Mcayofficial:
Please help me fellow nairalanders
I'm in a confused state of mind as I type this,I and my fiancee are planning to get married soon this year God willing,I'm presently out of the country,while my wife to be is in Nigeria,we

abeg nigga i no fit lie for u,i go advice u as a real nigerian and not like like d niggas wey dey form posh. av u heard an experience with awon iyami and ayee b4? nigga if u dont av money to host a proper wedding, instead of trying to restrict people from ur wedding abeg shift d tin till u are confenient enough, u can only do dat if ur family and d girl dont relate with many people, and as u narrated d issue i knw u not lik dat, man how will u feel if ur friend or a relative did a weeding and he didnt invite u?, or at worst u try to ignore him not inviting u and u went to d weeding and security bounce u out? guy dont do a welding u will later regret it? dont let d powerful people of dis world see a reason to deal with u. my 2kobo

martineinstein:
haha don't be wicked o

No b wickedness. Just help dem make der food no waste

I want a very simple wedding.
Nikkah is the actual joining of a man and his wife in islam and it costs close to nothing. just the mahr.
walimatl nikkah is not compulsory. that is the party. you can simply announce at the end of a jummuah prayer to the crowd that this man has given that man so so so of his daughter. if you can. share date palms and pure water. everything outside this id luxury. we are the ones who make these things difficult for ourselves. you can perform such a wedding from start to finish with 25k. debiuno and water. its halal.

doveda:


Ode!

your father ode

agarawu23:
is there anything like church or mosque wedding? Capital NO if we follow the Bible and Quran.

All we just do is to waste cash and let people talk about how expensive our wedding was but the most important thing is to marry legally with with ness and clergyman that will join both of you together. The rest na 'jara"

That reminds me, do the whites do traditional marriage and then "church wedding" ?
I agree with you more on getting married legally and receiving the consent of parents.

My Brother, The Answer Is Very Simple, Forget About The Wedding.

Ishilove:

500?

Trust me, it will likely be double of that. And this will be first party ( yes, I said that ) I am ever attending, I wonder how I will cope in the midst of so many people.

My mom is Abeokuta, her dad is Abeokuta, her mom Ijebu does that give you an idea? I am Beninose ( well, my dad is ) and an average Beninose likes party as well.

Honest answer: Nigerian's don't attend church wedding they prefer reception. agree with your families about your decision, make I V's for just close friends and families, church members who attended the wedding in d church ,e.g choristers, ushers, ministers and a few members, just settle them in d church. please never announce it is strictly by invitation or else u will get enemies ooooo, they should assume that its the parents decision.

Hiring security guards with option of strict by invitation will cost u even more and also attract much displeasure from both families at least ur wife must have being eating other peoples wedding rice. My advise is just budget how many people u want. Form a committee, rent a venue and arrange tables according to people of interest. Find a good caterer to prepare the quantity of food u want. Note; both families and VIPs must have their own spot, start to serve drink and food from their. If food didn't get to the uninvited guest it is not ur fault.go home and enjoy ur marriage. Wedding is just for a day and marriage continues. Remember there is no best wedding and no worst wedding. Don't allow pressure to make u spend above ur means.

An0nimus:
A friend did her wedding strictly on invitation and she's happily married today. You've heard from the others OP, do the wedding in another state. infact, if her family is in Lagos, move the wedding to Calabar.

Or do the wedding strictly on IV, people might complain but you know your pocket. If you go broke after wedding over 95% of them will look the other way

bros, na 99% and the 1% left are prolly the wife+kids and his parents.. Nobody loves u cos d second commandment lost its life to this cruel generation!

If your wife has agreed to this, I suggest that both of you should talk to her parents. Tell them of them that you are looking forward to a low- key wedding with a maximum of 200 guests. You can tell them your reasons for this if you like. I am sure they will understand and also cut down on the number of guests they will invite. If they want it otherwise, then they bear the financial consequence of inviting more guests. My elder sister did this and it worked for her.

For the church members issue, she does not have to do it in her church especially if her parents go to a different church. Better still, you can have your church wedding first in the morning and let the reception serve as an opportunity to do your introduction and engagement ceremony.

Mcayofficial:
Please help me fellow nairalanders
I'm in a confused state of mind as I type this,I and my fiancee are planning to get married soon this year God willing,I'm presently out of the country,while my wife to be is in Nigeria,we really don't wanna exceed 200invitees in attendance on our wedding day,but here are some limitations to this:

1. My wife to be is a worker in a big church,where she's an active one
2. Her family members might not support this,as they tend to love parties from their end
3. I'm planning on taking her along with me to the country where I'm based presently,so as to settle down there,all these will gulp cash,and we are trying to be very conservative with our spendings as well



Please we need your matured advice as on how to go about this,our plans include church wedding,introduction,engagement and reception in a day...Thank you

ronald4lif:


Just hope he's not the type who doesn't care about facilitating his wife joining him. If he is, there's nothing you can do about it as you can't force him to release his paperwork needed for a visa. No be by fire matter.

Dats her anyway. Call me insecure but my own fiance must be based in Nigeria cos i can't wait for nobody. He should now marry me, impregnate nd abandon me here in Nigeria. How sure am I dat he hasn't or wont marry a white girl over there? Just the way u guys are saying u can't trust Nigerian girls u take over dere is the same way we also can't trust u guys who marry nd leave us here!

So for me, its by fire by force

Do it on a monday

mcayofficial the simplest cost saving measure is what bugatie recommended on first page. you sure do want to have a wedding and a wonderful marriage afterwards. restricting people by IV could cause hard feelings later in life. pray and do your best.

agarawu23:
oga no be my mouth u go hear say police die but I will give u my own point and it's left for u to follow your mind.


Majority of guys I knew that took their wife abroad regretted it. Here on NL, we have read many cases too. I have a family member in UK that's now mentally ill when he caught his wife cheating with a foreigner. It wasn't "den say den say" he caught her pant down. (A Lady that has 3 grown up kids already)

I remember when I told my dad I want to bring my babe here with me, the next thing he said was " do u remember Mr lagbaja and Mr lagbaja's" case? A lady that loves you will wait for you.

Though some are enjoying it BUT majority are regretting it cos our ladies eyes dey open when u bring them abroad most especially when they start to move with friends.

I will advice you to come and settle with her in Nigeria than to take her there.

Though ladies aren't the same but I am talking from experience.

Cc samhay

@op hope ur not taking this advice. This is not good advice. Im just telling u cos the whole thing is predicated on the highlighted. I can tell u for a fact dt personal statistic is not factual. Dt guy probably knows one person wt a bad marriage & peppered it wt other nairaland stories.

The factual statistic though is dt long distance marriages dont work. Take dt to the bank.

Mcayofficial:
Please help me fellow nairalanders
I'm in a confused state of mind as I type this,I and my fiancee are planning to get married soon this year God willing,I'm presently out of the country,while my wife to be is in Nigeria,we really don't wanna exceed 200invitees in attendance on our wedding day,but here are some limitations to this:

1. My wife to be is a worker in a big church,where she's an active one
2. Her family members might not support this,as they tend to love parties from their end
3. I'm planning on taking her along with me to the country where I'm based presently,so as to settle down there,all these will gulp cash,and we are trying to be very conservative with our spendings as well



Please we need your matured advice as on how to go about this,our plans include church wedding,introduction,engagement and reception in a day...Thank you

Take d wedding to a far place,like Maidugri
Thank me later.

Mcayofficial:
Please help me fellow nairalanders
I'm in a confused state of mind as I type this,I and my fiancee are planning to get married soon this year God willing,I'm presently out of the country,while my wife to be is in Nigeria,we really don't wanna exceed 200invitees in attendance on our wedding day,but here are some limitations to this:

1. My wife to be is a worker in a big church,where she's an active one
2. Her family members might not support this,as they tend to love parties from their end
3. I'm planning on taking her along with me to the country where I'm based presently,so as to settle down there,all these will gulp cash,and we are trying to be very conservative with our spendings as well



Please we need your matured advice as on how to go about this,our plans include church wedding,introduction,engagement and reception in a day...Thank you

simple! Is she resides in Lagos host d wedding at Zamfara. If she stays lagos wed at enugu.

histemple:


That reminds me, do the whites do traditional marriage and then "church wedding" ?
I agree with you more on getting married legally and receiving the consent of parents.

traditional ke!

White ppl don't even care about wedding, only celebrities and rich ppl Care. 5 ppl is enough for them to tie the knot

Mcayofficial:
Please help me fellow nairalanders
I'm in a confused state of mind as I type this,I and my fiancee are planning to get married soon this year God willing,I'm presently out of the country,while my wife to be is in Nigeria,we really don't wanna exceed 200invitees in attendance on our wedding day,but here are some limitations to this:

1. My wife to be is a worker in a big church,where she's an active one
2. Her family members might not support this,as they tend to love parties from their end
3. I'm planning on taking her along with me to the country where I'm based presently,so as to settle down there,all these will gulp cash,and we are trying to be very conservative with our spendings as well



Please we need your matured advice as on how to go about this,our plans include church wedding,introduction,engagement and reception in a day...Thank you

Op,Congratulations in advance.My candid advice for both of you is to get good n hefty bouncers(strict ones) that will be by the entrance of the event hall(I could get you bouncers if you want) so every guest must have an invite.NO INVITE,NO ENTRY.I can get u professional Hostesses(Ushers)too. Either for your church wedding,introduction,engagement,reception or all of it.we will be glad to work for you.We hosted the just concluded Ogun @ 40 event.Kindly contact us on 08027101940. Thank You!

You can check ma signature too.

janellemonae:


[s] @op hope ur not taking this advice. This is not good advice. [/s] Im just telling u cos the whole thing is predicated on the highlighted. I can tell u for a fact dt personal statistic is not factual. Dt guy probably knows one person wt a bad marriage & peppered it wt other nairaland stories.

The factual statistic though is dt long distance marriages dont work. Take dt to the bank.

what you haven't experienced or heard about, ask ppl and have more knowledge of it.

MyLady11:

No b wickedness. Just help dem make der food no waste

come to think of it, marriage ceremony of nowadays is a waste of money.. U spend alot for the celebration, while the couple start thinking of how to post debt after

Take your reception to sambisa forest.

My own advice on this case is make it strictly iv and security by doing so you will able to achieve your goal and make sure you let your wife know so she can convince her family because the most important day is after the celebration GOD bless

Medunah:

Dats her anyway. Call me insecure but my own fiance must be based in Nigeria cos i can't wait for nobody. He should now marry me, impregnate nd abandon me here in Nigeria. How sure am I dat he hasn't or wont marry a white girl over there? Just the way u guys are saying u can't trust Nigerian girls u take over dere is the same way we also can't trust u guys who marry nd leave us here!

So for me, its by fire by force

It's not an act of insecurity if a woman insist she lives together with her hubby, it's her right and the most apt thing to do, couple should live together.

The problem is that some women have abuse it and prompted guys to leave their women in Nigeria. And about impregnating women and leaving them home isn't abandoning per say, as they frequently wire money to take care of them. No one abandons their wives and kids.

And no man likes to live separately with their woman, everyone loves to live together with their spouse. That's the point of getting married, live together. Some guys just don't bring their wife instantly until after a kids or two prolly to gauge her character and be certain she won't be troublesome. So, eventually these wives still join their hubby.

True, there are some guys who are married to whites but the marriage is usually a temporal engagement until they secure their complete paperwork. Such men can marry in Nigeria and leave their wives home until they secure what they want before considering she joins him. Is that a problem?

agarawu23:
what you haven't experienced or heard about, ask ppl and have more knowledge of it.

Unfortunately for you i have experienced it, my parents have experienced it and some of my siblings have experienced it. Yes, i have family all over the world. You cant even begin to imagine the effects a green card/residence permit can have on a family when its not done right.

Mcayofficial:
Please help me fellow nairalanders
I'm in a confused state of mind as I type this,I and my fiancee are planning to get married soon this year God willing,I'm presently out of the country,while my wife to be is in Nigeria,we really don't wanna exceed 200invitees in attendance on our wedding day,but here are some limitations to this:

1. My wife to be is a worker in a big church,where she's an active one
2. Her family members might not support this,as they tend to love parties from their end
3. I'm planning on taking her along with me to the country where I'm based presently,so as to settle down there,all these will gulp cash,and we are trying to be very conservative with our spendings as well



Please we need your matured advice as on how to go about this,our plans include church wedding,introduction,engagement and reception in a day...Thank you

Go to the nearest military baracks close to your wedding venue,, secure the services of 4 hausa soldiers and give them long horse whip then finally on the wedding day switch off your phone's.... Thank me later

not difficult to achieve. work on your wife to be. the ball is in her court. she should choose btw a big wedding and travelling back together with. if she chooses d big wedding then make her wish come thru , buh if she wanna travel back with u,that's easy too . Choose a week day for your wedding. people do that now. monday or Tuesday. do church wedding. no need for court. you will sign the court documents at the church and the engagement. you can even do reception afterwards... life after marriage counts more than the ceremony. if you are marrying a smart woman,she should opt to be with you.

agarawu23:
oga no be my mouth u go hear say police die but I will give u my own point and it's left for u to follow your mind.


Majority of guys I knew that took their wife abroad regretted it. Here on NL, we have read many cases too. I have a family member in UK that's now mentally ill when he caught his wife cheating with a foreigner. It wasn't "den say den say" he caught her pant down. (A Lady that has 3 grown up kids already)

I remember when I told my dad I want to bring my babe here with me, the next thing he said was " do u remember Mr lagbaja and Mr lagbaja's" case? A lady that loves you will wait for you.

Though some are enjoying it BUT majority are regretting it cos our ladies eyes dey open when u bring them abroad most especially when they start to move with friends.

I will advice you to come and settle with her in Nigeria than to take her there.

Though ladies aren't the same but I am talking from experience.

Cc samhay

Bros Abroad could be congo or uganda as well oooh

Nigerians spend too much on wedding ceremony, its good you are curtailing your expenses and not going by the norm of all extravagant expenses to belong where you don't fit.

From my experience, your best bet will be to rent a hall in an exclusive venue where there is strict access to the venue for example a large hotel where the reception hall is far from the entrance gate (this will ensure an unwanted face will not peep and start calling for help when they see someone they know inside the venue) with security personnel manning the gates.

Secondly, create invites and distribute on time, it is not a crime but will add class to your ceremony. If you plan to invite 200 people, send invites to 150 people as they will have family members coming along as well.

Of course people will ask why they weren't invited and your reason will be the venue has a strict capacity policy.

There is no small marriage really, huge party is just to show off. Talk to the girls parents and let them into your plight am very such they will take side with you. Her church members don't have a say on how she plans her marriage if she is wise, call her pastor and let him know you just want few people and not making it public to all. Tell your in-laws to be and your wife to be that you want just immediate family parlour introduction and engagement and blessing of marriage in the church with her wedding gown and few people and little snacks to give to the few guest that will come right there in the church and it ends there. Your in-laws should think of life after marriage for their daughter. If your in-laws refuses this low key marriage then leave your finacee and go back until you make millions to come and marry her.

[quote author=blackberlin post=42714227]

When you invite the whole world to advise you on an important thing, you must be prepared for positive and negative comments alike.
Shebi someone has advised you not to take your wife abroad. . . now you have seen the advise you are looking for. It's not every issue you bring online, otherwise the devil himself will come and give you his own advise. That's my 50 kobo.... goodluck.[/quote











God bless you.. op, Yur intending wife is not Mr lagbaja"s wife that jilted him on the altar, nor Mr kunle's wife that ran away with a 23 years old lad. .
Don't allow some people bad experience destroy the trust and love, U and Yur fiance share..
Don't follow people mouth or else U will regret it most times.. follow Yur heart, always pray about it and trust Yur partner... Trust is the key word..
Best of luck.