I have been in this relationship for the past 7months, Please i need advice. This guy came with the mindset of getting married, we were actually matched maked by his older cousin.We had an energising 4 months of talking through the phone. During Xmas he invited me over to his family house, there was no official introduction, I also returned the gesture, definitely my family knew who he was. After Xmas he reduced the calls, he claimed he had family issues he needs to settle. Before then, he had invited me to his place, i was busy, so we agreed to work another time out. I tried keeping in touch, though my spirit told me something was wrong. It continued, i started feeling hurt. I made him knw this times without number.

The coldness lingered, so I stopped calling, though I check up on him once a week. My sister had issues with sch, the way she kept crying on the phone got to me. So I dropped my ego and decided to call him to proffer solution cuz he works in the institution. The first time I called I was sad/ angry. Though he told me what to do, and finally the storm passed for my sis.

Finally I summoned courage and pleaded with him to tell me where I stand. I have always respected him that was why I choose this part. After a long wait. He sends a long chat i summary, he can't deal with my sad mood. I tried to talk abt it, BT I guess his mind was already made up. Though he claimed he still cares.

I really like this guy, what should I do?

Aunty why are u sad

Nothing!!!! Just move on i think there is a better Man out there for you. Because of your sister that is still in school keep your relationship with him casual you might need his assistance someday

johnwizey:
Aunty why are u sad

you read wetin she post so?

mistyebby:
I have been in this relationship for the past 7months, Please i need advice. This guy came with the mindset of getting married, we were actually matched maked by his older cousin.We had an energising 4 months of talking through the phone. During Xmas he invited me over to his family house, there was no official introduction, I also returned the gesture, definitely my family knew who he was. After Xmas he reduced the calls, he claimed he had family issues he needs to settle. Before then, he had invited me to his place, i was busy, so we agreed to work another time out. I tried keeping in touch, though my spirit told me something was wrong. It continued, i started feeling hurt. I made him knw this times without number.

The coldness lingered, so I stopped calling, though I check up on him once a week. My sister had issues with sch, the way she kept crying on the phone got to me. So I dropped my ego and decided to call him to proffer solution cuz he works in the institution. The first time I called I was sad/ angry. Though he told me what to do, and finally the storm passed for my sis.

Finally I summoned courage and pleaded with him to tell me where I stand. I have always respected him that was why I choose this part. After a long wait. He sends a long chat i summary, he can't deal with my sad mood. I tried to talk abt it, BT I guess his mind was already made up. Though he claimed he still cares.

I really like this guy, what should I do?

If you like hmmm then quit the relationship till you can work on your never ending sadness and begin to love him.


Make sacrifices n grow in love not in emotions.

johnwizey:
Aunty why are u sad

Honestly, I'm as confused as you are. I don't know if he thinks my reaction to a situation as being sad or angry.

Ahmed0336:
you read wetin she post so?

I shld ask u dat

Him calling me sad or easily angered is like an irony. I even feel humiliated. Bt i like him very much, i want to know if I shld plead with him that I will change "Being easily angered or sad" or I should just let him be.

mistyebby:


Honestly, I'm as confused as you are. I don't know if he thinks my reaction to a situation as being sad or angry.

Mayb u shld work on ur emotions first nd try to see if he's ryt

Long Distance relationship

It's just an excuse to make it look like It's your fault he's no longer interested.
Notice that the problem started right after u met his family and vice versa.
It often happens in match making cases. They finally meet the person they've been told so much about, and the reports just don't seem to match with the individual.

Myosotis:
Long Distance relationship

Yes it is. We communicate through the phone, we talked like every hour, he even freaks out sometimes when he can't reach me. So when he started changing I didn't need anyone to tell me something was wrong.

Myosotis:
Long Distance relationship

Sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

some Silly Nairalanders will tell you to dump him but the honest truth is no sensible man can deal with a moody wife....

Are you bipolar? if not leran to smile alot and enjoy the best in life....thru ur write up i can easily guess he may be right cos your write-up has this sad feel to it

work on urself ,study ur moods you will know if hes right...ask friends and family what ur mood is like

kallmemrB:
some Silly Nairalanders will tell you to dump him but the honest truth is no sensible man can deal with a moody wife....

Are you bipolar? if not leran to smile alot and enjoy the best in life....thru ur write up i can easily guess he may be right cos your write-up has this sad feel to it

work on urself ,study ur moods you will know if hes right...ask friends and family what ur mood is like

Thanks dear. I've tried family and friends, and they are all surprised to hear this, though I feel they might be a bit biased. That's why I'm here.

mistyebby:
Him calling me sad or easily angered is like an irony. I even feel humiliated. Bt i like him very much, i want to know if I shld plead with him that I will change "Being easily angered or sad" or I should just let him be.

You better respect yourself and move on. For him, it's over and you can see the signs clearly. If you want to force yourself along, then goodluck!

enieme:
It's just an excuse to make it look like It's your fault he's no longer interested.
Notice that the problem started right after u met his family and vice versa.
It often happens in match making cases. They finally meet the person they've been told so much about, and the reports just don't seem to match with the individual.

Exactly my thoughts.

Thank ur God he exposed u to a serious fact abt urself. Whether he marries u or not, mood swings is an issue u need to deal with, it is the jnr brother of nagging and emotional psycho is their snr brother especially during childbirth. Many women have this issue to handle

Its ur husband duty to love you, its ur own duty to make urself happy orelse all ur husband effort to love u will be in vain. Getting into mood is ur own psychological responsibility.

mistyebby:
Him calling me sad or easily angered is like an irony. I even feel humiliated. Bt i like him very much, i want to know if I shld plead with him that I will change "Being easily angered or sad" or I should just let him be.

At this age and time you fell for match making I'd rather wait forever than accept match making. IMO the guy is not serious with the relationship that's why he's giving you that flimsy excuse. You are a beautiful lady don't let any man treat you this way. End the relationship.

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your responses.

mistyebby:
Thanks guys, I really appreciate your responses.

It's well dear.. just move on.. it's obvious he's no longer into you, his attitude began even before the incidence that made you sad.. He's just making up excuses. .

However, you know yourself better. .check and know whether you really hv anger issues, if not just move on and never accept what he has tagged you...

Then, I don't think you should go begging him, if he misses you he'll come bk and you can make your decision. ..you've asked for clarifications from him and I think it's ok for now. ..

All the best.. remember there are many fishes in the river. ..

mistyebby:


Yes it is. We communicate through the phone, we talked like every hour, he even freaks out sometimes when he can't reach me. So when he started changing I didn't need anyone to tell me something was wrong.

First few months feels you are swimming with a dolphin ... The last few months usually feels like you're trying to survive swimming with a shark.

Dyt:

Sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!

Angelberry:
At this age and time you fell for match making I'd rather wait forever than accept match making. IMO the guy is not serious with the relationship that's why he's giving you that flimsy excuse. You are a beautiful lady don't let any man treat you this way. End the relationship.

Match making isn't as bad a you making it seem. After meeting they both decide if they want to move to a relationship or not.. .. It's just like every other ways people get to meet.

Myosotis:


Match making isn't as bad a you making it seem. After meeting they both decide if they want to move to a relationship or not.. .. It's just like every other ways people get to meet.

Really I like to meet my man in any other way but surely not match making.

PresVA:
It's well dear.. just move on.. it's obvious he's no longer into you, his attitude began even before the incidence that made you sad.. He's just making up excuses. .

However, you know yourself better. .check and know whether you really hv anger issues, if not just move on and never accept what he has tagged you...

Then, I don't think you should go begging him, if he misses you he'll come bk and you can make your decision. ..you've asked for clarifications from him and I think it's ok for now. ..

All the best.. remember there are many fishes in the river. ..

Lol, Thank you

Angelberry:
Really I like to meet my man in any other way but surely not match making.

Okay Sis . That is Your personal preference ... Just don't put it like she was doing something awfully wrong

Myosotis:


Okay Sis . That is Your personal preference ... Just don't put it like she was doing something awfully wrong

Thanks ladies. Actually this is not the first time I'm being matched made. We see this every time especially when people feel u are ripe for marriage. The only problem is i never saw a sign, he was into the relationship than I was. And this was the first time he actually complained of sad moods or anger issues. And he easily gave up.

Baby, u and said guy took a leap of unnecessary faith when your first meeting was with the family in present. What were you thinking? Guy needed to have seen you first to work out what he could or couldn't deal with before bringing the families in. Whew, leave him alone...let's see if he would miss you too , otherwise, on to the next.

mistyebby:


Thanks ladies. Actually this is not the first time I'm being matched made. We see this every time especially when people feel u are ripe for marriage. The only problem is i never saw a sign, he was into the relationship than I was. And this was the first time he actually complained of sad moods or anger issues. And he easily gave up.

I have seen men easily give up on women, and I know how it feels from personal experience, I can so relate to your story, hence my post about long distance relationship being a No no.

Sis, at this early stage of your break up, despite whatever anyone says here, you will still feel like the relationship can still work (you guys can patch things up and get back to the way things were at the beginning), don't do that to your self, just let it go because it won't go back to the way it was.

I don't mean to burst your bubble or be cruel but your best shot is to let him go, and forget about both of you getting back.

If he doesn't come back you will be fine then if he does come back, you will be able to think weather you want him back or not.

sisisioge:
Baby, u and said guy took a leap of unnecessary faith when your first meeting was with the family in present. What were you thinking? Guy needed to have seen you first to work out what he could or couldn't deal with before bringing the families in. Whew, leave him alone...let's see if he would miss you too , otherwise, on to the next.

This i agree with

sisisioge:
Baby, u and said guy took a leap of unnecessary faith when your first meeting was with the family in present. What were you thinking? Guy needed to have seen you first to work out what he could or couldn't deal with before bringing the families in. Whew, leave him alone...let's see if he would miss you too , otherwise, on to the next.

My dear, this scenerio of family involvement is something I have so avoided from the onset. His cousin is like his best female friend. And she involved my mum in this issue twice. He was aware. So him behaving like there is nohing wrong, is like a tornment to me. We ended it like two weeks ago, and he hasnt called since then. I'm just still trying to figure where the problem evolved from, and use your advice constructively to move on with my life. I really appreciate.

Sounds like you have let yourself loose for him already. That explains the much love you feel even when it's clear to you that he is no longer interested. Honour yourself and let go before you force yourself into a situation that you won't know how to walk out from.

Match making hardly works, don't be desperate.