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Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? - Family (3) - Nairaland

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My Wife's Family Has Ruined My Home And My Life / My Wife's Elder Sister Has Finally Settled In My Home & I Don't Know What To Do / South African Man Dies In Mistress Cupboard As Her Husband Came Home Unannounced (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Nobody: 1:10am On Jan 29, 2016
My dear I feel ur pain. Letting go of someone whom you supposedly Loved and even had kids with is a tough decesion to make.
If only you have a source of income it would have made it easier for you to cater for ur kids without him
Who says a woman cannot make it without a man.
For ur peace of mind And dignity, give that man a very long gap. Think up of a trade or businessn whatever to support you
If ur husband is truly a pastor man of God as he claims, he shold be able to support His childrens education. If he does not, don't worry about it. God will send help to you through persons you don't expect.
Just make sure you live a holy life in the process and pray to your God, then watch what this awesome God will do for you.

3 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by chinoify: 1:11am On Jan 29, 2016
Madam... I have followed this case from the first thread and have deduced the following.
1. You are the cause of ur problems.
2. You come here to seek what you can't have.
3. You are a prayless mum.
4. You are not fit to be a pastor's wife, you where never in support of his ministry.
5. I see you as some1 who gossips slot.
6. I see the whole problem as you. Until you change, this whole mess remains.
7. I see a nagging wife.
8. I see a woman who assumes (falsely)a lot.


In Africa, they say there's no smoke with out fire. Making ur story incomplete. You have lived with this man for some years, you alone knows where it went wrong, what went wrong, how it went wrong and who went wrong.


All the people asking you to leave your home will still insult you tomorrow for not been patience.

Finally my recommendations...

1. Have a personal retreat, retrace the whole saga. Search to seek where you missed it.
2. Seek to get back the heart of your husband, you know him better, you know the man you married, he has not changed and won't change.
3. Pray to God, to give you a heart to accommodate his calling. Using the term 'his church' makes me believe you are far from his calling... And this man needs people he will work with, so people including ladies must occupy ur position and have less regard for you.
4. Pray for your home.. When a problem arises anywhere, there are basically two things to do, pray or complain. You have done the later, I guess it didn't work. So try the former. Spend more time with God than man on issues. It gives more results.
5. When 4. Is ongoing, begin to participate in church activities... I don't want to hear ' he won't let me', if it happens you have disbelieve in your prayers.. So pray and participate in church activities, reclaim your position as pastors wife. Though it will take some time.
6. Practice what I call Advance Forgiveness, before he or anyone offends you have forgiven.
7. Pray pray pray pray...
8. Come back here in some weeks to testify on the new heart God has given your husband.
Selah.

3 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by airsaylongcon: 1:12am On Jan 29, 2016
My mum taught me that sometimes in life you stoop to conquer. Perhaps in this case you should be stooping on your knees and crying to the author and finisher of our faith.

#IwillNeverBowDown
#WeWillBowDownToNoMan
Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by blessedfavoured: 1:14am On Jan 29, 2016
bennywise30:

you better save yourself and leave that marriage if your husband beat you too, for your husband worker to slap you in his presence shows your not his wife because any man that loves his wife wil never hit her talkless of another person to touch her ,I'm a married man so I no what I'm talking
Don't make that mistake going to beg that girl because from what you said they are dating and for you going to beg her means your giving her your position as the wife of the man which will cause you more pains and heart break not peace as you think or believe
If your still staying with the man don't pack out or divorce him for now stay in your husband's house ,marriage is for better for worst and if you pack that girl will be happy and possibly move in to take your place as his wife
you can pack out or divorce him if he beats you,God be with you and most of all pray and fast God will change your husband

What is this? Pray and fast? You didn't read the part that said the man is a pastor. Of course she didn't put it here, but I'm 98percent sure he beats her. Emotional abuse is just as bad. And she's only 28? Marriage is for better for worse, of course it is siince she's not the one that cheated.. Or the one nagging and abusing him.

Infact I think you're confused, first you said leave then went on to say she should stay put.

7 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by HighKing01(m): 1:24am On Jan 29, 2016
I know a strong babalawo here in badagry he will work for u, considering ur present state u can tank him leta wen d deed is done....shikina undecidedI know a strong babalawo here in badagry he will work for u, considering ur present state u can tank him leta wen d deed is done....shikina

1 Like

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by StPete: 1:27am On Jan 29, 2016
I would hate to advice you nkasiobi87 because YOU DO NOT TAKE TO ADVICE!

Tomorrow you will still open another thread about this same issue. You no dey listen and you no dey tire?

People have painstakingly given you the best advise but I doubt if you read through. Instead, you repeat the same mistakes all over again. The worst yet is that, amidst all what your husband has done, you still open leg for him everytime and you're now pregnant for the 6th child. Madam abeg cover your face in shame. Your attitude is really annoying. angry

10 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Miami11: 1:43am On Jan 29, 2016
chinoify:
Madam... I have followed this case from the first thread and have deduced the following.
1. You are the cause of ur problems.
2. You come here to seek what you can't have.
3. You are a prayless mum.
4. You are not fit to be a pastor's wife, you where never in support of his ministry.
5. I see you as some1 who gossips slot.
6. I see the whole problem as you. Until you change, this whole mess remains.
7. I see a nagging wife.
8. I see a woman who assumes (falsely)a lot.


In Africa, they say there's no smoke with out fire. Making ur story incomplete. You have lived with this man for some years, you alone knows where it went wrong, what went wrong, how it went wrong and who went wrong.


All the people asking you to leave your home will still insult you tomorrow for not been patience.

Finally my recommendations...

1. Have a personal retreat, retrace the whole saga. Search to seek where you missed it.
2. Seek to get back the heart of your husband, you know him better, you know the man you married, he has not changed and won't change.

And who are you to make such assumptions, you sound like that jerk of a husband,

How can you blame her if the husband has moved a mistress in to the matrimonial home

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Originalsly: 1:44am On Jan 29, 2016
Hmmm.....this is very extreme.... there is something more to this. When your husband was in distress and needed you most....you travelled with your last child... leaving the door open for ehmmm... the witch to step in. Don't you think this is like karma?... you not caring a damn about him then and he not caring a damn about you now? You can do all he is now asking. ..and more... in the end nothing would change for the better. I think you are now history in his eyes.... get a divorce and move on if we u don't want to be clown of the town.

1 Like

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Miami11: 1:50am On Jan 29, 2016
Pregnant with the 6th child at 27,

Don't they have family planning poster in your location,

Your major mistake was dropping kids as if there is no tomorrow

I pity this innocent babies

2 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by chinoify: 1:54am On Jan 29, 2016
Miami11:


And who are you to make such assumptions, you sound like that jerk of a husband,

How can you blame her if the husband has moved a mistress in to the matrimonial home


I don't match issues with singles... Sorry, cos you won't and can't understand the mystery of marriage and also the mystery of been a pastors help meet.

If you care to read.. Go back to my recommendations to finish reading.

Selah.
Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by yemi15(m): 1:57am On Jan 29, 2016
Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

Lady, this is a toxic situation, why don't you get out by divorcing him and live your life, there is nothing wrong being a single mother, look for a well paying job or go into business to raise your kids. Life is too short to be stressed out and demeaned by another person. My 2 cents

2 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Nobody: 1:59am On Jan 29, 2016
chinoify:
Madam... I have followed this case from the first thread and have deduced the following.
1. You are the cause of ur problems.
2. You come here to seek what you can't have.
3. You are a prayless mum.
4. You are not fit to be a pastor's wife, you where never in support of his ministry.
5. I see you as some1 who gossips slot.
6. I see the whole problem as you. Until you change, this whole mess remains.
7. I see a nagging wife.
8. I see a woman who assumes (falsely)a lot.


In Africa, they say there's no smoke with out fire. Making ur story incomplete. You have lived with this man for some years, you alone knows where it went wrong, what went wrong, how it went wrong and who went wrong.


All the people asking you to leave your home will still insult you tomorrow for not been patience.

Finally my recommendations...

1. Have a personal retreat, retrace the whole saga. Search to seek where you missed it.
2. Seek to get back the heart of your husband, you know him better, you know the man you married, he has not changed and won't change.
3. Pray to God, to give you a heart to accommodate his calling. Using the term 'his church' makes me believe you are far from his calling... And this man needs people he will work with, so people including ladies must occupy ur position and have less regard for you.
4. Pray for your home.. When a problem arises anywhere, there are basically two things to do, pray or complain. You have done the later, I guess it didn't work. So try the former. Spend more time with God than man on issues. It gives more results.
5. When 4. Is ongoing, begin to participate in church activities... I don't want to hear ' he won't let me', if it I happens you have disbelieve in your prayers.. So pray and participate in church activities, reclaim your position as pastors wife. Though it will take some time.
6. Practice what I call Advance Forgiveness, before he or anyone offends you have forgiven.
7. Pray pray pray pray...
8. Come back here in some weeks to testify on the new heart God has given your husband.
Selah.


A woman with 5 children is physically, emotionally and mentally abused by her husband, a church worker and a fuccking mistress and all you had to do is blame the poor wife? If she Is that bad a wife, why did he knock her up the 5th time? Infact what kind of useless church is that? So she should help a ministry that glorifies sexual immorality and slavery?


You're not a serious person.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by yemi15(m): 2:01am On Jan 29, 2016
Nkasiobi87:
there is noting more in this, my husband hate to be challenged in any decision he makes.he an authoritarian man so all he is doing is his word to stand.

You could get a restraining order against him even during the divorce case and look for an apartment. Lady, do you want your young children to be motherless and cursing you in the grave because of your folly. My 2 cents

3 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Nobody: 2:03am On Jan 29, 2016
Miami11:


And who are you to make such assumptions, you sound like that jerk of a husband,

How can you blame her if the husband has moved a mistress in to the matrimonial home


Abeg just leave that idiooot! !
I'm still baffled at such level of shameful stupidity!
Some people just carry water for head alone as brain.

12 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by oodua1stson: 2:05am On Jan 29, 2016
How about you divorce that son of a b1tch you call husband.



He's not worth it I swear

1 Like

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Nobody: 2:09am On Jan 29, 2016
I won't advice this woman to leave her husband, not just yet though. A woman who isn't financially stable should be physically strong or mentally hardened. All these kind thing no fit happen na, she for don dey mad since ke? I will render her useless already? Pray ke? I dint have that time o.By this time on a normal day, she don dey sleep for market.

Me ke? Beg my husband mistress? Haaaaaaaaaaaaa! !*shudders*
If my husband no take time, him go join her for that market!

2 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by eyinjuege: 2:09am On Jan 29, 2016
rolled:
Why 5 children?
So all you have been doing is giving birth?
In this harsh times 5?


She's pregnant with the 6th FYI shocked shocked grin
Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Opoki(m): 2:18am On Jan 29, 2016
NFT
Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Brunel(m): 2:23am On Jan 29, 2016
Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

Deceive not thyself woman.
Thou are NOT married.
This isn't how marriage supposed to be

6 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by chinoify: 2:37am On Jan 29, 2016
EggovinMma:



A woman with 5 children is physically, emotionally and mentally abused by her husband, a church worker and a fuccking mistress and all you had to do is blame the poor wife? If she Is that bad a wife, why did he knock her up the 5th time? Infact what kind of useless church is that? So she should help a ministry that glorifies sexual immorality and slavery?


You're not a serious person.





You only heard one side of the story...
You can't make a balanced judge....
Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by yemi15(m): 2:45am On Jan 29, 2016
arixsto2:
my own view on this cant be complete with other lady having her own explanation. Because, the story that you narrative kind of having a slight *Awijare* SELF IMPECCABILITY*. But if what you said truly was the actual circumstances. I will imbibe you to call family meeting or meet someone that you know can reason with your husband. Leaving him is not an option. For him to be grateful to that woman. Means he is capable of faithfulness and it seem it has led to a fatasy with other lady of which you need to remind him of the reality.

Lol, in the 21st century, someone saying divorce is not an option? So she should die there abi because divorce is not an option smh, some people sha

2 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by baby124: 2:49am On Jan 29, 2016
Your husband is mentally handicapped with the thinking capacity of a 2yr old. The creatures some women call husband and won't let us rest. Come OP, are you not ashamed of yourself? What kind of dirty and daft gist is this? Is this a joke? cheesy

1 Like

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Nobody: 2:53am On Jan 29, 2016
chinoify:



You only heard one side of the story...
You can't make a balanced judge....

And you on hearing her side of the story is quick to tag her all manners of unprintable names.Why not also wait to hear the other side of the story first before basing your conclusions on that part you're yet to hear.Your assumptions are totally flawed and despicable! There's no justification to blame this woman for a crime perpetrated by religious and sanctimonious dimwits parading as MOG! And of course a married man of God with a mistress! huh?!

You claimed she doesn't know what it takes to be a pastor's wife right? Do you also ask the husband, if he knows what it takes to he called a MAN OF GOD?

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Nobody: 2:56am On Jan 29, 2016
If you don't get your dignity back and leave this man. He loves her, NOT you. You can't force a man to love or respect you. He made his choice and it wasn't you. I am sorry to say but just cut your losses and move on. No one ever dies from a divorce.

2 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by banmee(m): 2:58am On Jan 29, 2016
Nkasiobi87:
Hi everyone, after what happened in my husband church on Sunday how he embarrassed me and his worker slapping me. I decided to consult his doctor friend to talk to him ,the only reason he gave the doctor is that the mistress saved his life when he wanted to kill him self because of a woman that died years ago in his church which left him confused then(I traveled with My last child when this incident happen) and the girl telling him not to kill him self is enough that the girl love him and that from that day he swear never to leave that girl nor let the girl feel bad in any situation.

He said that the girl is his life. so for me becoming pregnant is enough to make the girl feel bad so he now tries to defame me and make the girl happy.he suggested that the only solution that will bring peace to my family is me becoming friend with the said girl and serving her.and that I should beg the worker that I have forgiven him if I want him to accept me again.

Now the girl in question here is rude and proud. she insult me anyhow.she laughed at me now that am going through this with my hubby. today she saw me and started laughing that she must make me leave my home with my 5kids.

Now all am asking my self is how can I step so low to the extend of begging my husband mistress just for my husband to love me again. how can I befriend this witch of a girl. How can I worship this girl in my own house all to please my husband. A girl that saved my husband name with Baby m. Will that make me a peace seeker or a fool the more.will a reasonable woman do that?

There is no difference between a Nigerian/African woman and a slave. Some will come out and say vehemently that they are not but their actions proves otherwise.

5 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by loffyloffy: 3:02am On Jan 29, 2016
madam...reading through your posts..one thing is clear to me..your husband is diabolic..wether he is a pastor or not..and his so called mistress is his superior in the spirit world..you are currently being held in a spiritual bondage..because somehow your destinys are tied..they need you around because they are getting something (most likely spiritual ) from you.

You need immediate deliverance ..you can achieve this yourself by going on a fast and asking God to help..or you can look for people you trust to pray along with you as you fast..not anyone from your church.

meanwhile stop openly fighting and resisting them..play along be nice..fight your spiritual batles with prayers and fasting behind the scene.

it is well

1 Like

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by banmee(m): 3:09am On Jan 29, 2016
loffyloffy:
madam...reading through your posts..one thing is clear to me..your husband is diabolic..wether he is a pastor or not..and his so called mistress is his superior in the spirit world..you are currently being held in a spiritual bondage..because somehow your destinys are tied..they need you around because they are getting something (most likely spiritual ) from you.

You need immediate deliverance ..you can achieve this yourself by going on a fast and asking God to help..or you can look for people you trust to pray along with you as you fast..not anyone from your church.

meanwhile stop openly fighting and resisting them..play along be nice..fight your spiritual batles with prayers and fasting behind the scene.

it is well

What are you saying? it is more like she is being held by a s.tupidity bondage.

7 Likes

Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by Analysiscorner: 3:14am On Jan 29, 2016
Please, how did your marriage to him happen? Through arrangement of others or not? Did he marry you cause of circumstances like unprepared pregnancy?
Were you friends after the marriage that he can disclose his innermost worries and cares to you?
How come it that the time he was depressed so much to the extent of contemplating suicide he could not see a friend in you to confide in?
Tell us how you people have been living from the beginning.
Re: Must I Befriend My Husband Mistress Before There Will Be Peace In My Home? by armyofone(m): 3:22am On Jan 29, 2016
How did you manage to make 5 babies shocked in this our century? How old are your children? You should not be taking such BS by the way. If your children are older, please vamoose and go find your paths in life.

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