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New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend - Romance - Nairaland

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New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by sagluva(f): 9:41pm On Jul 07, 2009
I have been seeing this guy for about two months. Alot of the time we have been on the phone talking to each other for hours. We always talk about our past r and he always brings up his recent ex all the time. I've began to wonder if he still has feelings for her. I asked him and he said no. He just misses alot of things about the relationship. He broke up with her because she had to go away to school and said she still wants him but he doesnt want her and they dont communicate. My problem is that i feel its heartless for him to always be telling me about his ex. i've told him that and he says he'll stop but he always still brings her up. i really love him but i dont want to get involved with someone who is still thinking about their ex. this is my first serious relationship. Do you guys think he may still have feelings for his ex or is it normal for guys to talk about their exes and miss things about the relationship if they dont have feelings for em? help please.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by Nobody: 10:57pm On Jul 07, 2009
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Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by sexyLeamon(f): 8:17am On Jul 08, 2009
It depends if What he is saying , If you started dating him after not too long if his seperation from his ex Girlfriend , he might feel the need to tell you how he feels about things and maybe it will xplain a little bit of his behavior and actions with you , maybe he is trying to tell you what he went through so you dont repeat the same things , BUT if he is talking about her and reminiscing , saying how pretty she was or how nice she was then you dont want to be with this guy , the moment she pops back into his Life he will go back to her and you will hurt.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by Gentlelady(f): 9:34am On Jul 08, 2009
chaircover:

He is not totally detached from his ex and you are just filling a stop gap
This is the most romantic period of a relationship and you should be enjoying that rather than playing second best.
Please leave the guy. He is not ready for you yet.

I totally agree!
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by SamMilla1(m): 10:29am On Jul 08, 2009
chaircover:

He is not totally detached from his ex and you are just filling a stop gap

This is the most romantic period of a relationship and you should be enjoying that rather than playing second best.

Please leave the guy. He is not ready for you yet.



In my opinion, i dont agree with that.
The guy just left a relationship and like you said , he is not totally detached.
This is a plain guy who instead of pretending, opens up about his ex-girl.
The new girl should take advantage of that to make things betterĀ  for herself unless she is dumb.

My girlfriend used to talk about her ex as well.
I paid attention very well to know all the things the boy did that she loved.
And things the boy did that she hated.
That was the easiest way for me to study her.
(example : the day the boy left her at the church and went home alone, She was so furios )
(The boy speaks his native language when they are together, Now i avoid that)

We must learn to use our heads sometimes and not live by the examles of failed relatuionships.

So my advice goes thus : Dont leave him, there is no ready made man out there.

Try to take advantage of the situation in a way.
Just find out what he talks about the girl
and make use of them positively.
You will be fine
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by izeek(m): 10:36am On Jul 08, 2009
well the reason they brokeup in the first place was just not strong enough for him to stop loving her.
what if she comes back to the same location where he is?
i just think its a 50-50 thing.
u either stay and hope for the best or leave now and find some1 else.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by tosyne007(m): 12:52pm On Jul 08, 2009
really, u can't stop someone (guy/babe) from talking about their ex if the break-up is till fresh but it shouldn't be a regular thing. When it becomes a day-to-day thing, then somtin is wrong and it simply means the person is not "LETTING GO" of the ex and anything could happen if the ex shows his/her face again.

so, i will advise u study the guy seriously and make a decision quick, that is "whether to stay and make him forget his ex" OR " u call it quits and wait fo the right guy to come" (that could be a painful thing to do but it;s worth it)

best of luck
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by iice(f): 12:53pm On Jul 08, 2009
chaircover:

He is not totally detached from his ex and you are just filling a stop gap

This is the most romantic period of a relationship and you should be enjoying that rather than playing second best.

Please leave the guy. He is not ready for you yet.

That is what happens when people jump into relationships without taking time to heal
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by ThoniaSlim(f): 1:09pm On Jul 08, 2009
Clearly he ain't over his ex yet. . .so high chances are you might just be a rebound. . .the question here is. . .Can you really tolerate this or do you drop him like its hot? The ball's in your court gal!
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by frank317: 1:42pm On Jul 08, 2009
perhaps u should start talkign about ur own ex to him

or u leave for sometime to recover from his ex
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by sagluva(f): 5:57pm On Jul 08, 2009
thx for the advice. him and his ex broke up like 8 months ago. She came back for the summer and they ran into each other and even though she has a bf, she still wants him. we were just talking then when this incident happened and he told me that he wants nothing to do with her and that if he wants her, he can easily have her because she will come to him but he still talks about her alot. Like for ex: he'll always tell me stories about their past, bad and good. when i ask if he misses her, he just says that he just misses some of the things she did and that he was very comfortable in the relationship but doesnt want her.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by amadiva1: 3:41am On Aug 11, 2009
you have three options in dealing with this situation.
1. ditch him
2. tell him how you feel about his incessant rantings grin about his ex .its making you uncomfortable
3. ditch him if after nos 2 there is no change
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by dyabman(m): 3:44am On Aug 11, 2009
dont call , text or see him for days,
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by sweetpie23: 9:17am On Aug 23, 2009
he doesn't love you dumb his ass before he dumb you
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by MoneyRule(m): 9:26am On Aug 23, 2009
I totally second sexyleamon's post.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by Phony200(m): 9:54am On Aug 23, 2009
A friend of mine was in an affair like this. Guy fresh from a long relationship break, she wanted him, he used her for his rebound period and when he saw his ex again, he went straight right back. It doesn't always happen like this but you'd always play second fiddle, sounding board and God forbid sexual release equipment till he either goes back to his ex or comes to realise who and what you are to him. The level of your patience to wait while he gets over her is a factor here, the certainty you have that he's ready to start with you is another one. Keep your eyes open and listen for innuendos and things like "if i had another chance" kind of talk to guage the level you are. Most importantly, let him know how you feel.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by Phony200(m): 9:54am On Aug 23, 2009
@sweetpie
He may love her and not know it yet.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by Kelvinj(m): 10:26am On Aug 23, 2009
@poster
jst be frndz wit d dude 4 naw until he's totally in2 u if not u'll be only hurtn ursef.
Jst take it easy lol
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by nex(m): 10:59am On Aug 23, 2009
The guy is just a story teller. He feels inadequate and the relationship is not as spicy as you thought it would be so he's using fantastic tales about his ex to compensate and to make you see him as a lover whom really he's not.


Whenever he tells all these tales, just make sure your only reply to him is "Oh Really?".
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by sweetpie23: 6:12am On Aug 26, 2009
Phony200:

@sweetpie
He may love her and not know it yet.
Re: New Guy Always Talks About His Ex Girlfriend by AIRMARSHA: 8:28am On Aug 26, 2009
he might be taken you as a rebound.

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