Decker:
Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back.
To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?

The thing about love, is that it makes you think that person you are in love with, is the best person out there, but that's wrong. You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes.
So, stop crying like a baby about this girl, get her off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find a right girl who really deserves you.

This Your comment is not fair @all sir, You just brilliantly gave the op the most sensible advice he can ever get, without giving others chance to even comment.
@hurting, Mr Decker has said it all.
Goodluck.

Wow! Quite a touching story, man you don't have to kill yourself to be in the good books of any lady. Keep the search for job going, never relent on your dreams and aspirations BUT very importantly do not die for anyone. Your lady has moved On, she is afraid of taking the risk of marriage with you because of your situation, why crying over spill milk? Sometimes some people have to move out of your life for something good to move in. Finally you need to constantly pray to GOD to bless the labour of your hands.

Like I always say, THERE IS NO LOVE BUT INTEREST.

My wife divorced me for material things with lame excuses after one kid. I'm an average man living ok. But she wants a more flamboyant life which I cautioned myself not to live.

Through the job I got her, she found a client who can give her a temporary life she wants.

Guy, never trust a woman's heart AGAIN! Always think of urself before her.

If u av moni, if a woman wants to leave u, she will!
But the worst is, when u don't av.

Work hard, put on a strong mind and make a good living for urself. Take a long break from any relationship but u cn go got sex only.

Wish u d best.

I think you should just let her be. If I can remember what you said, you were the one who helped her secured the two jobs at different occasions and now the current one is paying off. She is only seeing the present and not the future. You could have as well taken up these jobs but you let her have them. I wonder why she can't see the good plans you have for her and support you till the dream job comes. It is not as if you're begging her for cash. In your little way you still provide for her. Just concentrate on your job and save your earnings and setup something better for yourself this period. Do not beg her again she is selfish.

italo:
She broke up last week because she was trying to avoid a clash on Val day. She has been dating the other guy for longer than you think. (most likely)

@hurting, if you commit everything to Jesus Christ, you will be uplifted to a point where, you'll be glad she left you.

There are 3.5 billion women in the world. Are you aware?

this is the very gbam!!

Your story is so touching.

Let her be for sometime....

The truth is you can't manage a family with that amount you earned a month in this present economy.....
It's not easy to get over heartbreak but I assure you will get over her.
Tell yourself you are done crying and thinking about her....Work hard,earn the money and watch how girls flock around you.

No man or woman is worth dying for.
If you commit suicide hell fire await you.

Mr man, emotion is a fraud. If you're not careful it will mess you up. Prove her wrong and be a better person.

I lost my pity for you when you spoke of suicide. You want to kill yourself because she desires a good life abi..... a good life for you after all it is a job she needs from you. How old is she? Her background blah blah... . All these are what to consider in understanding the situation. I once told my guy the same thing... ..... Yes because he was appearing lazy and unpromising. At that instance he knew he what to do... .. .. it is not easy to get a job but then it is wrong to be stagnant. You have helped her secure jobs while you aren't doing any except the one you are managing ... Who does that?... You will only appear flippant to her. Brace up nd search more. Leave her to herself for now though I doubt if she is into anyone yet but if she is, bro she never loved you and she doesn't deserve you. 7years isn't 7 weeks to throw away like that.

Join the mgtow forum and go to club tonight and get yourself some sex. Repeat the same thing tomorrow then start thinking straight. 30k to 50k is not enough to run a home if you are in any city including Lagos. The reality is that women are created to think the same way. The next woman you meet will be demanding LV bags and iPhone6 and will your salary work with such demands ? Steer off women totally and Bleep runz girls when need be and focus on money making. I am telling you this as some one who earns millions per month from business and i can tell you that women are on a different league of their own. They dont think like men, except at their tender age, once they reach like 27 years old and upwards, they become dragons. Like I said, and I recommend to other married or bachelors, if we treat women they way they treat us, then it will be a zero-sum game.

hurting:


This year I made up my mind to ask her for hand in marriage on vals day, but last week she gave me d shocker of my life, but telling me she had moved on because of my employment status. I have begged like I ave never begged anyone before, telling her that am very sure d job will come before d babies start coming. She told me she has found someone else and that she has made up her mind.

She still loves me, but the job issue I her phobia, dont get me wrong she is very decent n has been faithful all our yrs together. Right now my heart is torn to shreds, I don't sleep at night, I cry every night, I cant eat well, I have lost weight. Am I beginning to scare my self with d kind of suicidal thoughts I have these days. I have built my whole adult life around her, I try to let go but cant.

Pls nairalanders advice me before I do something drastic, I need all the advice I can get, am on job sites 24/7 now just to get something n probably win her back. She is not after riches just d basics. And for those that will lash me, I need it too, it might cheer me a bit.
Pls help a brother.

I've never seen someone communicate his desperation through words like this before.
Anyway, there are a couple of things you need to know:
1. You people are not the only struggling couple there ever was and she's not the only lady brought up under poverty, I know you want us to empathise with her, but I really can't. The blatant fact is, she has left you because you don't have money and has gone to meet someone with more money.
Bottom-line: She's dumped you because you haven't found a better paying job, which is no fault of yours and that says a lot about her loyalty, or the lack thereof.
2. You _fucked up seriously during your relationship with her. You were dependent on her -not material dependence, psychological dependence- and that's why you're contemplationg suicide now. You never should have left your heart in someone's care. You never should have hinged your psychological well-being no matter how trust-worthy that person is.

In conclusion, since she's run out of patience with you because of your TEMPORARY financial incapacitation, she was never the right person. Look at it this way, what if you'd gotten gainfully employed when yo left school and after 7 years, you were retrenched and you lost all your money, what would she have done?

If you're a believer in God, I think God's sending you a message.

Grieve over her, but let her go and continue your hustle, she never was yours or she wouldn't have left you because of some silly phobia(who doesn't have a phobia of poverty?)
Be well.

hurting:


Thanks bro! I fear she will get over me if I stay clear. I know her very well. And she is also heartbroken, she cries when I call her, as for d dressing, I have a very good dress sense, I kit well n dats one of d reason she loves me.

stop fooling yourself with the emboldened. I have read your post, I have been there and dusted it off me. Atlantian has told you the truth.

Hustle for money like mad. Visit business section of nairaland from time to time to keep abreast of opportunities.

Bro,they ARE all the same but with different wavelength, including those commenting on this thread. I have seen it all. They are deceptive like serpent, including those you thought can't hurt a fly.

This Nigeria where prospect is the in thing for women. Hardly will a Nigerian girl date a business dude nor encourage him. You secured a job for her and what did she do in return? That's to tell you her real person. If you had impregnated her, you would have been on safer side.

I want to sound a warning to all guys reading this, do not EVER trust that girl you are dealing with, except she has become your wife. Anything outside that you are playing with your life.

Women are deceptive... take that to the bank.


Rubbish!

2sexy

2sex:
stop fooling yourself with the emboldened. I have read your post, I have been there and dusted it off me. Atlantian has told you the truth.

Hustle for money like mad. Visit business section of nairaland from time to time to keep abreast of opportunities.

Bro,they ARE all the same but with different wavelength, including those commenting on this thread. I have seen it all. They are deceptive like serpent, including those you thought can't hurt a fly.

This Nigeria where prospect is the in thing for women. Hardly will a Nigerian girl date a business dude nor encourage him. You secured a job for her and what did she do in return? That's to tell you her real person. If you had impregnated her, you would have been on safer side.

I want to sound a warning to all guys reading this, do not EVER trust that girl you are dealing with, except she has become your wife. Anything outside that you are playing with your life.

Women are deceptive... take that to the bank.


Rubbish!

2sexy

2sexy, dont even trust your wife, it is as bad as that. Dont even trust your own self when it comes to love. How many times do we make up our minds not to talk to a certain girl or have anything to do with her. Then the moment we set our eyes on that person, may be with a beautiful dress and you just change your mind instantly. You dont wanna leave her again, and the penury continues.

Again, let me add the issue of children. With his finances, he will be in penury if he dares to marry and have kids. He needs to make money first, before attempting marriage or even having a girl friend. After the illusion of love, what next happens even in marriage ? Even with your money, you can be irritating to her and she to you.

Our parents generation believed that kids will always come and take care of them at old age, it used to work but not anymore, the economic realities on ground keeps a man trying to make his wife and kids happy and hardly have enough to extend to aged parents. We put parents on monthly stipend, a stipend that our wife uses to shop at the stores and malls and let me be clear. The money our girls use for buy handbag these are like 3 months allowance we give our aged parents mostly. So, do not get married because you want to raise kids quick so you can see them grow.

Make love a zero-sum game. Do not demand for sex except it is the lady that presents it, cos they use our demand for sex to table their needs, in the end...our coins runs out while the cup runneth over. Go for excorts, very sexy ones when conji calls. Wise men know these to be true.

Men, be wise.

He helped her secured a job through his friend and all she could use to pay him back is leaving me.

1,000,000 likes

2sex:
stop fooling yourself with the emboldened. I have read your post, I have been there and dusted it off me. Atlantian has told you the truth.

Hustle for money like mad. Visit business section of nairaland from time to time to keep abreast of opportunities.

Bro,they ARE all the same but with different wavelength, including those commenting on this thread. I have seen it all. They are deceptive like serpent, including those you thought can't hurt a fly.

This Nigeria where prospect is the in thing for women. Hardly will a Nigerian girl date a business dude nor encourage him. You secured a job for her and what did she do in return? That's to tell you her real person. If you had impregnated her, you would have been on safer side.

I want to sound a warning to all guys reading this, do not EVER trust that girl you are dealing with, except she has become your wife. Anything outside that you are playing with your life.

Women are deceptive... take that to the bank.


Rubbish!

2sexy

Decker:
Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back.
To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?

The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with, is the best person out there, but that's not true.
You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes.
So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find a right girl who really deserves you.

Ok so you know what? God bless you! As in this is a well thought out response. @op all you need as a way of moral booster,comfort ,counselling,is embedded in this writeup. I feel really sad for you though. And I pray God sees you through. Honestly I've had atleast two major heartbreaks in the past that I cried my eyes out(one even turned out to a married man seperated from the wife and I never knew! How he managed to keep it from me I cldnt tell,maybe it was jazz,lol) but when I look back ,I laugh at myself cos yoou know what? I went through that phase and came out healed. We all have that phase but with time one heals,sometimes faster than envisaged.
Going forward,may God give you that which is yours,Amen!

hurting:

I told her exactly that! People lose jobs everyday. What is I get n lose it later after our wedding?

Its just that I find it very hard! Thanks for d advice.

look, there is a thread at the business section and someone is looking for suppliers of certain agro produce for export. If you play your card well, you will earn more than your current 30k. Some guys have been doing this business for decades, making as much as 500k profit per shipment.

The problem is that the information isn't readily available right now and I am still trying to understand how to get buyers. Let your girlfriend die with her current man and let that be a motivator and challenge such that when she sees you in 5 years time, she will know better.

Since you have been running on your own, it means you have love for business, no matter how small. That love should be nurtured.

There is also a certain nairalander who is currently making it big with current naira/dollar wahala and he banks over 500k per deal, though not likely to let you see his clients but I am just letting you know shiits is happening while you are here crying over a girl that is likely cuddled in the arms of her new excitement.

Be smart bro and make things happen in your life.

Women and excitement are like twins. Untill that excitement turns into sorrow, there nothing you can do to catch their fancy, not even your death for their sake will make them consider you. Stop playing the "pity" card cos like someone clearly pointed out, they don't yield to pity.

Her cry was just to make you feel a bit better. She does not care if you have a knife in your heart right now.

@OP so sorry man... such is Life

funny thing is... she might never find a guy to love her the way you did (her loss)

just cheer up.guy... i hope you now see why real niggas say 'hustle over bii*ches'

can you still woo a girl like this? ... i mean this jet age

hurting:


Thank you. My heart is really really heavy right now.
God bless.

Become a professional at something, join linkedin get a job, move on. It will never be the same even if she takes u back which most likely wont happen. If uve been good to her know she wont forget that. Get someine new and marry asap. Its not by how many years u date..

Plus shes swimming in debt already on an 80k salary.... Let her sort herself out abeg

You are free... Lalastic-lala

Atlantian:


2sexy, dont even trust your wife, it is as bad as that. Dont even trust your own self when it comes to love. How many times do we make up our minds not to talk to a certain girl or have anything to do with her. Then the moment we set our eyes on that person, may be with a beautiful dress and you just change your mind instantly. You dont wanna leave her again, and the penury continues.

Again, let me add the issue of children. With his finances, he will be in penury if he dares to marry and have kids. He needs to make money first, before attempting marriage or even having a girl friend. After the illusion of love, what next happens even in marriage ? Even with your money, you can be irritating to her and she to you.

Our parents generation believed that kids will always come and take care of them at old age, it used to work but not anymore, the economic realities on ground keeps a man trying to make his wife and kids happy and hardly have enough to extend to aged parents. We put parents on monthly stipend, a stipend that our wife uses to shop at the stores and malls and let me be clear. The money our girls use for buy handbag these are like 3 months allowance we give our aged parents mostly. So, do not get married because you want to raise kids quick so you can see them grow.

Make love a zero-sum game. Do not demand for sex except it is the lady that presents it, cos they use our demand for sex to table their needs, in the end...our coins runs out while the cup runneth over. Go for excorts, very sexy ones when conji calls. Wise men know these to be true.

Men, be wise.

thanks bro. Well said. It's just pathetic how ungrateful these women are.

When I was growing up the news in town around Lawason. Zamba street was that a certain Ndubisi sponsored a girl from secondary to university level.

After graduating, she came with another guy to introduce to him as her husband to be.

What pain can be measured to that bro. A man toiled day and night to see this girl become better person so his family can have a better future as he didn't go to school. His shop was at the popular mbuka area of Lawanson and he was a family friend.

Women are devils. Quote me anywhere.

2sex:
look, there is a thread at the business section and someone is looking for suppliers of certain agro produce for export. If you play your card well, you will earn more than your current 30k. Some guys have been doing this business for decades, making as much as 500k profit per shipment.

The problem is that the information isn't readily available right now and I am still trying to understand how to get buyers. Let your girlfriend die with her current man and let that be a motivator and challenge such that when she sees you in 5 years time, she will know better.

Since you have been running on your own, it means you have love for business, no matter how small. That love should be nurtured.

There is also a certain nairalander who is currently making it big with current naira/dollar wahala and he banks over 500k per deal, though not likely to let you see his clients but I am just letting you know shiits is happening while you are here crying over a girl that is likely cuddled in the arms of her new excitement.

Be smart bro and make things happen in your life.

Women and excitement are like twins. Untill that excitement turns into sorrow, there nothing you can do to catch their fancy, not even your death for their sake will make them consider you. Stop playing the "pity" card cos like someone clearly pointed out, they don't yield to pity.

Her cry was just to make you feel a bit better. She does not care if you have a knife in your heart right now.

Watsup with that agro biz though. Any links i could read from?

Wisdom is profitable to direct, the ayes have it.

flokii:
@OP so sorry man... such is Life

funny thing is... she might never find a guy to love her the way you did (her loss)

just cheer up.guy... i hope you now see why real niggas say 'hustle over bii*ches'

can you still woo a girl like this? ... i mean this jet age

the emboldened is where many of them fail to reason or see things differently

"Now it will be a beautiful death jumping out the window, letting everything go" Kanye.

hurting!
I hate it when guys cry for ladies.

Move on bro, work hard
Make money she will dumb the new guy and come come back to u.

gcode123:


Watsup with that agro biz though. Any links i could read from?

click through my handle and read my post. It will take you there. If you can arrange with the op on supply, you might be lucky

Nigga, I feel you. You will get a job

Geez I saw him viewing. And in the next minute its on front page! God abeg make this blessing fall upon one of my thread o,specifically my craft own,Amen.
Y'all know who am referring to*winks* lol

You'v said it all. He should act like a man and concentrate of sometin profitable to him. Look I'v been through same and all I need as remedy was to concentrate on work. My carear. For me, being established as a man is the most important thing in life, women shall come, women shall go. If a woman truely loves you, irrespective of status, she'll be with you.

Decker:
Look bro, first things first. I'll advise that you don't relent in your hard work and search for a job, but you shouldn't make the mistake of doing all this with the mindset of winning your girl back.
To be honest with you, the girl made her decision and she chose someone else, someone more financially capable over you, despite the long way you the both of you had come. It's kind of sad, I know, but it's her choice and she has her reasons. She has told you she has moved on and I think you should too. Things like this happen at some point in our lives and when this kind of things happen, the best thing to do is to just wipe the dust of pain and regret off of you and move on with your life. That girl betrayed your love and friendship, all on the altar of having a better life. That tells a lot about her character and what exactly it is she wants from life. Even if you do win her back, which is highly improbable, what's your guarantee that she won't leave you for someone else in future when the going beings to get tough?

The thing about love is that it makes you think that person you are in love with, is the best person out there, but that's not true.
You might think that no one can be as pretty and fun and smart and all those good qualities you admire in her, all in one, but there are actually other girls like that out there, better girls. And out of them, there is one for you. But in other for you to see them, you first have to remove the scales of supposed love from your eyes.
So, stop crying like a baby and get this girl off your mind, free yourself from all the negativity and keep looking for a job and I know you will find one. And when you do find one, work hard to be established in it, and along the line, you will find a right girl who really deserves you.

Guys must stop spending heavily on their girls or wives. Be selfish a bit. You are an elevator to her. If you commit suicide,you prove her right you are a failure. Elevate your status. God bless you.

Baba..no make me believe say u be mumu ooo...so u de beg am lyk ds ...u think say she go still respect u wen una marry...u never c anytn...baba better pinch yaself and wake up...she used u