Can An Ex Still Get Back Together  After Telling Him/her U R Moving On?

NO. once the decision is made, it is made.  Gone are the days when a person's word meant anything

Monicaa:

Though I am really moving on or moved on because it's been long, I know I still have feelings 4 my ex. I sumtimes wonder even "IF" it was possible we cud get back 2geda or work things out, how possible is that? After I had told him I was healing nd moving on? How likely/possible is that? Wouldn't he already think I'm moving on nd may not want 2 consider again? Pls anybody with sum thuts?

Monicaa:

U said once a decision is made, it's made but y do sum couples reconcile nd get back afta breaking up? I don't think in all cases 1ce a decision is made, it's made, sum things cud have been said @ d heat of d moment.

Monicaa:

@Iice, u cud be right I haven't moved on, but it's been long nd I've dated sum1 else nd still meeting pple but it's like he is still @ d top. U said once a decision is made, it's made but y do sum couples reconcile nd get back afta breaking up? I don't think in all cases 1ce a decision is made, it's made, sum things cud have been said @ d heat of d moment.

Yes people do reconcile.  Yes people tend to say things in the heat of the moment, that is why it's usually advice to keep certain things off till one has calmed down.

I was referring to myself.  Once my decision is made, it is made.  There is no breaking it.  _{Something only Anton Chigurh would understand}

Monicaa:

@ezinne1212, I'm moving on or have moved on, but I still gat love 4 him.

ezinne1212:

I believe you still see an avenue open for you and your ex, i guess that's why you're undecided about still moving-on and having moved-on. My ex got another girl pregnant, and tried to run. Later i found out he was trying to stop being an asshole and be committed to me. The girl came to me knowing this , and i helped her out without saying to much and told him to take care of his child. After 2 years he called me when they were about to have their second child and thanked me for doing what i did. I smile now because at least i know that the good i saw in him, was there, life's not perfect. I talk to his wife, we're friends , such is life. Am i bitter, i was in the beginning, but i think i did good, i have no regrets, i hope for the best for us all.

Moral of the story for you, my chapter is closed. Now i trust my instincts and i'll keep going till i'm with the one meant for me. Dig deep and ask yourself if that's the same for you? if it's not, don't deceive yourself, finish what you started regardless of what happened, else you won't ever open your heart or mind to someone else.

It's actions like these that make me proud to be a female

topup:


Well, I believe you should start with honesty. It isn't a crime to admit that you are harbouring feelings that a lot of people here will judge you for. Hey!! You're only human. However, what are the reasons for you wanting to re-consider the relationship??

Is it because you haven't found another guy to replace him??

From your posts (if I remember correctly) - he deserved to be let go, you did the right thing, and we here on Nairaland were ready to offer support for you to restore yourself, so it's a little confusing.

I don't want to be a hypocryte, because I've been there before, but in all honesty, you should try and make a decision, don't waver too much because even he won't take you seriously. Make your decision, make a list if you must, of why you think the relationship was better broken off and why you think it'll be all worth the hassle stress and confusion to try and re-open the healing wounds.

I think if you're honest, you'll be able to rationally convince your heart that bit longer that you are better off without him.

Everytime you feel weak, come on Nairaland, I'm sure others will advise you on ways to move on.

Alternatively, if you discard everything and decide to do a U-turn, you can just follow your heart, because I doubt anyone here will be able to give you a rational reason as to why you should go back to a failed relationship.


Things like this confuse me, because the impression I got was that you made a rational decision in breaking-up with him and that you knew deep down inside that you were better off. Yes, that feeling fades over time, but the reasons should still be there.

If you feel like you've misrepresented the guy or your relationship and you believe it was really special and definitely worth fighting for, this is your chance to convey that, but until you do, most people will say the same as what's above (iice & ezinne1212).

ezinne1212:

I believe you still see an avenue open for you and your ex, i guess that's why you're undecided about still moving-on and having moved-on. My ex got another girl pregnant, and tried to run. Later i found out he was trying to stop being an asshole and be committed to me. The girl came to me knowing this , and i helped her out without saying to much and told him to take care of his child. After 2 years he called me when they were about to have their second child and thanked me for doing what i did. I smile now because at least i know that the good i saw in him, was there, life's not perfect. I talk to his wife, we're friends , such is life. Am i bitter, i was in the beginning, but i think i did good, i have no regrets, i hope for the best for us all.

Moral of the story for you, my chapter is closed. Now i trust my instincts and i'll keep going till i'm with the one meant for me. Dig deep and ask yourself if that's the same for you? if it's not, don't deceive yourself, finish what you started regardless of what happened, else you won't ever open your heart or mind to someone else.

crazykid:

If you still love him, why not tell him how you feel. . .
Why suffer in silence when the solution is right in front of you

Monicaa:


U r a strong lady nd I commend u for such, I want 2 think dat way but so fa d people I've dated rnt beter than him yet, nd i don't want 2 wait 4eva. I really still love him but if it's not meant 2 b, then i guess it wouldn't be, but I really don't want 2 settle 4 less 2 make me let go of him completely.

ezinne1212:

I hate to break it to you, but by holding on to someone who you know didn't treat you right, you are settling for less. My dear, free yourself before it's to late. Don't say you're waiting for someone better, you're just making the same mistakes. Do some soul searching!

ezinne1212:

I wish you the best, i really do. You've chosen a path that i decided wasn't healthy for me. I decided to focus more on me, because if that wasn't in order i wouldn't respect the right guy if he came along and would probably choose someone like my ex all over again. I'm sure you know what you're looking for and if this is the best option for you to heal, then all i can say is thread wisely.

Monicaa:


Honestly, I haven't seen someone that can replace him yet, much better, as much as I loved him, I don't want to settle 4 less. I want something much better than him, that's the only way I feel I might get over him, but it just hasn't happened, making me think nd believe he might have been d best.
I know the relationship was not all that great nd I deserve better, like u said, I should not deceive myself, I love him but i know if I meet someone higher than him, it would fade away making me believe that's d only way I can let go of him.

Hollysmile:

Monicaaaaaaaa!
Where've u been?

Monicaa:

Thanks all that contributed.


Here is the new problem now, since my ex did me wrong nd i told him i was moving on nd would find someone that would treat me better but now I'm guessing it is wrong. There is a guy that has been disturbing me only 4 me 2 find out he has a girlfriend but im yet 2 confirm 4rm him which i would 2moro. That's d difficulty making me let go of my ex even though the relationship wasnt all dat, at least most guys r d same.

JJYOU:

get on with your life. you are trying to make a point to yourself even if you have to lie to yourself in the process. is he really worth it?

no one is big enough to make you stop living. get on with it life is tough.

pej:

dear monicaa,hw r u.i hv a question 4 u.hw do u really kno ur guy?is he a kind of a temperminded man.wel if u still love him or hv dat same feelings 4 him as u said.give it a trial,dont think or guest but make a step.i wod like 2talk 2 u on phn.my numbers 08039270871.bye

Hollysmile:

Monicaaaaa! I'm cool, (in luv wif ur name). Dat's by the way!
Really wonderin how hurt u truly are on the inside. But, DID U SAY U GUYS AREN'T ON TALKIN TERMS? Now, dis is de one thin i hate in break-ups. No matter what comes between lovers, it's usually adviceable to stil be in a 'once in a while' talkin terms. A'mean, de world is so small dat u neva know what's gonn' happen in the next few yrs. IT'S A ROTATING GLOBE U KNOW!
My point: Even if u don't make-up, i advice u be in good terms (not necessarily makin up), It's always very good. Dat's how i run mine.
Besta luck, Monicaaaa dearie!