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An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends - Romance - Nairaland

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An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Naijasinglegirl: 8:48am On Feb 09, 2016
Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs. smiley
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends

83 Likes 9 Shares

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by chigoizie7(m): 8:50am On Feb 09, 2016
And what will thy get in return?

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Adortem: 8:51am On Feb 09, 2016
HIV/AIDS is real,play safe and be faithful to your partner,I feel love should be celebrated everyday not just a day. Febuary 14,men are looking forward to good sex from bae,ladies are looking forward to good gifts from guy...don't be deceived,be wise!

11 Likes 6 Shares

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:51am On Feb 09, 2016
Okay, we've heard you.

What happens after Valentine is even more important to us.

November is believed to record the highest number of births in recent times so we do not mind making such sacrifices you have requested for as long as we get the Coochie then we'll be fine.

Hopefully, in nine months you will give us a bunch of babies. If you are not ready for that, then we still have a free pass to the Coochie.

I bet this is a worthy arrangement and we are absolutely ready to bare the cost/investment towards infinitesimal joy in the bedroom and hopefully, this applies to other aspects of our lives.

It will be a win win situation and everyone is happy.

Signed.
By Brandnew2
@GidiLink
On behalf of frustrated Nigerian men.

15 Likes

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Blizzyblinkzy(f): 8:52am On Feb 09, 2016
Wetin happen? Na because of you him dey work?

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by jonaifame22(m): 8:52am On Feb 09, 2016
And also naija gals pls take care of ur pvssy very well on dat day, cos guys will go down that alley,we don't want no funny smell please!

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:53am On Feb 09, 2016
YINMU
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by GAZZUZZ(m): 8:54am On Feb 09, 2016

38 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Synzu(m): 8:54am On Feb 09, 2016
What's all this nonsense about valentine?? Why should it be about boyfriends and girlfriends?


Nigerians too like to dey overdo things undecided

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:55am On Feb 09, 2016
Naijasinglegirl:
Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs. smiley
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends
Crap! Crap! Crap! Megacrap!!

5 Likes

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 8:55am On Feb 09, 2016
chigoizie7:
And what will thy get in return?
na toto na. Whatelse?
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by bqlekan(m): 9:01am On Feb 09, 2016
Hahaha naijasinglegirl no go kee me with laughter... You all needs to see her blog

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by chigoizie7(m): 9:04am On Feb 09, 2016
stupidity:
na toto na. Whatelse?



Well. I could get a handful, a groupie with her 14yr old kid sis won't be a bad idea.
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by khalhokage(m): 9:05am On Feb 09, 2016
grin Naijasinglegirl you don come again, I'm personally thinking of a short lived terminal illness.

1 Like

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:06am On Feb 09, 2016
Brandnew2:
Okay, we've heard you.

What happens after Valentine is even more important to us.

November is believed to record the highest number of births in recent times so we do not mind making such sacrifices you have requested for as long as we get the Coochie then we'll be fine.

Hopefully, in nine months you will give us a bunch of babies. If you are not ready for that, then we still have a free pass to the Coochie.

I bet this is a worthy arrangement and we are absolutely ready to bare the cost/investment towards infinitesimal joy in the bedroom and hopefully, this applies to other aspects of our lives.

It will be a win win situation and everyone is happy.

Signed.
By Brandnew2
@GidiLink
On behalf of frustrated Nigerian men.
Hahahahaha @ frustrated Nigerian men.


Abeg, who dey frustrate una?

1 Like

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:08am On Feb 09, 2016
grin
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Laveda(f): 9:08am On Feb 09, 2016
Smh grin

This Sunday won't be easy though grin
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by pbs4real(m): 9:09am On Feb 09, 2016
Naijasinglegirl:
Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs. smiley
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends
shoro niyensad
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:12am On Feb 09, 2016
missbronze:
Hahahahaha @ frustrated Nigerian men.

Abeg, who dey frustrate una?
Na rhetoric question be this?
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by vault(m): 9:17am On Feb 09, 2016
so girls with no bf should just rob bank 4 val grin
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 9:31am On Feb 09, 2016
Is Valentine for lovers alone ?

Does love exist between lovers alone?
should love be shown to lovers alone?
should love be celebrated by lovers alone?



Hmmmmmmm

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by firstking01(m): 9:40am On Feb 09, 2016
Op, you mumu no be smaLL undecided
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by firstking01(m): 9:41am On Feb 09, 2016
Op, you mumu no be smaLLundecided
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by mcdreeezy: 9:47am On Feb 09, 2016
It's not by force.
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by DgRaNdShErifF(m): 9:48am On Feb 09, 2016
Naijasinglegirl:
Dear Nigerian boyfriends

We hope that you and your ATM card are getting ready for Sunday?
In no particular order, below are a list of items we WOULD NO LONGER accept as Valentine day gifts.

BBM BC’s
Whatsapp BC’s
BBM PM Shoutouts
Instagram Woman Crush Sunday.
Romantic sms except it is accompanied with a credit alert.
Card: Soft and hard copies. This is not applicable to recharge cards. Please note the s.
Leaves/Flowers: Fresh, rubber, dried, scented, unscented, cooked and uncooked.
Perfumes from an unnamed designer: That type that stains cloth and produces rashes.
Cheap jewelries made out of copper, steel, zinc and iron.
Cheap chocolates.
Rice & Chicken in Mr Biggs nylon.

However, while we are still saving for your Bentley, we expect that you’d receive your regular valentine pack of a handkerchief, a singlet and a boxer with sincere appreciation as these three items connotes a deep meaning that has more value than silver and gold.
A white handkerchief signifies gratitude. We are indirectly apologising for all the times we made you sweat and thanking you for sticking with us.
All the wonderful things you could use your handkerchief for
You boys never have more than three singlets. This is why we keep adding another one year after year.
We wouldn’t be giving you briefs/boxers if we haven’t envisage a future with you. We care about your body & the packaging of reproductive organs. smiley
Extras of ties and cufflinks, who doesn’t like a perfect gentleman?

In addition to the above, you are expected to observe the following rules from now till 15th February.
– You are not allowed to take any one week impromptu trip to the village to visit your uncle’s brother husband. No fake business trips! No disappearing acts!
– You are advised not to fake any form of terminal disease or sickness. Be warned.
– No bad phone, bad network, bad battery, phone speaker is bad , power button is not working excuses.
– No ‘ATM is not working or card has been blocked’ excuses. You have from now till Friday to register your BVN.
– You are advised to increase your tolerance level for all our excesses. No ‘we should go on a break’ ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ or ‘I have been thinking about this relationship’ speech will be accepted.
– Third service, fourth service, prayer meeting, youth meeting and fasting MUST NOT be used as an excuse come Sunday the 14th.

Please pass to respective parties. We thank you in advance for understanding.

Signed:
By @Naijasinglegirl,
On behalf of girlfriends in Nigeria.

http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/open-letter-nigerian-boyfriends
In Akpos' voice: E no rhyme joor. Try part 2












So stale; You can do better grin grin grin grin
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by KimBerlyie: 10:32am On Feb 09, 2016
embarassed

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 10:40am On Feb 09, 2016
Sometimes,i dey wonder why some mumu guys go spend half of their salaries on one girl's kitten?If their siblings beg them for #200 them go tight face like person wey drink bitterleaf water.Bro,If you no fvck her you no go die.It's not worth that huge spending na.

6 Likes

Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 11:03am On Feb 09, 2016
Brandnew2:
Okay, we've heard you.

What happens after Valentine is even more important to us.

November is believed to record the highest number of births in recent times so we do not mind making such sacrifices you have requested for as long as we get the Coochie then we'll be fine.

Hopefully, in nine months you will give us a bunch of babies. If you are not ready for that, then we still have a free pass to the Coochie.

I bet this is a worthy arrangement and we are absolutely ready to bare the cost/investment towards infinitesimal joy in the bedroom and hopefully, this applies to other aspects of our lives.

It will be a win win situation and everyone is happy.

Signed.
By Brandnew2
@GidiLink
On behalf of frustrated Nigerian men.
very funny cheesy

so are you talking about baby mama things or marriage?
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 11:43am On Feb 09, 2016
pucelle:
very funny cheesy
so are you talking about baby mama things or marriage?
One comes with a certificate and the other comes with money. Choose one!
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Nobody: 12:08pm On Feb 09, 2016
Brandnew2:

One comes with a certificate and the other comes with money.
Choose one!
the one that comes with a certificate is permanent and surely gets more money...I choose that tongue
Re: An Open Letter To Nigerian Boyfriends by Elparaiso(m): 12:09pm On Feb 09, 2016
February is the only month I get happy that I don't have bae.

6 Likes

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