Honestly, I never thought of my parents to be over-protective, until I spent a few days at a friend's house. It was then I realized that I've never been allowed to enjoy my teenage years and emancipate myself. I'm 20+ and in my final year in the University, but my parents (especially my dad), are extremely controlling. Apart from the constant phone calls, they still treat me like I'm a five year old. My dad hardly ever let's me drive, and even told me that he feels embarrassed if neighbors see me driving. The best I can do in this regard is to sometimes "steal" the car. Also, they are both obsessed with what other parents think about their parenting skills. Everytime we have visitors or we visit someone, he always tries to speak to me harshly as if trying to show off his strictness to other parents. I feel so disrespected and trapped. While other parents of my friends allow their kids drive, give them responsibilities, and a certain sense of freedom, I stuck with these helicopter parents that are always hovering over my life trying as much as possible to make me not to have any form of independence. I'm really beginning to hate them. Please what can I do abt this?

Welcome to my world

U cant do anything bou it till u old enof to b living independentely so ryt now all u need do is endure like me

Let me stay here and think of how I've been trying to solve my own.

My mum once saw the long time I spent on nairaland and said Seun is using witch-craft on NL...
Imagine
She'd even go ahead to say browsing for long is a sign that someone is witch-crafted

I'm trying all my best to be totally independent at my young age and I just hope and pray that Oluwa would pick my call one day.

BTW,enjoy me and Sickstar's world

OP, you don't have a problem., different methods, different rules, different homes.

Make sure you graduate with a good result if not that house will be a living hell for you.

I have seen a similar case.

You talked most about driving a car..... Let me zero in on that aspect.

There is this guy in my neighborhood, an only child in his mid 20's. He recently finished NYSC and got a job few months after.

His dad has about 3 cars but he has never washed any of those cars, talk more of seating on the drivers seat, starting the engine and driving. At such he never learned how to drive.
His dad never really allowed him access to the cars like you would expect an only child to enjoy. The dad will tell him to fetch water and keep for washing the cars, while he do the washing himself.
You wouldn't be too wrong to say he feels distant from his parents.

So my dear are you not better off in that aspect.

As for my friend.... He is saving a part of his salary and seriously looking for a house (self con) far from where his parents stay.

I will suggest you man up to your parents and tell them you don't like how they are treating, because if you never do that, they ain't stopping because to them they are doing what is best for you.

Pls and pls again don't tell me you are dependent on your parents for some of your little needs... Begin to involve in small legal hustles that will put money in your pocket, take care of some of your own little needs, sometimes buy things that will be of use to everyone in the house, take up responsibilities in organizations or groups that you are member to. Get a decent social life pls. Don't leave in a shell. The society won't give you that special treatment your parents are fencing you with.

(my friend had several leadership position during his uni days and nysc. When his parents got to see his pics as a leader or got phone calls from relatives that they saw their son's pics of being lifted up or congratulatory messages for contested post he won, they were dumbfounded because they didn't know he had such boldness)
My friend never relied on his dad to connect him to a job but walked the streets and surfed the Internet searching for jobs and thank God he got one after few months.

Above all pray don't rebel but handle it with wisdom. Others have had worse experience.

Plus God is your best friend, bro and sis if you have none.... When the feeling hurts so badly pls feel free to cry to him, tell him to look upon you and give you the strength to endure for the main time you are still with your parents.
Pray also to him to provide a friend to you that will heal the wound circumstances has confronted you with. My friend prays for a wife that will be a friend and sister to him.

And pls never entertain the thoughts of treating your parents bad in their old age. No pls don't.
My friends prayer every now and then is for the well being of his parents.

I think this post is FP worthy. Lalasticala

The poster above me has spoken well

The poster above the poster above me has spoken well

#wisdom


Lalasticlala oya take over...

XieXie:
I have seen a similar case.

You talked most about driving a car..... Let me zero in on that aspect.

There is this guy in my neighborhood, an only child in his mid 20's. He recently finished NYSC and got a job few months after.

His dad has about 3 cars but he has never washed any of those cars, talk more of seating on the drivers seat, starting the engine and driving. At such he never learned how to drive.
His dad never really allowed him access to the cars like you would expect an only child to enjoy. The dad will tell him to fetch water and keep for washing the cars, while he do the washing himself.
You wouldn't be too wrong to say he feels distant from his parents.

So my dear are you not better off in that aspect.

As for my friend.... He is saving a part of his salary and seriously looking for a house (self con) far from where his parents stay.

I will suggest you man up to your parents and tell them you don't like how they are treating, because if you never do that, they ain't stopping because to them they are doing what is best for you.

Pls and pls again don't tell me you are dependent on your parents for some of your little needs... Begin to involve in small legal hustles that will put money in your pocket, take care of some of your own little needs, sometimes buy things that will be of use to everyone in the house, take up responsibilities in organizations or groups that you are member to. Get a decent social life pls. Don't leave in a shell. The society won't give you that special treatment your parents are fencing you with.

(my friend had several leadership position during his uni days and nysc. When his parents got to see his pics as a leader or got phone calls from relatives that they saw their son's pics of being lifted up or congratulatory messages for contested post he won, they were dumbfounded because they didn't know he had such boldness)
My friend never relied on his dad to connect him to a job but walked the streets and surfed the Internet searching for jobs and thank God he got one after few months.

Above all pray don't rebel but handle it with wisdom. Others have had worse experience.

Plus God is your best friend, bro and sis if you have none.... When the feeling hurts so badly pls feel free to cry to him, tell him to look upon you and give you the strength to endure for the main time you are still with your parents.
Pray also to him to provide a friend to you that will heal the wound circumstances has confronted you with. My friend prays for a wife that will be a friend and sister to him.

And pls never entertain the thoughts of treating your parents bad in their old age. No pls don't.
My friends prayer every now and then is for the well being of his parents.

I think this post is FP worthy. Lalasticala

Thank you very much for this great reply. The funny thing is, my brothers and I are quite well behaved and have never given them any problems. That is why I regret not being troublesome, because most of my more outspokenfriends have parents who treat them with far more respect and independence because of their being quite rebellious. Isn't it ironic?

My grandma still asks me to pull my clothes off so that she can bathe me

Parents are like that sometimes. Whenever they look at you, they see the little boy they once had.

Calm down

What they see while sitting, you can't see while standing.

We most times suddenly feel they don't know much cos of the generational shift.

If you want to drive a car, buy yours.

To become a man, you have to be independent financially and see your mum& dad respect you.

Swap place with a young man whose parents live in the rail-line area of mushin. After one week of having a feel of that freedom you seek, you'd understand better, and maybe run back to give your parents a warm hug for the protection they gave, which other young men didn't get.

Talk it out with them. Take them by surprise by doing things challenging without their knowledge and show them the results. With time and firmness they will give you some brisk opportunities and space.

The day a child decides all adults are idiots he becomes an adolescent.

The day he forgives them he becomes an adult like them.

When I bought my car, I realised I couldn't call Daddy to come drive for me. I have my own wife and kids. Mommy is not the one running my home.

I am in my forties now.

Read between the lines OP. I'd be patient if I were you.

Thanks.

Start by being stubborn.

Just passiN

OK let me tell u something, u see the last statement u made, the one dat says, I quote "I am beginning to hate them"


when you see both of your parents again, let them know you are beginning to hate them because of their insecurity......


It's very right to let dem know, for crying out loud you are not a kid....

Wait! Keeep complaining until u get pregnant or fall into deep shit! I dey laff!

.

.

Omg!! this one na original End Time Child...

Xiexie has spoken well

But I promise you that you will not regret it at last. Its for your owngood my son. maybe when you have your own children, you give them free hand and see where it will land them to

Prove you are more than just a liability, and don't bother talking back at them . They'd always find a way to place the blame on you, either by accusing you of being disrespectful or by piecing together things that are not even related.

First step - move out of the house.

After all you are 18+. You can always go rent a small apartment.
You'd have all the freedom & space you crave.

Disown them

Hmmmmm

home upbringing differ. hope you're a responsible man afterall.

Be happy you have them, just remember Charley Boy is somebody's father

disown them and come and live with me,na dat time you go hear weeeeeeen