The beat way to meet someone is through a friend. Don't you have nigerian friends. Did you go to university in the UK. Most people I know met their other half in uni.

Oya start going through your friends Facebook profiles and identify girls you might like. Call said friends up and get the background on said chick and if it sounds good, pester the friend for an introduction.

Also try to go to nigerian barbecues, house party, birthday do etc etc. You are bound to meet someone that way

Thank me later

heo88:



Bros this is very interesting because I am also 28, London based, although born and raised here and I think I understand your frustration. I am going to try to assist the best way I can.

I have also been to many MBTN and NCITY events. It's mostly recycled people so it's not worth attending to find new women.

In terms of improving your hitherto rate of luck, it may be worth asking yourself what your end goal is. That may seem abstract and I can deduce from your initial post that you want to get married sooner rather than later. However, if I was in your shoes I'd ask myself why do I want to get married so much? How can a women make a worthwhile contribution to my life? Etc

You see the problem is most people, and this includes many of the young ladies you'll meet at such events, or even elsewhere in London, are out for what they can get. That's to say that they don't get the precept of 'quid pro quo', that is mutually beneficial relationships. Often they can give you an Economics PhD-level thesis of what they want from you, but the irony in this is that they often have little to offer themselves; not even rudiments. Even some of the latter-day 'Feminists' are only operating under this rubric so as to turn guy to mugu-maga through pseudo-intellectual manipulation. Make sure that the same standard any babe wants to hold you to, she's also willing to meet herself. If not then jog her on sharp sharp.

I wish you well, but please bear in mind that you're in a good position and any women who falls from the sky may actually do more harm than good. It's imperative she's worth spending time with, otherwise it's a waste of finite resources. Please don't get frustrated with yourself as to not having cornered a babe and remember you will be a catch for many a babe. Take your time, relax and be at peace; the right babe for you will eventually come.

All the best and Godspeed.

Thank you. I feel your post captures my frustration pretty well. Unfortunately, it doesn't offer much in the way of solutions. You are quite spot on with regards to the nature of the networking events - typically attended by ladies in their early thirties, whose core goals, i presume is to out-compete other ladies for the relatively few guys in the room. These sorts of settings frustrate me.

My medium term goal is to have a stable relationship that may on the longer term hopefully lead to marriage. In the shorter term, i would like to focus on building my career but at the same time, have a partner with whom i can strongly connect with, enjoy companionship and carefully plan a future with.

Yes, there are many girls in London and I have tried dating outside of what i would consider my default setting - i.e folks from other culture or background. It just hasn't worked out. The bigger problem, i suppose, is that i know what i want, and i feel too strongly about it -

elektra:
I am also experiencing same.
It seems graduate school and dating don't seem to go very well together.

Here are some of the places I've tried maybe they will work for you.

The gym- suggested to me by one of my friends. I have been a member for 1 year now. I go 2-3 days a week. I have made 3 female friends and 0 male ones. I think I spoke 5 words to the male gym attendant last week so that's a step in the right direction.

Game rooms: You know, those places with pool tables, foosball and table tennis. I heard its a good place to meet guys and start friendships. Whenever I remember that I have another life goal to accomplish other than graduating, I watch a few YouTube videos on how to play these games, then get dressed and go. So far, I have succeeded in establishing a parasitic friendship with the stray cat that hangs around there. My case is not completely hopeless you see.

Hahaha. U r funny

Lonehenge:


Thank you. I feel your post captures my frustration pretty well. Unfortunately, it doesn't offer much in the way of solutions. You are quite spot on with regards to the nature of the networking events - typically attended by ladies in their early thirties, whose core goals, i presume is to out-compete other ladies for the relatively few guys in the room. These sorts of settings frustrate me.

My medium term goal is to have a stable relationship that may on the longer term hopefully lead to marriage. In the shorter term, i would like to focus on building my career but at the same time, have a partner with whom i can strongly connect with, enjoy companionship and carefully plan a future with.

Yes, there are many girls in London and I have tried dating outside of what i would consider my default setting - i.e folks from other culture or background. It just hasn't worked out. The bigger problem, i suppose, is that i know what i want, and i feel too strongly about it -

You know, sometimes what we seek might be right in front of us but we don't see it because we're looking too hard.

Start with your place of work. Depending on the size of the organisation / company you work for, there might be a single (and searching) Nigerian girl with similar standards, goals, career aspirations, and expectations of life - same as yours.

I personally don't think going out of your way to events / churches you don't particularly care for, is the way to go. Neither do I think trying to strike up a conversation on a jam packed train on / from your way to work is the way forward. Most times we commuters are running late, irritable, have our noses buried in our phones / iPads, etc just to escape the coffee / garlicky bad breaths of others, and very soon the heat. Everyone just wants to get off and those trains are anything but a relaxing environment to strike up a conversation.

Back to my earlier point, you've got a greater chance of meeting someone on the same wavelength as yours by attending events and activities that you enjoy doing. Nigerians are everywhere. So if you love weird things like dog racing, snorkelling, bird watching, train spotting, etc, you're bound to come across your Nigerian female "weirdo" version. Again, my opinion.

Lonehenge:


Thank you. I feel your post captures my frustration pretty well. Unfortunately, it doesn't offer much in the way of solutions. You are quite spot on with regards to the nature of the networking events - typically attended by ladies in their early thirties, whose core goals, i presume is to out-compete other ladies for the relatively few guys in the room. These sorts of settings frustrate me.

My medium term goal is to have a stable relationship that may on the longer term hopefully lead to marriage. In the shorter term, i would like to focus on building my career but at the same time, have a partner with whom i can strongly connect with, enjoy companionship and carefully plan a future with.

Yes, there are many girls in London and I have tried dating outside of what i would consider my default setting - i.e folks from other culture or background. It just hasn't worked out. The bigger problem, i suppose, is that i know what i want, and i feel too strongly about it -

Bros yes I encapsulated your frustration but I also beseeched you to look for a babe that will add value. I honestly wish I could put forward a panacea that will solve this for you, but in reality it's not sensible for me to do so, considering there's no hard and fast approach to finding a woman.

I am happy to make a suggestion though: What you can do is step up your approach to the ladies, ginger them small but use the gist to find out what the babe may offer a guy they're dating and based on this you may wish to move forward with them.

I know I stressed your frustrations in my initial approach, however, there was a method to the madness: I was stressing the need to scrutinise the lady in question before you commit yourself. As you said, you want to progress your career, which is honourable and expedient, but it is absolutely vital you ascertain her plans and intentions to contribute to your hitherto plans or you'll waste precious time, resources and almost certainly compounded your existing frustrations further. This babe waka no b small tin; that's to say even a fun, good time babe may attenuate your career progress, doing more harm than good.

Again, I wish you well and beseech you to shine your eye.

Mayflowa:


Hahaha. U r funny

elektra:

Just noticed you r in Australia. PM me, I could give you a pointer.

Mayflowa:


Just noticed you r in Australia. PM me, I could give you a pointer.

I would love a pointer but I moved to the US two years ago. I should change my location on NL.

Lonehenge:
I am 28 this year and I have lived in London for more than 4 years. I have a decent job in the city and career progression looks good too.

This is good.

My biggest source of frustration has been my loveless life for the past 3 years or so. Day by day I am stuck in the vicious circle of work, sleep, play eat. Repeat. As I am approaching 30, I am starting to get really worried about myself

This is THE problem. Frustrated and worried people are not very attractive. Get rid of the attitude that approaching your 30s is a problem. It's all in your mind.

I have tried a few networking events...notably MBTN and NCITY events, however, I am not too certain if these either adds to my frustration or somewhat provide some relief knowing that there are many others like me out there.

More fundamental is that the woman I have dreamed of - Nigerian roots, smart, open minded, ambitious, confident and fun - never seem to attend these events....maybe she doesn't exist at all?

There is nothing wrong with having standards when selecting a partner for a long term, committed relationship BUT you should bear in mind that it makes you blind to people who could knock you off your shoes if just given the opportunity SO instead of running around the MEGAcity discriminating against people you barely know, start dating people for the sake of having fun. There is a greater chance of falling in love at the second than first sight. And there is a better chance of falling in love when you are relaxed and easy.

Anyway, back to my reason for opening a thread, I would like to know if there are many others out here like me?

Of course. Majority of people find problems where there are none.

Second, for those who have been like me before, what have you done differently?

Other views or opinions are of course welcomed.

Have more fun.

raumdeuter:
Try a Nigerian church tearoses can take you to one

LOL
Come to FOL
29th April
Excel

jaybee3:


I'm also on the hunt Sis of life

All Lairs will go to hell

tearoses:


All Lairs will go to hell

Na human beings go dey hell na no be so?

Make i just jam chick like beyonce for hell lasan

jaybee3:


Na human beings go dey hell na no be so?

Make i just jam chick like beyonce for hell lasan

SMH

tearoses:


SMH

You sef know say na truth i been dey yarn

jaybee3:


You sef know say ma true i been dey yarn

Mo palu de e
I dey come

.