Your Favorite Quotes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Your Favorite Quotes by AmAlbert(m): 8:14pm On Mar 26, 2016 |
Igbo engineer can't find a job so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR 20k - IF NOT CURED GET BACK 100k. A lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn 100k and goes to the clinic... Lawyer: "I have lost my sense of taste" Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth" Lawyer: "Ugh..this is kerosene" Igbo man: "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me 20k" The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money... Lawyer: "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything" Igbo man: "Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth" Lawyer (annoyed): "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste" Igbo man: "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me 20k" The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back 100k. Lawyer: "My eyesight has become very weak" Igbo man: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this 100k" Lawyer (staring at the cash): "But this is 20k, not 100k" Igbo man: "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me 20k" You can't beat an Igbo man |
| Re: Your Favorite Quotes by AmAlbert(m): 8:17pm On Mar 26, 2016 |
Only a courageous woman can fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any -- ALBERT MACAULY (1872) He who says nothing last forever has never tried hausa perfume -- NELSON MANDALA (1942) He who completely unraps moi moi and gala before eating cannot keep a secret-- ABRAHAM LINCOLN (1864) Any man that use his teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup with his eyes wide open, is not afraid of anything--- WILLIAMS SHAKESPEARE (1900) Anyone who graduates without experiencing strikes, has never been to Nigeria -- LORD LUGARD (1904) He who refuse to mix agega bread and akara as a type of sandwich is a racist -- MARTHIN LUTHER KING (1788) Any man who drinks alomo bitter without squeezing his face is capable of murder--- MICHAEL FARADAY (1899) Drinking garri doesn't mean you are poor, but allowing the garrI to swell b4 drinking is poverty -- QUEEN ELIZABETH (1893) He who runs around looking 4 scissors to cut indomie seasoning sachet is not hungry--- DR NNAMDI AZIKWE (1947) No matter how hot your temper is, it cannot Boil Yam -- GOODLUCK JONATHAN (2013) Anyone who reads this without laughing is either looking 4 job or has Mouth Odour -- ALBERT FORTUNE JUNIOR (2015) |
| Re: Your Favorite Quotes by AmAlbert(m): 8:24pm On Mar 26, 2016 |
One Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother could't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, the son volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates." About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" He said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." He sat down and wrote : Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate .. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, your son Several days later, he received an email from his Mother which read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you DO sleep with your roommate, and I'm not saying that you DO NOT sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under the pillow… Love, Mom. 3 Likes |
| Re: Your Favorite Quotes by AmAlbert(m): 1:46am On Jul 19, 2016 |
They said the world is a small place, please tell me can you trek it |
| Re: Your Favorite Quotes by sarz(m): 7:19am On Jul 19, 2016 |
K . K |
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