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purity22:

My dear, it depend on how you understand my comment. I know that a man that you are dating will not make it a must to do all that to make him marry you. I use to do that any time i visit my my boyfriend now my husband but he never made it a must that every week end i must wash his clothes clean the house stock the freezer and all that

Thank God for your maturity

EnlightenedSoul:


Lolll. I've never watched the movie, but I knew the expression to mean something completely different from how it's used on here. I think that's great, tho, and pretty funny.

dude u have never watched the movie? Go do that right away and marvel at ruthless systematic invasion then relate that to how ladies carry out their own invasion

That is Nonsense.....!

cruzita:
this will happen when he knows u are jobless if u have a job he won't expect u to come over his house every weekend to clean his house.if he can't clean himself then should sleep on top of the dirts .

You are right. It depends on whether the guy is considerate. Some will still insist She does all these chores despite having a busy schedule. This in my opinion is inappropriate.However, the Girl may take your consideration for granted. For both Parties, compromise is necessary.

Nah who get time dey sieve akamu,you help when you want and that's it.

If u can't do as he wants,den u can at least use d door, what do u expect wen u ask 4 peruvian hair and d likes,

Such happens when the girl exhibit desperation. Unfortunatly it might not lead to marriage.

You can't wash my clothes better than my dry cleaner, don't f*ckng touch them, and most of the time my place is always immaculate, having your girl do all that stuff for you will reduce you in her eyes, maybe you can cook once in a while but don't stay at my place longer than weekends, don't want you to think you can come and go anytime.

Rollar:
These days boyfriends and girlfriends expect things from each other that was once solely expected of married couples. I have heard stories of boyfriends that contribute to their girlfriend's siblings' education, stocking her fathers house with food items in the form of gifts, giving her siblings pocket money etc. This is aside from the popular duty of doling out cash for making her hair, buying clothes, foodstuffs/provisions, buying recharge cards/monthly subscriptions, calling her every five seconds to ask her if she has eaten and what she ate (that's when she's in the mood to talk) and a plethora of other duties.So basically, if you want a boyfriend that won't demand for sex and expect you to do his house chores, then don't be a demanding, clingy leech. Its that simple girls.Pick up the tab once in a while when you guys go shopping or you're out on dates, it won't kill you, I promise

U talk like a Learner.

Selena06:
And when both of you know he isn't ready for marriage yet

Then he shldnt be enjoying what only married men shld be enjoying plsssss.

Any man that demands those must be a limp dick A.K.A useless!
If you're the lady in question, then either you don't know your worth or you're actually worthless because you shouldn't be asking this. Even as a wife, those stuff aren't your sole responsibility.
I wonder why it's so hard for some Nigerian men to take care of themselves. Even at the age of 30, they still depend on some woman to clean up after them. Is it some form of mental retardation or just plain uselessness?

Mabelenena:
U talk like a Learner.

I guess this is where I'm supposed to reply with some nasty or crude comment yeah?
Here's a revolutionary idea, instead of informing me that I talk like a learner, show me what part of my comment resembles what a learner would say, using logical rationale. If that's not beyond you.

Estharfabian:
LoL!

Actually, Helping Out Your bf with certain chores, cleaning his home? cooking and all? that's actually really sweet. Buh it definitely becomes annoying if he tries imposing those duties on You and questions you when You don't. mbanu! for why?

Lol. What Are You? his Maid?

Even A Real Husby Doesn't even act that way! It's So lame!
If he wants to take the semblance of A Control freak? Nne biko, Abort mission or he had better get A maid!

It's A Relationship Not A Full time job abeg!

Nne asi nno n'iburo nwanyi akam enye nsusu.

if it is a no sex relationship then I may demand for these help. Other wise what am I really benefitting from the relationship when am the one footing the bills

Nubian113:


The last part; MY/HIS dirty laundry? Uffff ufff ufff

If someone, anyone, wanna clean my kitchen and fill my fridge, who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth . I'll even show them where I keep the cleaning products.

As for me doing it. I'm soft like that hun, if I'm feeling the guy and we spend a lot of time at his place because we wanna vibe and hang then yeah I'll wash some dishes and even push a hoover around for him. Some men just ain't domesticated and some are better than women in the domestic ness. Now as for demands and shi lol the op is talking about men from a different location to us. Do faraxs expect such treatment? Most faraxs I've seen enjoy their dirt and as long as it don't bother ya... They don't trouble you.

Maybe it's differences in the way I was raised, but the very last thing I would expect or accept of a guest (defintion: anyone who isn't blood and doesn't room with me regardless of who they are and how close we are) is to come over and willy nilly enter the kitchen and clean my messes. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that at all.

We're a hospitality culture and that's not hospitality. The person is made to feel welcome. Which, first off, means the area is already pristine and there's nothing for them to clean in the first place. The drinks are ice cold/piping hot (depending), and the refreshments/food is warm and/or fresh (depending), and includes a favorite of theirs if you know what they like.

They may ask to help serve or clean up, and a good guest will, but you're generally to politely decline, excepting frivolities, as you shouldn't task a visitor with the duties of your role as host. And as guests, they should know their place and respect that they're in someone else's home and not engage in shameless home invasion-esque behaviors, entering spaces they weren't expressly invited to, opening fridges, perusing closets

Lol. Everytime I hear the term faraxxs (and xalimoos), I think FOBs. I can't date that, 'cuz it's hard to relate ruunta. But if you're talking caadi guys, I've dated a one and I didn't come across any of that with him, or any of the others before. SO right now is by far the cleanest I've dated. I think it's because he's the oldest of two and an aaskarii that's still following the drill.

As for dirty, I can't deal. I'd sooner excuse myself at the doorstep of a pigsty, than enter it. I recently ran an errand picking something up for my sister at a distant acquaintance of hers, and they kept insisting I come in. I made mad apologetic excuses until they finally stopped insisting, 'cuz it looked like a shytstorm had hit and I wasn't about to sit in the eye of a storm. I've never cleaned for anyone barring friends and FM I've offered to help deal with the stresses of moving day, or light house-sitting chores (airing out the place, dusting, plant watering) for buddies who're on vacation or going away for a while.

Selena06, Selena06, Selena06, how many times did i call you? Look, if you want to seek meaningful advice concerning your situation, some of these teenagers in this forum, who are still in school , and still being fed by their parents do not possess the requisite experience to proffer any solution or give you a workable advice. You need to have a discussion with either a woman already married or a matured lady.
To my mind and if you sincerely ask my opinion, o crave your indulgence to keep doing what you are doing. The training you are undergoing will surely benefit you in the end. You are a wife material no doubt; so do not make the mistake of thinking that you are being maltreated by your bf. As a matured and very experienced man, I can only see you walking down the altar with this guy. Moreover, that he is yet to propose to you does not portend that he won't do it. I think your guy has a good plan for both of you. He values all you are doing even though he may not be saying it to your hearing. Relax my dear, things will fall into place soon. Cheers.

EnlightenedSoul:




Maybe it's differences in the way I was raised, but the very last thing I would expect or accept of a guest (defintion: anyone who isn't blood and doesn't room with me regardless of who they are and how close we are) is to come over and willy nilly enter the kitchen and clean my messes. I wouldn't feel comfortable with that at all.

We're a hospitality culture and that's not hospitality. The person is made to feel welcome. Which, first off, means the area is already pristine and there's nothing for them to clean in the first place. The drinks are ice cold/piping hot (depending), and the refreshments/food is warm and/or fresh (depending), and includes a favorite of theirs if you know what they like.

They may ask to help serve or clean up, and a good guest will, but you're generally to politely decline, excepting frivolities, as you shouldn't task a visitor with the duties of your role as host. And as guests, they should know their place and respect that they're in someone else's home and not engage in shameless home invasion-esque behaviors, entering spaces they weren't expressly invited to, opening fridges, parousing closets

Lol. Everytime I hear the term faraxxs (and xalimoos), I think FOBs. I can't date that, 'cuz it's hard to relate ruunta. But if you're talking caadi guys, I've dated a one and I didn't come across any of that with him, or any of the others before. SO right now is by far the cleanest I've dated. I think it's because he's the oldest of two and an aaskarii that's still following the drill.

As for dirty, I can't deal. I'd sooner excuse myself at the doorstep of a pigsty, than enter it. I recently ran an errand picking something up for my sister at a distant acquaintance of hers, and they kept insisting I come in. I made mad apologetic excuses until they finally stopped insisting, 'cuz it looked like a shytstorm had hit and I wasn't about to sit in the eye of storm. I've never cleaned for anyone barring friends and FM I've offered to help deal with the stresses of moving day, or light house-sitting chores (airing out the place, dusting, plant watering) for buddies who're on vacation or going away for a while.

Walaahi waan dhintay! Thread closed!

elantraceey:



Are you serious? Please go to the village and get a maid.

lols.gyals of now are more hardworking that a maid..

pet4ril:
He won't expect that if you are a working class lady because he knows you have to do your own chores in your house

Really?
a real man will tell any lady what he want
If you can do it good
If not don't let the door hit you on your way out

naijadeyhia:
With all I am reading here from the ladies I now know that good women who know how to keep and groom their home are indeed very few out there.

The op did not talk about herself being beaten or anything of such. Just help out in the house..... be there when my friends are there..... it shows he is proud of showing her off and most likely isnt two timing her. He is not keeping their relationship a secret or playing pranks so what really is the complaint all about?

Is it that the op cannot wash or clean? If you love him quit complaining and enjoy helping out... afterall that may just be your home tomorrow. By the time you carry this mentality enter his home as a wife and u decide to bring in a maid and d maid begins to do all the cooking and cleaning and washing while u dey form chick and oga begin fancy am na that time body go tell u.

Oga, don't really nid to kw u in person to say a big kudos.
U're d only person here dat I've bn following dat talk sense.
Dat's wat we now see wt ds 21st century ladies. Lazy and bunch of.... lemme kp it kul here.
All ds men and ladies talking shit here does more dan. forget NL yarns o. follow wat they say, at ya peril.
U only come wkend to do wat? Bleep? eat, sleep and watch muvies? while I clean d room? my Friend, outta doz bunch of ugly ass, I choz to date u. I'll fuckin shout on ya head to get to work or get out! ain't no time for shit. Hv lots to say meehn... women like ds irritates me.
luk at Op telling us sex is nat phenomenon. wat a shallow mindset. All dz first class indoor oloshos coming here to form famzy. Thunderstorms awaits y'all.
ciao Mann.... u na man.

A Caribbean woman will cook and clean
Use her own money

Selena06:
And when both of you know he isn't ready for marriage yet

hmmmM!!! But atleast,there's every possibility(naturaly) that they're going to get married.like he's going to marry her.but nevertheless,that's too much anyways.its a very good thing though but there should be a limit even if its obvious she's going to be the future wife. Cos of course that's going to be her duty but till then,there should be a limit.the lady had better get prepared for it or take a BIG U-turn. Shikena.

You are not married but if he buys you a car it is not too much. If he sponsors your education it's not a crime. my dear,the thunder when go fire still the jog o. My elders,have I spoken your minds?

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Estharfabian:
LoL!

Actually, Helping Out Your bf with certain chores, cleaning his home? cooking and all? that's actually really sweet. Buh it definitely becomes annoying if he tries imposing those duties on You and questions you when You don't. mbanu! for why?

Lol. What Are You? his Maid?

Even A Real Husby Doesn't even act that way! It's So.... lame!
If he wants to take the semblance of A Control freak? Nne biko, Abort mission or he had better get A maid!

It's A Relationship Not A Full time job abeg!

please just tell me u above 18yrs old... . That alone I can believe you.. ..


You reason above your age status.. . Your words are like that of 25yrs and above.. .. You better reveal your true identity... Else I find you.. anywhere ..... Lols

I ain't even sure of any girl of such to wash my clothes for me... Cos I have authentic dry cleaners on standby every weekend.... And talking about cooking?? Am a good chef man.... I cook almost anything and it's the best taste ever.... Nice aroma etc... .

When it comes to washing the dishes... Men am not that lazy at all.... I wash and clean/sweep my house myself... . I nor see any girl when won threaten me of anything..... Na them go day big me self to wash my clothes and cook... Lols

Pls,how ll I post on nairaland??

naijadeyhia:


My point exactly. The OP is surely misinterpreting what her so called boyfriend is doing and arriving at her own assumptions. She is definitely the lazy type hence her complaint. If the boyfriend was bad to her she would have said so... but complaining about helping out around the house? Common! Ludicrous.
She is just trying to throw a pity party and its obviously working

Lolzzz

Not right at all. Is she your slave?
i just wonder how some men think and behave.

Joy1706:
Babe na u I blame. Nothing is compulsory. How will I leave all my chores at home to go do house girl for a grown man. My last bf eh, I'd meet him washing, I'd go and balance on his bed and wait for him to finish. He'd say he wants to cook, I'd say ok and keep on watching TV. It's his mess, he should clean it up himself. Do I pack my clothes for him to wash? If I no get chores for house, I go kukuma lie down sleep for my house. Mstchewwww. Stop doing all those things abeg. Well, unless u want to

No offense but I'm sure you are single and with this mentality it will be hard to get a good hubby...ask those who have left their husbands they would wish they did it right...I now see why marriages last longer in past generations than now...check well...If your boo thinks her he's gon keep bleeping u but your boo will definitely have a better boo..

slyIsaac:
Lol...There's nothing wrong with his demands.....Meet them or get off.....

before you meet such girl weren't you doing all those things...did they give birth to her to be your slave?