Some day, she will break your brother's head.

Miami11:

[s]
Do you consult her before giving out stuff from the house, maybe she has plans to use them and don't like when you give them out.
You are in a patnership it does not hurt to consult her before giving out stuff,

Some people are not used to extend families, some people were just brought up in nuclear family so getting used to people who have to support the whole village is hard,

People have different personalities, I remember when my sister in law came to my house and put on my clothing without permission, it drove me crazy, I did not grow up with sisters, so I wasn't used to sharing. She on the other hand have 7 sisters and they share everything.

Poster this is not a big deal, maybe she likes hanging on to old stuff, just try learn and work with her. [/s]

You need to see a psychologist.

Acidosis:


You need to see a psychologist.

You might need to get married first, to even offer an advice

Acidosis:



Some day, she will break your brother's head.

calculator123:
u married a self centered stingy,proud and troublesome woman.let her know her behaviour isn't good and u aren't happy with it.

Bros....i already tried this severally and it yeilded nothing....infact she doesnt even want to behavior is/was bad....

Miami11:

You might need to get married first, to even offer an advice

I was raised in a peaceful nuclear family so I understand the meaning of marriage. OP married the wrong person, he ignored the warning signs. Its as simple as ABC.

Did you read where the wife finds it easy to help her OWN sisters, but the sight of her husband assisting her brother in law drives her craz.y?

Your anti-men principles should not becloud your ability to rationally analyse issues.

Saying "this is not a big deal" is not proper please. How did you arrive at "she loves hanging on old stuffs"? Is the property hers? The marriage is barely 1 year, what is she hanging on please? What is old about an electronic she didn't buy with her money?

@OP, Please put that woman in her place. Such a woman does not deserve to know how, where and when you spend your hard earned money. It is your money, your property and how you use it on your brother is not her business.

If you ignore your brother, trust me another helper will locate him but one thing is certain: NOTHING is PERMANENT.

gidjah:
No hard feelings bro, but to break some of her attitudes, you must try pushing her into service o, else na heart attack u want take play o!,most of dem are like dat, my own too no different,but she is into church and christ now, she has pretty change, she is a ldr now in d church.pls learn to draw lines o, most of this ladies need to know u r firm and fair,they will try you and tempt you always to know your soft spots, once you fall for such,they will begn to play psychology on you.you should atimes stamp you feet to d heavens over ur decisions like this o,...but i might not want to say few things here in d open for security reasons and immature young ones on this forum.you may wish to contact me ,we can be friends na,abi?08181250960.God bless you sir

thanks.....i just saved ur contact...will give you a call tomorrow morning....

She's myopic in her thinking. No condition is permanent. She really has no sense whatsoever. We all need help one way or the other. No man is an Island. OP, I can assure u this: if what u say about her attitude is true, then she does not love you. You married the wrong woman. Sorry about that

Miami11:
Do you consult her before giving out stuff from the house, maybe she has plans to use them and don't like when you give them out.
You are in a patnership it does not hurt to consult her before giving out stuff,

Some people are not used to extend families, some people were just brought up in nuclear family so getting used to people who have to support the whole village is hard,

People have different personalities, I remember when my sister in law came to my house and put on my clothing without permission, it drove me crazy, I did not grow up with sisters, so I wasn't used to sharing. She on the other hand have 7 sisters and they share everything.

Poster this is not a big deal, maybe she likes hanging on to old stuff, just try learn and work with her.

Thanks for the advice..i wish it is as easy as you are saying it....you are lady and most likely not married....i am a guy...married with brothers who all assisted me growing up and supporting each other...
She has sisters and brothers....and she helps them often...and i even commend her when she does it...so why should mine be different....?

Most of the items i even give my sibling are items i consider old and outdated and i always buy a replacement even before giving the old them out....!!.To be a bit more specific....during my moveout..i had to leave the refrigerator in my former apartment coz she insisted heavily that i shouldnt give my brother even after i bought a brand new one....

yemi16:

Thanks for the advice..i wish it is as easy as you are saying it....you are lady and most likely not married....i am a guy...married with brothers who all assisted me growing up and supporting each other...
She has sisters and brothers....and she helps them often...and i even commend her when she does it...so why should mine be different....?

Most of the items i even give my sibling are items i consider old and outdated and i always buy a replacement even before giving the old them out....!!.To be a bit more specific....during my moveout..i had to leave the refrigerator in my former apartment coz she insisted heavily that i shouldnt give my brother even after i bought a brand new one....

What is her explanation, maybe she wants you to do something like open your brother a business so he can become self reliant than giving him monthly handouts, am sure she has an answer, am just trying to help you put the marriage in place, so you people don't break up, have a heart to heart conversation on this issue.
You are already married it is up to you to find solutions to a peaceful home.

Miami11:

What is her explanation, maybe she wants you to do something like open your brother a business so he can become self reliant than giving him monthly handouts, am sure she has an answer, am just trying to help you put the marriage in place, so you people don't break up, have a heart to heart conversation on this issue.
You are already married it is up to you to find solutions to a peaceful home.

I tried talking it with her but nothing came out....i will try again when we makeup....or better out, when she comes to apologize....coz i am not going to this time.....

Miami11:
Do you consult her before giving out stuff from the house, maybe she has plans to use them and don't like when you give them out.
You are in a patnership it does not hurt to consult her before giving out stuff,

Some people are not used to extend families, some people were just brought up in nuclear family so getting used to people who have to support the whole village is hard,

People have different personalities, I remember when my sister in law came to my house and put on my clothing without permission, it drove me crazy, I did not grow up with sisters, so I wasn't used to sharing. She on the other hand have 7 sisters and they share everything.

Poster this is not a big deal, maybe she likes hanging on to old stuff, just try learn and work with her.

You see, I attended a boarding school and I'm not used to sharing things, doesnt mean I can give out...we all have our differences.
Dear op, I think you should read this very well..
Wifey might just be angry you didn't discuss with her earlier before acting or your wife might just want you to settle your brother financially so that he won't come running to you every now and then.
I appreciate and admire men who learn to give out to other people, it shows you care a lot about your family's welfare.
Above all, remember marriages is a partnership with you been the biggest shareholder, discuss with her...good and effective communication is the bedrock of a long and successful marriage.

Wishing you all the best.

I will not bother reading other comments as I don't want to cloud my judgement. U hv three options

1) be stern on her and make it a LAW that she shld never interfere in such matters, afterall, it's ur money.
2) hide and give ur brother whatever assistance u deem fit
3) report her to your Pastor and ask him to call her to order.

Actually, I think no 3 shld be done no matter what option u choose,

Most importantly sir, your wife is your first and most impt family as far as God is concerned, don't treat her like an outsider, ur brother has his own wife n he confides in her with tins he can never share wit u, ur wife is ur wife. Mould her to what u want. Teach her, reprimand her, discipline her(in love), u are now her father so the training continues, mould her to the woman u want.
We women secretly like it when our husbands "train" us.

All d best.

Acidosis:



Some day, she will break your brother's head.

Yemi16
I wonder what she will do to you when you in that condition

Pls stop feeding your bro
Get him a business to do so he can be earning too

Can't believe some people are actually trying to rationalize and explain this woman's action.

@yemi16, what you have there on your hands, in your house, and in humanoid form, is a witch - the modern posh kind.

Why would a normal woman be angry that you're giving out stuff she did not buy to your brother or anyone else for that matter?

Acidosis:


You need to see a psychologist.

That be the true true...

Time for you to get a mistress outside. Person no go die cos of wife.

crackhaus:


@yemi16, what you have there on your hands, in your house, and in humanoid form, is a witch - the modern posh kind




That be the true true...

Atlantian:
Time for you to get a mistress outside. Person no go die cos of wife.

.....

Miami11:

What is her explanation, maybe she wants you to do something like open your brother a business so he can become self reliant than giving him monthly handouts, am sure she has an answer, am just trying to help you put the marriage in place, so you people don't break up, have a heart to heart conversation on this issue.
You are already married it is up to you to find solutions to a peaceful home.

If it was him doing this to the wife,will u have said all this? You claimed that you bought "a house" without ur husband knowledge because it is ur money and as u lot call it "enemy of progress" whenever the husband demand 2 know.so why are u now telling him 2 explain 2her?
u can't just keep being one sided and demand 4 equality anytime it's about a woman.be objective sometimes.
She is EVIL,period and he has everyright to help his brother as long as it is HIS MONEY.

dytbabe:






Yemi16
I wonder what she will do to you when you in that condition

Pls stop feeding your bro
Get him a business to do so he can be earning too

Bros...u can see the job situation in the country.....its not so easy to get job anywhere....just in december...almost one quarter of my company staff were laid off....]I am scouting around and he has also been aplying online as much as he can..unfortunately its not been possible to get one o far...so i really need to keep helping pending when he can stand again...

thanks for the advice!

yvelchstores:
I will not bother reading other comments as I don't want to cloud my judgement. U hv three options

1) be stern on her and make it a LAW that she shld never interfere in such matters, afterall, it's ur money.
2) hide and give ur brother whatever assistance u deem fit
3) report her to your Pastor and ask him to call her to order.

Actually, I think no 3 shld be done no matter what option u choose,

Most importantly sir, your wife is your first and most impt family as far as God is concerned, don't treat her like an outsider, ur brother has his own wife n he confides in her with tins he can never share wit u, ur wife is ur wife. Mould her to what u want. Teach her, reprimand her, discipline her(in love), u are now her father so the training continues, mould her to the woman u want.
We women secretly like it when our husbands "train" us.

All d best.

Thanks dear...for the first time i am seeing an unbiased advice from a lady.....and i really appreciate ur sincerity and openness...before doing option 1 and 2, i'd try todo 3 first...

afilaka:
I don't like ladies dat ar like that,she must be a stingy and selfish person,u shuld caution her and make her to understand dat no1 s above the trials of life n ur bro s just passing tru his bt al shall pass. Bible sayz itz more bless to give dan receive.

its funny that women re d first to throw stones at their fellow women.

the woman might not have a problem with d giving aspects but she needed to be informed before her husband gives out those properties.


imagine the man comes to pick her sewing machine or tv without her husband informing her.

Do let her know anytime you want to help others. BTW, ori gal yen o pe. I pray you don't loose your job or sth

Since u said what u pointed out here is her only, then to me, you do not have much problems.

If you doubt me, then ask married folks here, many of them has this kind of problems and many more yet they choose to tolerate.

Just to tell you that 70 percent of women are like her. It is natural for women to safe-guard that which they hold tenaciously to but I pray she doesn't over do though.

My advice?
I am not in any way supporting ur wife's action, but I all could think of now is for God to give u d grace to tolerate her in any way u could and change her mind-set soon.

I am a married lady and I wont support your wife. Women are known to be sacrificial and always eager to help.

Sorry you married a stingy woman or probably she does not like your family. Has she ever sat down to think if it was the other way round?

Nobody knows tomorrow. Infact I support the poster that says she needs to be active in church.

Oga just apply wisdom like wise king solomon would do. Let her be in d dark whenever you want to help them. Case closed.

mizquote:



its funny that women re d first to throw stones at their fellow women.

the woman might not have a problem with d giving aspects but she needed to be informed before her husband gives out those properties.


imagine the man comes to pick her sewing machine or tv without her husband informing her.

Very wise of you, my initial sentiments, maybe she is worried for the future and would rather you invest wisely, I don't think she is a bad woman.

Richy4:
I do not think you married the wrong person. she was just being protective of her territory...most women does.....and some over do it and it became selfish in their own part which I believe was the case of your wife....
It was you who will explain to her that you came from a knitted family and there's nothing anyone can do to separate you guys....How you present your family is how your wife will take them.....
I also suggest that no matter how passionate you are, even in the heat of passion, do not bring your family matters to her anymore. You can always discourse any financial help you wanna render to your family during break in your place of work.... transfer any cash you wanna give to them electronically and avoid letting them come to your place for now
If you want to meet them you can always go to their house... let her be the one to ask you how come you do not go to your brother's house or discuss them anymore...All these was just for peace to reign...
besides, You must have learned that as soon as you get married, there are some sacrifices, adjustment, things that you needed to endure just for the sake of peace....It's not every time one has the energy for heated arguments and shouting matches...

I agree with you, all women are territorial, wisdom is needed here this is not even an issue considering the marriage is only one year old.

ijinlove20:
Since u said what u pointed out here is her only, then to me, you do not have much problems.

If you doubt me, then ask married folks here, many of them has this kind of problems and many more yet they choose to tolerate.

Just to tell you that 70 percent of women are like her. It is natural for women to safe-guard that which they hold tenaciously to but I pray she doesn't over do though.

My advice?
I am not in any way supporting ur wife's action, but I all could think of now is for God to give u d grace to tolerate her in any way u could and change her mind-set soon.

I agree with you, you are so on point, especially this being a young marriage they still have a lot of time to learn each other and adjust to each other ways.
Most women are either possessive or over protective of everything, it just takes a whole lot of wisdom and understanding to work together. I don't see this as a major issue.

yemi16:


Thanks dear...for the first time i am seeing an unbiased advice from a lady.....and i really appreciate ur sincerity and openness...before doing option 1 and 2, i'd try todo 3 first...

I hardly ever comment on nl but I had to do this to stop you from making a mistake.

please,please ,please , do not invite a 3rd party into your marriage. It is the first step in bringing cracks into your marriage. Your pastor at this point is a 3rd party.

This issue isn't something you can't handle. I guarantee you that you would lose some respect from your wife if you invite a 3rd party on this issue just 6 months into your marriage.

In the early stages of any r/ship or marriage , women tend to push the boundaries to know the extent of what a man can take. I believe you have been too soft on her so she now throws tantrums and acts up.

Bro , this is the time to be firm without being harsh. The ground rules you lay now will most likely guide your family from now on. It seems you are the one that always go begging when you guys fight , STOP it, it's not healthy as it can be used as a tool to manipulate you.

Ignore her for now so she would know that this issue is very important to you and hence non negotiable. when she gets tired of sulking and eventually comes around , let her know how dissapointed you are about her attitude and warn her you wouldn't want that to happen again.

This is the time to be the man, husband and leader and not outsourcing your job to your pastor.
If she is truly a decent lady , she would eventually appreciate you the more for being the man and showing leadership.

Yemi

You need to put your foot on the ground. Tell her this is what you want and it's not for discussion.

This is the time to set boundaries and what you do now would set the tone for the rest of your marriage.

As long as you're not taking her personal items to give out then it's none of her business

If she's not satisfied let her bounce. If she decide to give her sister her used items does she ask for your permission? Or which kain rubbish is that

If she's not pregnant yet. Put a hold on raising a family with this type of woman. She's evil. If you don't curtail her right now by the time she finished with you.

Erase all those lovey dovey from your head. This is marriage. Your wife is a calculating evil woman it's time to put on your thinking cap

You're helping people and she's mad who knows who would end up helping you or your kids in life

With that kind of demonic wife, blessings would be far away from you.

No need to hide and give behind her. Tell her you want to give and that's it.

All those going to beg her sef. Guy Yemi you don Bleep up and she don see you finish. She even get mind to para for you

In any any relationship, never lose control seems you're losing control in this already

Don't stop helping your brother please.
Mtchew.

Miami11:

I agree with you, you are so on point, especially this being a young marriage they still have a lot of time to learn each other and adjust to each other ways.
Most women are either possessive or over protective of everything, it just takes a whole lot of wisdom and understanding to work together. I don't see this as a major issue.

Glad you got my point