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Urgent Advice - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:04pm On Mar 10, 2016
I'm back in trouble as she decided not to abort again
Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 9:56pm On Mar 11, 2016
@Deafndumb , U're still a Child i think 23yr. But am 100% sure you don't know what risk is all about.What if ur GF abort only to discover this underage girl isn't ur child after delivery ? Did u even think about this Or u just take decision according to ur mood? Meanwhile If u're Responsible child to your parent a mistake of gettin a girl preg is something dey will understand and ready to take responsibility till you graduate or get a job..WE ALL DONT HAVE THE SAME STORIES IN LIFE..EVERYONE DIFFERENT DRAMA..Even if both of them abort in no time another drama will surface if u doubt me POINT out to someone who's life is perfect.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:02pm On Mar 11, 2016
Tritri:
@Deafndumb , U're still a Child i think 23yr. But am 100% sure you don't know what risk is all about.What if ur GF abort only to discover this underage girl isn't ur child after delivery ? Did u even think about this Or u just take decision according to ur mood? Meanwhile If u're Responsible child to your parent a mistake of gettin a girl preg is something dey will understand and ready to take responsibility till you graduate or get a job..WE ALL DONT HAVE THE SAME STORIES IN LIFE..EVERYONE DIFFERENT DRAMA..Even if both of them abort in no time another drama will surface if u doubt me POINT out to someone who's life is perfect.

Thanks a lot. I don't know what I would have done without ur priceless advice.

But what if both are mine.
Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 10:23pm On Mar 11, 2016
That why i said it a risk..Calculate ur risk and follow up.
But for me..I believe ur GF cannot kip the preg she is only trying to put pain in U as a payback.

That small girl is still confused and until delivery i wount even think/talk about it.

Meanwhile U've made a mistake which could make u a Millionaire or the opposite as procreation is part of life and an Investment..Only U can take the best decision.Good Luck.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 7:04am On Mar 12, 2016
Tritri:
That why i said it a risk..Calculate ur risk and follow up.
But for me..I believe ur GF cannot kip the preg she is only trying to put pain in U as a payback.

That small girl is still confused and until delivery i wount even think/talk about it.

Meanwhile U've made a mistake which could make u a Millionaire or the opposite as procreation is part of life and an Investment..Only U can take the best decision.Good Luck.



Thanks
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:44pm On Mar 25, 2016
My current challenge is that the mother of the minor gave me a serious hard time last Sunday. She asked all kinds of silly questions of which I responded to some. Whenever she wasn't satisfied with my response, she would go physical on me, curse me including my family. (though I stood up against the curse part)

The issue heated up to the point at which she wanted to involve the police. Luckily for me, with the wisdom of God, she changed her mind.

When I met with my parents, I was so infuriated, because of the way I was humiliated by the minors mother and aunt, I poured out everything I knew.

My parents strongly advised me against visiting until a meeting is held with her family. My parents wants to notify her family that they are aware that there are other potential father(s).

Initial when I heard about the other potential father, I was worried of which I asked her about the issue, she told me that her family only went there because they usually see both (the minor and the other guy) together. She told me she wasn't given the opportunity to express herself until after the boy denied his involvement.

Recently, I discovered they went to the boys place twice because she insisted the other party was responsible. The first time before a scan result and the second after the scan to determine the gestation period of the fetus. She then involved me when her parents decided to get the boy arrested.

I'm really worried about the outcome of this advice. I hope u know some parental advice are kind of command.

Please what do u think I should do.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:47pm On Mar 25, 2016
The minors mum wants to move her from home also to another location
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:49pm On Mar 25, 2016
I also want to ask is it normal for me to take her for antenatal or just pay the bills.
Re: Urgent Advice by veave(f): 10:58pm On Mar 25, 2016
Na sidddon look I day. Something tells me you are a very good story teller... undecided
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:41am On Mar 26, 2016
veave:
Na sidddon look I day. Something tells me you are a very good story teller... undecided

Please don't just siddon gimme advice abeg
Re: Urgent Advice by GodnGold: 12:18pm On Mar 26, 2016
Deafie,now am bored.
Re: Urgent Advice by eyinjuege: 1:01pm On Mar 26, 2016
I'm enjoying the story jare, don't mind others poking fun.

Pls continue... cheesy cheesy
Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 2:56pm On Mar 26, 2016
Hmm. Big issue.
@op what u need to focus on right now is getting a job. Aby way to augment ur income cos ur going to be fathering two children who are possibly yours.
It's never fair to ask your fiance to terminate. U also shouldn't let the minor's parents treat u that way. Tell them ur ready to take up your esponsibilties, but they shouldn't make it like is your fault after all the act was consensual not by force or coercion.
I'm guessing your fiance too would soon bring up ' come and pay my brideprice, I cant have a child out of wedlock' story soon. And all of that would need money.
What you need right now I repeat is sourcing for additional income - legally o. Distance urself from both if possible. Focus on your job and keep sending money and atrending to their needs as required of you. assume ur the fathher of both kids. Delivery would tell which child belongs to whom. Are you even sure your fiance's pregnancy is yours?
The deed has been done, all 3 of you I must say are silly. Really silly. This is it- when they warn u about premarital / unprotected sex, you will not hear word.
i feel sorry for all 3 but u all need to start acting responsible now.
*Btw, ur story would make one interesting fiction. smiley
Deafndumb:
My current challenge is that the mother of the minor gave me a serious hard time last Sunday. She asked all kinds of silly questions of which I responded to some. Whenever she wasn't satisfied with my response, she would go physical on me, curse me including my family. (though I stood up against the curse part)
The issue heated up to the point at which she wanted to involve the police. Luckily for me, with the wisdom of God, she changed her mind.
When I met with my parents, I was so infuriated, because of the way I was humiliated by the minors mother and aunt, I poured out everything I knew.
My parents strongly advised me against visiting until a meeting is held with her family. My parents wants to notify her family that they are aware that there are other potential father(s).
Initial when I heard about the other potential father, I was worried of which I asked her about the issue, she told me that her family only went there because they usually see both (the minor and the other guy) together. She told me she wasn't given the opportunity to express herself until after the boy denied his involvement.
Recently, I discovered they went to the boys place twice because she insisted the other party was responsible. The first time before a scan result and the second after the scan to determine the gestation period of the fetus. She then involved me when her parents decided to get the boy arrested.
I'm really worried about the outcome of this advice. I hope u know some parental advice are kind of command.
Please what do u think I should do.
Sorry o
Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 2:57pm On Mar 26, 2016
Deafndumb:
I also want to ask is it normal for me to take her for antenatal or just pay the bills.
just pay the bills.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 4:04pm On Mar 26, 2016
enieme:

just pay the bills.

Thanks alot
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 4:05pm On Mar 26, 2016
enieme:
Hmm. Big issue.
@op what u need to focus on right now is getting a job. Aby way to augment ur income cos ur going to be fathering two children who are possibly yours.
It's never fair to ask your fiance to terminate. U also shouldn't let the minor's parents treat u that way. Tell them ur ready to take up your esponsibilties, but they shouldn't make it like is your fault after all the act was consensual not by force or coercion.
I'm guessing your fiance too would soon bring up ' come and pay my brideprice, I cant have a child out of wedlock' story soon. And all of that would need money.
What you need right now I repeat is sourcing for additional income - legally o. Distance urself from both if possible. Focus on your job and keep sending money and atrending to their needs as required of you. assume ur the fathher of both kids. Delivery would tell which child belongs to whom. Are you even sure your fiance's pregnancy is yours?
The deed has been done, all 3 of you I must say are silly. Really silly. This is it- when they warn u about premarital / unprotected sex, you will not hear word.
i feel sorry for all 3 but u all need to start acting responsible now.
*Btw, ur story would make one interesting fiction. smileySorry o


I only wish I could turn back time for some months. This is my life and not a fictional story.

Thanks for your contribution
Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 4:43pm On Mar 26, 2016
Deafndumb:


I only wish I could turn back time for some months. This is my life and not a fictional story.

Thanks for your contribution
I believe it's not a fiction. But at the end of the whole thing u could even write a narrative on it.
its not possible so just hang in there, be strong and start doing the right things to atone for the wrongs.
Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 4:44pm On Mar 26, 2016
Deafndumb:


Thanks alot
U wlc....
Re: Urgent Advice by refreshrate: 4:57pm On Mar 26, 2016
ifyalways:
Bush meat don catch hunter.

At this point, just play along with the family, take care of the girl and pregnancy till baby is born then you secretly go for DNA. Stop snooping on her phone and asking her unnecessary questions,make up excuses to delay the marriage, stop sleeping with the girl if you still are.


Best advice as far as I'm concerned

My only other worry is she's a minor & your acceptance still makes you guilty of another crime.

Hoping by the time they find out who the real father is, (& it turns out not to be you) the bruhaha will not make the family come back to focus on this.

All this small small winch pikin dem.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 6:31pm On Mar 26, 2016
Thanks for the comtributions
Re: Urgent Advice by ypeace: 8:28am On Mar 28, 2016
Jackpot! Make these women con born tripplet each...........

Op! To every difficulty, there is a relief. Surely, your relief period is will come.

But with what you wrote here, it seems your parent are not really involved. You seem to be the only one running around. Why not get them involved.

Again, to every difficulty comes relief...... Be patient.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 8:28pm On Mar 28, 2016
eyinjuege:
I'm enjoying the story jare, don't mind others poking fun.

Pls continue... cheesy cheesy

Story. It's my life, it's really messed up right now.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 8:31pm On Mar 28, 2016
ypeace:
Jackpot! Make these women con born tripplet each...........

Op! To every difficulty, there is a relief. Surely, your relief period is will come.

But with what you wrote here, it seems your parent are not really involved. You seem to be the only one running around. Why not get them involved.

Again, to every difficulty comes relief...... Be patient.

Initially, I thought playing along was going to be easy, trust me it isn't. I feel like leaving the ladies involved, but I feel pity for the minor.

I'm having conflict of interest
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 8:32pm On Mar 28, 2016
GodnGold:
Deafie,now am bored.

U think I'm making this up. I seek advice as events unfolds
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:51am On Mar 29, 2016
Please I need urgent advice. My parents wants to set up a meeting with the minors parent regards the possibility of me not being the father of the child, simply just to acknowledge that her family had been to other places before.

Should we hold the meeting or just forget it.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 10:53am On Mar 29, 2016
Important notice:- myself, the minor and my fiancée live in the same neighborhood.

Sooner or later the minors parent will find out about the other pregnancy
Re: Urgent Advice by Nobody: 10:39pm On Mar 29, 2016
EfemenaXY:


When a guy wants to shirk responsibility for a pregnancy that might be his, he suddenly remembers the lady in question is a "whöre" who's had multiple partners in the past. Nothing new there.

It's also expected that you'll paint her character blacker than black in an attempt to exonerate yourself. Nothing new there either, but remember we've only got your side of the story, so we'll be inclined to take what you say here with a pinch of salt / at face value.

The reality is, you're in a tight spot and there isn't much else you can do but play along till the baby is born. Don't get roped into promising marriage. Neither of you are mature enough to handle that and the foundation can best be described as shaky.

Wait till the baby is born then get a DNA test performed to determine if you're the biological father or not, then take it from there. But remember, even if it turns out that you aren't the father, that doesn't absolve you of your misdeed - of sleeping with a minor. You still need to face the consequences of that action and hopefully, you'll learn from it.

Everyone makes mistakes but the important thing is learning from them. In the meantime do all you can to make mother and baby comfortable. Show her family (through your actions) that even though you are remorseful of your misdeeds, you aren't a bad person, but a man willing to take responsibility for his part in this. Start footing some of the bills, ensure she's registered for antenatal care, go with her and demonstrate not just financial but moral support.

Be good to her. So even if it turns out that the child isn't yours, her family will be less inclined to take legal action against you for bedding a minor.

Now is your chance to right your wrongs. It won't be easy but chin up and take heart.

All the best.


nice advice but the thing is, you hardly find an 18yr old virgin anymore which means they get disvirgined as minors which means millions of men would have been thrown into jail if they prosecuted those cases. I've met a minor who's not a virgin and far more experienced than her mother grin enjoy
Re: Urgent Advice by smartigo: 2:16pm On Mar 30, 2016
Deafndumb:
I feel utterly irresponsible
If u start abusing yourself, what is left for me to say. But guy, Wetin dey do ur prick way him too dey jump na? U for at least use condom.

Hmmm..... beg ur woman n disappear before they kill him. But with no job, how will u support ur fiancée? Secondly, it seems u r a young dude going by ur comments recently? Use ur head and weigh the best options available for u. But u no try at all.
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 11:35am On Apr 01, 2016
smartigo:

If u start abusing yourself, what is left for me to say. But guy, Wetin dey do ur prick way him too dey jump na? U for at least use condom.

Hmmm..... beg ur woman n disappear before they kill him. But with no job, how will u support ur fiancée? Secondly, it seems u r a young dude going by ur comments recently? Use ur head and weigh the best options available for u. But u no try at all.

Thanks alot
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 11:39am On Apr 01, 2016
My gf's family is hell, they are far worse than the minors parent.

They came to my place to humiliate me for impregnation their daughter who is still schooling.

Her family is threatening me. Theres a lot to the story that I can't disclose.

I understand they are not happy but they not understanding I far annoying
Re: Urgent Advice by smartigo: 12:31pm On Apr 01, 2016
Deafndumb:
My gf's family is hell, they are far worse than the minors parent.

They came to my place to humiliate me for impregnation their daughter who is still schooling.

Her family is threatening me. Theres a lot to the story that I can't disclose.

I understand they are not happy but they not understanding I far annoying

Guy, wake up na?did you rape their daughter? Don't speak back to them but don't b b push-around fellow. You are only helpless with the minor parents but not your gf's parents. You no get big brother to guide u ni?
Re: Urgent Advice by Deafndumb: 4:31pm On Apr 01, 2016
smartigo:


Guy, wake up na?did you rape their daughter? Don't speak back to them but don't b b push-around fellow. You are only helpless with the minor parents but not your gf's parents. You no get big brother to guide u ni?

No big Bros o

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