Ekaka1:

She regrets this move dearly and has blamed herself all over her post...but does that warrant the foolish decision the man is taking...I think there's more to this.

Yes! I know some men behave like 3yr old baby but she can handle him with wisdom and that can only come from woman who believes in God.
"Man is like a baby in his wife's palm"

@op
I do not think that you ever prepared for the marriage.
Some married women run their mouths like those of football match commentators. You do not have control over your utterances. Your husband does not want you again not because of one thing but the weight of accumulated bad behaviour of yours. Period!
You never worked with good pieces of advice given to you last year when you had a chance to change for good. It shows that you are a stubborn type. I can deduce from this post and the previous ones that you are:
>Stubborn,
>Not beautiful but enlightened (may be educated so to say)
>Too fool of yourself
>No from a rich family or influential background, etc.

In fact you do not have the things that can back your marriage up and still you won't allow the man to be the boss.
I am sorry to sound like this but I think these are the true situations.

My advice
Find a way to talk to the man to remember the old good days when things were "perfect". Promise him that you wont be anything less a person of that time and mean your words. Work through his people and family members. You can still win him back. Marriages for some couples can be terrible in the first few years only to be ok in the later years and vice versa. Good luck!

Ekaka1:

She regrets this move dearly and has blamed herself all over her post...but does that warrant the foolish decision the man is taking...I think there's more to this.

To continue staying married to a woman who openly declared she knows diabolical means and she even considered using it against you is a risk.

Let me ask if for any reason your wife threatens you with voodoo. what would you do?

Like she said the mother changed, Which mother would hear someone wants to harm her son and still make friends with her

If the man decides to continue with the marriage that means he is willing to take the risk

Some statements are better avoided in a relationship. If a man tells his wife,I would get a gun and shoot you or I would strangle you in your sleep. What would you advice such woman?

victorazy:


Madam! God is not a deff God.

Am sorry for ur home but u have a pivotal role to play so that u can keep ur home cuz I believe "man is the head of home but woman is the owner of home"

Why is he leaving u to another woman?
Why did he want to divorce u?
No be other men dey buy their wives car etc?
Why is he hating u now?

Sit and ask ursef some question rather than going about disclosing ur problem to ppl. Am a man, any day my wife go discose our issue with my neighbor will be the day she will never forget.

If you read my post well. I mentioned I didn't discuss marital issues with her. And she is not even our present neigbhour but their old no. Even my best friends didn't know we were having issues. She was suprisevtonhear ofy divorce few days ago. I don't discuss issues with friends. Rather I was seeking for help. Went as far as looking for a counsellor when thing went wrong. But my husband didn't buy the idea. Had to now confide in a family friend. But she went to use me as gossip to his people. What didn't I do? I made some mistakes cos am not perfect. Likewise you. What I want now is reconcilation and mend my home.
Anyways you wouldn't know cos I can't give out so much info here. What I wanted to know. If i was wrong for opening up. Then I will count my loss and move on

I won't dispute the fact my husband is a good man. Took care of my monetary needs but he just couldn't give that affection to me. He never hit me. He had his good sides equally.

Man, woman issues sometimes it just feels like no one has experience what you are currently experiencing.

cionon:


I am christain. I wasn't discussing marital issues with her. I was trying to conceive then. So I met her for advice on her she conceived her after 5years of marriage. That's how it went. He is really serious with the divorce. I don't want the divorce. I have begged him for another chance to change where I wronged him. But he has bluntly refused.

Keep praying for him my dear sister, men can be funny u know, maybe there's a woman out there telling him what to do. Pray, God might change he's mind.

Just checked your previous post. Before I comment, I have just 1 question... how old are U

tossen:


Thus is how a woman goes thru life thinking shr hasnt done well or tried hard enough. If he doesnt come, she keeps doubting herself.
Her husband turned on her because he was scared. Cionon seems like a gentle woman. Her husband was shocked that she mentioned such a thing and he decided to make a move first and threthen her with a divorce. Im also sure its based on the mistresses advuce. Prayer is good. But this woman needs to see a lawyer that will help her secure her home fast. It isnt xompulsory it ends in duvorce. As long as dey are legally married, there are ways she can make him sit tight whether he likes it or not. She shd also pray as you said. Im not against prayers o. But heaven helps those who help themselves

Sis you just ruined a nice post with your last statement..."Heaven helps those who help themselves" it's actually the reverse...heaven helps people like her who can't help themselves. That cliche of heaven helping those who help themselves...is something the devil has used to pervert the word of God in creation's heart. ...you don't get such text in any of the scriptures.

tossen:


I mean advice the old woman who spent her whole life on her knees and watching movies like war room. Its also not christianly to b satisfied as long as you are okay. I never said prayer doesnt work. But its not the only way. It should be accompanied by other efforts.

I never mentioned divorce either. Im completely against it.

You can add those other efforts.

As far as it yields good and desired result.

raumdeuter:


To continue staying married to a woman who openly declared she knows diabolical means and she even considered using it against you is a risk.

Let me ask if for any reason your wife threatens you with voodoo. what would you do?

Like she said the mother changed, Which mother would hear someone wants to harm her son and still make friends

If the man decides to continue with the marriage that means he is willing to take the risk

Some statements are better avoided in a relationship. If a man tells his wife,I would get a gun and shoot you or I would strangle you in your sleep. What would you advice such woman?

Did u read my post? I never threatened him. I only told him I have a heart and would never do such. Besides who doesn't know of magun. I never threatened him
I told him I can never do such which his reply was that he knows I can't do it that I am still a baby.
Yes I was wrong to have said it. But I never said i will do it. Pls it's two different things. That I will do and I can never do such. If i want to magun, would ineven tell him?

cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it.


My husband goes about telling everyone i am diabolic because I jokingly told him that he should be grateful I don't have a wicked heart if not I will use magun to catch him and his mistress. Which he even replied that he knows i dont have that mind. That i am still a child.
this was said around march of 2015

Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confinding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.

I just read you last post about the heated arguments you had with your husband and the hurtful things you both said to each other.
From what I can deduce, you both are stubborn (pardon my bluntness) and you both want to be captains in the ship. You really need to learn to be totally submissive.... Talking back at your husband is a very terrible mistake that men can hold on to for so long, especially if it's something that happens frequently. It is a major turn off in all men.
Then again, discussing your "how to conceive 101" matter with you neighbour is another big no-no. It's equivalent to shooting not just yourself in the foot, but your husband's also. Neighbours are very fickle. They'll turn on you and your husband the moment things turn sour. Even before things turn sour, they would have gossipped about you as far as they can travel.
Your husband would those things, hence, why he was so livid with you...and judging by your last post, you probably would have shrugged and said "there's nothing bad about me confiding in my experienced neighbor",which would definitely make him flare up.
My advice? You should ask for one more chance and promise him you'd change. Tell him he's free to throw you out next time you do those exact same things that pissed him off.
Now I'm not saying you should be perfect and focus on not pissing him off, I'm saying you should make use of that second chance he gives you to remind him of how much you both loved each other the day you said "I do" and how he'd be making a huge mistake if you both got divorced.
(Don't mind my typos, I was in a hurry to point out these facts to you)

Your pussycat is no more suitable to him and probably u r not telling us d true story. I work out of here

Most marriages are dead on arrival, the couple involved always know but will rather pretend for awhile. Nigerians, if it is 2 years old marriage, they advise that the marriage is too young for a divorce, if 10 years they tell you is too old to let go .


Until you get it into your head that what you said isn't why you are being divorced, you go whine tire if you continue this way. Just 27years, you wan kill yourself on top this matter?

Reading comments here.reminds me of why marriages are so dysfunctional these days. People are mire devoted to tye idea than marriage itself. People lose tuemselves to make a fantasy.that is pleasing to the.society.



all you wicked men mistreating ur.wives, and bad women likewuse...Your punishment is doing press up in hell.

All you commentators subduing a woman to misery. Devil is fanning your passports in hell

All all you women subjecting your children to dysfunctional homes. I leave you with this harsh reality. Hell on earth, and still cant make heave because if what you did to your kids. Better be playing with fire now to.get used to ur future abode.

cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it.


My husband goes about telling everyone i am diabolic because I jokingly told him that he should be grateful I don't have a wicked heart if not I will use magun to catch him and his mistress. Which he even replied that he knows i dont have that mind. That i am still a child.
this was said around march of 2015

Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confinding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.

how come you still don't see the reason?

he cheats on you
insults you
humiliates you
gossips about you
and accuses you of being diabolic and basically for you the problem is cos you confided in him.

why are you begging him sef?
I hope you have something going for yourself i.e career, financial independence??

cionon:
I confided in my husband when he accused me of listening to people. I then opened up and gave him an instance that if i listen to people i would ne doing what they asked me to do.I told him the advice a former neigbhour of his gave me. Of which I told her I can't do such. Now he uses it against me. I feel bad because he didn't even say what I told him exactly. He changed the story. He lied about it................
Fastward to November he started asking for a divorce because he of his mistress he met online. Telling both his colleagues and family members that I am diabolic which is not true. I feel bad because this same man have also confided in me telling me things about his boss and others. We are currently separated

I just regret everything. I regret confinding in him and opening up to him. With pleas from everywhere, he is still insisting on divorce.

Please read and apply advice:

FOR SUCCESS TIPS
VISIT:

https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/family/couples-parents/


Some Topics Covered:
Dealing with Differences
https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201512/differences-in-marriage/

How to discuss Problems
https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/awake-no3-2016-june/communication-in-marriage-problems/

How to Strengthten Commitment
https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201506/marriage-commitment/

When You are disappointed with your marriage
https://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201403/disappointed-with-your-marriage/

cionon:


Did u read my post? I never threatened him. I only told him I have a heart and would never do such. Besides who doesn't know of magun. I never threatened him
I told him I can never do such which his reply was that he knows I can't do it that I am still a baby.
Yes I was wrong to have said it. But I never said i will do it. Pls it's two different things. That I will do and I can never do such. If i want to magun, would ineven tell him?

If your husband told you "You should be grateful I am a good person, If not I would have used a rope to strangle you when you are asleep"

What would be your reaction, What would be your parents reaction if you tell them that statement he said

And like you said who doesnt know magun, who doesnt know rope and strangle?

Hotguy27:
@op
I do not think that you ever prepared for the marriage.
Some married women run their mouths like those of football match commentators. You do not have control over your utterances. Your husband does not want you again not because of one thing but the weight of accumulated bad behaviour of yours. Period!
You never worked with good pieces of advice given to you last year when you had a chance to change for good. It shows that you are a stubborn type. I can deduce from this post and the previous ones that you are:
>Stubborn,
>Not beautiful but enlightened (may be educated so to say)
>Too fool of yourself
>No from a rich family or influential background, etc.

In fact you do not have the things that can back your marriage up and still you won't allow the man to be the boss.
I am sorry to sound like this but I think these are the true situations.

My advice
Find a way to talk to the man to remember the old good days when things were "perfect". Promise him that you wont be anything less a person of that time and mean your words. Work through his people and family members. You can still win him back. Marriages for some couples can be terrible in the first few years only to be ok in the later years and vice versa. Good luck!

Amd you knew all these about the OP from just one post? Lol Wow.

huntax:

I just read you last post about the heated arguments you had with your husband and the hurtful things you both said to each other.
From what I can deduce, you both are stubborn (pardon my bluntness) and you both want to be captains in the ship. You really need to learn to be totally submissive.... Talking back at your husband is a very terrible mistake that men can hold on to for so long, especially if it's something that happens frequently. It is a major turn off in all men.
Then again, discussing your "how to conceive 101" matter with you neighbour is another big no-no. It's equivalent to shooting not just yourself in the foot, but your husband's also. Neighbours are very fickle. They'll turn on you and your husband the moment things turn sour. Even before things turn sour, they would have gossipped about you as far as they can travel.
Your husband would those things, hence, why he was so livid with you...and judging by your last post, you probably would have shrugged and said "there's nothing bad about me confiding in my experienced neighbor",which would definitely make him flare up.
My advice? You should ask for one more chance and promise him you'd change. Tell him he's free to throw you out next time you do those exact same things that pissed him off.
Now I'm not saying you should be perfect and focus on not pissing him off, I'm saying you should make use of that second chance he gives you to remind him of how much you both loved each other the day you said "I do" and how he'd be making a huge mistake if you both got divorced.
(Don't mind my typos, I was in a hurry to point out these facts to you)

She was an old neigbhours of their in another state. I didnt even tell her anything. I only asked how how she conceived. I follow ttc thread and wen someone conceives, we ask what yoi did differently. So i asked her and she told me what she did amd adviced me to try it. Which i told her its risky to try.

I asked for a second chance. He said no. That He has already moved on with his life and can't hurt his new lady

Angelberry:
Never you open up to a man whether husband/boyfriend. Tell him what he wants to hear cos they don't reason like women and some can't handle issues .

Lol.

Women handle issues even far worse.

Reason most women fall for silly men who have sweet tongue and say what women want to hear.
Keeping things from your spouse and only blurting it out in a heated moment is hardly a way to gain trust or strengthen a marriage.

Had she told tim during a romantic dinner what she was advised but she didn't take it, would he have reacted that way?
She said the hubby claim they quarrel a lot. OP did not dispute it or elaborate.

I cannot blame her for causing their quarrels as I don't know. But whatever the reasons, the man feels there is no peace in the house.
Men are very allergic to nagging, lack of peace and so on. I guess everyone is BUT it seems the OP is the one who still wants the marriage. Meaning she can still tolerate the marriage far more than the man is willing to.

As for the mistress, I guess the man has already decided for a future without OP, perhaps before even getting a mistress.

Above all, the ttc issue places a lot of burden on couples, especially if one feels the difficulty is with the other person.

cococandy:
You're begging someone who's cheating on you?

I really can't understand how some women reason .

cionon:


If you read my post well. I mentioned I didn't discuss marital issues with her. And she is not even our present neigbhour but their old no. Even my best friends didn't know we were having issues. She was suprisevtonhear ofy divorce few days ago. I don't discuss issues with friends. Rather I was seeking for help. Went as far as looking for a counsellor when thing went wrong. But my husband didn't buy the idea. Had to now confide in a family friend. But she went to use me as gossip to his people. What didn't I do? I made some mistakes cos am not perfect. Likewise you. What I want now is reconcilation and mend my home.
Anyways you wouldn't know cos I can't give out so much info here. What I wanted to know. If i was wrong for opening up. Then I will count my loss and move on

I won't dispute the fact my husband is a good man. Took care of my monetary needs but he just couldn't give that affection to me. He never hit me. He had his good sides equally.

Am sorry for everything.
Your the owner of your home and don't let anybody deceive you to leave it.

Pray for him and never ever you challenge him.

Is ur husband born on August? abi na only son? just askin shaa!

Is like you guys didn't cort, if yes, how long?

raumdeuter:


To continue staying married to a woman who openly declared she knows diabolical means and she even considered using it against you is a risk.

Let me ask if for any reason your wife threatens you with voodoo. what would you do?

Like she said the mother changed, Which mother would hear someone wants to harm her son and still make friends with her

If the man decides to continue with the marriage that means he is willing to take the risk

Some statements are better avoided in a relationship. If a man tells his wife,I would get a gun and shoot you or I would strangle you in your sleep. What would you advice such woman?

Listen friend, people say things when they are angry...some of us behave better under pressure or during a quarrel and some don't . Doesn't make her right but I feel there is more to this...one lousy statement from an angry spouse is not enough to send him flying and filing for divorce ....She says she is sorry and life is a risk..she also risked leaving her parents to join him for better for worse and vise-versa..
To answer your question, if my wife threatens me with voodoo and says She was kidding or messing with me to keep me in check...I will be over reacting to start asking to leave a marriage that is just two years ..plus aaI have been married for a decade and half and I can tell you that even as a Christian...the most diffult years were the first 3-4 years, we didn't have any babies till after the 3rd year..., we acted strangely to each other sometimes...I slept facing the wall , she said very annoying things that touched my manly ego but it never crossed my mind to quit not because I tolerated her but.....because I LOVE HER DEARLY and I still do..if SHe spoke voodoo then I d laugh about it over dinner and we'd make up then..because I knew her well. Please let's stop blaming this poor lady and pray for her or with her...that's my other point.

cionon:


If you read my post well. I mentioned I didn't discuss marital issues with her. And she is not even our present neigbhour but their old no. Even my best friends didn't know we were having issues. She was suprisevtonhear ofy divorce few days ago. I don't discuss issues with friends. Rather I was seeking for help. Went as far as looking for a counsellor when thing went wrong. But my husband didn't buy the idea. Had to now confide in a family friend. But she went to use me as gossip to his people. What didn't I do? I made some mistakes cos am not perfect. Likewise you. What I want now is reconcilation and mend my home.
Anyways you wouldn't know cos I can't give out so much info here. What I wanted to know. If i was wrong for opening up. Then I will count my loss and move on

I won't dispute the fact my husband is a good man. Took care of my monetary needs but he just couldn't give that affection to me. He never hit me. He had his good sides equally.

the bolded says it all.

I can understand how traumatized you are right now, knowing you will lose your meal ticket.

I hope you get a good divorce lawyer, so you can get some monetary compensation to put food on your table. if not, you are on a long thing!


hunger kills!

Pele in advance.

Donlittle:
Amd you knew all these about the OP from just one post? Lol Wow.

I have read all her previous posts my dear (and I said it). I just carried out a professional diagnosis on her through this and those other ones. I was blunt but that might be the truth.

raumdeuter:


If your husband told you "You should be grateful I am a good person, If not I would have used a rope to strangle you when you are asleep"

What would be your reaction, What would be your parents reaction if you tell them that statement he said

And like you said who doesnt know magun, who doesnt know rope and strangle?

There's no need to argue with you as long as I told him I cant do it. Then I am ok. Have you not heard couples saying I will kill you today which they didn't kill. Even my husband has called my parents that they should come pick me up. Hence they will receive my dead body. Did any of us use it against him? That he must be a murderer. Like i said. I can't say much here. Just the important ones

Ekaka1:

Listen friend, people say things when they are angry...some of us behave better under pressure or during a quarrel and some don't . Doesn't make her right but I feel there is more to this...one lousy statement from an angry spouse is not enough to send him flying and filing for divorce ....She says she is sorry and life is a risk..she also risked leaving her parents to join him for better for worse and vise-versa..
To answer your question, if my wife threatens me with voodoo and says She was kidding or messing with me to keep me in check...I will be over reacting to start asking to leave a marriage that is just two years ..plus aaI have been married for a decade and half and I can tell you that even as a Christian...the most diffult years were the first 3-4 years, we didn't have any babies till after the 3rd year..., we acted strangely to each other sometimes...I slept facing the wall , she said very annoying things that touched my manly ego but it never crossed my mind to quit not because I tolerated her but.....because I LOVE HER DEARLY and I still do..if SHe spoke voodoo then I d laugh about it over dinner and we'd make up then..because I knew her well. Please let's stop blaming this poor lady and pray for her or with her...that's my other point.

Not everyone is prepared to play cards with their life. I dont do violence and I dont do threats of violence or harm and I wont take it also. Life is too precious marriage is not by force. One party dies now, she would write statement, sleep cell for a few weeks and move on with her life re-marry and live happily ever after

When couples are fighting you can say all sorts, abuse each other but when it comes to threat to life. Well I wont blame anyone who flees. Self preservation is the first rule of existence

A woman who told you she know about voodoo, yet she is the one cooking your meals, or a man who in a moment of anger threatens to shoot his wife or strangulate her is an accident waiting to happen

You might have the faith to wait with such woman and see what would happen in future some people don't and would take to their heels and I honestly dont blame them. Life no get spare part

The Lowo guy who was killed by his lawyer wife, If he had taken her initial threats serious maybe he would be alive now, But like you, he also thought she was joking and a woman properly brought up daughter of a bishop cannot be that wicked. Somehow she would live her life and Lowo is dead and a loss to his immediate family

Hotguy27:
@op
I do not think that you ever prepared for the marriage.
Some married women run their mouths like those of football match commentators. You do not have control over your utterances. Your husband does not want you again not because of one thing but the weight of accumulated bad behaviour of yours. Period!
You never worked with good pieces of advice given to you last year when you had a chance to change for good. It shows that you are a stubborn type. I can deduce from this post and the previous ones that you are:
>Stubborn,
>Not beautiful but enlightened (may be educated so to say)
>Too fool of yourself
>No from a rich family or influential background, etc.

In fact you do not have the things that can back your marriage up and still you won't allow the man to be the boss.
I am sorry to sound like this but I think these are the true situations.

My advice
Find a way to talk to the man to remember the old good days when things were "perfect". Promise him that you wont be anything less a person of that time and mean your words. Work through his people and family members. You can still win him back. Marriages for some couples can be terrible in the first few years only to be ok in the later years and vice versa. Good luck!

I don't know what to tell you . Yes I am stubborn whivch he knew before marriage But changed abit. You don't know my family. We are very comfortable. I thank God for that. If not my situation would have been worse. I am also very beautiful. So ur analysis about me was wrong. I am here for solution not analysis

Angelberry:
Never you open up to a man whether husband/boyfriend. Tell him what he wants to hear cos they don't reason like women and some can't handle issues .

Wrong Move.


And you will have to define what you mean by "issues" in the context having issues/secrets you know your intended will have a big problem with, of which should he find out from a reliable source outside, what are you going to do? Better let men know the "baggage" you are carrying so that if they can live with it, fine; if not, find someone else who will.

Honestly is good to be truthful because husband and wife should open to one another. So I don't blame u but is also good to apply wisdom at all time. Best wishes

Joavid:


the bolded says it all.

I can understand how traumatized you are right now, knowing you will lose your meal ticket.

I hope you get a good divorce lawyer, so you can get some monetary compensation to put food on your table. if not, you are on a long thing!


hunger kills!

Pele in advance.

From ur connotation I can infer it that ur a single lady, infact u sounds like a hor (no offence) just mu observation.

Joavid:


the bolded says it all.

I can understand how traumatized you are right now, knowing you will lose your meal ticket.

I hope you get a good divorce lawyer, so you can get some monetary compensation to put food on your table. if not, you are on a long thing!


hunger kills!

Pele in advance.

Be nice. None of us are begging. We are very comfortable atleast all three were sent to private schools and went on vacation. I have a job. I don't know how you reason. I wasnt after his money but his affection which I told him