House 48

Episode 1: The beginning

House 48 was empty before Bayo and Chidi moved in. It was a completed new building and the landlord was looking forward to making so much money from it.
The brothers liked it because the rooms were spacious and the finishing was perfect. So they followed the agent to the landlord's home.
He was a funny looking man with large protruding friendly eyes. His sitting room was large and unkept. There were just so many kids running from one end to the other.
"Are you brothers?" He asked.
"Yes sir. I am Bayo and he is Chidi." Bayo respectively responded.
He looked at them with his large eyes like they were aliens. "Your parents must have been confused." He said.
"No they were not sir," Chidi said.
"You are young and you look like a rascal." The landlord said. "I like rascals because I was one. So when are you paying for the room?"
"Right away sir." Bayo said.
He gave them his bank account number and soon they parked in. But life in House 48 it was so boring for the brothers.
Two weeks later, they heard that a lady was soon going to park in. The brothers were excited, They were finally going to have a neighbor.
"I am sure she will be pretty, I will quickly ask her out, sleep with her, and then make her know we are neighbours and we shouldn't be dating." Bayo explained to his kid brother.
"No, I will go for her friends instead." Chidi said, "I will sleep with all her friends and she will only be like a sister to me."
The weekend Madam IJ moved in, both brothers were home. They quickly came out to welcome the new neighbour.
She noticed them but made obvious efforts to ignore them.
The brothers were shocked at her overall look and countenance. Yet they tried to maintain a welcome smile.
Madam IJ walked past them with a deafening hiss and continued to murmur some rude words as she walked past them.
"Oh God. She is just an old devil." Chidi cried.
"She is a demon. She looks like a killer witch. Where are here kids and husband? Oh... Perhaps she ate them."
And so they stayed away from her. They were glad she was in far away flat 5.
Then Adams and Shade parked in. This time they observed from a distance. It was a real love drama.
"Honey, help me with the bag..."
"Honey get the door for me..."
"Honey this shirt really look nice on you. I am glad I bought it..."
All they heard was 'honey this, honey that' for the next four days.
"He acts like she is the only woman in the world," Chidi complained. "I am tired of hearing honey. Are they bees?"
"It's love." Bayo thoughtfully said. "Remember when I used to date Chi girl?"
"Oh stop it bro. Chi girl was sleeping with everyone in the neighborhood hood. Hell she even slept with that old dirty landlord." He heard movement outside. "Mr. Honey is coming out. I will go talk to him."
"What for?"
"Just to let him know there are other men in the world." He stood up and opened the door. "Hey Mr. Honey."
Adams turned around. "Did you just call me Mr. Honey?" He asked with a smile on his face.
"Did he seriously asked that question?" Bayo asked from inside.
"OK Mr, its bad enough with you just acting like we don't exist, but to think we are deaf?" Chidi was getting enough of him.
The friendly smile was still on Adams lips. "Well, I am Barrister. Adams..."
"I knew it." Chidi cut in.
"What?"
"What else would your name be? You better tell Madam Eve that you two are no longer the only people on earth. God has actually created more people. Some live in the same compound as you. And easy with the smile, I am not Eve."
"You are quite a funny dude. My girl's name is Shade. I am on my way out, see you when I return." He headed towards the exit of the building.
Chidi retreated into his room. "Now he knows we actually exist."
Adams was just a nice guy and they really liked him.
Then Ifeoma and Affiong parked him. They were two beauties with contrasting complexions. Affiong was dark and smooth skinned, while Ify was fair and hot.
"Now this is more like it!" Bayo shouted like he'd just won a jackpot. Bayo had instantly fallen in love with Affiong but knew he would never be able to tell her.
And for the next four times the girls' path crossed with Chidi's he would be like, "Hiiiii" staring at them as the moved opposite direction.
"Hi," the girl would reply and giggle.
"Men!!! Those girls are hot." He said to his brother once he came back from work.
"You know what, make a painting of the dark one for me." Bayo quickly said.
"Ha bro, you will pay meooo."
"Do it and charge me anything."
Fun Joe was the next to move in. He went around knocking on the neighbour's door on the same day, "heyyyyy," he would cheerfully and excitedly say, "I am fun Joe, your new neighbour."
"Nice meeting you." Adams and Shade cutely replied. They thought he was a nice guy.
"Fun Joe?" Chidi asked. "Why would your parents call you fun Joe? Were you born in a party hall."
"I think he was born in a club." Bayo put in.
"Actually I was born in the market.. My mum had to go buy stuff when I pushed out. She had no choice but to drop me there and then."
"Ewww," the brother's cried.
"That's okay, I am Bayo and that's my brother Chidi."
"I will like to meet your dad you know. He must be one hell of a player."
When Fun Joe knocked on Madam IJ's door he got a resounding, "What do you want!!" Causing Joe to pull away and walked straight to the girls' door.
"Hi girls, I am Fun Joe, you new neigbour." He was still looking towards Madam IJ's, scared that she might come to bark at him for knocking on her door.
"Fun Joe? Nice to meet you."
"You girls are really pretty angels. You deserve a special threat from me."
"Alright Fun, we will look forward to it."
"Emmm the woman in flat 5, is she normal?" Joe asked.
Both girls giggled. Madam IJ always hissed whenever their path crossed. They had decided to avoid her for good.
No one saw Joe again for the next 3 weeks.
"I think that Joe of a guy is crazy, where did he disappear to?" Chidi said to his brother.
"Joe is a weird guy, he park in her, got himself familiar with everyone and disappeared after two days," Shade said t Adams.
"Maybe he is dead somewhere and his ghost is just that friendly dude." Bayo said to Chidi.

"Fun Joe should be called disappearing Joe instead," Ifeoma said to Affiong.

Ken move in just a few week later and all attention shifted to him. He was a male goddess with a body so interestingly carved that one would think he was artificially made.
To the brother's dismay, they saw Affiong and Ify walk up to his door just a day after he parked in and knocked with a cake for him.
"Hi, we just wanna say welcome."
"Thanks girls." There was a lady in his room so he didnt let them in.
"Can you imagine?" Chidi cried. These girls just say hi to me whenever they see me but actually went knocking on the ugly dude's door to give him cake."
Bayo was broken hearted. He just realized he would always be all loss living around Affiong. "I think we will have to leave this apartment. I can't stand that young man having those girls and many more to himself. I don't want to commit murder."
He has been here for just three days and I have seen more than four girls in his room. Maybe he is a magician."
The next day Bayo began doing press up.
Chidi only laughed at him, " the best thing is to approach him, make him our friend and learn from him."
"Are you blind? There is no skill in what he does. He is just plain handsome."
But finally they met him and to their surprise Ken just looked at Chidi and asked, "Are you are a virgin?"

The brother's looked at themselves, "wow, he's good."

"What do you think about our new neighbours?" Ify asked her friend.
"They are cool except for that lady. The brothers are cute, oh do you see how handsome the elder brother looks on his work suit?" Affiong replied.
"I heard their names are Chidi and Bayo, how's that possible?"
"I wonder. I think that cute ken is going to kill himself with girls."
Ify lagged, "I think he is going to kill all the girls in this neighborhood all by himself."

A week later, Ken came home early from work on a Sunday evening. The passage way to his room was empty and the building was very quiet.
He brought his key and made to slot it into his door keyhole.
"Heeyyy my guy!!!"
Ken startled and almost ran out of the building.
"You must be the newest tenant here. I am Fun Joe, you neighbour."
"Fuuunn Joe" Ken repeated while trying to get over the shock. He was seeing Ken for the first time.
The brothers' door opened, "Fun Joe! You are back." Chidi excitedly asked.
"Yesoo. Fun Joe is in town.
Bayo joined his brother and together they walked up to Joe.
"Fun Joe! Welcome!" Ifeoma and Affiong just appeared on the hallway and joined in the excitement.
Adams opened his door too and came out, Shade following behind, "don't tell me its Fun Joe's voice I am hearing." Adams said.
"It's me, live and healthy."
"Its not fair Fun Joe, you just disappeared just like that." Shade said.
"I am sorry my people, but a man does not watch masquerade from a spot." He looked around. "Wow, it seems the house is complete, let me give you guys a treat at Lady K's spot down the street.
"Lady K's spot?" Bayo asked. The name was new to everyone.
"Common, people. It's just one the next junction down the street, in between the green building and the fenced compound."
They wondered how he got to know the area already, he had barely spend two nights in the neighborhood.
In next fifteen minutes they were all seated at the right corner of Lady K's Bar. It was an interesting place with cool music playing in the background. A nice place for relaxation it wads.
They all drank and laughed at each other's jokes.
"Did anybody notice the lady witch in room 5?" Fun Joe asked.
"She must be the devil himself." Bayo added.
"Since Ken here is the master in womanology, perhaps he should try to impress her with his good looks." Chidi said.
"I'd rather have Methuselah's ass." Ken quickly said.
"What's with the name Chidi and Bayo?" Adams asked as he took a sip of Harp beer.
"Chidi is my loving kid brother and that's all that matters." Bayo replied and put his right hand across Chidi's shoulder.
"So where did you travel to Fun Joe?" Affiong asked.
"I have nothing but love for all you guys and babies." Fun Joe replied.
They thought he had deliberately jumped the question. But the fact was that, what he just said just popped into his head.
That evening turned to be the best evening for them all since they moved in.
This was only beginning of a long lasting relationship of the tenants of House 48.

** *** **
Sorry for the typo errors.

Alright guys the house mates have all moved in... Please join me next week for a whole new and interesting episode of House 48.
Keep checking on me every Tuesday evening as we go into their personal lives of the house mates, their love lives, their dreams, personal conflicts, and their thickness. Thank you

Keep it up Mr Frank. Really hope you will finish dis story here

johnwizey:
Keep it up Mr Frank. Really hope you will finish dis story here

Oh sure I will... Remember that last story I started and didn't finish... Extreme Encounter. Well such happens when there is no encouragement. If this place continues to be like a desert, I will stop updating because I will assume I am talking to myself. Trust me stopping a story is easier than starting.

frank317:


Oh sure I will... Remember that last story I started and didn't finish... Extreme Encounter. Well such happens when there is no encouragement. If this place continues to be like a desert, I will stop updating because I will assume I am talking to myself. Trust me stopping a story is easier than starting.

Oh no...... Pls don't stop

Please continue, mate. You've always nailed it with your stories. This new series looks very promising. I believe I'll enjoy it.

frank317:


Oh sure I will... Remember that last story I started and didn't finish... Extreme Encounter. Well such happens when there is no encouragement. If this place continues to be like a desert, I will stop updating because I will assume I am talking to myself. Trust me stopping a story is easier than starting.

ehnnn, no Ooooo, please continueeeeee.

While we wait for the next episode in the on going series... More rants are here for u.

Bom Blast

When he saw her standing at the bus stop, he thought she was the prettiest thing he has ever seen. She was dressed in a Yellow button down gown that barely reached her knee. He believe she was an angel.

Her hair was newly made, he believed, and face was calm and smooth, so pretty he though he would faint looking at her.

He was in the passenger's side of his best friends car and thought it would be fruitless calling into her since she would see him as a scrub.

He wished the car was his but he couldn't even afford a bicycle. He wouldn't even be able to maintain such a pretty damsel. Worst, he was sure she wouldn't even give him attention.

He had been watching her for the past ten minutes while he waited for his friend who had parked beside the bus stop to buy some fruits.

Now his friend was about to drive away and he wished he has summoned up courage to approach her.

As the car pulled away, his friend looked towards the direction and noticed what had caught his whole attention.

"You like her, why don't you call her." His friend asked.

"Nah, no need wasting my time. What am I going with her? Just let it go."

His friend had driven a few feet from where she was when he stopped. "Just call her."

"Call her? How do you expect her to come? Like she is a LovePeddler?" She will feel offended."

"Why should you care, just call her. At least you will know you tried."

He looked out of the window and called out. "Hi pretty... Can we give you a ride?

She smiled. She had been conscious of the effect she had on him. She had tried to ignore him but he had been plain funny. It was actually nice knowing she had such effect on the cute young man. She was yet to meet a Mr. Right for herself since she broke up with her boyfriend 3 months ago. She has missed love.

Right now, the bus she was waiting for wasn't forth coming. Her legs were getting weak and the sun was threatening to melt her.

She had never been the type to walk up to a calling car but the young man on the passenger's seat had piqued her interest, besides she would need the ride if they would offer her one.

Surprised at herself, she walked towards the car.
He thought she was an angel even as she approached their car.

"Why don't you hop in, we will drop you were ever you want to go." He said, a bit scared she might turn him down.

"So how am I sure you don't want to kidnap me?" She bantered but making no attempt to open the door.

Encouraged by her cheerfulness he said, "trust me, if I could kidnap you just to stare at you forever, I would.
Common, it will be my pleasure to beg my friend to drop you anywhere you are going."

She liked the way he sounded so real. She liked him. She opened the door and hopped.

The car had barely moved a few meters away from the bus stop when they they heard the sound of an explosion. The sound was so loud that their car vibrated.

They looked towards the explosion area; the bus stop and everything around it had been leveled. A bomb explosion had just taken place where she stood a few minutes ago.

Few hours later, she was still visibly shaken. This man had actually saved her life. She didn't know what the future held but she owed her life to him and somehow believed he was her guardian angel. Perhaps he was Mr. Right.

He was glad he called her, he was glad he saved her.
Now he was going to work on making her his forever.

The end

In mama piss voice 'kontinu'

Looking forward to more rants. Have a great week Frank

House 48 (Episode 2)

The Landlords letter

Chidi was busy with his painting when Bayo came home from work that Friday evening. He needed to deliver the job first thing tomorrow morning.
"I hope you have finished painting Affiong's portrait?" Bayo asked the busy young man who obviously didn't want to get distracted.

"It's in your room." Chidi replied without looking up.

Bayo rushed into his room and quickly came out with the art work "This is perfect. You are good bro. You are talented, how did you draw her so perfectly without having her around?"

Chidi felt cool, "its what I do bro... What do you intend to do with that? Are you giving it to her?"

"I don't really know what to do with it..." He studied the painting for some time, "she is beautiful."

"Oh please bro. I am not going to pick up the pieces of your heart men it gets broken."

Someone knocked on the door. Bayo quickly put away the painting in his room.

Ken and Adams walked in.

"Hey," Chidi said.

"Wow!" Ken exclaimed at the sight of the art work in progress. He was wearing a white singlet and it revealed his admirable body.

"You don't have shirt in your house?" Bayo asked him. "I know it's Affiong you want to impress by coming out like that."

"Affiong? Why do you think so?" Ken asked. "But meeeeeen the babe is hot." He turned his attention to Chidi's work, "I really wish you learn to apply such expertise on a woman."

"Ah Ken, leave the poor boy alone." Adam quickly put in.

"You guys are actually distracting me. Is your better half not around? And you... Are you celebrating no chick day?" Chidi returned.

"Did you guys see the Letter from the Landlord?" Adams asked.

"Yes, the caretaker dropped a letter but I haven't gotten time to read it." Chidi said and pointed to the letter on the table.

"You didn't have time to read it?" Bayo asked. "What if it was an eviction letter?"

"How can we be evicted when Ken and madam IJ are yet to have sex?"

Ken smiled, "you are not serious Chidi. The landlord is evicting nobody, he is giving us rules."

"Rules?" Bayo didn't understand.

"Yes, rules like we are in some sort of secondary school." Ken explained.

"Guys, let's go sit in Lady K's bar. I need to take some beer while reading this." Bayo said.

"Alright, let's hook up there in the next fifteen minutes." Adams said and left with Ken.

Chidi looked at his brother suspiciously, "why did you hide Affiong's portrait when they came in?"

"Must everyone know I am tripping for her? Please I want my feelings for Affiong to be an in-house thing for now. Besides I am expecting a new babe to visit me this evening."

"Better. And try to let Affiong go for your own good."

"Are you not joining us at the bar?" Bayo asked, he was not in the mood to discuss his feelings for Affiong.

"I will, I just want to put some finishing touches to this."

"What kind if letter is this?" Ify asked. Her friend was eating from a plate of rice in her hand. Affiong had just shown Ify the letter just as she returned from work.

"Like we are in a hostel." Affiong replied.

The door flung open and Chidi entered.

He walked straight into the kitchen and came out with a spoon to join Ify. "I have been so busy all day that I forgot to eat."

"Chidi, are you Igbo or Yoruba?" Affiong asked.

"Huh" moaned and continued to eat.

Affiong tried again, "where are your parents from? What language do you speak?"

"I can speak English. I am a Nigerian." He looked up at Ify. "Please tell her to stop, the question are too much."

"Look at his eyes.... Just like a virgin's" Ify said.

"What? How does a virgin's eyes look like." Chidi dropped the spoon.

"I really don't know. Don't take me serious, I don't even know what I am saying."

"Have you seen the landlord's letter?" Chidi asked. "The guys have gone to Lady K's bar to discuss it." He stood up. "I am off to the bar."

"We will join you soonest." Ify said.

"Does it mean he does no know what tribe he is?

Once he got to the bar, he sat down and looked at Ken, "is it that glaring that I have never had sex?"

Over the days, they had been designated a particular sitting position at Lady K's bar. Fun Joe had seen to this.

"We must be home by 9.30pm? What's wrong with that old dude?" Bayo carelessly quipped, the letter still in his right hand while the left had a glass of beer.

"He must have gone senile. Visitor's are not allowed to stay more than a week? This is laughable." Adams said.

"I am done for, I look like a virgin. I look like I am sex starved." Chidi muttered to himself.

"Hey, with me by your side, you can never remain a virgin." Ken assured him.

Affiong, Ify and Shade joined them.

"I will communicate with the agent to ask him to come, we ought to have a meeting with him.

"Did anybody see this? Madam IJ must be given special consideration and must never be disturbed with loud music or any kind of noise." Affiong said.

"Did she write this?" Ken said.

"And Fun Joe is no where to be found." Shade said.

"I miss that guy," Chidi said.

"Are you Igbo or Yoruba," Affiong asked. The evening was getting interesting and the booze was flowing.

"Oh, Affi, let me be."

Bayo's mobile phone rang and he quickly picked it, "hello, you there? Alright I am on my way." He stood up, so long guys, I gat a date."

Ken chuckled, "A date in your bedroom."

"Look whose talking," Shade quickly put in.

"Where is your girlfriend?" Affiong asked Chidi.

"Affi, what's up with you. You seem to be so much concerned about Chidi lately." Ify asked.

Chidi stood up, "Ken, please give me a second."

"I need to get laid asap," he said to Ken once they were alone. "I can't stand looking sex starved to all these chicks."

"You don't look sex starved." Ken assured him. "But I will help, just point any chick you like to me and I will help you get her."

"I like Ify,"

"Okay, you don't want to get laid. I am out."

"I am sorry, please don't leave me, I can't do this alone." Chidi begged.

"You will get laid just as long as you don't get greedy."

Soon they joined the rest of the crew and enjoyed the evening together.

The next morning Bayo rushed out of his room, "Chidi," he called in a loud whisper. But Chidi was not in the house. Bayo went straight into Chidi's room to find them discussing seriously.

"What's going on here? What are you teaching my brother?"

"I am giving him some lessons on how to get laid asap."

Bayo waved that aside and sat down, "She saw the frame and wants to know who the girl in the portrait is. Now you have gotten me into trouble, why did you make it so damn beautiful. She is jealous and wants hers too, otherwise she is leaving my sorry ass."

"How is that my fault,?" Chidi asked. You knew you had a date and kept your crush's frame carelessly in the room. Well, just pay me another cash and I will draw another one for you."

"The money is much, I need another solution." Bayo cried.

"What is going on?" Ken asked.

The brother's kept quiet.

"Hello!" Ken tried again.

"Stay out of this, its our little secret." Bayo said.

"Chidi." Ken called. Then he stood up, "I guess you ain't gonna get laid anytime soon. The lesson is over."

"What are you doing?" Chidi asked.

"We are through... Except you tell me what's going on. Who is your brother's crush?"

Chidi lookef at Bayo, "I am sorry, I really need to get laid." He quickly told Ken how Bayo felt for Affiong.

"I will Kill you!" Bayo warned.

Ken looked at him with eyes wide open, "You just broke he greatest dating rule ever invented. Never fall in love with your neigbour. You can have sex with her but don't fall in love!"

"Whose rule is that?" Chidi asked and brought fourth his pen to take note.

"You have to unlove her and break the portrait."

"I can't break anything, I paid dearly for it."

The door opened behind and Affiong peeped in, "the landlord is here guys."

They all stood up to leave. "Keep this to yourself." Bayo warned.

Outside, the landlord and caretaker walked round the building and examined it.

"I worked very hard to raise this structure, its my little baby." The landlord said while the caretaker nodded his head in agreement.

They met the tenants in the compound. Everyone was there except Madam IJ and Fun Joe.

"My dear tenants, I need you all to sign the letter in agreement to my rules. As you can see, this building is my hard earned money and I wouldn't like you guys to use it anyhow for me."

"You should have shown us the rules before allowing us to pay for the rent." Adams spoke up.

"How does that change anything."

"We are not signing anything. In fact that letter is an insult to our person." Adams replied.

"Ha... You mustooo. That is the only way you can stay in my house."

"And why are you giving special preference to Madam IJ? She is not to abide by any of the rules."

"I have always known that you are a rascal... What's your business with..."

"How dear you call my little brother a rascal." Bayo cut in.

"Look at these children. Is it because I didn't ask you to bring your parents marriage certificate so as to ascertain if you two are brothers?"

Madam IJ quietly came out from inside the building.

"If you like Madam IJ you let us know and I can teach you how best to do it..."

"Who is that calling my name? So you all gathered here to gossip with my name?" Madam IJ barged in cutting Ken off.

"No we were discussing the letter I sent..." The landlord tried.

"I heard my name, why call my name in my absence?" She asked, to no one in particular.

"I was actually telling the landlord here what a kind woman you are and.." Ken said.

"Don't tell the landlord anything about me. I don't have time for all your nonsense in this compound." She looked at Affiong and Ifeoma, let out a loud his and walked away.

"I dont want that woman's problem. Stop joining me with her. This is why I left her out of the rules I sent." The Landlord said.

"Well, I am not staying in this house again. Landlord, please refund my balance." Bayo said.

Ken Joined him, "Yes, i am not staying again. Balance me too."

Adams stepped forward, "You have made the house unfavourable for your tenants and you partially left out a tenant because you think she is troublesome. You obviously dont want peaceful tenants. Well, we have freedom of choice and we choose to leave. We didnt sign such agreement with you and are under no obligation to be coerced into accepting such disrespectful agreement and..."

"It is okay my learned tenants. I was only joking with you guys. We are not quarreling. Ah, nobody is leaving, were all friends. just be careful with how you handle the property, that is all. And avoid that woman, I heard she is very troublesome." The landlord tried to pacify them.

"This is what you should have said." Ifeoma said "We are not ready to spoil anything here. After all, this is our home too."

The landlord smiled, "It is okay..." He looked at the caretaker, "Alright, I have to attend a meeting, that was why I came early." Quickly, they both walked away and the tenants giggled excitedly.

By the time Bayo got to his room his date was set to leave.

"You are leaving so soon?" Bayo asked.

"I have seen the girl in the portrait, She even lives in the same building with you. In fact, don't make a portrait for me again. I am not ready to have my head broken by your neigbour." She opened the door and Bayo followed her.

Outside, the whole crew watched them.

"She is not my girl, i just..." he looked towards their direction and stopped. He just allowed the girl to go. Then he slowly walked up to his co tenants.

"Why is she leaving? She found out you have another girl?" Affiong asked.

Bayo was sad, "it was just a minor issue," he gave Ken and Chidi a warning look, "I want to be alone." Then he walked into his room.
"Poor guy," Ifeoma said.

Affiong looked at Ken, "is there anything you guys are keeping from us? I recall Bayo asking you to keep something to yourself when i came to notify you of the landlord's presence."

Ken feigned ignorance, "I don't know what you are talking about. Common Chidi, I have some lessons for you."

Together, the two of them walked away.

"Guys... I am sure they know Bayo must be cheating on his girl." Affiong said.

"Thats why I love my man... he will never cheat on me." Shade said and kissed Adams, dragging her into their apartment.

Affiong and Ifeoma also walked into their apartment.



Hook up with me next week for a brand new interesting Episode.

nice write-up bro keep it up

Reads very much like an episode from the popular drama series ' Face to Face'. Fine story, feeling the comedy.

House 48 (Episode 3)

Bayo's Dilemma

Chidi rushed into Ken's room once he came back from work. "She accepted she would come around tomorrow. I am nervous and I don't know what to do. Please, I need your help"

"Calm down man." Ken sand and continue to take of his shirt. It was Friday evening and he had just come back from work for the day. "So what do you really want me to help you with?"

Chid sat down, he had been waiting for Ken to come home since he finished talking to Thelma on the phone this afternoon and she finally accepted she would pay him a visit tomorrow. Ken had actually been giving him basic instructions on what to do to make her fall in love and every thing had been working out as Ken predicted. "I want to have sex with her once she comes."

Ken studied him for a while, "You know you are asking for much right?"

"Ya, but it's possible right?"

"Yes it is, but you have to be smooth to achieve that." Ken replied.

"Smooth?" Chidi asked in confusion.

Ken heard movement outside, "I think your brother is back."

"Smooth? What has my brother coming back got to do with smooth? Do I need to come to your gym to make myself smooth?"
"Wait... listen." Ken hushed him.



Outside, Bayo was just opening his door and Affiong walked into the passage towards the exit. She was casually dressed in a bump short and a small t-shirt.

"Hi banker."

Hey, how are you doing."

Fine, she said and walked by. Then she stopped, "Emm, Bayo, I don't know what you did to that girl a week ago that made her swore not to return but..."

"She didnt swear." His eyes lit, "did you see her? Did she she swear to you that..."

"Listen!"

"Oh, sorry." a long silence lingered and Bayo thought she looked very cute, "Emm continue."

"You know what? Forget it, you men are just the same. I know you must have cheated on her and that's bad of you."

'I didnt cheat on her." Bayo defended. "I don't do that."

"Then what happened? Why did she leave so angrily. Prove to me you didn't break her heart like all men do, Prove to me you are not heartless..."

"I didn't cheat on her... do you really want to know why she was mad at me?"

"Of course I want to know, so that I will know how to judge you."

"Well, she was angry because I had..."

Ken's door opened and Ken quickly stepped out. "Hi Affi, God! you look gorgeous. Bayo, I need to talk to you." He held Bayo's hand and dragged him into his room."

"You are interrupting our conversation." Affiong cried.

"This is very important, you guys can continue later." he closed the door and shut it.

Affiong walked away disappointedly.



"What is wrong with you? Does inhaling the odour of money have an effect on the brain?"

"What?" Bayo asked, confused.

"Do you really want to tell her why your your chick left?"

"What do you want me to do? She is probing, She wants to know... maybe, perhaps I should tell her how i feel."

Ken looked at Chidi, "Your brother has gone nuts and don't let him infect you with what ever has gotten into him other wise, you will never get laid even tomorrow."

Chidi stood up, "And you brought him here? Please take him away, Please make him go away."

"You are sending me away because of woman?"

Adams opened the door. "Hi guys,"

"Hi." Bayo replied.

"Are you having woman problem?" Ken asked

Adams looked at him in wonder, "Were you a woman in your first life... I am having issues with Shade. She thinks I know why Bayo's girl left him and she is assuming she left because Bayo cheated on her."

Bayo shook his head helplessly. "Why is this bothering everybody?"

"You have made the girls feel insecure. Now my girl thinks I am in support of what you did and could learn such bad habit from you. Ken here is enough bad influence, they think, and now you?. What did you do to the poor girl?" Adams asked.

"Don't tell him anything Bayo." Ken warned, "Remember, he is living with a woman. She will make him tell her and then, everybody will know."
Bayo sighed helplessly.

Chidi moved around helplessly. he needed lessons on how to be smooth.

Adams was looking at Ken like he was surprised, "Are you serious? You guys are keeping something from me? Damn... I thought I was your friend.

the door opened, "Hey guys!"

"Fun Joe!" Everyone screamed.

"Are you guys mourning?" Fun Joe said."Come on, I am gonna give you guys some Friday fun."

Soon the guys were in Lady K's bar.

'Where do you always travel to, Fun Joe?" Bayo asked just as their drinks were served.

"Here and there, anyone seen Madam IJ?" Joe replied.

"Are you in love with her?" Chidi asked.

"No!" Joe almost screamed.

"I don't understand.. Why didn't you even asked after the two pretty damsels we have in the building?' Ken asked.

"Actually, three pretty damsels."

'Ohhh, you think Madam IJ is a pretty damsel too?" Chidi quickly asked.

"Guys, Shade is hot! hellooo,"

"But Shade is your woman... how can she be hot?" Bayo asked.

"Excuse me?" Adam asked.

Chidi looked at Ken, "Please professor, what is the psychology behind us not feeling Shade is hot?"

Ken dropped his glass of beer to explain, "You see, a man's button of attraction automatically switches off once he finds out that a woman is married, engaged or hooked. There is no honorable pleasure in admiring another man's lady except the intentions are mischievous. The possibility of making a single woman yours is what makes her more attractive; why waste so much energy checking out an already taken woman?"

"So you think my woman is not a pretty damsel?" Adams asked.

"Its more like... we don't care." Ken replied.

"I just want to be friendly with her and bring her into the fold." Fun Joe said. At first, everyone wondered what he was talking about, "As tough and unfriendly as she may look, I still want to believe she has a good side."

"Huh? Witches have good side too?" Bayo asked. "So what are your plans?"

"I don't know... lets see how it goes." Fun Joe replied.

"Its pointless, she obviously will not be fun to be with; she is old and tasteless. Besides, I think she is impossible." Ken said.

"I am gonna try." Fun insisted.

"Whats wrong with you man?" Adams had to ask, "Are you sick or something? Why bother yourself over such a troublesome unfriendly hag anyways. Where is your girl by the way... or do you have a crush on Madam?"

Fun Joe looked at Adam. "I don't really have time for woman now."

"Yea right, you are nomadic." Chidi said.

"But I will bring her into the fold. I am Fun Joe, I was made to make everyone around me happy."

"Hey guys." Ify's voice made everyone look up. Beside her were Affiong and Shade. "what are the boys planning? How to hurt the next lady?"

"Seriously, we shouldn't be talking to you guys." Shade said.

"Who is making my ladies feel bad?" Fun Joe said. "Now you girls, have a seat.

The girls sat down.

"Bayo cheated on his girl and we think that was disrespectful to us." Affiong said.

Bayo shifted uncomfortable on his seat, Ken was quick to notice.

"Why does the man have to take the blame for every issue in a relationship?" Ken asked.

"Don't go playing the blame game here smart boy," Shade said. "You wouldn't be hiding something from us if the break up wasn't Bayo's fault."

"Oh yea? The fact was that I used to know that girl and I slept with her sometime ago. She saw me and became uncomfortable." Ken quickly explained. Bayo and Chidi wondered where his story was coming from.

"But I heard Bayo plead and say someone was not his girl." Affiong said.

"She just made some false accusation just get away so fast. Common girls, you know how ladies do their thing whenever they are at fault. Accusing Bayo of liking her friend was just her get away card just after noticing I lived in the same house with Bayo."

The girls remained silent and started at Bayo who smiled sheepishly at them.

"Now that you all have heard it, you can now let the matter rest and let them men do their thing." Ken concluded.

Later that evening, Ken entered the brothers' apartment. Chidi was painting while Bayo was reading a novel.

"Hey," Chidi said, "I still need lectures on how to be smooth with my date tomorrow."

Ken ignored him, "I want to see the portrait"

Without saying a word, Bayo led him into the room. he brought it out from behind the room divider.

"Wow! its perfect." Ken said. "Bayo, you might not get it, but I think its absolutely wrong to fall in love with your neigbour. It's even worst to show it. And if she finds out and rejects you on the ground that she looks at you like a brother... things will forever be awkward with the both of you.

You will hate yourself for it."

"So what do I do? How can I love someone and not show it." Bayo asked.

"Sometimes, we just let nature take its cause." His mobile began to ring. He looked at the caller ID, "I have to go man. My new girl is around." quickly he left the room and walked towards the exit of the house.

"Smooth... remember?" Chidi said.

Ken turned around, "I remember... To be smooth, you just have to be yourself and follow what your instinct is telling you in relation to her body language. Just pay close attention to her. When a girl likes you, your attention makes you come off as very romantic. Cheers."


Saturday Evening, Ken was in the girl's apartment and telling them some of his escapades with women. Chidi opened the door and walked in.

"I need cold water, our fridge is messing up." He said.

"Whats that?" Ifeoma asked.

"What?"
"Did you just have sex?" Affiong asked.

"Oh my God, is it that obvious?" He rushed to the mirror on the wall. "What did you see? How did you know?"

"Welcome to my word bro... today you become a real man." Ken said.

Chidi jumped up excitedly, "Wow... is this what I have been missing? Men, the pleasure is off this world! I am so going to do it with every babe on the street," he looked at the girls, "Watch out girls, Mr. Lover is here to sweep you off your feet."

"What is it!! Why are you knocking on my door!!" They heard Madam IJ's voice and everyone rushed out to see.

"No I just think we should be friendly and perhaps hang out in lady K's bar once in a while." Fun Joe explained.

"I am very sure you must be drunk. God punish you for coming here... may fire from hell consume you this moment. Lady K? Me and you? You must be crazy... You want a born again christian like me to follow you to a bar... may tse-tse fly blind your eyes..."

"I am sorry ma, please for give me." Joe pleaded.

"Get out of my door before I break your head with mortar."

Fun Joe turned around and quickly left. He met the whole house hold watching him at the passage. He walked straight past them, "I will be cooling off at Lady K's, anyone care to join?"

Every body followed him even as Madam IJ continued to brawl.

"Hey Bayo," Affiong called, while others moved ahead.

He turned around to look at her, "I am sorry for accusing you of cheating on your girl... I have had issues with men and I don't trust them any more."

He put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a soft hug, "I understand... some men are nothing but beasts, but some, like me are angels."

"Don't flatter yourself." she bantered and they playfully joined the others at the bar.

"I told you she is a witch." Bayo said.

"She said she was a Christian," Ken quipped.

"She almost killed you. Poor guy," Adams said.

"I will be traveling tomorrow." Ken said.

Ifeoma dropped her cup of drink, "I hope you will be coming back?" she asked.

Chidi looked at Shade intensely.

"What?" Shade asked.

With a smile, Chidi asked, "Do i look different."

"Wow! You just had sex.. Hey guys, did anyone notice Chidi just had sex?"

Bayo stood up, "My baby brother became a man today, All thanks to Ken. Cheers.

Cheers!! everyone screamed, except Fun Joe.



Join me next week for a whole new episode of house 48.

The last post was wicked....

Madam IJ na devil o

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Lights Out

Another Friday, Bayo came home from work and met the house so quite and lonely. He wondered what was happening, 'Perhaps rapture has taken place,' he thought.

He was straight to his door and opened it. Entering, he noticed his brother was working on his paintings before he left for wherever he went.

Bayo turned on the light switch and the light did not come up. "Damn," He coursed out. "What a great way to start the weekend." The time was 5.30pm, and he hoped that power would come up before it got dark.

he went into his room and somehow felt the need to look at Affiong's portraits. This Portrait had been the closest he could get to Affiong in recent times. He had grown attached to it and always looked at it when he was alone.

while at it, he heard voices outside his flat and rushed to see who was around. He could detect Affiong's voice, but the second voice, which was masculine, was alien to him. Then he came to the realization, Affiong was with a lover!

Bayo opened the door to see who was smooth talking Affiong.

"Hi Bayo." Affiong greeted once she saw Bayo's door open.

"Hi"

"This is my boyfriend, James."

Bayo moved closer.

"James, this is Bayo my brotherly neigbour."

"Hi," Bayo said, "Nice meeting you." He felt like he had just lost 1million naira as both men shook hands. But the face looked familiar. He wondered where he met the guy. Then to Affiong, "We don't have power, but I thought I saw light in other buildings close by."

"You didn't notice?" Affiong said. "There was a spark this afternoon and our connection wire cut. We will need to contribute some cash to get it up tomorrow, otherwise we are definitely having a horrible weekend."

"That's bad. Alright, I have to get somethings done in my room before it gets dark. You two have a nice time." Bayo said and went away.

James looked at Affiong, "You said this is your neigbour?'

'Ya, great guy right? Don't tell me you are already falling in love with him." Affiong jokingly said.

James made a helpless gesture with his hand, "Can the two of you get a room please?"

"What?" Affiong asked.

"The guy obviously has the hots for you."

'Noooooo, that't not true. Stop accusing the poor guy."

"I am not comfortable with you living in the same building with him." James said firmly.

"Are you planning to rent a duplex for me?"

"I don't have no cash right now baby?" James said.

"And you want me to move out?"

"Okay... I was just joking baby." he looked at his wrist watch. 'I have to go right now. see ya baby." He hurriedly left the building.

Chidi was having so much fun hanging around Ken.

"If I continue going to the gym with you, by next week, my chest will be bigger than yours." Chidi said as they enter the building hallway.

"I think you should be worried about the pains you will feel in the morning." Ken said as he made to bring out his key, "Its dark and hot, I hope we will survive the night." He muttered.

Bayo rushed out of his room excitedly. "Guys, I met Affiong's guy today."

"How is that news?" Ken asked.

"Oh, he came to fix the light?" Chidi bantered.

"Common guys..."

"Chidi cut him off, "How manny times do I have to tell you to unlove that babe? If you don't, this is how your life will be; miserable and lonely, while hers will be groovy and fun filled."

"Listen to him bro... I believe this guy. Do you know he has slept with almost every girl at his work place? He is a champ and I hope to be like him some day."

Ken just dusted his shoulder with pride. 'We run things things don't run we."

"I thought the guy looked familiar and I was right. He is currently dating one of my female staff. He comes in once in a while to hang out with her but I called her to be sure. Guess what... her boyfriend's name is James. What a coincidence?"

"So what do you want to do detective? Tell her?" Ken asked.

"What do you want me to do smart ass? Ignore her?" Bayo returned.

Madam IJ came out of the hall way and walked towards the exit of the building.

The three maintained silence until she walked past them and let out a deafening hiss.

"Did anyone see her Dracular teeth glittering in the darkness?"

Adams came out of his room, "Hi guys... did anyone notice that every house in the neigbourhood has power except house 48?"

"For a barrister, thats actually a dumb question." Bayo said.

"Well, I was driving at something." Adams returned.

"And you have to act dumb to get to your destination?" Chidi put in.

Shade came out as well, "Honey, I am afraid to stay alone in the dark."

"Oh sorry baby, come here and let me hold you by my side." Adams drew her closer and both shared a kiss.

"You guys need light so you'll be sure you are not licking her ears instead." Chidi said.

"Yes.." Adams responded and clears his throat, "I was thinking we need to discuss on how to contribute some cash and restore power here."

"Why don't we do that that in my room, I am tired and thirsty." Chidi said.

They all headed for his room.

"Erm excuse me Adams, can I ask you a question?" Ken said.

Adams waited.

"How do you get so attached to this one girl without getting tired of her?" the play boy asked.

"Its love.. I am in love with her."

"I have loved so many girls and never got this attached." Ken replied.

"I don't know, you got a problem man."

'I Know your problem. You are scared of asking other girls out and being rejected."

Adams laughed, "look at me, do you think anyone can reject me?" He said and walked into Bayo's room.

Ken dropped his bag in his room and joined them, Affiong and Ifeoma also came in.

"Nice," Adams said, "We are complete. I have calculated how much we need to get the power back. Every room needs to pay a thousand naira each."

"Nice but how do we get Madam IJ and Fun Joe to pay?" Ifeoma asked.

"I will pay Fun Joe's" Bayo said, "We will settle it out when he comes back. Paying Madam IJ's wouldn't be much stress but, its just unfair that she blacklists everyone and get away with stuff like this." He didn't understand why Affiong had been staring at him strangely all night.

"I suggest we all go to her tomorrow morning and ask for her own payment." Ken suggested.

"What if she refuses to pay?" Shade asked, 'What if she tells us off and fails to listen. Recall even the land lord can't call her to order."

"I think she will pay, lets not get ahead of ourselves. That settled, what next for the dark night?"

"I have some hot drinks in my room, lets play truth or dare."

"Yea!" They all responded as Ken rushed off to get some drinks.

'Now this is how we are going to play this. Its going to be fair, we just wanna get drunk. We will do this turn by turn. When it gets to your turn you dare anyone to tell you things about them you would wish to know or perhaps do some stuff, if not you dare him to take more alcohol. So the game is simple, tell the truth or get drunk.

At the beginning of the game almost everyone preferred to take alcohol so they all soon got tipsy and drunk."

"It got to Chidi's turn for the umpteenth time, "I want Affiong to kiss Bayo or both should take a glass each.

"I will take a glass," Bayo said despite the alcohol in his system. He thought this would be an embarrassment.

"Affiong held her both hands unto her head, "I an already drunk, give me a kiss and lets get this over with."

"Whoa!!" Everyone screamed, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss"

Affiong stood up and brought Bayo's head and planted a kiss. Then it lingered, Bayo felt she was sucking up the whole alcohol in his system. It was the most passionate kiss he had ever had.

Affiong withdrew and passed out almost immediately.

The fun continued.

'I dare Ken to show Ifeoma how to rock." Adams challenged Ken. Ken quickly stood up and pulled Ifeoma up. He held her in a romantic position and began to rock her, an imaginary music playing his head. Ifeoma allowed herself to be rocked in his arms.

When they were through, it was Shade's turn. "Adams, tell me if you have ever thought of cheating on me."

Adams looked at her, "I will never ever cheat on you baby."

"Ohhh" Shade cried and gave him a kiss and both began to cuddle.

Everyone was drunk except Bayo. The kiss was something he would never forget.

The next morning, they all gathered in front of Madam IJ's door and Adams knocked, hangover was telling on everyone. The electricians where busy working outside while they decided to get the money from her.

"Who is that fool knocking on my door?" She shouted from inside.

But Adams didn't care, he knocked again. The undissolved alcohol in his system made him wanna just handle her and get it over with. Everyone needed to sleep some more.

She opened the door, "Are you all mad? Are you stupid? How dear you knock on my..."

"We need money to repair the light." Chidi rudely cut her insultive speech.

"You must be crazy!" Madam IJ screamed at the top of her voice.

"Guys, she obviously don't want the light, why are we bothering..."

'Ashawo, you even have the mouth to speak in my presence."

'Woman watch you tongue before i cut it off." Bayo warned.

"Okay, you guys planned to come here and beat me right? Envy has eaten you up and now you want to fight me. But the God I serve will defeat you. My almighty father will fight for me."

"Guys," Ken called, "We don't need to face this this morning. I have an idea, please let us let her be."

They all began to leave.

"Come back here and face me, cowards!" Madam IJ shouted at them.

"Frustrated woman." Chidi said from the distance.

This obviously infuriated Madam IJ, "It is your mother that is frustrated. You are frustrated."

They left her screaming like a mad woman.

"I will pay her part and even an extra for the electrician to disconnect her until she pays double."

They all accepted as Ken and Adams went to meet with the electricians.

"Hey, thanks for standing up for me." Affiong said to Bayo. Wait, did we kiss last night?"

Bayo laughed, "we did... but it was just some drunk stuff, I barely remembered it."

"Ya, alright... I have to get take some coffee." She walked towards he room with Ifeoma and stopped. "Hey," She called on Bayo and he turned around, "Ermm, never mind." She said and walked into the room.

"What was that? Ifeoma asked.

"James told me Bayo's got the hot for me, but from the look of things Bayo obviously just sees me as a neighbor."

"Why do you sound disappointed."

"I don't know... How can he not remember the sweet kiss. Gosh I am being stupid."

"You are not, especially if the kiss was nice."

"Trust me it was perfect." Affiong replied affirmatively.

I understand sis, in fact, from the way Ken touched me last night... I wouldn't mind being cuddled in his arms once again. Damn, the guy knows how to do his thing.

Both girls laughed and giggled at their wishful thinkings.

Hours later, the came up but Madam IJ didn't have light. She snooped around and it was obvious that they had cut her connection. She decided to remain silent and give them time to reverse this action. If after one week they didn't connect her light back, she would swing into action and show them her name was Madam IJ.

Ken's girlfriend Came around that evening and while they cuddled, he couldnt help imagine it was Ify in his arms. Touching her last night had felt nothing like home but he was determined to follow his own advice, one he had been giving Bayo since he discovered he loved Affiong.

Chidi tried to paint but he was feeling pains all over his body and the hangover was making him restless. He dropped his paint brush and looked towards his brother, "Hey, what are you thinking? do you want to rob your bank?"

"Bayo looked up, I can't help but think about last night's kiss with Affiong.

'Ya, I wonder why I made that request, now I have just put my dear brother in a mess."


Alright, watch out for a whole new episode next week.

I can't just stop laughing.

Madam IJ should be thoroughly beaten if she proves stubborn

i'm so fvcking enjoying these stories.

Estharfabian:
Amicable09, You brought me here!


?
Nice piece indeed!
And I "Liked" it.......

Hahahaha. That's the hidden agenda *winks.
Let's support writers before they angrily go into extinction.

Babe how far with studies? Sometimes I wish I can "like" a post twice or thrice even! You have posts that should be liked again and again. I saw one somewhere today and I "Liked" it! Lol. Won't tell you which sha.

Ogah Frank hope u are fyn.It's bn a while. Nice story here,i've been following silently.

Countrygirl:
Ogah Frank hope u are fyn.It's bn a while.
Nice story here,i've been following silently.

I am fine dear.... Well if the story is nice, you guys ain't making it seem so. It's discouraging and it sometimes feel like 'what's the point?'.
I intended to go all the way but, I feel like I am talking to myself.

Well, for few following this story, hook up with me at nigerianwritershub.com. I am currently in episode 11.
But I think I am done with posting stories on Nairaland for good.

frank317:


I am fine dear.... Well if the story is nice, you guys ain't making it seem so. It's discouraging and it sometimes feel like 'what's the point?'.
I intended to go all the way but, I feel like I am talking to myself.

Well, for few following this story, hook up with me at nigerianwritershub.com. I am currently in episode 11.
But I think I am done with posting stories on Nairaland for good.

Ok,will check it out.

frank317, couldn't find collection of my rants on Nigerianwritershub.com

khalifahsparkles:
frank317, couldn't find collection of my rants on Nigerianwritershub.com

http://nigerianwritershub.com/2015/12/18/house-48-episode-1/

I dont have a title "collection of my rants" just created this one for nairaland. However, you can follow the link to read episode one of House 48, and also easily find other episodes.

Like i said, I am currently in Episode 11, a new episode(12) will come up on tuesday.

thank you.

frank317:


http://nigerianwritershub.com/2015/12/18/house-48-episode-1/

I dont have a title "collection of my rants" just created this one for nairaland. However, you can follow the link to read episode one of House 48, and also easily find other episodes.

Like i said, I am currently in Episode 11, a new episode(12) will come up on tuesday.

thank you.

hey bro, send me a mail pls. buharifan@gmail.com

You just gat me commenting for the first time ere in romance section.... Alwais d Ghoster..... Well house 48 rocks...... Hilarious and I suspect some crazy twists..... Kip it up Frank

@frank317
Been searching for you all over Nairaland
and I can see you that you are still doing
what you know best.
This Okada books I don't understand
I want to buy Reincarnation