Fake Money

Akpos was given fake money and he went to the police station to report...

AKPOS: What kind of nonsense is this?

POLICE: Hello Mr. man can we help you?

AKPOS: Can you imagine, in this country, people are just mean!

POLICE: Mr. man, you aren't saying anything. What is the problem.

AKPOS: (still boiling). Why are people so unreasonable and wicked in this country? I wish I wasn't born in this country.

POLICE: (impatient) listen Mr. man, are you ready to tell us your problem or you want to waste our time?

AKPOS: Can you imagine, I was given fake money, fake money yesterday at my shop.

POLICE: So can you recognise the person that gave you the fake money?

AKPOS: How on earth can I do that? There are hundreds of people who visit my shop everyday.

POLICE: Ok, where is the money.
AKPOS: I've spent it!
http://jokeafrica..com/2016/01/fake-money.html

James had been a stockbroker for twenty-five years and was finally sick of the stress. He quitted his job and bought ten acres of land in Obudu far from humanity as possible. After six months or so of almost total isolation, he was finishing dinner when someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a big, bearded and burly man standing there.
"Name's John Thomas, your neighbour from two miles over the hills, I'm having a party this Saturday at 7pm, thought you'd like to come." "Great," said James, "After six months of this, I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As John Thomas was leaving, he stopped, "Got to warn you, there's going to be some drinking."
"Not a problem, After twenty-five years in Lagos, I can drink with the best of them."
Again, as he started to leave, John Thomas stopped, "There's likely going to be some fighting too." "Hmmmm," James thought, "Tough crowd. Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
Once again John Thomas turned from the door, "I've seen some wild sex at these parties too."
"Now that's not a problem," said James, "remember, I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" John Thomas stopped in the door again and said, "I should tell you this, the party it's just going to be the two of us....http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/alone-for-6-months.html

So dis is how u intend to channel pple to ur blog....
Itsoria... LA click LA break.

Or Else

Akpos, a guy in his mid thirties who is also known for making lots of troubles, walked into a bar, met with the manager and started yelling, "Give me one carton of beer, five plates of pepper soup, three plates of isi-ewu and four plates of nkwobi or else, I'll scatter this place!"
So, he kept yelling until his needs were met. He enjoyed himself and left without saying "thanks". This went on for weeks, he kept coming and his demands were met.
One evening, as usual, he barged in and started making his usual demands, "Give me one carton of beer, five plates of pepper soup, three plates of isi-ewu and four plates of nkwobi or else... or else!"
A sharp voice suddenly answered him from behind, "Or else what?!"
Akpos turned to see who dared to challenge him, and on facing the man, Lo and behold, it was a very tall fierce looking guy, with a 150 pound rottweiler panting beside him.
Akpos could do nothing but shiver with his mouth wide open and saliva dripping.
The voice asked again, "Or else wha..."
Akpos couldn't wait for him to complete his statement so he said, "Pure water...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/or-else.html

LETTER OF LEAVING SCHOOL. BY AKPOS


Daer Sir
.
I'm writter this letter with haters and tell you that I'm leave your...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/letter-of-leaving-school-by-akpos.html

The Rich Man

A senior friend asked me to wait for him in an eatery in Lagos. So I ordered a meal of about N1,500 (an amount a gentleman can afford).
While eating...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/the-rich-man.html

3 Hymns

A pastor explained to his congregation that the church was in need of some extra money, so he asked them to consider being more than generous..<a href="http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/3-hymns.html">jokeafrica</a>

Full Recovery

Akpos and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Mary suddenly jumped into the deep end...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/full-recovery.html

The pastor and the two evil brothers

There were two evil brothers who were extremely rich. They went to the same church and on the surface appeared to be good christians.
One of the brothers suddenly died. The remaining brother sort out the pastor and handed him a large donation. He said "I only have one condition, at the funeral you must say my brother was a saint". The pastor agreed and deposited the cheque.
At the funeral the pastor said...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/there-were-two-evil-brothers-who-were.html

One good turn

Akpos returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so
grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said..http://jokeafrica..com/2016/02/one-good-turn.html

The Preacher

A Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river". And the congregation cried,"Amen!" "And if I had all thewine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river". And the congregation cried,"Amen!" "And if I had all thewhiskey and rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river..http://jokeafrica..in/2016/03/the-preacher.html

CHILDHOOD MEMORIES

You didn't have a Childhood...
If you didn't kill earthworm with salt.
If you didn't play rubber band.
If you never bathed in the rain.
If nobody told you about India vs Nigeria 99-1.
If you didn't sleep on the couch and wake up on the bed
If you didn't throw your milk tooth on the roof for the
lizards to take it and give you new ones.
If you didn't just wash your hands and legs instead of
bathing when going to school.
If you didn't act film in uncompleted building or under
bed with friends.
If you never flew a kite.
If you didn't use your two legs to build houses with sand.
If you didn't write your name on paper and insert it into
your pen so that no one will steal it.
If you never waved at white birds expecting your nails to
be whiter and longer.
If you never heard of a ghost that stays under the mango
trees at nights
If you didn't drive a single car Tyre with a stick and called
it your car!
If you never did mama and papa play i.e. cooking grass
and sand without fire.
If you didn't play table soccer with bottle cover.
YOU CAN ADD MORE BELOW IF YOU HAD A
CHILDHOOD...

What will you do

Hmmm what provoke you pass??

AKPORS WINS A LOTTERY

Akpos won a lottery of 10 million dollars, after claiming
the money, he buried the cash at the foot of a tree, and
took a picture of the tree...http://jokeafrica..in/2016/03/akpors-wins-lottery.html

Bank Robbery

During a robbery, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience. Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank.
This is called "Swim with the tide. Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says..http://jokeafrica..in/2016/03/bank-robbery.html

No light

Akpos was trying to get away with not paying for his electricity bill. As soon as he saw the National electric official man heading towards his house, he quickly put off the meter in his house and used....
http://jokeafrica..in/2016/03/no-light.html

Very Shy Guy

A girl started noticing a guy who stands in-front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried... http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/very-shy-guy.html

Draw a goat eating grass

Akpos was in the classroom when his teacher gave a class work that everybody in class should...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/draw-goat-eating-grass.html

Undercover Agent

Akpos was in front of me coming out from the church after service, and the preacher was standing at the door as...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/undercover-agent.html

Guardian Angel

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/guardian-angel.html

Naming Ceremony

Akpos insisted that his first child must bear his name. So on the day of naming....
Rev: Which name would you like your child to bear?
Akpos: With smiles all over...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/naming-ceremony.html

White House Contract

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the white house, where Barack obama Lives.
The 1st from INDIA, the 2nd from CHINA & the 3rd akpos from Nigeria.They go with White House official to examine the fence...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/white-house-contract.html

The race

Akpos: Why are all these people running?....http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/the-race.html

Careful what you wish for

A husband and wife were celebrating their 60th birthday together when suddenly an angel appeared and said God was going to grant them each one special request...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/careful-what-you-wish-for.html

How to Escape Police

Akpos was being chased by two men for one of his numerous crimes. Akpos ran into d forest and d men followed him.
Akpos got into the forest and climbed a tree..http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/how-to-escape-police.html

Simple Mathematics

Teacher: If u have 10 doughnuts and someones asks for 2, how many do u have left?
Akpors:....http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/simple-mathematics.html

Who is the mumu please?

Akpos was sent to deliver a chicken in Lagos...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/who-is-mumu-please.html

I Don't Want To Go To School

Dad, I don’t want to go to school today.” said little Akpos.
“Why not, Akpos?” his dad asked..http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/i-dont-want-to-go-to-school.html

All women are donkeys


During an argument, a HUSBAND told his WIFE, "women are just...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/all-women-are-donkeys.html

Omo, police don upgrade oh, dis na d call center numba 112. There was a robbery in my neighbour's house and I called them...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/naija-police-emergency.html

Biology and Sociology

Teacher: What is the difference between Biology & Sociology...http://jokeafrica..com/2016/03/biology-and-sociology.html