Does she have Siblings? If yes, how does she react when you do things for them or you dont at all?
If you want a good home for your immediate family and you have noticed this bad attitude in your wife, do not carry her along when doing things for your family any longer.(the calm way).

What i will do is that i will stand my ground in the house as the man, if she does not like the way am helping my family, she should go to blazes. In as much as you are providing for her needs and shes not lacking anything, God elevated you to be able to help the needy. She is mannerless and not a cultured wife for her to have the gut to call your brother. I pray God continues to bless you and table does not turn for you. Your kind of lady can run you down with sharp tongue and leave you.

Advise- Stand your ground as the man in the house and give freely without regrets.

One chance is. Better. Let me tell you u don't have any chance at all, don't let anyone deceive u. She will create a bridge between u and ur family. Its better not to marry than to marry someone who will destroy a joyful family.

yemi16, I support you.

Don't apologize to her for any reason. If she can't cope with the bond you have with your family, then she should have a rethink about the whole relationship.

I'm sure if you have given out those electronics to her brother or siblings, there will be no problem.

Family first. That's my motto.

Just take charge as a man, if you notice that she fails to see the good reason for helping your brother.

I just have pity on your brothers feelings with the whole situation ( loosing of his job, collecting from a younger brother, ur wife pronounce attitude...)

God please bless us all and make everyone comfortable in his/her family so that our meeting together as family will only to grateful for your works in our lives. Amen

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

Bros, family comes first, Ur brother sure needs you, he would've taken Ur burden as his, that is what brothers do. Ur wife should know better not to break that bond with Ur bro. I will give my all to make my family happy.

O boy you funny. You let a woman tell you what or what not to give to your family? I let my wife know earlier that I am what I am today because of my family, and she knows she dare not question what I give them. In fact, it is not even a topic for discussion.

ijinlove20:
Since u said what u pointed out here is her only, then to me, you do not have much problems.

If you doubt me, then ask married folks here, many of them has this kind of problems and many more yet they choose to tolerate.

Just to tell you that 70 percent of women are like her. It is natural for women to safe-guard that which they hold tenaciously to but I pray she doesn't over do though.

My advice?
I am not in any way supporting ur wife's action, but I all could think of now is for God to give u d grace to tolerate her in any way u could and change her mind-set soon.

where did you get 70 percent of selfish and stingy women from?....the women I know are compassionate are caring.....

OP as long as you aren't neglecting your own immediate family then I'm afraid you married the wrong woman like you put it.

I honestly don't understand women who have a thing against their men helping his family, his family fa.

The nerves, she even called your brother to bring back some stuffs, OP e be like say your wife no get respect for you o.

zayhal:
Stop telling her about everything you want to do for your brother. Help your brother (and other family members) without informing her. That way, peace will reign.

u response is very matured. OP take this answer very serious

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

Get her busy...set up a small biz 4 her

Honestly you messed up you saw the hand-writting on the wall when she told you of her first love but you were carried away with either her beauty or something else. We have one from Agbor in Delta state behaving that way & the way we solved it was purely abandoning her but polygamy is not the best sha.

yemi16:


Yea..that is the only problem i have with her...but its a big one for me and i dont see myself not thinking/talking about it...i want a united and peaceful extended family...thanks for the advice though!

theres no 100% perfect woman. let her realize that you are the man of the house & you value your siblings as well. above all, let all your assistance to your siblings be secret henceforth.

The problem you're facing is how you took your stand with her when you guys started. Despite what she told you about her past relationship, you would have made it clear to her that YOUR family is very important to you. I guess she won't have any problems if you're doing the same for her family. At this point, just be careful enough not tell her about any assistance to your family. because if you dance to her tunes, people will turn their backs on you when you need help the most. Don't let that happen

freecocoa:
OP as long as you aren't neglecting your own immediate family then I'm afraid you married the wrong woman like you put it.

I honestly don't understand women who have a thing against their men helping his family, his family fa.

The nerves, she even called your brother to bring back some stuffs, OP e be like say your wife no get respect for you o.

The nerves indeed! To even call back the brother to return what her husband gave him..

Your brother does not need to come to your house for money, do a transfer. She must not always be in the picture when you want to help your family. You did not marry a wrong wife she is just ''over protecting your finances'' always convince her of your reasons why you should help, tomorrow is pregnant. If you can help get a job for your brother.

Coldfeets:
yemi16, I support you.

Don't apologize to her for any reason. If she can't cope with the bond you have with your family, then she should have a rethink about the whole relationship.

I'm sure if you have given out those electronics to her brother or siblings, there will be no problem.

Family first. That's my motto.

you get sense

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

@Op, as I was reading this, something tells me that God is blessing you because of your "heart of GIVING" you see, if you stop giving, things may turn out to go all "wrong" for you and she go find her square root when that happens, and that is what the enemies want. Maybe that is her mission in your life.
When the enemies try to get at someone all to no avail, they try to get at the intercessor, pillar of support or back bone of that person so that the main target will become easy picking for the enemy.
You are the pillar of support and backbone to some people that the enemy is not happy about and is trying to destroy the formula of your success which is GIVING.
Just remember that your money is not "your" money, it is to assist and lift others up. I tell you what my pastor do tell me, help and assists both people and the ministry with your substance, it can never run dry. Op give more, challenge God to it , you will discover that your money can NEVER run dry.
Good luck and God bless you.

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

Very simple advice.

Send ur bro money without ur hobby's knowledge.

A woman can built and can also destroy (p square saga)...


exercise maximum wisdom. God bless u.

Bro,i can fell ur pains,u caused dis in d first place,u shld ve correct dat impression before u got married bt it never late,It high time u let her pple known esp her mum if she ve any,dat can solve d issue and she can talk sense to her.

mutiply:
I don't understand why you will want to help your brother and your wife will let hell loose. I think you are soft on her, you need to tell her you are the man of the house. If you have more than enough, please do assist him cause you never can tell how your tomorrow will be.

well said,firstly that was your first family before her,let her know your stand if not for them she won't see you.be a man here.

It's betta to marry a known devil than an unknown angel.....u shd be glad dat she is showing you her other dark side..what if she was d secretive type dat acts innocently yet backstabbing you?

Show love to her family members and avoid letting her know all u do for ur family. I believe aside dis she's perfect for u.

I see some people telling the OP to hide what he does for his family from his wife, for blawdy fucking what? Tah!


OP no vex o but your wife should go to hell(yes the matter is vexing me)

You don't have to tell her, since she obviously doesn't care for them but I'll say, don't hide that you are helping them from her, this is your family we are talking about, she needs to get with the program, rubbish!

The thunder that will fire anyone who suggests I'm doing too much for my family is unheard of.

zayhal:
Stop telling her about everything you want to do for your brother. Help your brother (and other family members) without informing her. That way, peace will reign.

sister u said it all.

[color=#770077][/color]

yemi16:
I courted her for about 1yr..before we got married 6months ago..
Meanwhile while courting, she had told me she left her former relationship because the guy she dated then was like the breadwinner to his family catering for all his siblings and she felt quite uncomfortable with it....

I didnt read much to it coz in my mind it happended to my favour and i already have a well to-do siblings...as at my courtship period though...

Shortly before we got married, my elder brother who also just had a baby lost his job....and i had to support him and his family on a need basis especially with their little cute baby boy growing but i noticed my my then fiancee didnt just like it at all....

After we got married....i got a great job with this good pay and was very comfortable....meanwhile my brother search for job was to no avail....and his wife was on maternity leave.

To cut long story short, each time my brother comes to me for help....and i send him money, my wife complains that i larvish my money on my brother...that he should go and get a job and not rely on me always...we would quarrel seriously for days/weeks before time eventually settles things...

Just last few days ago....we were relocating to a new area within town and i called my brother to pick up a few stuffs (electronics, household items) i know i wouldnt or i planned replacing with a new one......He came and picked them up as i had informed him....After he left, my wife let hell loose....she went completely mad and we had a big quareel...she even called my brother to return a few stuffs he took even when i already bought the replacements...

I am used to going back to her to apologize just to let peace reign ...but this time i have had it upto my neck..!!!!...
I dont intend apologizing one bit as i am sure i did her no wrong......

Now i am thinking deeply.....did i really overlooked the signs...?...did i really marry the wrong lady??....

Please i need your advise on how best to manage this...

Admin..pls help to update this on fp..i really need lots of advice at the moment.

Thanks.

Am a woman too,and am so infuriated right now.
So what?, I repeat and so what if you decide to help your siblings. Look here it's none of her business.

You can buy your brother a car, even a house if you are capable. She shouldn't interfere with whatever plans you have for them, if she's only going to try and put a stop to it.

She even has the impetus to call your elder brother to return the used electronic you gave him, oh my gosh. If she can act this way with you, while rendering help to your loved ones, how much more outsiders

I for can never marry a man who doesn't assist people who needs it, due to the way I was brought up.

My dad paid my friend's school fees while I was in high school, my mums renders help as much as she can to whomever she meets, whether they ask for it or not. As long as she notices you are broke, she helps you anonymously and mind you we aren't even financially buoyant, Now tell me how much more your siblings

I don't know why, but am so angry over what I just read. She had better call your brother back and apologize.

If your blood can't come to you when in need, then that's a shame.

Peace

Let her understand it's your money you worked for it if she's not happy with you helping then let her get her own money no one will complain abt wat she does wit it

J

sarutobie:

The nerves indeed! To even call back the brother to return what her husband gave him..

As in eh, the thing is just seriously vexing me.

OP's wife should be glad I'm not her sister-inlaw.

It's a normal thing with women, once your married as a young man, and have other well to do brothers maybe your better than, they is always a look like, this guys are feeding on your flesh whenever those other once are around, the girl always wants to know who got this and who got that, trust me over look it and possible don't ever discuss your family with your wife. You don't even have a problem.

zayhal:
Stop telling her about everything you want to do for your brother. Help your brother (and other family members) without informing her. That way, peace will reign.

........ Thumbs up.

mutiply:
I don't understand why you will want to help your brother and your wife will let hell loose. I think you are soft on her, you need to tell her you are the man of the house. If you have more than enough, please do assist him cause you never can tell how your tomorrow will be.

GOD BLESS YOU WITH THIS COMMENT

Saraha1:
To avoid problem in your marriage, stop telling your wife things relating to your brother.Be more secretive when you intend to help your relative.

I concur...
Your wife is stingy in nature. Although she also has the qualities of a good home economist. you need to sit her down and talk to her... u must reason with her too... its very important.

@OP stop giving electronics and household items to your brother, know that your wife is a shareholder and hence have rights over all your properties except may be your clothes and shoes. Give your brother only money and it should be secret. Encourage your brother to work hard to make ends meet and only give him what you can afford, your brother must not have a sense of entitlement to your belongings.