Some MIL !!!

PresVA:
Chaiii, really pity that lady.. she doesn't deserve all these treatments. .taunting her because of her background. . Really, your mum is so shallow minded (no offence intended).. Thought your mum should know better. .Marriage isn't about the physical. .
Also, What about "tushing" her up? Who wouldn't want to embrace upgrade?

Seriously I feel you shouldn't yield to your mum but then I really wonder how her life would be with your mum in the house...

I feel so sad for you. .about to lose a good woman because of some silly reason. ..

Anyway, still talk to your mum.. let her know how happy the lady makes you, her good qualities et al.. what about your dad? You can get someone to talk to your mum too...

Wia is Daddy abi ur moda na single parent? Think of ur mums best relation,friend or close confidant to talk her to submission.

Chai!!!


This is how ladies are being judged, so bad i must confess. Coming from your mother makes it worse.


I'm sure she knows little or nothing about how it all started now you are about to get married she opposes it.

Makes no sense if you ask me.

Is your mum an English royal or a Monaco royal

agarawu23:
I hate that talk " I can't see somebody like him/her again" you will surly see even more better than him/her.

I am not in support of a young man getting married to a lady his mother reject (blv me or not, u won't enjoy that marriage).

Though your mother's reason isn't making sense if that's the only reason she is rejecting the Lady and you made a very big mistake for not hiding your mother's comment from the Lady.

Have it in Mind that your mum might have another reason cos they know better than us.

I'm sorry to say this but u r very archaic

ritababe:
First of all your mother does not have the right to dictate to you who you will spend the rest of your life with is your life not hers, and if you decided to move on without her, you will be the one to suffer for the rest of your life not your mother,.
And again the beauty of a woman is inside not outside.

so much overused cliches in your little rant...hope you live your life a little bit more adventurous

My advice listen to yout mum and marry from ur class.... It wil payoff in long run.... D gal probably knows u an express ticket to class.... See toolz and demuren... See osas n ighodaro.... See ubi and esoro.... I can go on.... If u get class marry from ur class... Leav all dis yeye fake nairaland pretenders

When you talk about class...Do you mean money or educational background?

If you really love her stand by her and delay your marriage till your mother comply.


This country sef.

GogobiriLalas:
so much overused cliches in your little rant...hope you live your life a little bit more adventurous

don't understand

.

Ginaz:
Marry your mother then, since she is so high class and beautiful. Some mothers can be so annoying when they can. Making trouble when there is none!

women are their own worst enemy.

Are you above 18yrs of age ? If Yes, then you are independent human, mature enough to live life based on your choices. Your mom had obligation to raise you the man you are, and that is it. Your mother has no right to regulate and manage your personal life. If your mom says your wife is not classy and not beautiful, inform her that you are a different kind, that class and beauty is wonderful but will not define who you decide to live your life with. It is your life, not your mom's. She has lived hers based on her choices, you should live yours, based on your choices.

Jacko1:
My advice listen to yout mum and marry from ur class.... It wil payoff in long run.... D gal probably knows u an express ticket to class.... See toolz and demuren... See osas n ighodaro.... See ubi and esoro.... I can go on.... If u get class marry from ur class... Leav all dis yeye fake nairaland pretenders

Od*

I think you already know what to do. Leave the poor lady and marry your mother.

I understand your mum. It may not be "class" the way we understand it but "class" as in, background of family. See, there are some things I read on NL that I have never experienced (having siblings hounding on my neck for money, sibling making me slave away in their home for school fees, everyone divorced, domestic violence acceptable, even taking permission to allow relatives visit or go and visit etc) yet this is the reality for a lot of people. Maybe your girl comes from a background where your mum thinks her family will interfere too much (because that's how they are). Or maybe she thinks your girl's mind hasn't been exposed. The last time I saw a case like this, the MiL was sorta right but all the problems manifested after the marriage. And yes, the wife in question looked and acted like a saintly wife material.

The good thing, both of you were in school together and that time in life is hard to pretend for either party. Tell your mum you're listening and ask her to come spend time with you and your girl (and you do the same). If she still feels that strongly against your girl, you make the decision whether or not to marry.

Let your mum be honest and share her issues with he girl with you. If they are valid and you know your mum so you can tell if she's being unreasonable, give her an ear. Your wife will eventually come first, but it's nicer to have MiL on her side.

I've seen attractive wives whom are in bad marriages because they married a man who went after "Wife Material" instead of marrying "The woman who suits me best". Maybe your mum knows you and is seeing that perhaps in the future, you'll have an issue with this girl (and it may not be the girl's fault, it may be yours).

kallmemrB:
Hmmmm......this is a huge dilemma pls handle carefully....

Firstly your mum is Far More important than any Gf for now....until she becomes ur wife she ain't on same level with ur mum

Secondly Every guy wants a caring loving lady to become his wife and finally you finally found one which is really great

Now the problem is finding a common ground between both of them cos I can honestly tell you that if ur wife doesn't have a good relationship with ur mum it would be like living Hell....

Don't listen to anyone that tells u to not listen to ur mum becos your mum has a huge role to play in ur marriage...also it seems you guys have a great bond which can't be easily broken...

All you can do is pray to God and ask for love between ur future bride and mum cos you truely need it

Goodluck and Godbless

Her reasons are baseless

If my husband's mother makes my life a living hell, I will let her know that it is her son that would eventually die of stress because of her. It is up to her to either make her son's life a living hell or a paradise, but then she should be ready to be tagged a ‘a bad mother'!!!.

ritababe:
First of all your mother does not have the right to dictate to you who you will spend the rest of your life with is your life not hers, and if you decided to move on without her, you will be the one to suffer for the rest of your life not your mother,.
And again the beauty of a woman is inside not outside.

call ur momcy sis or bro to pacify her is ur father nt sayn anitin to it go ahead wt ur plans one day she'd accept her especially wen she bears u a child she'd letit go with tym she go adjust dnt argue wt her

Your mum is not the problem
Your woman is not the problem
You are the problem

Ask her to quit talking about her and I mean she shouldn't talk about her under any circumstances

Ignore her and continue the relationship with your woman

Howerver if I were you, I will make her VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. Turn the table on hersmiley. Once she starts, get emotional and ask her why she HATES you so much and why is always makes you feel SAD, DEPRESSED and UNCOMFORTABLEgrintongue. Make her feel guilty, use the same technique on her if she treats her with disdain after marriage. The truth is whatever she does to your wife will indirectly affect you too. Let her know that.

Wahala dey o.....i no even know wetin i wan talk sef....I can only say God will help you.

PresVA:
Just wondering how the lady's life would be if the guy goes on to marry her against his mum's wish...

It would be another MIL-DIL wahala. .

Sadly yeah.. But if the man is not a mama's boy, she will survive. I'm surprised tho.. at her age, she should dole out wisdom...not vanity..

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Bros, you've heard it all. Is only God that knows why your mum is against her becoming your wife. My advice to you is that between the two women, which ever gives you do everything humanly possible not to loss her.
If your mum gives you more joy than your girl, then stick to her but if otherwise guy just do the needful by making her the mother of you children ASAP.

Look for another elderly woman your mum respects and take this issue to intervene. Believe me u need to convince your mum and it's possible.

Creamish:


Sadly yeah.. But if the man is not a mama's boy, she will survive. I'm surprised tho.. at her age, she should dole out wisdom...not vanity..

My dear it's not about surviving. Every woman's prayer is to enjoy her marriage. Even if you have the whole world,it is tough if you are cut off from your family because you will feel like an outcast esp in the villa.

Long time ago i used to think parents dont bounce daughters inlaw on such flimpsy grounds until my best friend's mum bounced her to be daughter inlaw for having a 'flat behind'. In that case,the relationship ended.

Goodmorning op.
I just dreamt that a better man with sensible mother got married to this lady

Let me go back to sleep, maybe I can see your classy and beautiful mummy-approved-bride.

Good night.

Be a man. Be bold to defend your decisions even in the face of your mother. By the way, what's your father's position?

Op.
My elder brother @Emeka have been married for 15 years now. Each time I see him or visit them, I can't help but feel like getting married.

But in the beginning it was not so.
My big bros is what you will call a beautiful handsome. Tall,dark and strong. But his wife is the opposite. She is short, fat, and from a different background from ours. But there was something he saw in her.

When he introduced her to us as his wife to be, my mum and sisters were like. What is this? Which kind rough play be this? they even went as far as saying he has been jazzed. It was not easy but in time he was able to make them see what he saw in her. She also played her own part. Now 15 years later, their love is still growing and their marriage peaceful

Op you need to let your mother know that you are man enough to make decisions concerning your life and future.

You are the one that will spend the rest of your life with your wife and not your mother. she is what your heart wants, you have to let your mother understand that.

Let her understand that the secrets to happy married life has nothing to do with class, color and so on.

OP,this is a delicate matter that requires maturity,understanding and wisdom in handling. These two women from your post are dear to your heart. Your future and that of your children are closely tied to both. From your post, Your mum's arguments are hinged on two things-beauty, and class. Both in my opinion are ephemeral. However, what does your mother implicitly imply by beauty? is is physical or inner beauty? physical beauty is vain and temporary, inner beauty is virtuous and eternal. In addition, to 'stigmatize' based on social class is to be myopic,selfish and vainglorious. The only constancy in life is change. A man of lower class can ascend the highest of class and vice versa.

My brother, I counsel you like every other person have done to sit with your mum. Firstly, get her to express her fears. Thats all what I see in her supposed rambling about beauty and class. After she's done you can allay her fears. Don't get frustrated or upset if she sticks to her guns. It's a normal thing about human nature to resist change or contrary views. You should avail yourself of every opportunity to get her consent and blessings in your marital life. It's very important. You could also enlist your siblings, your dad or any close relative who wields considerable influence over your mum to help out. I believe mother's have a certain attachment to their sons, and the presence of a woman other than their female child in their son's life is viewed as a potential threat/encroachment of space.

If you are able to extract any tangible reason from your mum as regards your fiancee, you could have a heart to heart talk with her. Please avoid by all means taking sides. I believe by now you know how to relate with your woman. If it's a character flaw,help her overcome it. It's not impossible, though it takes time, patience, continued assurance and mutual understanding. If it's about physical appearance that is amenable you could brush her up. No woman is ugly in my estimation. It all depends on the level of care or attention she gets/receives. Also let her not get petty with your mum. No! Never! It will ruin everything, and further strengthen your mum's negativity. Let her show love for hate. Respect for disdain. Care for neglect. There's no soul so evil that cannot be worn over by love. However, let her not appear obsequious.

Lastly, as a man this is a litmus test for you. If you could unite these two important women in your life, you'll be happy all your days. Please never make rash decisions. Never let anger overshadow your sense of reasoning in this matter. Women can be petty, you know they are emotional beings. A man on the other must maintain his poise, sense of reasoning and vision for tomorrow. I believe committing this matter into the hands of God for wisdom and direction is the best of counsel I proffer. God has never failed those who turned to Him for help. He's faithful. I can only wish you a blissful marriage in the near future with the woman of your dreams, and your caring, loving and supportive mum standing by you both. Thanks.

This nah wahalah oooooo

Is this lady aware of how your Mother feels about her? Kindly let her be cos you will not stand for her when your Mother starts 'gbogbo aiye' on her ooooo
Tell your 'Mommy' to get you a wife. Gaskiya