yemi16:


Yea..that is the only problem i have with her...but its a big one for me and i dont see myself not thinking/talking about it...i want a united and peaceful extended family...thanks for the advice though!

if that's what you want then why must your wife know when and how you help your brother? There are things your wife must not know or when you do them for peace to reign.

scantee:



yes ur Lordship

jes checked,didnt get ur messages

yemi16:
, i 'd like to say apologizing to her is completely out of it. ...i have done this severally in the past and its is making her more powerful by the day.....a man is gat to be a man sometimes.....firm, rigid and

Stupid? Sorry, couldn't resist.

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

Am so convinced you saw the signs but you overlooked them because of the love you have for her which is now going sour because of her nagging attitude.

Left to me, if i saw these signs before marriage & still find it difficult to let go off of the lady then i will have a prenuptial agreement before marriage. Which is "she misbehaves during marriage & looses all" not just this, we will also go our separate ways.
Better live as a divorced man & go to hell rather than force myself through a marriage of unending ruckus and still go to hell. Either ways i will still end up in hell.

Just my opinion though!

Op, I'd like to add my 2kobo, although this post is old by now but your marriage is for a lifetime. Please still read and consider this.

First of all, what we forget in life are the principles of dealings, more so you being a Christian.
Marriage is a godly institution, was originated by God, and must be founded upon Him. I will not join the league of those who say get a mistress, show her that you're the man or any other thing unlike what's becoming of a true Christian.

yemi16:

To be a bit more specific....during my moveout..i had to leave the refrigerator in my former apartment coz she insisted heavily that i shouldnt give my brother even after i bought a brand new one....

To be sincere, the first thought i had while i read through a bit was that, wow this woman acts like a wi*ch. Because she'd rather have you throw something in the bin than give your brother how much more an outsider?

Please i say this because you are a Christian so I'd like people who have other beliefs aside being a Christian to respect our view.
Do people still search for God fearing these days?
Do people even understand the meaning/necessity of someone being God fearing?
I ask those questions because in your courtship days according to what you shared you weren't seeking for the relevances before going into marriage.
People think love overrides the thought of God, it doesn't.
As a Christian we ought to act on the will of God.
Like, is this person the right one for me?
People say i have to choose myself because i have feelings, but the essence of knowing the right one according to God's will is because He instituted marriage and even when you think you've seen it all He knows the hidden things and the future.

Some may say, i shouldn't talk unless am married but you know what? Being a Christian that we are, even a 15yrs old with the right godly wisdom can say the right things.
I was having a girl friend back in 2011 and things weren't going as i wanted and i made a simple prayer, Lord if she's not the right person let's peacefully depart, i was only 21 then but i could think about praying because i had been brought up to get serious and get married on time rather than flirt around. Well after that relationship i went bad and dated anyhow. But I've got my acts right with God now and no more same, reason for that tale is to further explain my position. Now i have a fianceé who's God fearing and hardly acts outside the box. We get to scripturally sort issues, that's what's becoming of Christians. Women are supposed to be help meets and one flesh with the man, so your burden should be hers, so therefore that your brother is facing hard time is meant to be her concern too.

You're married to her, no divorce no matter what the outcome may be. Am not saying it's gotten worse to that extend of mentioning divorce but i know what marriage can be like. What you just have to do is pray for her and help her to get close to God, study the bible and let her know the position which she is, facing the mirror of God's word. Don't cheat on her but correct her in love once you people are in that route, i would have rather said you keep somethings like your help rendering to your family from her but she's meant to be involved you know, because in marriage you people are supposed to be open to one another. But the bible says wisdom is profitable to direct so therefore., for the atts she's putting up you need to keep those things from her knowledge while you help her and yourself become Christlike. As she's going in making her attitude known to your brother she could cause issues that'd go down for a long time if your brother is not the type that forgives and forget. Just as someone said, let her get into church activities but i hope you worship at a church where they really nourish with the word that will pierce her heart to knowing how evil are actions has been and help her become the best for you and God.

yemi16:


Yea..that is the only problem i have with her...but its a big one for me and i dont see myself not thinking/talking about it...i want a united and peaceful extended family...thanks for the advice though!

But can't you help anyone or ur brothers without her knowledge. I hv given 1m out without my woman knowing because she wud be sad and depressed.

Though her own is extreme but women believe they own their husband and all he has

mutiply:
I don't understand why you will want to help your brother and your wife will let hell loose. I think you are soft on her, you need to tell her you are the man of the house. If you have more than enough, please do assist him cause you never can tell how your tomorrow will be.

My own brother left me alone for form more 10 years cause of a woman too, seeing this post just made me realize that some of us who give advice are actually going through same experience. its well

She is selfish. Does she even have a job? I don't mean a business that is disguised unemployment where you are the one paying the rent Andy she renders nothing tangible. Your money Andy your property, that you worked for alone is not hers to decide how it is used or replaced or disposed. Nobody is perfect but this is a very bad trait that should not be overlooked.

For National peace to reign, please whenever you want to assist you bro dont let your Wife know. This will save you all these stress.