ANANABA000:


So I'm not asking for how to make it right, I'm asking for how to put an end to this marriage.
I'm sure we have experts in the house including experienced members who know how to end a union.

byvan03:
Well, speak to your lawyer and head to court .

ANANABA000:
Thanks for all the many admonition Guys.
You're all so very awesome.

However, we're missing out a few things here.
I never mentioned that I cheated anywhere in my post, neither was I caught doing that.
I give my kids all the attention they deserve and they love and appreciate me.
Of course I'm not a saint, but I'm better than 80% of Guys in my age range And in same situation.

It's odd to have a woman of the house act the way mine does and I doubt that it's due to hormonal changes.
I unfortunately have the responsibility of living with a woman who still walks the streets in tight jean trousers after two kids.
I've never met her mother after 5 years of wedlock all thanks to her parent's divorce some 20 something years ago.

You know, that category of women, who believe they still have "something to give to society" not just hubby.
Those who invest in sexy pants and lingerie yet don't have the urge for sex with hubby.

That category of women who spend all their time outdoors, while a nanny does all the hard work and have nothing to show for all the wasted time.
That category of women who leave home at 7am and return at 8pm yet their kids look like orphans.

How I got into this?
After two heartbreaks from two relationships. One due to genotype mismatch, the other due to not having family consent. I spun into action to salvage my situation.
I courted for 9 months, I was desperate to have kids then.
I had a string of girls and she was just one of them.

Apparently, she was the one who was desperate enough to endure being a foot mat.
It was all about the baby not the Mama.
I pushed and kicked, I bad mouthed and cursed but she stayed until the pregnancy came and that made me think twice.
Five years down the line I have a home I wish will break.
You need to really imagine my situation to understand what I'm going through.
I wonder why people find it hard to give it up when it's not yielding the desired love as designed by God.
I wonder why I have to live with trying for a happy home for the rest of my useful life when it doesn't seem possible.

So I'm not asking for how to make it right, I'm asking for how to put an end to this marriage.
I'm sure we have experts in the house including experienced members who know how to end a union.

allycat:
My advice is for you to take your mind off sex for a short while and get to know each other again. Maybe she feels all you want from her is sex. Take her out alone without the kids sometimes, for a movie or for dinner take a bat with her wit out inai sting it ends with sex. Play scrabble or whatever game the two of you once enjoyed. Talk to her, if she doesn't come to bed go and meet her and join her in whatever she is doing even if she says it's OK. Become her boyfriend again. Sometimes we get caught up in our roles as parents and forget our spouses matter. Sometimes it's small resentments that build up and snowball into big things.
Then again if your last child is less than two consider post part depression, it can turn the bubbles and most fun woman into a ghost of herself. Everything around them becomes hopeless and they cannot explain to themselves what's more to another person why they are acting the way they do.
Good luck!

ANANABA000:
Thanks for all the many admonition Guys.
You're all so very awesome.

However, we're missing out a few things here.
I never mentioned that I cheated anywhere in my post, neither was I caught doing that.
I give my kids all the attention they deserve and they love and appreciate me.
Of course I'm not a saint, but I'm better than 80% of Guys in my age range And in same situation.

It's odd to have a woman of the house act the way mine does and I doubt that it's due to hormonal changes.
I unfortunately have the responsibility of living with a woman who still walks the streets in tight jean trousers after two kids.
I've never met her mother after 5 years of wedlock all thanks to her parent's divorce some 20 something years ago.

You know, that category of women, who believe they still have "something to give to society" not just hubby.
Those who invest in sexy pants and lingerie yet don't have the urge for sex with hubby.

That category of women who spend all their time outdoors, while a nanny does all the hard work and have nothing to show for all the wasted time.
That category of women who leave home at 7am and return at 8pm yet their kids look like orphans.

How I got into this?
After two heartbreaks from two relationships. One due to genotype mismatch, the other due to not having family consent. I spun into action to salvage my situation.
I courted for 9 months, I was desperate to have kids then.
I had a string of girls and she was just one of them.

Apparently, she was the one who was desperate enough to endure being a foot mat.
It was all about the baby not the Mama.
I pushed and kicked, I bad mouthed and cursed but she stayed until the pregnancy came and that made me think twice.
Five years down the line I have a home I wish will break.
You need to really imagine my situation to understand what I'm going through.
I wonder why people find it hard to give it up when it's not yielding the desired love as designed by God.
I wonder why I have to live with trying for a happy home for the rest of my useful life when it doesn't seem possible.

So I'm not asking for how to make it right, I'm asking for how to put an end to this marriage.
I'm sure we have experts in the house including experienced members who know how to end a union.

tearoses:
Mr Abel202 I really feel for you
but there is a problem.....
any one of those concubines could give you an STD which you will pass on to your wife or they may decide that they want to be a wife too and then you will tear your family apart
having extra marital affairs will also cost you money, time and your conscience and if your wife finds out, your marriage and possibly your children depending on how vindictive she chooses to be.

My question is is your wife really frigid?
Have you sought medical advise as it could have a cause?
I was watching a program the other day where a woman was experiencing serious pain during lovemaking
After investigation it was found that she had a skin condition within her vaginna that was causing the pain. It was Like an Eczema type of inflammation.
She was given steroids and it cleared up

Im not here to preach to you as I dont walk in your shoes and so I dont know where it pinches
just trying to see if there are any better options that you can pursue as I do get the impression that you do love your wife

Abel202:


[b]Thanks for your concern.
Believe me, I have tried virtually everything along these years. When I zeroed down to concubine affairs, it wasn't an easy decision, but it ws an elderly family friend, a very responsible man who revealed to me that he had the same situation and that was how he has been managing all through the years without rocking his family boat.
You are right, its fraught with lots of risk, but one has been as careful and prudent as one possibly could under the circumstances. It's never ideal, that is a fact.
However I am still open to good suggestions, so before I replied you, I just copied part of your write up and pasted to my wife and asked her if she experiences real pains while we are making love. She categorically said no. That I know she has tight Vagina, that its always a bit painful in the beginning but eases when the actions continues. That she is just not too good in love making and bla bla bla. Bottom line is that we communicate on virtually everything. So I have really tried a lot before accepting my fate that I got a frigid wife. I hope someday it miraculously turns out that she really isn't frigid..[/b]

x240:


And why should it be the husband that has to help her get her groove back?


and aside that, your assertion that most women lose apetite for sex is a big lie with no single fact backing it. Y'all Nigerian ladies were groomed to see sex as something not to be enjoyed, something you do just to satisfy him. sleep on the bed tie wrapper and lay like a log of wood. Yes, some males are to blame but most guys would want a lady who is "mad fun and crazy" in bed. Let him try introduce a new style or taking it a notch higher and she starts complaining that she isnt a slut and he cant expect her to do those acrobatic styles.

What do we get instead? Log of wood, no action, dead style of sex. Why won't it be tiring and get boring?


When you would never take the initiative to request for sex or try to enjoy it. Our mothers made the mistake and the new generation ladies are towing that same line again. No wonder there's so much failed marriages and bitter people out there. If the sex was good and mutual you would be 50% more happy and this would sip into other areas of your lives and makes bonding much more stronger.
It is a no brainer.


This is not absolving the male of wrongdoing but you ladies should please remove the "getting old and loosing apetite story".It's boring to hear already.

ANANABA000:
Wow!

Thanks for all the many comments and advice.
Contrary to what most of you Guys think though, I've not done anything that warrants this treatment.
Exhaustion is out of the possible causes because there's a house help that does all the hard work in the house.

Communication takes two to work, I've done my part in so many different ways.
From text messages to Whats app and BBM chat,late night discussion and even third party involvement.

I've threatened to bring in competition with a second Wife, I've threatened separation and all the other different methods you can think of.
She's young at 31 and married to me on a 7 year age difference.

We agreed to have two kids during courtship but other birth control methods between spouses should be considered instead of the condom.
On MouthAction, I wonder how many ladies on here have ever got a tongue lick down there.

ANANABA000:
Thanks for all the many admonition Guys.
You're all so very awesome.
However, we're missing out a few things here.
I never mentioned that I cheated anywhere in my post, neither was I caught doing that.
I give my kids all the attention they deserve and they love and appreciate me.
Of course I'm not a saint, but I'm better than 80% of Guys in my age range And in same situation.
It's odd to have a woman of the house act the way mine does and I doubt that it's due to hormonal changes.
I unfortunately have the responsibility of living with a woman who still walks the streets in tight jean trousers after two kids.
I've never met her mother after 5 years of wedlock all thanks to her parent's divorce some 20 something years ago.
You know, that category of women, who believe they still have "something to give to society" not just hubby.
Those who invest in sexy pants and lingerie yet don't have the urge for sex with hubby.
That category of women who spend all their time outdoors, while a nanny does all the hard work and have nothing to show for all the wasted time.
That category of women who leave home at 7am and return at 8pm yet their kids look like orphans.
How I got into this?
After two heartbreaks from two relationships. One due to genotype mismatch, the other due to not having family consent. I spun into action to salvage my situation.
I courted for 9 months, I was desperate to have kids then.
I had a string of girls and she was just one of them.
Apparently, she was the one who was desperate enough to endure being a foot mat.
It was all about the baby not the Mama.
I pushed and kicked, I bad mouthed and cursed but she stayed until the pregnancy came and that made me think twice.
Five years down the line I have a home I wish will break.
You need to really imagine my situation to understand what I'm going through.
I wonder why people find it hard to give it up when it's not yielding the desired love as designed by God.
I wonder why I have to live with trying for a happy home for the rest of my useful life when it doesn't seem possible.
So I'm not asking for how to make it right, I'm asking for how to put an end to this marriage.
I'm sure we have experts in the house including experienced members who know how to end a union.

byvan03:
If it makes you this miserable, why not just try separation and see if it gets better?

Timbuktou:
ANANABA000, four months you never poke! You dey try o. Ku iroju
Meanwhile, your wife is getting schlonged somewhere.

mission08:

I guess she is also not happy in this union just like you. If you both are not ready to work it out, abeg, let go.

ANANABA000:
Thanks for all the many admonition Guys.
You're all so very awesome.

However, we're missing out a few things here.
I never mentioned that I cheated anywhere in my post, neither was I caught doing that.
I give my kids all the attention they deserve and they love and appreciate me.
Of course I'm not a saint, but I'm better than 80% of Guys in my age range And in same situation.

It's odd to have a woman of the house act the way mine does and I doubt that it's due to hormonal changes.
I unfortunately have the responsibility of living with a woman who still walks the streets in tight jean trousers after two kids.
I've never met her mother after 5 years of wedlock all thanks to her parent's divorce some 20 something years ago.

You know, that category of women, who believe they still have "something to give to society" not just hubby.
Those who invest in sexy pants and lingerie yet don't have the urge for sex with hubby.

That category of women who spend all their time outdoors, while a nanny does all the hard work and have nothing to show for all the wasted time.
That category of women who leave home at 7am and return at 8pm yet their kids look like orphans.

How I got into this?
After two heartbreaks from two relationships. One due to genotype mismatch, the other due to not having family consent. I spun into action to salvage my situation.
I courted for 9 months, I was desperate to have kids then.
I had a string of girls and she was just one of them.

Apparently, she was the one who was desperate enough to endure being a foot mat.
It was all about the baby not the Mama.
I pushed and kicked, I bad mouthed and cursed but she stayed until the pregnancy came and that made me think twice.
Five years down the line I have a home I wish will break.
You need to really imagine my situation to understand what I'm going through.
I wonder why people find it hard to give it up when it's not yielding the desired love as designed by God.
I wonder why I have to live with trying for a happy home for the rest of my useful life when it doesn't seem possible.

So I'm not asking for how to make it right, I'm asking for how to put an end to this marriage.
I'm sure we have experts in the house including experienced members who know how to end a union.

ANANABA000:

Ladies!
Your help with getting me back on track will really be appreciated here.
I refuse to be confused or deterred by my situation.

What i need is a way forward.
Contrary to what you all think, i don't have a mistress anywhere (Hope you can help get one)

I've not got laid since i started this topic and I'm
supposed to be a healthy man with a living Wife.
Your opinions, advice and contributions will go a long way in dousing the tension and depression I'm experiencing.

ANANABA000:

I saw that frown again, clearly as it lingered with the accompanying deep lines between her eyes while she found her way to our matrimonial bed reluctantly.

It was one of our few nights of love making urge quenching.
With her back turned on me in bed as usual, waiting for me to do whatever it was I wanted while she endured?
At the final minute, when it was time to seal the matter and enjoy the spoils of a penetration, I’m interrupted by that soft voice….”are you wearing a condom?”

For months, I’ve watched the coldness when it was time; it has been same ugly attitude.
She’s not the maid or a neighbor’s daughter; she’s my Wife of five years.
We have two daughters between us and that’s the attitude I get when I ask for sex.
I don’t do that often except when I’m pressed but that’s natural.
I don’t know when my woman is in her monthly flow, I get turned down sometimes on that pretext.
I go to bed every night like a young bachelor, alone in bed and wondering how many other men live like me.

Weekends are hell for me, both boring and lonely.
I’m still looking for what hit me, when exactly and how.
I trust a few of you nairalanders can help me figure all that out.
I’m waiting for both sides of the coin.