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How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by Treetop20(m): 1:34am On Jun 20, 2009
Fhemmmy:

I will hate to be tolerated, but to be loved and be appreciated.
sorry to disappoint you but
you not always be loved and appreciated
all your bad and annoying behaviors will have to
be tolerated. no one wants to "love" and "cherish" you
when you are being a pain in the ass. you want her to be able to
tolerate!
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by ireke(m): 6:46am On Jun 20, 2009
We often misuse that valuable irreplaceable time called courtship. Courtship is not a time to know how good our spouse will be in bed.

Don't just focus on the times when you asked and (s)he gave or yielded to your requests. Focus more on how (s)he deals with her/his siblings, how (s)he treats the waiter at the restaurant, the conductor/stranger in the bus and even her/his subordinates, colleagues and boss at work. If (s)he shows respect to them, (s)he will repsect you. If (s)he treats them with comtempt, it will be your turn one day when the love tan goes off your skin. How does (s)he behave when (s)he is angry? Take good note because it will be your turn one day. How does (s)he relate with people that you know that (s)he knows that you know that (s)he can't stand i.e. people (s)he hates? He will have a tendency to treat you like that in her/his down moments. Take good hints when he comments on movies or news items. Relax and study him well enough to know his philosophy about life.

Of course, shit does happen, but when it does, there is a kind of confidence that comes when you know that you have done your due diligence.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by emiemi(f): 9:03am On Jun 20, 2009
Hmmm, Choices we make huh
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by anddrewz: 11:23am On Jun 20, 2009
Marriage is a life time affair, and life is an ungoing thing. human beings undergo changes. "life will be absolutely meaningless if there were no room for changes". But what is important is the direction of the change, is it for possitive or negative?. If a woman marries a man that was smoking before the marriage, and after wards decides to stop smoking, that ofcourse is towards possitive. But if she marries a man that wasn't a drunk b4, but changes to become one, that is negative.

The woman also undergoes some changes, most of the time the changes are meant to make both of them blend well. There are some characters that will not be reveal in a man except he passes through fire (pressure, hardship, difficulties etc). That is also applicable in a woman. Ones real character is known when he passes through "fire". Maybe during the courtship some issues that will manifest during marriage did not come up, the woman may not know the mans reaction to such issues. It is therefore advisable to strive to know each other as much as u can during the courtship, but also expect some reactions which might not manifest during courtship period, then make some adjustments towards a lasting marriage. The truth is there is no perfect marriage, but you can make yours as comfortable as u want, by simple adjustment, understanding, patience, and tolerance.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by Hotchyk(f): 1:35pm On Jun 20, 2009
A succesful marriage is 10% pre and 90% post, ie what you do during courtship and after the wedding. most partners show love to each other when they are still dating, only to grow cold to each other after the ceremony.Women,you need to see your husband as your son whose excesses you will condone, no matter how gross.
Men,the Bible says that 'hell has no fury as a woman scorned'. Learn to respect and love your wife.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by cayesworld(m): 5:27pm On Jun 20, 2009
Hotchyk:

A succesful marriage is 10% pre and 90% post,

Actually, I believe it should be the other way round (90% pre, 10% post). What are you doing getting married with only a 10% understanding of your spouse?

@chaicover
I feel your responses the most on this thread. Makes a whole lotta sense
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by tinuade001(f): 9:13pm On Jun 20, 2009
Don't just focus on the times when you asked and (s)he gave or yielded to your requests. Focus more on how (s)he deals with her/his siblings, how (s)he treats the waiter at the restaurant, the conductor/stranger in the bus and even her/his subordinates, colleagues and boss at work. If (s)he shows respect to them, (s)he will repsect you. If (s)he treats them with comtempt, it will be your turn one day when the love tan goes off your skin. How does (s)he behave when (s)he is angry? Take good note because it will be your turn one day. How does (s)he relate with people that you know that (s)he knows that you know that (s)he can't stand i.e. people (s)he hates? He will have a tendency to treat you like that in her/his down moments. Take good hints when he comments on movies or news items. Relax and study him well enough to know his philosophy about life.
good talk. this is a very good and kind word.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by na2day2(m): 9:54pm On Jun 20, 2009
chaircover:

90% of understanding ones partner should have come before the wedding. That is what courting is for.

You won’t completely find out everything about someone until you start living with them but this is where tolerance levels, love & patience come in.

After the wedding it should only really a case of fine tuning things and responding to new situations and scenarios, such as disciplining the children, dealing with in-laws etc


90% ! na jazz? shocked shocked shocked max, u will learn and know him 70% u have the rest of ur life learning and trying to figure out the remaining ever evolving 30% and usually the 30% is bigger and larger than the 70% u think u know grin grin grin
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by rubi(f): 11:12pm On Jun 20, 2009
You can if you are very deligent during courtship. Love is blind marriage is an eye opener
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by na2day2(m): 11:24pm On Jun 20, 2009
rubi:

You can if you are very deligent during courtship. Love is blind marriage is an eye opener

dont believe that period, i have way too many examples to show u
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by rubi(f): 11:27pm On Jun 20, 2009
na2day?:

dont believe that period, i have way too many examples to show u
What I meanis forget about excitement and fantacy during courtship eg going to buffet etc just concentrate on the persons personality/intergrity that will help in marriage
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by manmustwac(m): 11:30pm On Jun 20, 2009
Na woa am planning to marry my babe towards the end of this year. And although she's a nice person i hardly spent time with her so i can't say i really know her that well.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by na2day2(m): 11:55pm On Jun 20, 2009
rubi:

What I meanis forget about excitement and fantacy during courtship eg going to buffet etc just concentrate on the persons personality/intergrity that will help in marriage

oh no u didn't! if a guy does that next thing u know the girls will open thread on NL about how stingy or broke azz the guy is
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by rubi(f): 12:42am On Jun 21, 2009
na2day?:

oh no u didn't! if a guy does that next thing u know the girls will open thread on NL about how stingy or broke azz the guy is

Marriage is not meant for boys and girls
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by na2day2(m): 1:06am On Jun 21, 2009
rubi:

Marriage is not meant for boys and girls

ah! i got u, i will let the rest of NL girls know that wink wink wink
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by Allta(m): 9:26am On Jun 21, 2009
rubi:

Marriage is not meant for boys and girls

I concur, I see it as a game of luck (or if you're religious, a game of blessing); whichever way, no one can really predict the outcome of it. It's definately not meant for boys and girls, it's a game for men and women.

However, the more time spent together (under the same roof) during courtship, will teach how to understand and bear with love with the other half. The only thing is that, in our culture, people aren't "normally suppose" to live together for long before marriage/engagement. But in most part of the west, it's an intricate aspect of life where a boy and girl move in together and then spend quality years to understand each other before taking it to another level of committment - marriage. Once done, there is no looking back. Moreover, the only way out is divorce, and funny enough, that's very rampant in the west than south.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by ehisianya(m): 12:37pm On Jun 21, 2009
In My opinion, don't try to understand him at all, JUST LOVE HIM kiss
A good relationship is like a a good health, u will not know the value until u are ill.
and a successful MARIAGE is the One B/W a blind wife & a deaf Husband.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by messiah(m): 1:52pm On Jun 21, 2009
Courtship is a period of deception where each partner puts up a facade in order to impress the other thereby masking the true fact that they're just humans.
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by Bawss1(m): 10:49am On Jun 22, 2009
messiah:

Courtship is a period of deception where each partner puts up a facade in order to impress the other thereby masking the true fact that they're just humans.

lol cheesy cheesy

Hotchyk:

A succesful marriage is 10% pre and 90% post, ie what you do during courtship and after the wedding. most partners show love to each other when they are still dating, only to grow cold to each other after the ceremony.Women,you need to see your husband as your son whose excesses you will condone, no matter how gross.
Men,the Bible says that 'hell has no fury as a woman scorned'. Learn to respect and love your wife.

That was Shakespeare not the Bible grin
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by netotse(m): 11:03am On Jun 22, 2009
ireke:

We often misuse that valuable irreplaceable time called courtship. Courtship is not a time to know how good our spouse will be in bed.

Don't just focus on the times when you asked and (s)he gave or yielded to your requests. Focus more on how (s)he deals with her/his siblings, how (s)he treats the waiter at the restaurant, the conductor/stranger in the bus and even her/his subordinates, colleagues and boss at work. If (s)he shows respect to them, (s)he will repsect you. If (s)he treats them with comtempt, it will be your turn one day when the love tan goes off your skin. How does (s)he behave when (s)he is angry? Take good note because it will be your turn one day. How does (s)he relate with people that you know that (s)he knows that you know that (s)he can't stand i.e. people (s)he hates? He will have a tendency to treat you like that in her/his down moments. Take good hints when he comments on movies or news items. Relax and study him well enough to know his philosophy about life.

Of course, shit does happen, but when it does, there is a kind of confidence that comes when you know that you have done your due diligence.

this is on point!. . .
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by rubi(f): 6:39pm On Jun 22, 2009
messiah:

Courtship is a period of deception where each partner puts up a facade in order to impress the other thereby masking the true fact that they're just humans.
I agree. Friendship is better than courtship that makes one vulnerable to each other
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by Theblessed(f): 11:52am On Jun 23, 2009
[b] Quite inappropriate question?  How about this?

How can a Man Understand his Wife After the Wedding?  This is how it should be, ok!

It's all too well to put pressure on women in marriage on how to understand their husbands/inlaws (African culture). What about men? What's wrong in them understanding their wives after the wedding, too?  It seems to me that this question applies to those off the shelf marriages - where BOY met GIRL in the street and got her married the next day without proper courtship thus, not knowing or understanding each other very well before jumping in with their HEADS. 

Modern marriages that worth it's GOLD do not operate this way at all. 
To start with, you've got to date each other for months if not years before plunging in, and there is no need in doing that HARD work after the wedding because it had already been done.

To that question I say it goes both ways, ok!  So, stop piling pressure on women to behave in fact, it's men that need that behaving not women because we understand our positions and roles.

Trouble starts when men ego gets the better of them and their controlling and abusing behaviours suddenly emerge that some of us would not condone, that's when katakata don come in the marriage and thus,the woman is labeled 'A  BAD WIFE'.[/b]
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by popegirl(f): 11:55am On Jun 23, 2009
just be prayerful
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by bestvera: 1:50am On Jun 24, 2009
endurance na d last bstop 4 marriage since d , line has being signed. though with patience and tolerance u can learn to understanding ur husband but e go take time
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by bestvera: 2:09am On Jun 24, 2009
In My opinion, don't try to understand him at all, JUST LOVE HIM
A good relationship is like a a good health, u will not know the value until u are ill.
and a successful MARIAGE is the One B/W a blind wife & a deaf Husband.


na curse if d wife blind d hubby deaf d marriage is dead because without understanding, it is like a soldier going to war without weapon shocked shocked shocked
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by bestvera: 2:30am On Jun 24, 2009
out of desperation some ladies no go wan hear, I DO, I DO b4 u know wetin dey happen water don pass garri
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by cystein(m): 7:07pm On Jun 26, 2009
A husband is just like a boyfriend the only thing is you cant part easy. I am one so i know what it takes. Keep ur wife well dear man!
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by Busta(f): 7:09pm On Jun 26, 2009
cystein:

A husband is just like a boyfriend the only thing is you cant part easy. I am one so i know what it takes. Keep ur wife well dear man!

true but then again, people tend to change alot after marriage.
they become someone else. . . Most cases, MONSTERS!
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by kelexworld(f): 8:16pm On Jun 26, 2009
But what really causes this changes both in the MEN and WOMEN after their vows?
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by cystein(m): 9:28pm On Jun 26, 2009
The rule is simple. Limit resources to your wife to avoid her despising others and men too don't chase little flowers out there. Ask your wife for whatever new tricks you want and instead splash out what you would spend on concubines on her. It balances the equation.!!
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by Nobody: 10:18pm On Jun 26, 2009
kelexworld:

But what really causes this changes both in the MEN and WOMEN after their vows?

If you figure it out, i'll be the first to buy your book grin
Re: How Can A Woman Understand Her Husband After Wedding? by kelexworld(f): 11:35pm On Jun 26, 2009
If you figure it out, i'll be the first to buy your book Grin


hahaha. its that complicated.

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