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When You Do Not Love Him Enough - Romance - Nairaland

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When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 3:47pm On Mar 15, 2016
If you do not love a man enough to marry him, can you go ahead and marry him hoping you would love him later or u shud call it quits?
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by donbenedict(m): 3:51pm On Mar 15, 2016
Well I wouldn't say u should call it quits cuz love is like a seed that germinates and grows into smth big with time...


At Dat stage u dnt need to rush into marriage with him yet, I believ he should do more in making u see reasons why u should love him more instead of askin u to marry him... den when the love has blossomed, u can go ahead and marry him...

31 Likes

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Smellymouth: 3:53pm On Mar 15, 2016
I think love is overrated undecided.  If I share the same faith with her, she is homely, a great mother ,we love many of the same things, share the same views about the direction of our future, have the same goals, etc. 
A great woman makes a great partner. I dont know how many times I have seen men put up with CRAP simply because, "I love her." "What do you love about him?"  "I dont know, I just love him."  Love is not needed for marriage.  But respect is.  Also I recommend men marry women on their intellectual and motherly level.

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Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by VickyRotex(f): 3:53pm On Mar 15, 2016
I'm a Nigerian. So I'm answering your question with a question.

How do you know the quantity of love "enough" to marry a Man?


PS: I learnt it takes morethan loving a Spouse to say
"I do"

11 Likes

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:00pm On Mar 15, 2016
Thnk you for your very meaningful response. I would take it into advisement
donbenedict:
Well I wouldn't say u should call it quits cuz love is like a seed that germinates and grows into smth big with time...


At Dat stage u dnt need to rush into marriage with him yet, I believ he should do more in making u see reasons why u should love him more instead of askin u to marry him... den when the love has blossomed, u can go ahead and marry him...

2 Likes

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by LuveU2(f): 4:02pm On Mar 15, 2016
I can manage him if he is cute

1 Like

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:02pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hmmm, wat if there is no passion. You knw that kind of fire burning passion. Doest it count? Can one stil go ahead wt d marriage?
Smellymouth:
I think love is overrated undecided.  If I share the same faith with her, she is homely, a great mother ,we love many of the same things, share the same views about the direction of our future, have the same goals, etc. 
A great woman makes a great partner. I dont know how many times I have seen men put up with CRAP simply because, "I love her." "What do you love about him?"  "I dont know, I just love him."  Love is not needed for marriage.  But respect is.  Also I recommend men marry women on their intellectual and motherly level.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Ray360: 4:06pm On Mar 15, 2016
You are either in love with someone or not in love with him/her. True love grows everyday. As days thicken to months and years egg months, you discover new lovable qualities in him or her. It's not spontaneous! There is no quantifiable measure of love sufficient for matrimonial Harmony or marital Union. when two people in love go through challenges and trials of life and remain unbruised and unseparated, the love grows! You tend to see glaring reasons why you should stick with him, as such, the love heightens. even some old couples still continue to love each other.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:17pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hes not cute. Buh he is nice
LuveU2:
I can manage him if he is cute

3 Likes

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Ray360: 4:20pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
Hmmm, wat if there is no passion. You knw that kind of fire burning passion. Doest it count? Can one stil go ahead wt d marriage?
Why not give it time and allow this love bloom. True love survives even in the toughest of times. Just give it time.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Smellymouth: 4:21pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
Hmmm, wat if there is no passion. You knw that kind of fire burning passion. Doest it count? Can one stil go ahead wt d marriage?

The very thing that ignites passion is friction and instability. Once again, look at your past. Passion is usually brief, intense and rocky. Comfort, on the other hand, tends to be softer and more nurturing.

Comfort, therefore, is not nearly as exciting, but it tends to last longer. Studies say that passion usually dissipates in 18-24 months. Which is why people who expect their passion to last for 40 years, in essence, are trying to defy the laws of nature.

In marriage, you’re not making a decision for the next six months. You’re making a decision that’ll last the next 30 years. And just like one might choose different career paths for passion or comfort, people choose partners for similar reasons.

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by LuveU2(f): 4:24pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
Hes not cute. Buh he is nice
What is character without beauty
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Ray360: 4:30pm On Mar 15, 2016
Smellymouth:


The very thing that ignites passion is friction and instability. Once again, look at your past. Passion is usually brief, intense and rocky. Comfort, on the other hand, tends to be softer and more nurturing.

Comfort, therefore, is not nearly as exciting, but it tends to last longer. Studies say that passion usually dissipates in 18-24 months. Which is why people who expect their passion to last for 40 years, in essence, are trying to defy the laws of nature.

In marriage, you’re not making a decision for the next six months. You’re making a decision that’ll last the next 30 years. And just like one might choose different career paths for passion or comfort, people choose partners for similar reasons.
Bro, Do you know that passion-seasoned love is actually the rationale behind some people sticking with a partner despite the partner's many shortcomings? When you love someone passionately, infinitesimal wrongs and even mammoth wrongs are played down and overlooked. Not because the person is too fragile to walk away, but because there is a deeper part of that person that is rooted in the other party. the passion you described that fades in month is mere infatuation. when it comes to true and refined love, The passion burns like an inferno which cannot be tamed easily.

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:31pm On Mar 15, 2016
You have made me see reasons. Thank you
Smellymouth:


The very thing that ignites passion is friction and instability. Once again, look at your past. Passion is usually brief, intense and rocky. Comfort, on the other hand, tends to be softer and more nurturing.

Comfort, therefore, is not nearly as exciting, but it tends to last longer. Studies say that passion usually dissipates in 18-24 months. Which is why people who expect their passion to last for 40 years, in essence, are trying to defy the laws of nature.

In marriage, you’re not making a decision for the next six months. You’re making a decision that’ll last the next 30 years. And just like one might choose different career paths for passion or comfort, people choose partners for similar reasons.

1 Like

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by firstking01(m): 4:31pm On Mar 15, 2016
donbenedict:
Well I wouldn't say u should call it quits cuz love is like a seed that germinates and grows into smth big with time...


At Dat stage u dnt need to rush into marriage with him yet, I believ he should do more in making u see reasons why u should love him more instead of askin u to marry him... den when the love has blossomed, u can go ahead and marry him...
that your firs line says it all, no need for me to post...love grows with time.
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:33pm On Mar 15, 2016
Again, I see ur reasons. And as a young lady that wants to get into marriage, you guys are ar confusin me. sad
Ray360:

Bro, Do you know that passion-seasoned love is actually the rationale behind some people sticking with a partner despite the partner's many shortcomings? When you love someone passionately, infinitesimal wrongs and even mammoth wrongs are played down and overlooked. Not because the person is too fragile to walk away, but because there is a deeper part of that person that is rooted in the other party. the passion you described that fades in month is mere infatuation. when it comes to true and refined love, The passion burns like an inferno which cannot be tamed easily.
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:37pm On Mar 15, 2016
The quantity? You know all doz kinda love dt makes u quiver wen wen u think abt d person. I think that is enof for me if u ask me
VickyRotex:
I'm a Nigerian. So I'm answering your question with a question.

How do you know the quantity of love "enough" to marry a Man?


PS: I learnt it takes morethan loving a Spouse to say
"I do"
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Ray360: 4:42pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
Again, I see ur reasons. And as a young lady that wants to get into marriage, you guys are ar confusin me. sad
Don't be confused, dear. the bottom line is, Give it time! that's the summary. certain things fall into place as time wheels events. You seem like a lady that's not so sure of what she feels. only time can reveal certain things. cheers.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:46pm On Mar 15, 2016
Yeaa, I would giv it time. Buh If I dont feel dt fire, shud I leave?
Ray360:

Don't be confused, dear. the bottom line is, Give it time! that's the summary. certain things fall into place as time wheels events. You seem like a lady that's not so sure of what she feels. only time can reveal certain things. cheers.
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 4:48pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hmmm, abi sad
LuveU2:
What is character without beauty

1 Like 1 Share

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by VickyRotex(f): 5:17pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
The quantity? You know all doz kinda love dt makes u quiver wen wen u think abt d person. I think that is enof for me if u ask me

Ray360 has said it all. You're either inlove or you're not. There's no quantifiable amount of love enough to sustain a marriage.

I wish you all the best in whatever you decision you make. kiss

PS: Just be sure it's love and not infatuation. At times it's not love that makes one quiver when you think about a person, it's Infatuation/Lust.

7 Likes

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by donbenedict(m): 5:26pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
Yeaa, I would giv it time. Buh If I dont feel dt fire, shud I leave?
yes of course u should... u dnt want to meet ur soulmate just after u got married to d wrong guy

3 Likes

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 5:36pm On Mar 15, 2016
grin. Dt wud b epic
donbenedict:
yes of course u should... u dnt want to meet ur soulmate just after u got married to d wrong guy
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by databoy247(m): 5:39pm On Mar 15, 2016
OP, the truth is that I think you may have already made up your mind to leave him and you are just looking for a reason to justify it. You dont want to be consumed with self loath for breaking the heart of an innocent man who cares deeply for you.

But before you leave him, search and downlaod "The myth of singleness"- by Dr Myles Munroe (RIP). You will understand why they say its not love that actually makes a marriage work.

Am just trying to make common sense grin

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by donbenedict(m): 5:45pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
grin. Dt wud b epic
hehe. Funny as it seems buh it happens.. grin..


So just take ur time pebbles...
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 5:46pm On Mar 15, 2016
Ok, I wil download it. Thanks
databoy247:
OP, the truth is that I think you may have already made up your mind to leave him and you are just looking for a reason to justify it. You dont want to be consumed with self loath for breaking the heart of an innocent man who cares deeply for you.

But before you leave him, search and downlaod "The myth of singleness"- by Dr Myles Munroe (RIP). You will understand why they say its not love that actually makes a marriage work.

Am just trying to make common sense grin
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 5:52pm On Mar 15, 2016
smiley really I would
donbenedict:
hehe. Funny as it seems buh it happens.. grin..


So just take ur time pebbles...
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Synzu(m): 6:22pm On Mar 15, 2016
pinkpebbles:
Again, I see ur reasons. And as a young lady that wants to get into marriage, you guys are ar confusin me. sad

Marry me then


I'm nice and I'm cute too grin
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 6:46pm On Mar 15, 2016
Hehehe,. Thanks, I would pass on the offer grin
Synzu:


Marry me then


I'm nice and I'm cute too grin
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by dejt4u(m): 8:27pm On Mar 15, 2016
What happened to parrothouz.com??
pinkpebbles:
If you do not love a man enough to marry him, can you go ahead and marry him hoping you would love him later or u shud call it quits?
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by pinkpebbles(f): 8:43pm On Mar 15, 2016
My job took over my little spare time. Been so busy havnt written anything. Thank u for askin smiley
dejt4u:
What happened to parrothouz.com??
Re: When You Do Not Love Him Enough by Rukkydelta(f): 9:10pm On Mar 15, 2016
Smellymouth:
I think love is overrated undecided.  If I share the same faith with her, she is homely, a great mother ,we love many of the same things, share the same views about the direction of our future, have the same goals, etc. 
A great woman makes a great partner. I dont know how many times I have seen men put up with CRAP simply because, "I love her." "What do you love about him?"  "I dont know, I just love him."  Love is not needed for marriage.  But respect is.  Also I recommend men marry women on their intellectual and motherly level.

Seconded ....love is just a fallacy

2 Likes

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