HARDDON:


It is either the guy pays her bills( most probable) had an attractive/scary spell ( gud in bed, axe man( she wsno change) etc) on her, he's her first luv, she's plain naive or he has most of d qualities she luvs in a man.

You have to find out exactly why she stayed put all this while. Very important if you are to make a head way n also for your safety.

Amaterasu:




Thanks a lot for this thoughts. The first question I ask her when I realised my facebook account has been blocked was if this guy has been spending money on her; she strongly said nothing like that, that her 250k is even with d guy as a result of "mmm (mavrodi)" business. My guess is: your second thought is her problem: THE GUY IS HER FIRST LUV......and I have observed this girl is a love bird that always crave for attention, she call me everyday....she doesnt care spending on you and calling you with her airtime even though she is still a student; she doesnt think like the average "red eyed" street girl. I think this Adolf Hitler guy is capitalizing on these loop holes /weakness.

My interaction with her shows that d guy has been scaring guys and male friends away from this pretty damsel. She even said maybe that's Y she has not met anybody like me since then; that she has lost friends because of this guy......And it irritating me when she mentions or compares me with this guy trying to hype my matured approach against his childish/forceful behavior (my brain would be like why re u still dying there madam)

What I'm contemplating now is whether to take forceful steps ahead in helping her by defining my stand and being a bit hard....or thread softly and let things gradually unfold.
As for my safety, I don't have an issue there "the guy nor reach", to me he is a small boy.

realpoacher:



I will be very blunt with you. There is nothing you can do for her to dump the guy for you.

Reason:
She has "FELT" the guy's pain/sweetness over time coupled with him being her first love for so long that she has been caught in his spurned web. In a nutshell, she has crossed the Rubicon - a stage of no return.

Forget about what she tells you. Right now she is not in control of her emotions, the guy is actually(even though she doesn't know this or will not admit it, but her actions are obviously telling the true story).
As a matter of fact, she is actually using you to pass time and will always run along when daddy(her boyfriend) comes calling. Even if she breaks up with the guy, your paroles with her won't work. No matter what you do or don't do it won't work. In gamers word... The guy don press her MUMU button.


Only feasible solution:
From my experience, the only person who can save her from the guy is She herself by herself. Whenever she reaches her saturation point only then will she break free from his spell and begin to view the world through her own eyes. That is when she can be free. Even after that, she will need enough time to heal first before you can begin to date her.

*Remember that she has to reach that saturation point only on her own Accord. Devoid of your interference. In order words, do nothing to help her rather do everything to help yourself,like becoming very selfish in all things*

My advice:
Forget her for now and move ahead. But if she always comes around you or call you, relate very well with her but drop all these Mr Nice Guy attitudes and be very firm. If you have the opportunity fuucck her well and be emotionless about it. Whatever you do henceforth, do not prioritize her and go get other girls worth your attention. Careless about her paroles with the other guy, infact refuse to listen to his gist anymore.

I didn't say that you should be rude o! Or that you should start giving attitude like a sulking adult baby o!... I said maintain normal paroles with her, laugh, play and crack jokes but be firm with what you want, drop Mr nice guy attitudes, zero her from your mind that this can't work and go find someone else for yourself.

If in between things work out fine for the you two fast.. Fine! But if not... Fine too!... All that matters is that you won't babysitting an adult who doesn't know what is good for her.

My humble two cents

realpoacher:



I will be very blunt with you. There is nothing you can do for her to dump the guy for you.

Reason:
She has "FELT" the guy's pain/sweetness over time coupled with him being her first love for so long that she has been caught in his spurned web. In a nutshell, she has crossed the Rubicon - a stage of no return.

Forget about what she tells you. Right now she is not in control of her emotions, the guy is actually(even though she doesn't know this or will not admit it, but her actions are obviously telling the true story).
As a matter of fact, she is actually using you to pass time and will always run along when daddy(her boyfriend) comes calling. Even if she breaks up with the guy, your paroles with her won't work. No matter what you do or don't do it won't work. In gamers word... The guy don press her MUMU button.


Only feasible solution:
From my experience, the only person who can save her from the guy is She herself by herself. Whenever she reaches her saturation point only then will she break free from his spell and begin to view the world through her own eyes. That is when she can be free. Even after that, she will need enough time to heal first before you can begin to date her.

*Remember that she has to reach that saturation point only on her own Accord. Devoid of your interference. In order words, do nothing to help her rather do everything to help yourself,like becoming very selfish in all things*

My advice:
Forget her for now and move ahead. But if she always comes around you or call you, relate very well with her but drop all these Mr Nice Guy attitudes and be very firm. If you have the opportunity fuucck her well and be emotionless about it. Whatever you do henceforth, do not prioritize her and go get other girls worth your attention. Careless about her paroles with the other guy, infact refuse to listen to his gist anymore.

I didn't say that you should be rude o! Or that you should start giving attitude like a sulking adult baby o!... I said maintain normal paroles with her, laugh, play and crack jokes but be firm with what you want, drop Mr nice guy attitudes, zero her from your mind that this can't work and go find someone else for yourself.

If in between things work out fine for the you two fast.. Fine! But if not... Fine too!... All that matters is that you won't babysitting an adult who doesn't know what is good for her.

My humble two cents

realpoacher:



I will be very blunt with you. There is nothing you can do for her to dump the guy for you.

Reason:
She has "FELT" the guy's pain/sweetness over time coupled with him being her first love for so long that she has been caught in his spurned web. In a nutshell, she has crossed the Rubicon - a stage of no return.

Forget about what she tells you. Right now she is not in control of her emotions, the guy is actually(even though she doesn't know this or will not admit it, but her actions are obviously telling the true story).
As a matter of fact, she is actually using you to pass time and will always run along when daddy(her boyfriend) comes calling. Even if she breaks up with the guy, your paroles with her won't work. No matter what you do or don't do it won't work. In gamers word... The guy don press her MUMU button.


Only feasible solution:
From my experience, the only person who can save her from the guy is She herself by herself. Whenever she reaches her saturation point only then will she break free from his spell and begin to view the world through her own eyes. That is when she can be free. Even after that, she will need enough time to heal first before you can begin to date her.

*Remember that she has to reach that saturation point only on her own Accord. Devoid of your interference. In order words, do nothing to help her rather do everything to help yourself,like becoming very selfish in all things*

My advice:
Forget her for now and move ahead. But if she always comes around you or call you, relate very well with her but drop all these Mr Nice Guy attitudes and be very firm. If you have the opportunity fuucck her well and be emotionless about it. Whatever you do henceforth, do not prioritize her and go get other girls worth your attention. Careless about her paroles with the other guy, infact refuse to listen to his gist anymore.

I didn't say that you should be rude o! Or that you should start giving attitude like a sulking adult baby o!... I said maintain normal paroles with her, laugh, play and crack jokes but be firm with what you want, drop Mr nice guy attitudes, zero her from your mind that this can't work and go find someone else for yourself.

If in between things work out fine for the you two fast.. Fine! But if not... Fine too!... All that matters is that you won't babysitting an adult who doesn't know what is good for her.

My humble two cents

realpoacher:



I will be very blunt with you. There is nothing you can do for her to dump the guy for you.

Reason:
She has "FELT" the guy's pain/sweetness over time coupled with him being her first love for so long that she has been caught in his spurned web. In a nutshell, she has crossed the Rubicon - a stage of no return.

Forget about what she tells you. Right now she is not in control of her emotions, the guy is actually(even though she doesn't know this or will not admit it, but her actions are obviously telling the true story).
As a matter of fact, she is actually using you to pass time and will always run along when daddy(her boyfriend) comes calling. Even if she breaks up with the guy, your paroles with her won't work. No matter what you do or don't do it won't work. In gamers word... The guy don press her MUMU button.


Only feasible solution:
From my experience, the only person who can save her from the guy is She herself by herself. Whenever she reaches her saturation point only then will she break free from his spell and begin to view the world through her own eyes. That is when she can be free. Even after that, she will need enough time to heal first before you can begin to date her.

*Remember that she has to reach that saturation point only on her own Accord. Devoid of your interference. In order words, do nothing to help her rather do everything to help yourself,like becoming very selfish in all things*

My advice:
Forget her for now and move ahead. But if she always comes around you or call you, relate very well with her but drop all these Mr Nice Guy attitudes and be very firm. If you have the opportunity fuucck her well and be emotionless about it. Whatever you do henceforth, do not prioritize her and go get other girls worth your attention. Careless about her paroles with the other guy, infact refuse to listen to his gist anymore.

I didn't say that you should be rude o! Or that you should start giving attitude like a sulking adult baby o!... I said maintain normal paroles with her, laugh, play and crack jokes but be firm with what you want, drop Mr nice guy attitudes, zero her from your mind that this can't work and go find someone else for yourself.

If in between things work out fine for the you two fast.. Fine! But if not... Fine too!... All that matters is that you won't babysitting an adult who doesn't know what is good for her.

My humble two cents

DOCTOR90:
hello guys, there is dis girl,dat ve b given green light,wen i approach we talked,then d next day she started acting as she dnt knw me,wat should i do guys

realpoacher:



I will be very blunt with you. There is nothing you can do for her to dump the guy for you.

Reason:
She has "FELT" the guy's pain/sweetness over time coupled with him being her first love for so long that she has been caught in his spurned web. In a nutshell, she has crossed the Rubicon - a stage of no return.

Forget about what she tells you. Right now she is not in control of her emotions, the guy is actually(even though she doesn't know this or will not admit it, but her actions are obviously telling the true story).
As a matter of fact, she is actually using you to pass time and will always run along when daddy(her boyfriend) comes calling. Even if she breaks up with the guy, your paroles with her won't work. No matter what you do or don't do it won't work. In gamers word... The guy don press her MUMU button.


Only feasible solution:
From my experience, the only person who can save her from the guy is She herself by herself. Whenever she reaches her saturation point only then will she break free from his spell and begin to view the world through her own eyes. That is when she can be free. Even after that, she will need enough time to heal first before you can begin to date her.

*Remember that she has to reach that saturation point only on her own Accord. Devoid of your interference. In order words, do nothing to help her rather do everything to help yourself,like becoming very selfish in all things*

My advice:
Forget her for now and move ahead. But if she always comes around you or call you, relate very well with her but drop all these Mr Nice Guy attitudes and be very firm. If you have the opportunity fuucck her well and be emotionless about it. Whatever you do henceforth, do not prioritize her and go get other girls worth your attention. Careless about her paroles with the other guy, infact refuse to listen to his gist anymore.

I didn't say that you should be rude o! Or that you should start giving attitude like a sulking adult baby o!... I said maintain normal paroles with her, laugh, play and crack jokes but be firm with what you want, drop Mr nice guy attitudes, zero her from your mind that this can't work and go find someone else for yourself.

If in between things work out fine for the you two fast.. Fine! But if not... Fine too!... All that matters is that you won't babysitting an adult who doesn't know what is good for her.

My humble two cents

fayded:
okay,so I'll just go straight to the point.I have a girl that I'm having sex with,and I'm the one she lost her virginity to,she is 19 and I'm 22.she is my junior colleague,both medical students.
her brother is my good friend(yea,bro code,I know).
He actually knows about us,but he kinda doesn't say anything.my point is this,I like this girl,I really do and I know she feels the same way,but funny enough none of us have been able to ask the "what are we" question.
I don't want to do it first, because I don't want her to know that I actually have feelings for her,I'm trying so hard to hide it.
she tells me about the guys that chyke her(we stay in d same lodge,her room is just opposite mine),also I see guys that come to visit her and how she turns them down.she tells me everything they say to her and we just make fun of em.I get angry and jealous when I see guys talking to her but I don't show it.I don't want her to see that part of me
she describes herself as this "old-fashioned" girl,who believes in the guy making the first move,but I don't want to make the first move.due to
-I don't want her to think I'm more in love or something
-I don't know whether if we start dating,things will change and go awry.
-I don't want to get emotionally down(everyone knows that emotion and MBBS don't work together).
-I've always shown her this tough side..she always see me as this geeky unemotional guy..if I propose now,she might see me as soft..
so guys,abeg advice me on what to do,everly ,I know say bashing go still dey,but make una carry on.
now fast forward to yesterday,for the past one week,she has denied me sex.I'm not saying that its my right,but she allows us to kiss and make out but not sex.I think she is trying to test me or something and I want to be the alpha male.
so what do I do.
HARDDON,realpoacher,others abeg advice needed

Japhet04:
wow this is my exact predicament

Japhet04:
wow this is my exact predicament

fayded:
okay,so I'll just go straight to the point.I have a girl that I'm having sex with,and I'm the one she lost her virginity to,she is 19 and I'm 22.she is my junior colleague,both medical students.
her brother is my good friend(yea,bro code,I know).
He actually knows about us,but he kinda doesn't say anything.my point is this,I like this girl,I really do and I know she feels the same way,but funny enough none of us have been able to ask the "what are we" question.
I don't want to do it first, because I don't want her to know that I actually have feelings for her,I'm trying so hard to hide it.
she tells me about the guys that chyke her(we stay in d same lodge,her room is just opposite mine),also I see guys that come to visit her and how she turns them down.she tells me everything they say to her and we just make fun of em.I get angry and jealous when I see guys talking to her but I don't show it.I don't want her to see that part of me
she describes herself as this "old-fashioned" girl,who believes in the guy making the first move,but I don't want to make the first move.due to
-I don't want her to think I'm more in love or something
-I don't know whether if we start dating,things will change and go awry.
-I don't want to get emotionally down(everyone knows that emotion and MBBS don't work together).
-I've always shown her this tough side..she always see me as this geeky unemotional guy..if I propose now,she might see me as soft..
so guys,abeg advice me on what to do,everly ,I know say bashing go still dey,but make una carry on.
now fast forward to yesterday,for the past one week,she has denied me sex.I'm not saying that its my right,but she allows us to kiss and make out but not sex.I think she is trying to test me or something and I want to be the alpha male.
so what do I do.
HARDDON,realpoacher,others abeg advice needed

fayded:


lolz.so what do u suggest we do,abi what have u done about it

magikalz:


You have done so well, so far....why do you want to spoil this good job you have been doing.

QUICK QUESTION: Do you plan to marry her in the very near future?

I will suggest you continue as you are doing. If she denies you sex, find a way to turn it around on her. You could make teasing comments about it...use reverse psychology.

Show care and attention when due but please know where and when to draw the line.

Believe you me, the day you finally define whatever you guys have, that's the day both of you will start displaying emotions - positive and negative and often times than not, one or both of you will lose it.

Focus more on your education as you said, MBBS no be beans.....continue to play cool with this babe and enjoy what she offers codedly.

You feel the brother is not commenting on your matter with her but he's watching you, man.

If the gal decides to define what you have with her, it's her business.

Do not capitulate despite all the pressure to start professing your pent-up love. It will spoil things if you don't handle it well later on.

You know why?

Once you confess and define a relationship.....expectations and unnecessary responsibilities will come up.

Your easy friendship and knacking will start suffering. The kpomo she is giving you so freely will not be so free anymore.

I don tire to type abeg.

My take is just continue to play it cool....too much banging of one gal wey no be your wife dey cause unnecessary emotional attachment.

Meet other new gals to avoid this emotional shyte you are feeling...the time for am never reach.

Cheers!

DavidTheGeek:

Hey gee!

What you have going on is nice. Why do you want to ruin it?

If you make things official, in the long run the attraction will wear off, you'll lose your charm, you'll relax and that needy side of yours that you're hiding will be exposed, she'll lose interest and dump you.

You don't need her permission to be her boyfriend. The fact is you're her boyfriend already.

So just keep the relationship going the way it is.

If you really like her cuz she's a wife material, engage her in talks about your (you and her) future. Say things like how she'll give birth to 8 twin babes for you... ask her to imagine you guys as husband and wife.. let her tell you her imaginations.

Use the future talks wisely. Don't just confess your heart out to her.

Using future talks will solidify your position as her unofficial boyfriend. She'll know you're ok with you two being together, so she won't feel like you're just using her to jerk cool off.

magikalz:


You have done so well, so far....why do you want to spoil this good job you have been doing.

QUICK QUESTION: Do you plan to marry her in the very near future?

I will suggest you continue as you are doing. If she denies you sex, find a way to turn it around on her. You could make teasing comments about it...use reverse psychology.

Show care and attention when due but please know where and when to draw the line.

Believe you me, the day you finally define whatever you guys have, that's the day both of you will start displaying emotions - positive and negative and often times than not, one or both of you will lose it.

Focus more on your education as you said, MBBS no be beans.....continue to play cool with this babe and enjoy what she offers codedly.

You feel the brother is not commenting on your matter with her but he's watching you, man.

If the gal decides to define what you have with her, it's her business.

Do not capitulate despite all the pressure to start professing your pent-up love. It will spoil things if you don't handle it well later on.

You know why?

Once you confess and define a relationship.....expectations and unnecessary responsibilities will come up.

Your easy friendship and knacking will start suffering. The kpomo she is giving you so freely will not be so free anymore.

I don tire to type abeg.

My take is just continue to play it cool....too much banging of one gal wey no be your wife dey cause unnecessary emotional attachment.

Meet other new gals to avoid this emotional shyte you are feeling...the time for am never reach.

Cheers!

DavidTheGeek:

Hey gee!

What you have going on is nice. Why do you want to ruin it?

If you make things official, in the long run the attraction will wear off, you'll lose your charm, you'll relax and that needy side of yours that you're hiding will be exposed, she'll lose interest and dump you.

You don't need her permission to be her boyfriend. The fact is you're her boyfriend already.

So just keep the relationship going the way it is.

If you really like her cuz she's a wife material, engage her in talks about your (you and her) future. Say things like how she'll give birth to 8 twin babes for you... ask her to imagine you guys as husband and wife.. let her tell you her imaginations.

Use the future talks wisely. Don't just confess your heart out to her.

Using future talks will solidify your position as her unofficial boyfriend. She'll know you're ok with you two being together, so she won't feel like you're just using her to jerk cool off.

magikalz:
Gee, see as our minds just dey run parallel. These women don teach man lesson. If you haven't been bitten severally, you will never learn. We go dey alright.

Theflint1:
Boss I'm in a situation quite similar to this.

In my case, the guy is the girls first love and even though he didn't contact her for like 6 months, she's still very much in love with the guy or stupid about him. Before he called during the 6 month non-calling spell, she had almost agreed we start dating and as soon as he called, everything changed again.

I bleeped up one time (be wan chop meat before e don) and she still cites that as a reason why she doesnt't trust me entirely but I think that's but a tiny part of the issue. The main issue here is her first love who still wields a vice-like grip over her heart.

What's the way out boss, what should I do?

realpoacher:



I will be very blunt with you. There is nothing you can do for her to dump the guy for you.

Reason:
She has "FELT" the guy's pain/sweetness over time coupled with him being her first love for so long that she has been caught in his spurned web. In a nutshell, she has crossed the Rubicon - a stage of no return.

Forget about what she tells you. Right now she is not in control of her emotions, the guy is actually(even though she doesn't know this or will not admit it, but her actions are obviously telling the true story).
As a matter of fact, she is actually using you to pass time and will always run along when daddy(her boyfriend) comes calling. Even if she breaks up with the guy, your paroles with her won't work. No matter what you do or don't do it won't work. In gamers word... The guy don press her MUMU button.


Only feasible solution:
From my experience, the only person who can save her from the guy is She herself by herself. Whenever she reaches her saturation point only then will she break free from his spell and begin to view the world through her own eyes. That is when she can be free. Even after that, she will need enough time to heal first before you can begin to date her.

*Remember that she has to reach that saturation point only on her own Accord. Devoid of your interference. In order words, do nothing to help her rather do everything to help yourself,like becoming very selfish in all things*

My advice:
Forget her for now and move ahead. But if she always comes around you or call you, relate very well with her but drop all these Mr Nice Guy attitudes and be very firm. If you have the opportunity fuucck her well and be emotionless about it. Whatever you do henceforth, do not prioritize her and go get other girls worth your attention. Careless about her paroles with the other guy, infact refuse to listen to his gist anymore.

I didn't say that you should be rude o! Or that you should start giving attitude like a sulking adult baby o!... I said maintain normal paroles with her, laugh, play and crack jokes but be firm with what you want, drop Mr nice guy attitudes, zero her from your mind that this can't work and go find someone else for yourself.

If in between things work out fine for the you two fast.. Fine! But if not... Fine too!... All that matters is that you won't babysitting an adult who doesn't know what is good for her.

My humble two cents

Oludrex:
@harddon and ballers in the house, have you ever fallen in love since you understand the game... if yes kindly share your experience

HARDDON:


This is no Game. It is a way of life of the superior man. Every game eventually comes to an end n bliv u me, when u get tired n decide to hang your boots, that is when d law of retribution sets in n tiny lil ones soft bones start punching you on ur old lane! Then u get irritated, locate n don ur playing boots again N da circle continues.

That said,
We aint made of silicon like Siri: So Yes , we do fall in luv. We flow lines n rhymes even sing to her sometimes, We cud make her brkfast in bed, take her to d bathroom give her her warm bath, help shave her down below( yea, we like it totally clean... winks), take her out to exotic places within our pockets, we spend some quality time with her( chats, calls, physical etc).
The diffrence btw us n average guys in these terrain is that : we dont let emotions/Jrod to dictate our lives. We never get clingy n needy. Infact, we never give them complete seat. The more we luv her, the less seat space we give her. Keep her in check n on her toes.
We cud be rolling on hay one moment, the next we act like she doenst even exist. We create calculated situation that generate heated arguments sometimes just because we miss make up fvck ( oops!) n to push her ova d brim to talk. Silent , peaceful r/ship aint kul. You wud neva get to know each other n bond beyond s3x.

We know where n when to draw d lines. We take up our balls n direct d relationship gallantly. She does anything we dont like, we call her our soundly wit no delay.
We know the different btw singing luv n actually showing luv in the lil daily acts, things that makes her sware her life to us.
We never let fun jab out of our lives. We always sprinkle us.
Average guys get to a point, after labelling d r/ship, they go monitoring her every move, gettinG stuffy n not giving her breathing space. Getting too serious n losing d fun touch. Trying to instil d fear thingy in her heart. Doesnt work.

We know how to punish in different ways( using d d1ck, attention starvation, ignoring, raising our voice in calculated deep decibels, walking out on her, dropping d call on her, not eating her fud, denying her s3x etc.... )
these are not for d feint hearts lover boys


We do things cos we wano, not cos we r shrewdly cajoled to.

In summary, we know how to bring d rain when necessary n how to balance it off with sun shyne smile.

Dare to try! We are no mere men!

DavidTheGeek:

Hey gee!

What you have going on is nice. Why do you want to ruin it?

If you make things official, in the long run the attraction will wear off, you'll lose your charm, you'll relax and that needy side of yours that you're hiding will be exposed, she'll lose interest and dump you.

You don't need her permission to be her boyfriend. The fact is you're her boyfriend already.

So just keep the relationship going the way it is.

If you really like her cuz she's a wife material, engage her in talks about your (you and her) future. Say things like how she'll give birth to 8 twin babes for you... ask her to imagine you guys as husband and wife.. let her tell you her imaginations.

Use the future talks wisely. Don't just confess your heart out to her.

Using future talks will solidify your position as her unofficial boyfriend. She'll know you're ok with you two being together, so she won't feel like you're just using her to jerk cool off.

magikalz:


You have done so well, so far....why do you want to spoil this good job you have been doing.

QUICK QUESTION: Do you plan to marry her in the very near future?

I will suggest you continue as you are doing. If she denies you sex, find a way to turn it around on her. You could make teasing comments about it...use reverse psychology.

Show care and attention when due but please know where and when to draw the line.

Believe you me, the day you finally define whatever you guys have, that's the day both of you will start displaying emotions - positive and negative and often times than not, one or both of you will lose it.

Focus more on your education as you said, MBBS no be beans.....continue to play cool with this babe and enjoy what she offers codedly.

You feel the brother is not commenting on your matter with her but he's watching you, man.

If the gal decides to define what you have with her, it's her business.

Do not capitulate despite all the pressure to start professing your pent-up love. It will spoil things if you don't handle it well later on.

You know why?

Once you confess and define a relationship.....expectations and unnecessary responsibilities will come up.

Your easy friendship and knacking will start suffering. The kpomo she is giving you so freely will not be so free anymore.

I don tire to type abeg.

My take is just continue to play it cool....too much banging of one gal wey no be your wife dey cause unnecessary emotional attachment.

Meet other new gals to avoid this emotional shyte you are feeling...the time for am never reach.

Cheers!

fayded:
okay,so I'll just go straight to the point.I have a girl that I'm having sex with,and I'm the one she lost her virginity to,she is 19 and I'm 22.she is my junior colleague,both medical students.
her brother is my good friend(yea,bro code,I know).
He actually knows about us,but he kinda doesn't say anything.my point is this,I like this girl,I really do and I know she feels the same way,but funny enough none of us have been able to ask the "what are we" question.
I don't want to do it first, because I don't want her to know that I actually have feelings for her,I'm trying so hard to hide it.
she tells me about the guys that chyke her(we stay in d same lodge,her room is just opposite mine),also I see guys that come to visit her and how she turns them down.she tells me everything they say to her and we just make fun of em.I get angry and jealous when I see guys talking to her but I don't show it.I don't want her to see that part of me
she describes herself as this "old-fashioned" girl,who believes in the guy making the first move,but I don't want to make the first move.due to
-I don't want her to think I'm more in love or something
-I don't know whether if we start dating,things will change and go awry.
-I don't want to get emotionally down(everyone knows that emotion and MBBS don't work together).
-I've always shown her this tough side..she always see me as this geeky unemotional guy..if I propose now,she might see me as soft..
so guys,abeg advice me on what to do,everly ,I know say bashing go still dey,but make una carry on.
now fast forward to yesterday,for the past one week,she has denied me sex.I'm not saying that its my right,but she allows us to kiss and make out but not sex.I think she is trying to test me or something and I want to be the alpha male.
so what do I do.
HARDDON,realpoacher,others abeg advice needed

realpoacher:


@daviddageek and @magikalz have done justice to your issue so I am only going to re-echo what they have said. And I will do this in practical terms.


Never fall in love with a woman, I repeat never fall in love with a woman. OK wait, let me rephrase myself... You can fall in love with a woman, it is allowed BUT NEVER SHOW/SAY IT. If you are wise, you will understand what I am trying to say.
Remember this statement: The day a man falls in love, a new MUMU is born.

I am not trying to make you wicked, NO! I am only trying to make you keep your BALLS by all means necessary. And to do that you have to understand the chemistry, psychology of a woman. A man in love does not appeal to the woman.. EOD!! Why because the woman is built for love/feelings while the man is built for things much more stronger than love, things like Companionship, Security, and Provider of comfort.

Everything you desire from a girlfriend( company, romance, respect, Sex and friendship) is what you are currently enjoying from her. What else do you stand to benefit from her by officially asking her out?... Nothing other than Emotions!... Yes! Emotions will sneak in once you open your mouth like tap telling her your feelings about her. After that, she will be gone with the wind.

I have to praise you for coordinating the relationship very well uptill this point because this type of paroles is what every guy dream of... Why?... 'cos she has more to lose while you have less to lose. She has invested more into the relationship and the last time I checked, girls with more investment in relationships always protect their investments.

Her withdrawal from you is because she wants to turn the table on you by making you chase her. Make no mistake about it, chasing her does not mean that she will accept or that she will come back (that's what your mind will tell you) rather chasing her will increase your investment upto even hers or even to supercede hers, once it gets to that point, Bros you will be booted out, trust me!

Since the both of you are still very young which I guess it's the same for most guys coming here seeking for help on relationships matters, I will take my time to school you guys in details on how to survive relationship issues with Nigerian girls. Notice my emphasis on "Nigerian girls" because Nigerian girls are a special breed and what works with other girls outside Nigeria might not work with Nigerian girls..... So back to your story.


A typical Nigerian girl does not understand what love is so in the process, abuse of it is inevitable. Once in love as a guy they term you nice guy without game. Make no mistake about being called a Mr nice guy because it's not a compliment rather to them its another way of knowing the guys who are wussies and pussies who will do or carry out all their whims and caprices!... Lolz.. Now I know you obviously wouldn't like to be termed that. Well, is there anything wrong with being a nice guy and actually fulfilling all the fantasies and desires of the girl you like/love?..... Erm, nothing wrong with that actually in the real sense but you should only do things on your own terms.

Girls are built to follow while guys are built to lead, deny it as much as you want, it still doesn't change the reality on ground. Leaders are the boss while followers are the staffs. How does it feel like, that as a staff, all of a sudden you start leading the company, office or parastatal and all of a sudden your boss becomes a member of your staff?... Wouldn't you be turned off with him?.. Its the same with allowing girls to lead a relationship while you follow, they immediately resent you because you are supposed to be the one leading them not them leading you. If they resent you how can they love, respect and be loyal to you like it was in the past?... Never it can't work. This is what @HARDDON have been trying to pass across with this thread.

FYI, a girl emotionally blackmailing you is leading you, fulfilling her every desire is; she leading you, putting all her advice to work is; she leading you, making you to fall in love with her is; she leading you. Providing for cash for your upkeep; is she leading you(husbands beware!).

There is only one way to fulfilling her desires and still remain at the top, that is everything you must do or not do should be on YOUR OWN TERMS.

In conclusion, in withdrawing from you, she wants to use reverse psychology on you to spill the beans. She wants you to show her that you love her "on her own terms". Fall for it and lose her forever. Even if she doesn't run away, get ready because it means that she will always emotionally blackmail you to get what she wants even if you guys get married.

Tame your emotions man and refuse to tell her your feelings. Grow some balls bro! By withholding Sex from you she has declared war on not just you but on all male specie, she isn't the first to go down this lane, her other sisters eve, Delilah, cleopatra before now have towed this same path. Don't worry sir, you have the davids, Solomons, mysterys and the styles here to assist you . Ignore her, Go out and catch fun with other girls, drop your jealousy or better still just face your medical books. Your nuts sac is full and your sense of judgment might be blurred. Go fucck some other girls, runs girls, oloshos, I don't care so long as you spill your nuts. Anything other than telling her that you love her is fine by me. But if you dare tell her that you love her, you will not only lose her, you will beg for her love, you will cry and crawl on your knees for her love. I am warning you.

The only iota of respite you will have is if you must say anything, only talk about the future like @magikalz said like you should ask her how many kids she will want to have for you. Bla bla bla.. Just keep questioning her about your future together. Never be definite in your talk, answers and promises with her.. That way, you won't grant her the psychological approval about your relationship that she wants making her to continually keep searching for it thereby will always keep doing things to please you.

Remember this, so long as she keeps searching for your approval about her stand in the relationship, everything will be fine. The day you grant her the approval, she is gone.


So in all these,am I saying that you shouldn't show care, concern, love, affections, feelings at all?..... No!.... I follow and observe the 70/30 quota rule.

Me: Relationship
I don't care attitude 70%
Care and romance 30%.


Me: when I finally marry

I don't care attitude 50%... I can't kill myself with HBP abeg
Care and romance 50%.


Even when showing care, concern and affection, make sure you do it on your own terms.

Do this and see the results.

Thank me later