If I Can't Enjoy My Marriage At This Early Stage; What Happens When My Parts Start Falling Apart (Old age)?

I am a 30yr old mother of one who has been married for almost 3yrs now. My husband is a serial cheat. At the top of my head, he has cheated about 5 times. I have been forgiving, prayerful, patient and tolerant in the past but I think I have gotten to a point I cannot take it anymore. I am a very good looking fashion forward, hygiene conscious
woman. I make sure I give an impressive performance in bed no matter how tired. I even initiate it too. For the life of me I just don't understand what my husband goes looking for elsewhere. In the past when he gets caught, he apologizes and tries to lay low for a while till things are going well then jumps back on the horse. So I realized that he started dating a girl sometime last year. I confronted him about it last month with my box of evidence. Usually he would seem remorseful and what not, but this time around, he is being very defensive and arrogant about it. I know he has fallen in love with her cos I see the messages the send to each other and her pictures on his phone.


Despite that he knows I know, he still goes ahead to date the girl. I have tried to not contact her cos my battle isn't with her. Ever since he started dating her, he hasn't touched me. In the past, he gave me an STD. Took a lot of prayers for me to forgive him and concentrate on building a family cos I was pregnant at that time. Am so hurt that he wouldn't mind throwing away a beautiful family over an affair. I need to teach him a lesson he will never forget. I am tired of being the door mat. Am tired of forgiving and praying and tolerating. It's obvious that it's a lifestyle for him and not a mistake. Any advise will be appreciated.
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/

Nawa,this case is really bad, and like you pointed out the battle is not with you and the gal but ur husband.
IMO still try and work things out with him...........
You might even threaten to bring relatives and his friends into the matter if he doesn't change.(DON'T THREATEN HIS LIFE OHHHHHHHHH) as that might give him reason to abandon you and your baby.
Don't forget to always pray!

While you are teaching him the unforgettable lesson make sure you have a jotter and you are taking some notes because you might as well be teaching yourself a bitter lesson too. I believe you saw glimpses of what you are seeing now when you two were courting but you may have overlooked it as nothing serious only for you to see the seriousness of those little lies and things like that. Bigger things surely start from little things. My advice is in any action you want to take remember your children if you any.

Just keep praying about it and I believe you must have seen this bad part of him wen you were dating but you thought you could cope. Sorry but talk to your pastor so he can talk to your husband about it or even involve his close relatives.

Twinkie8:
If I Can't Enjoy My Marriage At This Early Stage; What Happens When My Parts Start Falling Apart (Old age)?

I am a 30yr old mother of one who has been married for almost 3yrs now. My husband is a serial cheat. At the top of my head, he has cheated about 5 times. I have been forgiving, prayerful, patient and tolerant in the past but I think I have gotten to a point I cannot take it anymore. I am a very good looking fashion forward, hygiene conscious
woman. I make sure I give an impressive performance in bed no matter how tired. I even initiate it too. For the life of me I just don't understand what my husband goes looking for elsewhere. In the past when he gets caught, he apologizes and tries to lay low for a while till things are going well then jumps back on the horse. So I realized that he started dating a girl sometime last year. I confronted him about it last month with my box of evidence. Usually he would seem remorseful and what not, but this time around, he is being very defensive and arrogant about it. I know he has fallen in love with her cos I see the messages the send to each other and her pictures on his phone.


Despite that he knows I know, he still goes ahead to date the girl. I have tried to not contact her cos my battle isn't with her. Ever since he started dating her, he hasn't touched me. In the past, he gave me an STD. Took a lot of prayers for me to forgive him and concentrate on building a family cos I was pregnant at that time. Am so hurt that he wouldn't mind throwing away a beautiful family over an affair. I need to teach him a lesson he will never forget. I am tired of being the door mat. Am tired of forgiving and praying and tolerating. It's obvious that it's a lifestyle for him and not a mistake. Any advise will be appreciated.
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/

Maybe the problem is that you are trying too hard. While he has to work outside to "conquer" the girls, you go out of your way to please him. For what?

Learn to please yourself in the first place and things will change.

He is a health hazard, you should be glad he isn't touching you. Do whatever will make you whine less . All these marital kasala stories don dey tire person.

Twinkie8:
In the past when he gets caught, he apologizes and tries to lay low for a while till things are going well then jumps back on the horse. . I know he has fallen in love with her cos I see the I need to teach him a lesson he will never forget. I am tired of being the door mat. Am tired of forgiving and praying and tolerating. It's obvious that it's a lifestyle for him and not a mistake. Any advise will be appreciated.
Source: http://www.wivestownhallconnection.com/

That part "lay low" got me rflmao .The only thing I would type is, no matter how you clean or bathe a pig, it will still go back to the gutters. I wish you luck in your marriage
I'm sure you married him for the benjamins

Pele dear.you can die a miserable depressed Mrs.it's allowed. Keep praying and keep giving him orisirisi styles. Shebi he still gave you std free of charge,he'll soon give you gonorrhea and syphilis

Kontinu suffering and smiling.

Meanwhile

If you keep tolerating your situation by sulking and not doing anything about it then you deserve the disrespect and disregard. Kontinu waiting for nlders to tell you what to do

So as i was saying

When you wear the cap of wisdom you'll understand this

And so I leave you with this

Sambarry u go girl

Sambarry don turn this thread to an emotional one

For the woman; abeg advice don finish o, we can't tell you to leave before you say we're hating on ur "shamarriage", we definitely can't tell you to stay coz our conscience will hunt us, so we are in a dilemma like you're

Madam, be thankful he isn't sleeping with you. So he doesn't give you HIV. If you already contraacted STD from him once, its obvious that he doesn't use protection with his external riff raffs called girlfriends.

Am not going to ask you to conttinue or start praying for him, because of am tired of the woman being asked to stay and be praying for a man who mentally, emotionally and physcally abuses her.

Madam for a marriage of 3yrs.how many years did you court? You must have seen or caaught him cheat and you stll married him.

The ball is in your court. You could arrange with a mle cousin of yours who he doesn't know of, pretend. To start up a rship with the cousin,and play along to see if you can get to him that way. Let him also see text msgs and photos you pple snap 2geda. If this trick doesn't work. Then na only sabi and waka go inside that marriage o!


Madam! I said your male cousin o! No go plan with another man wey go end developng feelings for you. In the end, so you can openly tell your husband and family nothing went down.

blessedtwins:
Sambarry u go girl

thank you o jare

Afterall Tony said

lesbiangirl:
Sambarry don turn this thread to an emotional one

For the woman; abeg advice don finish o, we can't tell you to leave before you say we're hating on ur "shamarriage", we definitely can't tell you to stay coz our conscience will hunt us, so we are in a dilemma like you're

yes na.the truth has to be told. Enough is enough abeg

My fear is most women never count the cost before entering into relationship or marriage with men. Once you have money and can fvck well, they Dont want to hear another thing. They tend to forget that marriage is never about money and sex alone; there are a million and one other things attached. Imagine if the STD he gave the woman was HIV!

When you decide to go on a journey of revenge, make sure you dig two graves! !!

SAMBARRY:
thank you o jare

Afterall Tony said

You are just right,I didn't even know what to advice,he gave her an std once!!! Imagine that

Op,you need to read this book "why men love bitches" Thank me later.

Mindfulness:


Maybe the problem is that you are trying too hard. While he has to work outside to "conquer" the girls, you go out of your way to please him. For what?

Learn to please yourself in the first place and things will change.

I concur