HIGHESTPOPORI:
You can make him feel better by replacing his Gf

MarieSucre:


I only advised him based on this post. In this POST I did not see anything about the woman sleeping in a strange man's house or the like, so apologise if I gave him incorrect advise without seeing the whole. As you can see I did tell him at the end of my post that if it does not work out he should seek closure or do you wear glasses.

Me advocating for op to give this particular woman attention who is also his woman does not equal me advocating for MEN not to get attention. Pls stay on the issue. I can't help it if you have comprehension issues.

The rest of what you wrote is trash that I can barely deign with a response.

From a white ass licking man slut like you. I laugh in Swahili.

Na your kind dey bring shame on Nigeria like that stupid Ideye Brown. What are you still doing replying me on this thread. why don't you go and prostitute yourself for your green card. If you go hard enough you might become white soon. mtchewww


scantee I thought she was not cheating on you but just having a crush. I didn't see it as something to throw away something you have invested in in. But if she is cheating in you, dan Allah don't look back, just walk away. The world is such a big place and no human is worth such continuous heartache . Run!

edit never ever EVER listen to olodo jomoh.

ariyike23:


lol..i cant be a rebound oo,so he can use me to cure his broken hart right?

ariyike23:


lol,yes.. ur heart is feeling beta naw? .

scantee:
Hello N'landers! Please i am very sorry to come up again with this my fiancee matter again, for those of you who might be familiar with my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2666138/want-call-off-marriage..i-feel concerning her attitudes will understand better.

Brief Intro: i met this girl some years back when she was still on 1st Semester 200L in one of the university in SE states, though we met in Lagos...we fell in love <fast forward> i wanted to marry her then but she said i should allow her finish her school before we can officially get married (she was 20yrs then) while i was in my mid 20tez as well, so i decided to wait since i am still young & not in a rush, we are like everything to each other, i introduced her to my entire family members, friends, relatives & work coliquez, i made them understand we would be getting married during or after her final year in school, we are in a distance relationship because my work takes me to places within & outside the country, we only spent time together only during her holidays (i.e after 4 months) practically all her friends knows about me though i never met them in person, we really love each other so much that people believe we are unbreakable...

To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year.

NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..

ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between them, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...

please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..

MarieSucre:


OP scantee pls I beg you. Ignore this jomoh fellow's advice infact throw it into a trash can till Jesus comes. You can see that he is also a "white people" worshipper and a bitter man. And I bet he is not even married or in a committed relationship.

Now to your issue.

This is one of the problems of long distance relationships. The physical side. Now I am not talking about sex, but the bonds that are formed with being in close proximity with each other. Its now even made harder with the fact that she is in a youth environment (university). Where all he needs to do is show her some attention and she starts having doubts, meanwhile all she is able to get most of the time from is your voice on the phone. Women like attention. Humans in general like attention. I will liken your situation to a child born into a family where the father is always on transfer or works on an offshore rig. He will bond more with uncles around his compound and in school than the father who is hardly ever around.

Now it is not your fault that you can't be with her as she would like, you guys are in different stages of your life. Marriage MIGHT harmonize that, but that is by the way. I am neither excusing her actions because she is in a committed relationship and if she had any misgivings about the relationship, she should have communicated with you. I am just trying to see her position. Communication, that is what I advice you to do now. Have a heart to heart with her now. Iron these issues. And if you have or can create breaks from works, spend it with her. Let her have your attention and not feel like she can get it from elsewhere.

Finally keep in mind that a lot of the guys on this forum(from their comments) are still in "sampling punanii" and "girls are bitchess" stage. You on the other hand are a responsible man who wants to get married. You can't run away from every problem or treat it like you're a teenager. Because that is what all that "make her jealous crap" is all about. Abi are you in secondary school? So communicate with her and try to make it work, if it doesn't then seek for closure. For both your sake, I hope it works. Goodluck scantee

hammary:
I kind of understand her, she may not know what's wrong with her but somebody needs to talk to her so she'll know who will b better for her. not that cos she's crushing she'll go for a guy that's not too good and will b regretting later, d guy may not truly b in love with her and she may not know. bro if time isn't on your side pray and move on, youll c someone better. she may learn and come back but u have to move on, keep your mind open... don't put your life on hold for somebody, there will b hundreds of good girls that will want to b with u. sorry

BiafranAvatar:
Bro...


Don't break up with her... She has her final year exams coming, its a great burden to her and plus maybe, some guys out there who knows that she's about to leave the camp are hell bent, maybe to date or to taste her honey pot (sorry for that)... Their pressure on her can make her call it a quit not cuz she wants it that way but she can't help it...


She really needs you now more than she ever did (she admitted that yes, she crushed/crushing on someone and she kinda laughed when you asked if she's tired of you)... She just wanted to get into you heard with that part —but, she's never tired of you but rather into you like never before...


You said after her final year is straight to marriage, even that thought of getting married alone could get her confused so I will advice you like someone earlier said, pay her a surprising visit... Take her out to a place with less activities and noise/movements...Talk sense into her... She might be thinking of you every nano second but can't call you due to her confusion but that doesn't mean she's no longer your Heartbeat!!!...



Finally, leaving her might break you both!!! And you might end up being the biggest loser, give the chance, we all deserve a second to endless chances...



She said and I quote based on your comments "Onat, you know that I can't stand you leaving me, please don't break my heart by breaking up with me!!!" She probably ended with saying "Onat, you know that I love you"...


P.$


Sorry for using Onat but that is what my girl calls me... It got a deep and confused meaning...



#LastShot...Scantee... MAKE UP WITH YOUR FINANCE!!!



Cc: Scantee

9japrof:
Scantee if there is anyway you can get your mail across to me, my email is doggedbb@yahoo.com

I want to send honest analysis with references of what I think would help you. it looks like a long epistle that's why I dont wanna bore this thread with it plus blunt and harsh statements I think I would direct towards you. It would be my last contribution on this love matter.

All our other discussions more especially on business section still remains intact.


.

jomoh:
She's broken up with you already.




Bro its time to move on. The earlier you did the earlier she realises what she lost.

potbelly:
Like i always say relationships should be symbiotic for it to work but from your statements it seems you are more into the relationship than the girl.
scantee, I know it can be painful based on the time, emotional and financial investments made. But truth be told, you need to gradually wean yourself off her.
Now the things you need to do:If you call her everyday before, stop doing that. try one a week, then once in two or three weeks. don't be quick to return her calls or msgs and don't be the first to initiate all the I love you talk. also don't give her too much attention as before (u can hang out with friends and have fun to keep your mind off her).If she notices these changes and she really cares about you and loves you she will behave herself and retrace her footsteps if she doesn't my brother its best you walk away.
Always remember a woman who doesn't give you peace of mind is not worth been on your mind.
P.s say hi to paul and kate (those twin dolphins you dey see everytime) when next you go to the coasts. Cheers mate!

scantee:
bro i understands u quite alright, my major concern here is that she seem to be confused about what she is doing as if she is under something, she is a different person when we are 2geda, we have issues mostly when she is school.

MarieSucre:


I only advised him based on this post. In this POST I did not see anything about the woman sleeping in a strange man's house or the like, so apologise if I gave him incorrect advise without seeing the whole. As you can see I did tell him at the end of my post that if it does not work out he should seek closure or do you wear glasses.

Me advocating for op to give this particular woman attention who is also his woman does not equal me advocating for MEN not to get attention. Pls stay on the issue. I can't help it if you have comprehension issues.

The rest of what you wrote is trash that I can barely deign with a response.

From a white ass licking man slut like you. I laugh in Swahili.

Na your kind dey bring shame on Nigeria like that stupid Ideye Brown. What are you still doing replying me on this thread. why don't you go and prostitute yourself for your green card. If you go hard enough you might become white soon. mtchewww


scantee I thought she was not cheating on you but just having a crush. I didn't see it as something to throw away something you have invested in in. But if she is cheating in you, dan Allah don't look back, just walk away. The world is such a big place and no human is worth such continuous heartache . Run!

edit never ever EVER listen to olodo jomoh.

Champella:


Chai! My boss, you still dey get carry-over on top this girl matter?


Na you cause am sha. You for just enter the transfer market sign plenty players. The likes of Portugal, France, Germany, etc have so many fine footballers.


The worst thing a man can do to himself is to let a woman call the shots in his life.


Lest i forget, she's not cheating on you. Those men around her are only coming to get wisdom and understanding from her.

Trunaijian:
You are putting too much pressure on her. If you really love her, there are some measures you must take. Though not easy, they are necessary
1. Call her less
2.Don ever call her friends and ask them to talk to her or narrate your ordeal.
3. If she asks you for anything, if you are disposed, give it to her and still maintain your infrequent communication.
4. Date another girl
As hard as the above measures may seem, they are to open your eyes to the reality of marriage. If she is gonna be yours, she will get back her senses and make up. Sometimes people get bored and tired of relationship. Not that they don't care, they just get bored. When you space yourselves, you will taste something different and realize what you have been missing or realize and value what you have. If she is yours, she will come back. You have fought for her already. Its left for her to choose.

scantee:
No i never said she is cheating on me, i meant her attidude lately and the suspense she is creating is making me think otherwise..

Naughtysite:

EPIC.

Paradise2015:
Guy pls this things do happen that is why will are human. The truth is that the girl loves U no matter how hard it may sound, for her to hv sacrificed herself 3yrs for u is not easy. U don't hv to leave her, but this is just a trailing period which u hv to defect. moreover nothing comes easy in life oh. For me I don't know the girl in question but I believe she hv got some qualities that hv kept u with her for three yrs. The only problem i see in ur relationship is just distance and from what U said she will finish her school this yrs and such problem will be over. Just find a way to see her and talk to her, make sure u are able to convince her of the future that U both hv and try showing her more love especially this period of time.

scantee:


this is not about beauty bro, is about making heart commitment already, the beautiful ones are not yet born, if you know me very well you will understand i can get any girl if i am into her, i don't look at girls base on beauty because i have seen it all.

MrOptimistic:
Be a man and stop calling her for a while. Even if she calls or text, don't respond for now. If u'v got the time, pay her a surprise visit. Tell her hw u feel and also hear her out. Let her tell you her true position regarding the relationship so you know where you stand.
I hope she is the sincere type. Many of them will continue playing on your emotion while on the search for "the best man". Whenn she finally gets one then she let go off you not minding pain she caused you. Pls be wise and act fast.

scantee:
wahoo ur pretty, thanx 2 you guyz i am very much better now, it was as if nothing happend after reading all the harsh comments here that made me strong, i am making a plan to go on short vacation, i just have to start a new life entirely, though she has been calling and calling, but the more she calls the more i hate her more. Once again thanx 2 u all.

Trunaijian:
You are putting too much pressure on her. If you really love her, there are some measures you must take. Though not easy, they are necessary
1. Call her less
2.Don ever call her friends and ask them to talk to her or narrate your ordeal.
3. If she asks you for anything, if you are disposed, give it to her and still maintain your infrequent communication.
4. Date another girl
As hard as the above measures may seem, they are to open your eyes to the reality of marriage. If she is gonna be yours, she will get back her senses and make up. Sometimes people get bored and tired of relationship. Not that they don't care, they just get bored. When you space yourselves, you will taste something different and realize what you have been missing or realize and value what you have. If she is yours, she will come back. You have fought for her already. Its left for her to choose.

ariyike23:


im glad that u are beta now.. mind you,dont hate her ,hating some1 is bad for ur health and mind

scantee:
Hello N'landers! Please i am very sorry to come up again with this my fiancee matter again, for those of you who might be familiar with my previous threads https://www.nairaland.com/2666138/want-call-off-marriage..i-feel concerning her attitudes will understand better.

Brief Intro: i met this girl some years back when she was still on 1st Semester 200L in one of the university in SE states, though we met in Lagos...we fell in love <fast forward> i wanted to marry her then but she said i should allow her finish her school before we can officially get married (she was 20yrs then) while i was in my mid 20tez as well, so i decided to wait since i am still young & not in a rush, we are like everything to each other, i introduced her to my entire family members, friends, relatives & work coliquez, i made them understand we would be getting married during or after her final year in school, we are in a distance relationship because my work takes me to places within & outside the country, we only spent time together only during her holidays (i.e after 4 months) practically all her friends knows about me though i never met them in person, we really love each other so much that people believe we are unbreakable...

To shortened the story..we spent time together in Lagos last xmas before she traveled for new year..while i stayed back in Lagos, & we have agreed that we would be getting married this being her final year in school, i noticed that since she left for the new year celebration in her village our communication declined so much, she hardly called or pick my calls, when i complained she attributed that to a bad network in the village where she went to spend some days with her friend that was getting married that last year.

NOW SHE IS BACK TO SCHOOL..the same thing is still happning, she does not give me much attention again, hardly called, if i called she will claim to be so tired having hectic day in school, so i got tired of everyting yesterday when i called her she did'nt pick my call rather she text me that is was very busy & will call me back when she is done, after 2hrs no call back i decided to call her back & her number was busy, after she done making her call she picked my & said she was on call with her sister, i asked what she was doing that kept her busy from 8;30pm -10:30pm she said she was ironing & cooking. I felt unconvinced i asked her are you tired of me? She said yes & laughed, i was shocked, i ask her why, she said she can't even explain it herself, i then ask..

ARE U SEEING SOME ELSE OR HAVING CRUSH ON ANY GUY? She said yes that it started last year, the guy use to come visit her in her hostel, but now she has lost contact with the guy, though nothing has ever happend between them, i felt like i was dreaming because i can swear for this girl that she can never do such...she said though she declined the guys proposal to date him because she does not see the possibility of it happning. Now i fell betrayed after all these years of waiting even when some friends adviced me against it, i have lost the trust in her, right now i feel so hurt, she pleaded that she don't even understand what is happning to her that she is confused, she then said she just feel like being left alone to concentrate in her final year project...

please i feel so sad right now because i put all my egg in one basket in the name of love, my imagination is just going wild about her right now, i have lost apitite for food & loosing concentration, i so much love & trust her. Please how do i overcome this now? help me..

scantee:
no i am not hating on her, we spoke few mins ago, the tune of my voice passed the message across to her, she has been uncomfortable trying to figure out why i sound casual/official as if i am talking to a business partner. I saw her sister moniker viewing this thread yesterday, i guess she might have briefed her...

jomoh:



You see yourself. Whipping you back to your senses is not such a bad idea or is it?


I believe you're "educated". Kindly put your education into use by reading the first paragraph (if you know what it means) of the story. The OP already made a reference to his previous complaint.


Talking about comprehension, you have to be able read before you can comprehend. I doubt you can read properly cos if you can you won't have made the mistake you did. They say "illiteracy is a disease" but I say "half education is dangerous". I wonder what your score in WAEC english comprehension would've been.


You made a mistake by using your half education to insult me. Instead of you to own up and apologise you still went ahead to insult me. Once again putting your half education on full display.


Once again honey, go back and read the other threads. This time around try and deduce where the white girl issue came to play. This time around take into consideration his past foreign trips.



BTW MarieSugar let's put aside our differences and call a truce.

I love your Moniker

But why does the mention of a white girl irk you so much?

scantee:
Cc: @Annais Sis ur attention is needed here o @9Japrof..

ariyike23:



its all good,jes give urself a break frm all these heart issues.. lol,they are really stressful,thats why i am dating myself,its too stressful trying to fulfill the needs(emotional nd odas) of someone who wuldnt even move a foot for u. she may adjust,u guys may still reconcile buh dont force it.

kaziblake:
I'm sorry to say this but you still have slave mentality.
Pls go and marry the white girl you are advocating for.

Champella:



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