Swissheart:
Nawa oh... .. ..... Madam I remember talking to you about getting employed somehow.. .. your husband thinks too little of you.. . He thinks nothing good can probably come outta you, he knows you are lacking in courage, hence you have no where to go.... Nd how helpless you are. Prove him wrong!.. . Get a job! Divorce him!... .. Train your kids and be fine!

U r just wasting your time advising her

Women like dese believe dat with out a man in dere life dey r nothing

I don't blame d husband, i blame d lady for bringing herself down to the level where she will be seen as a nobody

cococandy:


Nothing can be done for you. You're too far gone in the pit of low self esteem to be helped.
If you can still call the fellow your husband, forget it. It's done.

You sunk from level -1 all the way to -100 where your husband's employee can raise hands to beat you and his mistress openly jeer at you while the man insists you beg her and serve her for him to allow you stay in the marriage.
There's no lower you can go.

Telling you to leave him will be a waste of time. Like you haven't been told that already.
You've probably heard that before but chose to pray and fast and grovel for acceptance that was clearly never gonna come.

Just tie your wrapper well now and go beg the girl. Bring her to your house and let her have the bedroom with Oga. Make sure you prepare breakfast too before they wake up and serve them in bed in line with his command.

You see, the happier you make his mistress, the happier he'll be with you and maybe just maybe, one day he will smile at you again.

Isn't that what you want?

hum, that's not what I want that's why I ask will a reasonable woman allow that.

Nkasiobi87:
hum, that's not what I want that's why I ask will a reasonable woman allow that.

Sweetie, you're not a reasonable woman. A reasonable woman would have gathered her children and found her square root by now, working hard to support her children. You're also not a smart woman, a smart woman would have at least moved out and faced her front by now and told the man's family to make their son send upkeep for his children or they won't get access to their grandkids. You have a phone, you're asking us here when you should have called your relatives, called his relatives and started sorting out your life.

I honestly think your long throat is the major reason why you are so glue to the house not because of your children as you claimed otherwise you would have reasoned that you are endangering the lives of your children the more by staying in that abominable house.

Nkasiobi87:
hum, that's not what I want that's why I ask will a reasonable woman allow that.

You've allowed more than an unreasonable woman will allow.

I don't know what to tell you.
I've read your other posts and to be mild it's appalling what you put up with.
To the point his mistress came to live in your house and you're still there.
I don't want to call you unreasonable but damn.
How many hints will he give you before you know he doesn't want you?

Granted he's a horrible husband but right now I can't blame him. He's shown you in all possible ways that you mean nothing to him.
Yet you cling on with the excuse of staying for your kids. How do you see yourself? As someone who doesn't deserve respect? As someone whose identity and sense of self revolves around being married no matter to whom it is?
Common, somewhere inside you've got to think higher of yourself. I hope.

It's not like I don't know letting go of someone you love is hard but it gets to a point where the need for self preservation (which all living things have BTW) should override your need for acceptance by him. If after everything he's done to you you still entertain the idea that somehow serving his mistress might make things better for you,
I can guarantee you're better left alone. No need advising you.

Why 5 children?
So all you have been doing is giving birth?
In this harsh times 5?

OP, I read your post with a heavy heart. It's unimaginable the horror and pains you have gone through and still experiencing in the name of marriage. It's a pity your husband has reduced you to this level. But who's to blame? You!
Someone once said no one can let you down without your consent. You consented to the abuses of your husband, hence it became a habit. A norm. And this vicious circle of abuse robbed you of all sense of self. It has affected your psyche. You have come to accept the abuses as a form of love. No wonder outsiders(his mistress and worker) have taken advantage to abuse you as well.

How long should this continue? Will it end someday? Should keep up with the abuses because of your children? What happens should you die in the course of this chronic abuse? Will your husband ever change? These and many more questions can truly be answered only by you. Every bondman in his hand have the power to cancel his captivity. The choice of freedom is yours to make. But remember whether you choose to walk the path to freedom or decide to continue in this abusive marriage either way your right! It's a free world we live in.

My sister, in my candid opinion divorce is the best of options. You need to save yourself and children from this mess. You can't continue to suffer. It's not an easy decision to make but you'll someday be glad you did. Your the daughter of someone, the sister to some siblings. Your parents and siblings may provide a temporary succour while you rebuild your life and if need be seek legal redress. Obviously, you are depressed and before you become suicidal take this bold step and escape to freedom. Life's too short to live misery. Thanks.

Beg a mistress

Pack your kids out before he and the mistress poison you, leaving your kids to suffer

Did you beg him to marry you?

And five kids already, with his kind of behavior

I only hate that the kids will suffer

rolled:
Why 5 children?
So all you have been doing is giving birth?
In this harsh times 5?

I think she is helping her husband's mistress to give birth

[quote author=Nkasiobi87 post=42330734]Good morning everyone. If you have been reading my previous posts then you will know very well how my story has been. After getting a job and trying to ignore My husband'S cheating and other cruel characters towards me, he cheats with a female church member and promises her that he will marry her as a second wife.

After much talking which could not bring any positive results, I decided to let them be And mind my own business. He still enters my room when he feels like doing it with me. Now it happens that am 2Months pregnant after 5 kids. I told him about it he was happy at that given time. I then thought that maybe he will change this time to become a better father.

On Sunday while the morning prayer was going on, I couldn't stand up because I have started showing signs of pregnancy. I was feeling very anemic so I decided to sit down. My husband came out and stopped the prayer and started saying that I sat down because I wanted to show his mistress that am pregnant and that am doing drama for her mistress, something that I have never thought of doing. He started calling me all sorts of names all to calm the mistress down incase she notices that am pregnant. All to show the mistress that he is not happy with me being pregnant. All to make me feel bad and not happy of my condition.

While the congregation and the mistress were watching and laughing. When I couldn't take it anymore, I decided to walkout of the church. one of his workers ran after me and forcefully drew me back which left a mark on my neck. His claim is that I shouldn't move out while his pastor is talking. I pushed him out of my way, he slapped me inside church while my hubby watch. with the little strength in me I fight back and leave the church premises. I was so hurt that I want to revenge on my husband and his worker. how will I be proud of this pregnant now that he has said in his congregation that all am doing is noting but a show how painful. how do I pay him back.I really wish the worst on them now.God help me that I didn't do something unlawful to them.[/quote


This is posters previous post two days ago

Poster what is preventing you from going back to your parents house?

With this your mentality poster am already crying at how innocent five kids will suffer with this kind of parents, and you are pregnant right now for a sixth one from your recent post.


Poster take your kids and go back to your parents home, are your parents still alive,
Why let someone abuse you

And that mistress May God help her chai!!!
God help us all

Jesu!
This is the lowest of lows. Who can endure this kind of treatment if not you "nkasiobi"
Nne jisike zaba afa gi, na aka si onwe gi obi since that is what you've chosen to do with your self.

https://www.nairaland.com/2898117/video-mz-kiss-ft-falz#42420151
lol i really love this video , falz bad guy

Don't even think it. That your husband pastor is a fool and he calls himself a pastor but not a pastor of God's word. He is among other things an effeminate. Leave the house and go live with your parents or sibling but try as much as you can to stay away from unwanton men. I think with time your husband may regain his sanity and come for you

Any man who treats me like this should prepare for battle .. #am sorry about your situation, my advice is fight for your right or quit..
...but 5 kids? Hello no!! I can only make 2

I have a mentor who helps women like you..if you are interested pls inbox me I can introduce you to her..im serious I'm a woman too..if you really need my help pls let me know I'll inbox u my number.so we can chat.you can get thru this I'm assuring you

excellencyabia1:
can her contact be despatch so that she will be followed up. beside are you not praying about or are you just crying?
God will release disgrace that will meet her.

That's all you can say? Pray? And it's only the mistress that God will disgrace not the man.

Sips tea.

Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

Leave the idiiot with the 5 kids and go find another man. Let's see how his girlfriend will help him with the kids. Honestly, if you ain't a fool yet, he will soon make you one.

How could you even call such an idiiot your husband? Girl, respect the queen in you. You are way too precious to let any man trample on you, let alone do it because of another woman. Sorry if I sound harsh, but I am pissed. I wish you were my sister. The man for hear am.

Begging won't change the situation. It will only make your husband and the mistress even more proud and arrogant. I suggest you take this issue to strong members of the family that he listens to like his father or an uncle that he respects. let them advise him. If all is said and done and he does not change then you might want to think about 'something' else. I'm not advising you to arrange acid for her or touts to scatter her face beyond recognition. You might want to look into this spiritually because your husband may have been manipulated/charmed. Have you noticed any other strange behaviours? Did your husband have this tendency previously or was this a sudden change? Visit a strong man of God and let him guide you through this, also pray fervently. Some babes are desperate and will do anything to have a hang on a man even if he is married or not. The last and final option which I don't advice would be to get a separation/divorce. Because the moment you leave, you are making way for her to come in. Don't let the devil win. Good luck!

Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

[color=]

Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

[/color]

Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

Nkasiobi87:
hum, that's not what I want that's why I ask will a reasonable woman allow that.

Dunno why people are wasting their precious time advising you. Your low self esteem and feeling of worthlessness is contagious.

Every sane person who followed your previous thread knows you have a poor perception of yourself. You know nothing, and you're just too dull to learn.

Dunno who pushes these dumb shits to front page.

This your story is annoying. You sound like a very dull/dumb lady(no insult intended). Get your furckin ass up and get out of that bondage you call marriage.

Physical, emotional, verbal, mental abuse altogether. God this is horrible.

He won't let you get a job, just so you'll be dependent on him forever. Controlling preek.

He never let's you go out alone, he doesn't want you to meet anyone you can talk to, someone that would actually make you see why you shouldn't be treated that way, why you should leave. Or even meet a better man. Insecure bastard, with a terrible low self esteem. The only way he can be happy is to bring you down, and he's succeeded.

I truly feel bad for your 5 kids the most, because they are scared. And it'll take A LOT for them to heal. You'll start seeing traits of low self esteem, irritability, withdrawal, wildness, timidity in these kids. You are claiming you're staying for the kids, you're actually ruining them. And you still had to get pregnant?

Is it by force to be MRS?

Where are your family? Are they aware?

You really need to get out of that toxic environment and Do not leave your children there. He's going to turn on them when he doesn't see you.

Trust me you CAN do it. Don't think about the luxury you're leaving behind, I'm sure he gives you lots of money or gifts after the abuse. That's the manipulation part.

I'll be praying for you.

not all men

cruzita:
this kind of nonsense and excessive authority from a man makes me hate some men with passion.could u imagine the nonsense?

all she has been doing is helping job

rolled:
Why 5 children?
So all you have been doing is giving birth?
In this harsh times 5?

If you don't befriend the gal 3some can't be achieved hence defeat of purpose...beg the gal

my own view on this cant be complete with other lady having her own explanation. Because, the story that you narrative kind of having a slight *Awijare* SELF IMPECCABILITY*. But if what you said truly was the actual circumstances. I will imbibe you to call family meeting or meet someone that you know can reason with your husband. Leaving him is not an option. For him to be grateful to that woman. Means he is capable of faithfulness and it seem it has led to a fatasy with other lady of which you need to remind him of the reality.

Prayerfully consult the parents of your husband or even your pastor... Trust God for a change in your home in Jesus name... God bless you

I feel like calling you names madam but I won't, LEAVE THE MARRIAGE IF YOU CAN ....TRY,YOU "CAN"

Op.. is this ur story a joke??
BTW,dont u have family members u can talk to..??
Meanwhile,How could you let yourself to be treated like u are a piece of metal from the junk,all becox u are in this shiit hell called marriage...
You better end that depression and frustration u called marriage and find something useful to do with ur life..
Life is too short to be spending it with someone who does not value ur existence...

Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

you better save yourself and leave that marriage if your husband beat you too, for your husband worker to slap you in his presence shows your not his wife because any man that loves his wife wil never hit her talkless of another person to touch her ,I'm a married man so I no what I'm talking
Don't make that mistake going to beg that girl because from what you said they are dating and for you going to beg her means your giving her your position as the wife of the man which will cause you more pains and heart break not peace as you think or believe
If your still staying with the man don't pack out or divorce him for now stay in your husband's house ,marriage is for better for worst and if you pack that girl will be happy and possibly move in to take your place as his wife
you can pack out or divorce him if he beats you,God be with you and most of all pray and fast God will change your husband