Ok, so I say that I am not too down for all that traditional crap about men providing and women taking care of the home and all, but I have to say this. My bf is a bit older than I am and I am a med student (taking out A LOT of student loans). He works and does take some classes and he doesnt make much money. Since I have a lot of loan money, I tend to have more money available to me. Although he doesn't always ask me directly, sometimes he does, OR he'll say he is strapped for cash, and me feeling guilty will offer to give him money and he Accepts willingly. Additionally. even when he does spend on me, I know the next week, he is going to be complaining about being broke or not having money for food, so I end up basically paying back for whatever he spent on me.

I dont know but for some reason I dont feel right anymore. I kind of wish I could have a guy to spend money on me and spoil me. I feel that this wil continue on forever seeing as I will be a doctor and he will be-----(wont specify for privacy sake). The fact that he is older than me makes it hard3er to swallow because I sometimes feel he should be the one giving me money. I dunno, but I feel really weird and torn. He is an AMAZING partner in everyway though, He is very atentive, caring, honest, loyal, spiritual, and intelligent. I feel sooo bad and I know he feels bad too asking for money or telling me his financial situation. I feel he does so sometimes because he wants to be totally honest with me and doesnt want to make me feel dissapointed when we go out and he says he doesnt have enough. GOSH, I dont know what to do. someone plz help me. He is a good guy but I just want to have a guy that will take me out and splurge on me. I am in no way a gold-digger but after X (more than 1, less than 4) amount of years, I am feeling kind of down in the dumps and craving a man to spoil me. Is that too much to ask?

Its up to you to decide which is important in your intended relationship

sng1127:

He is very atentive, caring, honest, loyal, spiritual, and intelligent.

or

sng1127:
a guy that will take me out and splurge on me.

the grass isnt greener on the other side. Leave him now because of money and you may regret it . . . those who will splurge on you may not be 1/4th what your present dude is to you.

davidylan:

the grass isn't greener on the other side. Leave him now because of money and you may regret it . . . those who will splurge on you may not be 1/4th what your present dude is to you.

True!

Gal. . .if he's all the things you stated. . .then I really do not see why your complaining. . .at least you understand his situation. . .and he feels bad about it. . . . . .Its left to you to either help him out or decide not to do so. . . but you should understand one thing. . .that no situation lasts forever. . .yes your a medical student and the feeling of superiority seems to be enveloping you. . .but do not allow pride eat u up. . .because you do not know what he might turn out to be tomm. . .

But if I were you. . .I wouldn't leave him because of something as trivial as this. . .such "good" men are hard to come by. . .and when you get one. . .you stick with him. . .

Instead. . .of leaving him. . .explain the situation to him. . .that you can't keep using up your student loans on him . . . and encourage him to seek ways to increase his income. . .We live in a world where more avenues have been created to make money. . .

Well, i can understand how u feel, but look at it from another angle, if u were in his position, and get dumped cos of all the reasons u stated, how will u feel?, his situation may improve, he is a good guy like u pointed out, honest,,etc, now its upto u to chose what u want,

OMG!!! Child!!!


Don't ever ever ever use your student loans on any boy/man. They're not worth it!!
I love you I love you is just at the surface
Since he's taking classes, why can't he take out his own student loan? Should be ashamed of himself for eating out of your med school money, chei!

alai'tiju ni awan okurin of nowadays!

If you really want a guy that'snot broke, then I suggest you leave him. If he shows no sign of ever changing.
I understand that some people would tell you to stick with him and make it together, but if he shows no potential, abeg waka.

FL Gators:

OMG!!! Child!!!
Don't ever ever ever use your student loans on any boy/man. They're not worth it!!
I love you I love you is just at the surface
Since he's taking classes, why can't he take out his own student loan? Should be ashamed of himself for eating out of your med school money, chei!

alai'tiju ni awa okurin of nowadays!

If you really want a guy that'snot broke, then I suggest you leave him. If he shows no sign of ever changing.
I understand that some people would tell you to stick with him and make it together, but if he shows no potential, abeg waka.

Who worth to be spent student loan on? How do u know that he doesn't worth it? Did u really read the post?

justwise:

Who worth to be spent student loan on? How do u know that he doesn't worth it? Did u really read the post?

If he ain't her devoted husband, then he ain't worth it.

Spend student loan on boyfriend, say what!!!!

Dude, do you know how serious student loans are? Can mess up credits and u gotta pay back and all those interest. Apart from that, the brokeass nigga might leave her.

FL Gators:

If he ain't her devoted husband, then he ain't worth it.

Spend student loan on boyfriend, say what!!!!

Dude, do you know how serious student loans are? Can mess up credits and u gotta pay back and all those interest. Apart from that, the brokeass nigga might leave her.

Its called LOAN definitely going to be paid back, whether u spend it on ur husband or devil, the interest will still be applied, she is spendin it on somebody who cares for her(financially sometimes, cos he spent the money on her as well). Yes the bf is broke today, 2moro will tell a different story, see beyond ur nose, if the bf is waste of space then he doesn't worth the time, but according to her, he behaves well, so i asked again, who deserved to be spent on?

FL Gators:

If he ain't her devoted husband, then he ain't worth it.

Spend student loan on boyfriend, say what!!!!

Dude, do you know how serious student loans are? Can mess up credits and u gotta pay back and all those interest. Apart from that, the brokeass nigga might leave her.

I agree with u sister, justwise do u know how serious a student loan is he should get one himself. abeg i would be behave good if a someone was paying for everything, abeg let the man be a man, was he going to die without you?? He shouldnt lean on you too much especially with your loans.

abeg listen to Gators

and worse is that he is older.


he shouldnt have to keep begging, a man should have pride, u need to have a serious talk over with ur man.

why can he get his own loan?

justwise:

Its called LOAN definitely going to be paid back, whether u spend it on ur husband or devil, the interest will still be applied, she is spendin it on somebody who cares for her(financially sometimes, cos he spent the money on her as well). Yes the bf is broke today, 2moro will tell a different story, see beyond ur nose, if the bf is waste of space then he doesn't worth the time, but according to her, he behaves well, so i asked again, who deserved to be spent on?

Boy, are you kidding me?He's not caring for her, she's caring for herself.

First we need to know how long they've been together. Second, does he actually try to help himself, or does he see her as a national bank. He's used to asking her for money that he's even playing on her sympathy.

Have you men no shame? Once is okay, twice is okay, but not to the point that you have to make it regular like a restroom routine. If this is love, then I want no piece of the apple.

platinumnk:

I agree with u sister, justwise do u know how serious a student loan is he should get one himself. abeg i would be behave good if a someone was paying for everything, abeg let the man be a man, was he going to die without you?? He shouldnt lean on you too much especially with your loans.

abeg listen to Gators

b
abi o

FL Gators:

Boy, are you kidding me?He's not caring for her, she's caring for herself.

First we need to know how long they've been together. Second, does he actually try to help himself, or does he see her as a national bank. He's used to asking her for money that he's even playing on her sympathy.

Have you men no shame? Once is okay, twice is okay, but not to the point that you have to make it regular like a restroom routine. If this is love, then I want no piece of the apple.

Exactly ,  im sorry sister, but where is his pride, i know soon enough men are gonna start yabbering that we're golddigers, but seriously, women need to learn their lesson fast about giving men money.

Real men have pride and wont be asking for handouts. I might sound harsh but that is the truth. Even my older male mentors say the same thing.

I might give my bf some $, but no matter what hegoes through he does not cry he needs money. And i know he situation is worse that what he tells me.

Your man has to be a man, how would he function if u wasnt around? Or does he not think that you are worth it?

How can yall grow together knowing that you provided all his allowances in the relationship??

You need to talk to him sweetie

LOL, Onpoint.

But like seriously, this is student loans we're talking about here. In this economy, you better grab on to as much as you can get.

I mean, it's STUDENT LOAN!!

This is interesting, its all good for us to spend on our needy gfs but its a crime for them to spend on us? how about : what a man can do a woman can do it better? Oh just remembered that when it comes to money the saying doesn't apply.

For a change let her spend on him!!!

justwise:

This is interesting, its all good for us to spend on our needy gfs but its a crime for them to spend on us? how about : what a man can do a woman can do it better? Oh just remembered that when it comes to money the saying doesn't apply.

For a change let her spend on him!!!

i knew someone was gonna to say that.

However, we are talking about LOANS here, do u know what a med school loan can do to you It is not like she is Oprah with plenty to share, she is borrowing from the Banks herself, and therefore has a need as well.

If a guy has plenty to throw around, if he wants to help his girl, ( without it hurting his pockets) then do what you want, same for a girl, but if a guy is taking out LOANS and sharing it to a begging girl, com off it!

it no be my portion 


She needs to think logically, if anything happens now, will he help payoff the loan??


and first Why cant he get his own loan?


my friend try this: try not to take too much out on your Loan, the gov WILL garnish your wages if u dont pay back. Take out only what u need, and a lil  extra for emergencies, but not an extra $6000 on a loan, because don say i didnt warn u, he will kiss u till you last dime is gone!

ok that was a lil extreme, but seriously u get my point  ( I hope)

NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT SPEND STUDENT LOAN MONEY ON A BOYFRIEND. who says you two will be together 5 yrs from now??
what stops him from going to the bank to take out a loan for himself that's a characteristic of a bad boyfriend u should get away from!!!

you're going to regret it big time when you start working and you're paying back ur loan and interest.

For a change let her spend on him!!! Its called LOAN definitely going to be paid back,

and if they break up who will be paying back the loans??
even a guy shouldn't be taking out loans to spend on his gf. i would say the girl drugged him.

He works and does take some classes and he doesnt make much money.

next time he comes to you telling u he's "strapped for cash" ask him what he needs cash for since he's working and making little change. some people like to live wayyyy above their means. usually girls who live off their sugerdaddies and like to over indulge themselves with money they can't afford on their own.  and if he knows that the money source can be replenished (u asking for more loans), he's ALWAYS going to be "strapped for cash"!!! the cycle will NOT stop.


even college students or med students who don't earn a lot learn to eat Ramen and shop at walmart. why does he want to live the life of a king off you.
i don't think he's a good bf to be asking you for money knowing you're providing it with your loans. if it was a one time emergency or small change that would have been understandable.

oyinda.:

NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT SPEND STUDENT LOAN MONEY ON A BOYFRIEND. who says you two will be together 5 yrs from now??
what stops him from going to the bank to take out a loan for himself that's a characteristic of a bad boyfriend u should get away from!!!

you're going to regret it big time when you start working and you're paying back ur loan and interest.

and if they break up who will be paying back the loans??
even a guy shouldn't be taking out loans to spend on his gf. i would say the girl drugged him.

next time he comes to you telling u he's "strapped for cash" ask him what he needs cash for since he's working and making little change. some people like to live wayyyy above their means. usually girls who live off their sugerdaddies and like to over indulge themselves with money they can't afford on their own. and if he knows that the money source can be replenished (u asking for more loans), he's ALWAYS going to be "strapped for cash"!!! the cycle will NOT stop.


even college students or med students who don't earn a lot learn to eat Ramen and shop at walmart. why does he want to live the life of a king off you.
i don't think he's a good bf to be asking you for money knowing you're providing it with your loans. if it was a one time emergency or small change that would have been understandable.

SPOT ON!!

LOANS ARE A BIG NO NO TO BOTH MALES AND FEMALES!

Poster sef if very stupid.

Child, I've worked with pediatric doctors who's been working for years and are still paying student loans.

Nawa for you ooooooooooooo.

I feel that this wil continue on forever seeing as I will be a doctor and he will be-----(wont specify for privacy sake).

FL Gators:

Poster sef if very stupid.

Child, I've worked with pediatric doctors who's been working for years and are still paying student loans.

Nawa for you ooooooooooooo.

very stupid indeed.
if she marries the dude. the girl will not only be paying excess loans but will be catering for family financial needs (the bf seem not to mind depending on her for money), working as MD (extremely demanding job) and coming home to do housework. while husband is . . . .

@Poster

I'll say it goes both ways. If you feel in your heart he deserves it and is really broke and won't take you for granted, help him BUT i did the same thing 4 my ex boifriend and what did i get, "Break-up in the worst way and manner"

Nesia:

@Poster

I'll say it goes both ways. If you feel in your heart he deserves it and is really broke and won't take you for granted, help him BUT i did the same thing 4 my ex boifriend and what did i get, "Break-up in the worst way and manner"

im sorry for your break up but dont advise the poster to do the same foolish thing if it did not work for you. If you cannot AFFORD to help someone, PLS PLS dont suffer. ARE they even married?


Im glad I learned my lesson at 16, some foolish guy was always broke, but he was the sweetest thing ever, because o kept giving him money.

Now where is tha fool.

I beg its ur student loans, if nothing else gets to ur head, its STUDENT L O A N S.

Please dont mess up ur life.

I dont want to hear u posting again saying, he broke up with me, and he made me give him all this money that I now have to pay back.

Be in Love sha, But dont BE a fool.

When one seeks word of advice one must listen

Poster, I had this problem before and we both had settle it.

Since you have alot of loan money (or why cant he take a loan hisself?  ) and u seem to be giving it to him and also spending it on your school, why not you both sit down and discuss on how can you both achieve his success?

Like maybe he wants to open a business? Than u could sort of borrow him some cash to open the business and than he would pay you back when he makes some money out of it.

I understand how you feel cause I was in your situation. Its not their fault that they are broke. Its just that opportunities did not seem to come his way and thats all. If you leave him, I dont know if you could find a nice guy like him or not in the future.

In my case, what I did was I took loan from the bank (cause he is a foreignor so he could not get a loan. It was a risky thing to do cause anything could have happen. He might just ran away with the money and stuff like that but that time I have made up my mind that no matter what happen, I will help him to be successfull because of my love for him. Thats all. ) and we somehow rent cheap houses from landlords and landladies for a start and rent it at a slightly higher price to other people. When he has enough, than he took the money and started off buying and selling computer spare parts and fixing mobiles for people. He payed the loan back and now he id doing almost all the spending.

He bought a house in Naija and in Malaysia and he bought a car here. Very soon, we are planning to buy a car for his parents so things are working out fine here.

At times, u just have to put your butt in in order to make your man successfull. Provide him with lots of support! That would be very very important and also you both have to plan well with every step u both take especially the first steps.


Good luck.

She spent her money on who she wants to, student loan or no loan, bf/gf do break up whether u spend on him or not, for the fact that she spent on him does not mean they will stick together for life,

Now her prob is that she is looking for somebody who will spoil her, spend on her, etc,
Whats wrong in girls spending on their bfs? we have being doing that for ages, if don't even know how much was involved here anyway,

Give me a break with all thses talk abt student loan, its just one of those loans, when u get it, do whatever u wish with it.

@Gabry , very brave of u to do that, thats wat love is all abt, some pple are crying blood cos she spent on him, they seems to know 2moro, they have written him off,
But u took the risk and now is paying up,

Let me set the record straight here. I never depend on any of my exs, even when we lived together, i never expect any of them to contribute in either rent or bills, But if any guy found himself in a tight corner and the gf wants to help, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT?, must we be the one to spend on girls?

Well, maybe because than the females would think that they are the man in this relationship. Dont u think so? Society whom sees a female paying for their guy would call the girl a useless girl and is easily used and cheated by guys. Thats how society sees it. Thats why some of us feels that way.

I also felt that way once before and thats why I have decided to do something and stop this once and for all.

when women spend money on men,we no go hear word.
i still think d guy should step up,he has 2 work harder(older or not)money got nothin 2 do with age.
if she want money miss road,na she sabi.d end will justify d means.

I don't think the poster is a kid who doesn't know the implications of taking student loans and all there is to it. All she is saying is that she wants a man that would give her some good times, spoil her silly, dazzle her wt gifts et al.
Gal, that is not too much to ask! You are a woman and should be treated as such with all the shoppings, muvies, dates, gifts, etc.

If he's asking you for money is just once in a while stuff, bear with him and assist if possible(if he's truely a gud guy as u said), but if he is ALWAYS broke and asking you for money, a week after he spends whatever pittance on you, and you dont feel right about it,_{Do the right thing Gal!} Kick his arse out!

Dont be fooled gurl, read the writings on the wall. Been a good guy is not all there is to a relationship_{THE BENJAMINES ARE SO IMPORTANT!}

What's the big fuss about money this days.
What if the role was reversed? I guess it will be fine for the girl to live on his loan as their is a written rule that says men should always support women.

At the end of the day the dude is not asking you for the dosh as you are the one feeling obliged to spend on him.
Love should always come first man.
What's this world turning into