I think I understand this now. Because I broke up with my guy i dated for 2years coz he cheated on me. Dated a very honest guy whom i don't think he will ever cheat on me but he is got a baby mama drama. He just found out that mother of his twins moved in at his house back home and now his parents are insisting that he marry her, they even sending her here to him soon. And im not even interested in fighting this coz its a loosing battle.
So now I'm considering getting back with my guy as he has been apologizing and begging me to take him back. Why is this love thing so confusing?

sexybabes:

I think I understand this now. Because I broke up with my guy i dated for 2years coz he cheated on me. Dated a very honest guy whom i don't think he will ever cheat on me but he is got a baby mama drama. He just found out that mother of his twins moved in at his house back home and now his parents are insisting that he marry her, they even sending her here to him soon. And im not even interested in fighting this coz its a loosing battle.
So now I'm considering getting back with my guy as he has been apologizing and begging me to take him back. Why is this love thing so confusing?

more like why are people in love so confussing or why do people complicate love? love is not confusing.

You can forgive him if you want to but i always say i'm better than this i know my worth so why should i settle for less.I'll keep looking till i get what good for me.After good things don't come easily.

@pc guru
I dont know if i will be settling for less but what i do know is that we have been through a lot together and I wanted him to apologize a long time, he just took his damn time to do that, that is why I was even moving on and the experience i got from this next guy showed me his own wahala was better than this one.

GEW:

more like why are people in love so confussing or why do people complicate love? love is not confusing.

Still goes down to the confusing part coz if it wasn't like that we wud all be happy and end up with the people that we supposed to be with.

Your story sef dey somehow

Ujujoan:

Your story sef dey somehow

Meaning?

sexybabes:

Still goes down to the confusing part coz if it wasn't like that we wud all be happy and end up with the people that we supposed to be with.

very true but like Jesus said it was so in the beginning.  most of us live in error or what i call  wrong relationships yet we expect not to have these shakings.  how do you stay in a house with a wrong foundation and expect your pictures to be still hanging properly after one year?

someone said God only confirms truth not errors.  we want to be able to see johny today and jump into bed with him by weekend and probably marry by september.

lets learn the virtue of waiting.  good things comes to those who wait my dear.  yes it is hard but very good for your health and destiny.

Nne biko forgive him. He has gone round the world and could not find someone like u, just like u lost d other guy to someone else. This happened cos both of u were meant to be.

Sexybabes, most at times i prefer to go with this school of thought, though debatable its said that in most relationship the spouse probably has 80% of what the other person expects from him/her and should be able to make do with the 20% lacking or discuss how to make the 80, 90% thereabout over time, while the partner might complain and walk out from the relationship cos of the "20%" he/she will soon realize the new found love might not get a good score not to talk of an average.

If you are sure your former guy is still in love with you and since you mentioned you've been through a lot together, i'll suggest you give him a try again while you watch your back, the 80% might be in there

Wish you good luck

GEW:

very true but like Jesus said it was so in the beginning.  most of us live in error or what i call  wrong relationships yet we expect not to have these shakings.  how do you stay in a house with a wrong foundation and expect your pictures to be still hanging properly after one year?

someone said God only confirms truth not errors.  we want to be able to see johny today and jump into bed with him by weekend and probably marry by september.
lets learn the virtue of waiting.  good things comes to those who wait my dear.  yes it is hard but very good for your health and destiny.

How do u explain, those that wait even almost for a lifetime nd still end up seperating?

sexybabes:

I think I understand this now. Because I broke up with my guy i dated for 2years coz he cheated on me. Dated a very honest guy whom i don't think he will ever cheat on me but he is got a baby mama drama. He just found out that mother of his twins moved in at his house back home and now his parents are insisting that he marry her, they even sending her here to him soon. And im not even interested in fighting this coz its a loosing battle.
So now I'm considering getting back with my guy as he has been apologizing and begging me to take him back. Why is this love thing so confusing?

@Poster,
So you are aware he had a woman back home with twins before you fell in love(so to speak) with him? There are many loose ends in this your story but I'll say this, You think love is confusing because you aren't getting it right.

The fact that he once cheated on u means he's definitely gonna cheat again.

the only difference is that he will be more careful now so he doesnt

get caught. love is confusing becuz after a while u get used to the

person's flaws and kind of learn to adapt. and there's no angel out

there, we r all devils in our own ways. dont go back to that guy. u

seem to have a broken heart that has healed. dont shatter it by

making a big mistake.

@iice                              
I ges that say "u dont know what you have until u loose it" is very much true.
     
@IFELEKE                          
I only knew about baby mama when the guy was stressed after finding out that she moved in, thats when he had to tell me everything.  
Maybe u right about not getting love right that's why its confusing me. But i wish r/s cud be not this complicated.

@sexylogan,
jus notice that our name both start wit sexy. Lol!!! I am scared 2 that he might cheat on me again, 1 of the reasons why im takin this long 2 4give him. My head is teln me this & my heart is sayn different thing. & the experience i got aftr thinking i cud 4get abt him hasnt help me @ all.

@poster
pls disregard ifeleke's post
he's a wanted man in FBI list abroad
after moving barrels of fuel from the refinery to his bakyard somewhere
in Ojo-ota 4 local sales

@190
I take it u the FBI(Female Body Inspector)

i dont think its wise to go back.
ur ex, does he not know u dated this other guy?

i just think its wiser to let your past be gone.
there isno sense with present and past devils,
they are all devils to me. be they small or big.

Its better the devil you know than the angel you don't know.

Haba, why should you prefer a known devil to an unknown angel? Generally, there should be no comparison. A devil is devilish and an angel is angelic. You should rather say "A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush" or "The devil you know is better than the devils you don't know ". Think about this.

If you can not find an angel better remain with your known devil, because the devil you know is better the devils you don't know. Chikenan.

@izeek
I gave this a lot of thought and still haven't come up with a wise answer. I don't know, maybe i will be making the biggest mistake of my life or maybe it won't be that bad but how will i know all this if i don't give it a try. Do i listen to what my mind is telling me or do i listen to what my heart is telling me. Its a lot of maybes, its not a sure case. Life is full of trials and errors and the is never a guarantee so are relationships, one just have to hope it works for you. And to answer your question he doesn't know that i dated someone after our breakup.

jamace:

Haba, why should you prefer a known devil to an unknown angel? Generally, there should be no comparison. A devil is devilish and an angel is angelic. You should rather say "A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush" or "The devil you know is better than the devils you don't know ". Think about this.

If you can not find an angel better remain with your known devil, because the devil you know is better the devils you don't know. Chikenan.

I think you putted it better than i did. Coz even the one who seems like an angel turned out to have baggage that is too much for me to bare.
So you are so right to say the devil you know is better than the devil u don't know.

devil is devil and always diabolical so in my book no devil is good.

GEW:

devil is devil and always diabolical so in my book no devil is good.

True, but is there a saint in this world?

sexybabes:

I think I understand this now. Because I broke up with my guy i dated for 2years coz he cheated on me. Dated a very honest guy whom i don't think he will ever cheat on me but he is got a baby mama drama. He just found out that mother of his twins moved in at his house back home and now his parents are insisting that he marry her, they even sending her here to him soon. And im not even interested in fighting this coz its a loosing battle.
So now I'm considering getting back with my guy as he has been apologizing and begging me to take him back. Why is this love thing so confusing?

feasy1:

Sexybabes, most at times i prefer to go with this school of thought, though debatable its said that in most relationship the spouse probably has 80% of what the other person expects from him/her and should be able to make do with the 20% lacking or discuss how to make the 80, 90% thereabout over time, while the partner might complain and walk out from the relationship cos of the "20%" he/she will soon realize the new found love might not get a good score not to talk of an average.

If you are sure your former guy is still in love with you and since you mentioned you've been through a lot together, i'll suggest you give him a try again while you watch your back, the 80% might be in there

Wish you good luck

i believe both of you should know dat not less 75% of guys in a relationship do cheat on their gurl friends. the fact that they do this does not mean they dont love their gf. most guyz in a relationship give 80% to their gf and 20% to the gurls they cheat with. and i think that is fair enough. likewise girls, they also have guyz whom they love and give 80% and at they same time they give 20% to the one they cheat with. i am in a serious relationship for 5yrs now and i do cheat on my gurl friend ones in a while but the truth is that i love her 99% and any other gurl is 1% to me at least until we get married. so let me tell you dat it will be diff to get a 100% man.
cheers

009kk:

i believe both of you should know dat not less 75% of guys in a relationship do cheat on their gurl friends. the fact that they do this does not mean they dont love their gf. most guyz in a relationship give 80% to their gf and 20% to the gurls they cheat with. and i think that is fair enough. likewise girls, they also have guyz whom they love and give 80% and at they same time they give 20% to the one they cheat with. i am in a serious relationship for 5yrs now and i do cheat on my gurl friend ones in a while but the truth is that i love her 99% and any other gurl is 1% to me at least until we get married. so let me tell you dat it will be diff to get a 100% man.
cheers

Thats what they say you are most likely to cheat again in marriage. what you have been doing for the past 5years in a serious relationship will not leave u immediately after marriage if the opportunity presents itself again (and believe me it will) you are most likely to fall.
@poster why not leave both of them for the main time and sort yourself out? you already have this fear about your ex, if you must date him again you have to totally deal with it unless it will come and haunt you in future even when he is totally innocent

009kk:

i believe both of you should know dat not less 75% of guys in a relationship do cheat on their gurl friends. the fact that they do this does not mean they dont love their gf. most guyz in a relationship give 80% to their gf and 20% to the gurls they cheat with. and i think that is fair enough. likewise girls, they also have guyz whom they love and give 80% and at they same time they give 20% to the one they cheat with. i am in a serious relationship for 5yrs now and i do cheat on my gurl friend ones in a while but the truth is that i love her 99% and any other gurl is 1% to me at least until we get married. so let me tell you dat it will be diff to get a 100% man.
cheers

When i was so angry at him & a friend of mine told me what her mom said to her when her bf cheated on her that 95% men cheats & 5% is taken. I felt like screaming, imagine that coming from a grown up woman like that.

When i was so angry at him & a friend of mine told me what her mom said to her when her bf cheated on her that 95% men cheats & 5% is taken. I felt like screaming, imagine that coming from a grown up woman like that.

@ sexybabes the mom is damn right. most married women even know that their hubbys cheat on them sometimes but they still continue to love him becos he never shys away from his family responsiblities. i have a uncle in one of the higher universities in the south south. we all know he cheats on his wife and i strongly believe the wife knws that too because his name was pasted in a website that he sleeps with female students alot. but i tell you he does not joke with his family

touchmeder:

Thats what they say you are most likely to cheat again in marriage. what you have been doing for the past 5years in a serious relationship will not leave u immediately after marriage if the opportunity presents itself again (and believe me it will) you are most likely to fall.

@ touchmeder i know i will not cheat on her when we get married. there was a tym i made up my mind that i was not going to do that and believe me, for one and a half year i did not cheat becos i made up my mind not to do it

009kk:

@ sexybabes the mom is damn right. most married women even know that their hubbys cheat on them sometimes but they still continue to love him becos he never shys away from his family responsiblities. i have a uncle in one of the higher universities in the south south. we all know he cheats on his wife and i strongly believe the wife knws that too because his name was pasted in a website that he sleeps with female students alot. but i tell you he does not joke with his family

But still it hurts and very hard to accept.

@ sexybabes
i know it hurts badly but just have to take it like that. my advice is that if your ex is sincere that he wants you back and you still love him,go ahead. but if things does not workout well move ahead with life and when you come across another guy don't expect 100% from him that he will not cheat. good luck my dear i really feel for you.the moment my girlfriend agreed that we start dating, we prayed together that evening commiting the relationship to God so please be prayerful because that is one thing that has sustained my relationship for the past 5yrs is that we pray together for the relationship and by His grace we will get married soon.
Cheers!

@ sexybabes
i know it hurts badly but just have to take it like that. my advice is that if your ex is sincere that he wants you back and you still love him,go ahead. but if things does not workout well move ahead with life and when you come across another guy don't expect 100% from him that he will not cheat. good luck my dear i really feel for you.the moment my girlfriend agreed that we start dating, we prayed together that evening commiting the relationship to God so please be prayerful because that is  one thing that has sustained my relationship for the past 5yrs is that we pray together for the relationship and by His grace we will get married soon.
Cheers!

009kk:

@ sexybabes
i know it hurts badly but just have to take it like that. my advice is that if your ex is sincere that he wants you back and you still love him,go ahead. but if things does not workout well move ahead with life and when you come across another guy don't expect 100% from him that he will not cheat. good luck my dear i really feel for you.the moment my girlfriend agreed that we start dating, we prayed together that evening commiting the relationship to God so please be prayerful because that is  one thing that has sustained my relationship for the past 5yrs is that we pray together for the relationship and by His grace we will get married soon.
Cheers!

Thank you. I am very happy for you and your gal. My ex seems to be sincere for now, i don't know how many times he called and text me this evening alone. But only him knows his intentions, if only a person's heart was not a secret the world would be a better place for all of us.

Poster, FOllow you damn heart.