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Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me - Religion (1) - Nairaland

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Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by cold(m): 9:09am On Apr 10, 2016
Hmm..since this involves you & your mum,i would have to restrain myself so i don't say anything offensive. All i can tell you is to exercise a little patience,ignore her as much as you can till you leave for service. Whilst serving make serious arrangements to get a place of your own. Only then will you be free of the shackles weighing you down at the moment.

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Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by shamecurls(m): 9:09am On Apr 10, 2016
What hurts me the most about religion is how Africans believed that a Man in Isreal died for there sins in Africa and same belief accounts for over 70% of the violence in Africa.


Religion is a scam! Its a white mans story.

11 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by JustHere2Observ(f): 9:10am On Apr 10, 2016
I'm not insulting your mum oo...but from a medical point of view, she is suffering from paranoid schizophrenia and the church is making her case worse. She needs medical attention before its too late.

20 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Lieutgood(m): 9:16am On Apr 10, 2016
Whenever I come across posts# like this,I only wished God himsef can intervane and put some religious fanatics in order.They appear 2 b so spiritual too even understand wat they are doing.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by theEYe21: 9:17am On Apr 10, 2016
Sorry to say this about your mum, I think she has a psychological issue, there's a mental illness that has to do with a person thinking everybody is evil and trying to get the person.
mctowel01:
This will be really long, but I beg you to try to read to the end. Its long cos I want you to really understand the situation. This is one of the deepest parts of my life I am about to share. I should have opened a new account for it, but, well, does it change anything. I have to be real here. By the way, this issue cuts across both religion and family.

I am having serious problem with my mother. When I say serious I mean where its come to a do or die affair. The thing is that I am the first son, so I get to be told from my mum about my destiny, how I was born, what I have to do and that evil people want to spoil my destiny. My problem is that my mum has been attending a spiritual church where they see visions. Sometimes the vision could be as vague as "There is something bad in front of you in the spirit, pray against it" to visions of the past like " You use to steal/lie...go and make amend with God before coming back". My problem with the place is that it kept messing with my mind, I didn't know myself cos I was dependent on what one visioner says about me, my mind was revolving around too many things which in most cases re bad things. You know when your conscience i not calm, you are fighting so many thoughts and questions. I cant really explain it but a lot was going on in my head.

My mum is the complete definition of a home-based fanatic(she doesnt go about evangelizing), but her case is so bad that she doesnt even have any friends, and she made sure we never had or played like we should when we were kids all because, she felt our neighbours are evil, the mother of my primary school friend who she has seen just once is evil, our landlord and his wife who even doent live with us are evil and into juju against us, the house they lived in just after marriage was filled with evil people who are plotting against us, all our housemaids are evil and the people who sent them are evil and using them to plot against us, our 2 drivers who use to pick us from school are evil,anybody she quarells with is evil, and finally, Yoruba people are evil while all calabar girls are demonic, infact this caused tension when she said I must not select cross-river for my nysc choice of state because calabar girls are evil. If you have noticed, I have not talked about her view on my fathers relations because it warrants that I talk extensively about ut

My father's immediate brother is evil, his wife is also evil, they are plotting evil against us. His last brother in the village is evil, infact all of his siblings in the village are evil, and they are trying to bring him down. His mother is a witch, his 2 sisters are also witches, so travelling has always been an unpleasant journey I ve never anticipated doing with my mum because it becomes awkward when you try not to eat the general food cooked by all the wives in the family compound, because they are all evil and wicked people or when my mum publicly sprinkles holy water around family members in the compound(family compound) whie binding demons there. It got really bad when she said that my dad's recently divorced junior sister is evil, that they are all conniving together and plotting against us. This is how she puts it "the other day ozy(my aunt) came and was looking at us, when she saw me she started smiling and looking around, looking for where to penetrate and attack from, she now said 'have my children eaten', so that she will know whether to feed them poison." Its really sad and anytime I do not agree with her, a serious quarell ensues. And am really trying to stay on my own. Did I even talk about our tenants?, when we became landlords, one was calabar, so she was always fighting with her, and obviously she was seen as evil to the extent that anytime she called any of us concerning maybe water or light, my mother would be nervous, trying to ask too many questions, from me, before raining curses on her. And it doesnt ened there, we ve been doing all manner of fasting and prayers concerning all these people that God should destroy them and all. We engage into serious aggressive prayers saying that the woman is planning something in her kitchen against us and all, so we should bind the juju. So my mum makes us do all those prayers, that God should destroy all these people with my dad's family members, but they are all alive, living their lives. To her, my father is not himself, he is just the effect of a manipulation from his family members and any good thing that my dad brings to the house(like new car or promotion etc) is as a result of her prayers, cos my father is not himself.

And I am tired, I am really tired, this is not my life, this is not the life I bargained for.This has been on ever since I had consciousness, about 20 years now and yet the same story. My biggest problem which I see is that the more you pray, and yet nothing happens, convinces her that much more prayer is needed and the people are really evil, so more prayer, and hence more prayer for really really evil people. This is going into an endless pointm like a closed curve where you think you ve gotten to the end, but you are still on the same path, but with stronger conviction that you are dealind with something really deadly.

This is where my dad comes to the whole scenario. We are foundationally Catholics, but when I was young my dad, who is catholic before anything else, missed mass on sundays cos of work so was never really spiritual. My dad and mum are complete opposistes in this religion thing. He is not atheist, but he tends to dwell on scientific and logical paths before anything else. Let me say, he is just a simple christian and yess, he has very strong moral nd ethical values. He has never even prayed with us(family prayer). So with my parents being opposite, I guess that's why I wasnt fully indoctrinated doubtlessly into any path, as my mum was a fake catholic then who just went cos of marriage and for sunday ceremony and even held the chapel(spiritual visions church) in higher regard. So it took me a while(2013)to define and decide my stand, where I feel comfortable, and my conscience was at peace. I was one atheist, tho for a short period, but now, I consider myself catholic, tho not a strong one, cos I am not a full believer in all of catholic doctrines. I just can't be part of the Nigerian Pentecostal movement.

Since I have known my parents, they have always quarreled, which I know to be common in many marriages. So I don't know what happened first; whether its the visions given to her that came before the arguments started or the arguments led her to go deep in those vision thing and fully dwelling and basing life on it. My dad has made it very clear that he doesnt want to hear all these visions, he doesn't want to hear that you had a dream at night, infact he lost his mind one day, flared up, high bp took in and was hospitalized cos of this before. But to my mum, its still manipulation on him from the village.

So, my mum has been disturbing my life ever since. I have said that I don't want to be part of all these spiritual stories. It was only bringing complications. This life is too short to be spending it with complications which, at the end of the day, even the devoted mfm memebers go through the same life challenges and misfortunes as an atheist. Unless we want to decieve ourselves, even if Nigerians pray and fast from now to the end of the year, misfortunes or rather challenges will still come, and good things will also come. Luck will always favour some, while some will have to grind much harder for what they want, whether religious or atheist. Change will not come from prayers alone. My mum is part of the people that attributed GEJ's tenure to spiritual issues, that all Nigerians need to come together to pray for GEJ. I have never seen when americans needed a change and rather than fighting for it, decided to pray. It doesnt make any sense. My mum has gotten to the extent of coming to wake me every night to pray, that she saw something in the spirit, that she saw vision, that the house is being spiritually attacked.

The only way I can really explain this is like to be forcing a christian to be moslem, making it a do or die affair, like a life ambition. It cannot happen. Everyday, no peace. I have said I will just pretend for the sake of peace, she doesnt even want me to rest even when I pretend. I will be starting service soon, but what about before then and when next we see.When we pray in the morning, its always drama, because my mum says I must bind different kinds of spirits in my life, that I am praying petty prayer not meant for us. The only passage in the bible she knows is "Since the days of John, the kingdom of God suffered violence and the violent take it by force", and the psalms for war prayer.. We dont talk about the new testament or Gospels. Even when I try to be on my own, my mum wakes me up at night to pray mfm fire prayer, with all the annoying spiritual talks during the day. The other day, she said I should carry my certificate to mfm to pray. I cant do that.. Its not my life. I dont even understand the mindset people use in doing all that, but, I can never confront someone on his choice of beliefs. I believe its personal and as far as you find peace in it, and you are not constituiting nuisance, thats what matters.

I really appreciate my mum, with what she has sacrificed for me. But the fanaticism is really irksome. She has made it unequivocally clear that she wont stop till she sees me grrounded in battleground prayers. Anytime, we are together, she can just flare up and start telling me about all the evil people our family is contending with. Infact it was so bad that we reall had a tough time when the son of my dad' sister, young in his early 20's, came to stay with us after his school, so as to kickstart his career and setup himself. It was war everyday, he was seen as devil sent. This guy was earning 30k/month when he first came, and was trying to be self sufficient to a good extent...Yet my mum said that he was their route to monitor us. Nothing he did was considered good and my mum was forcing me to comply with it. It got so bad that he initially use to buy little stuff like bread and groundnut, when he saw that we were throwing it away, he stopped. My mum accused him of not showing warm regards by buying little things(which she will still throw away). That he is very evil and all. I was really wondering how someone who has a life ahead of him will be having time for all those rubbish. She made sure he didnt have peace till he left. It was so bad that she will be praying midnight, the go to his door and be raining curses on him and his family. Whenever she told me to pray and I didnt curse him also, we always quarreled. I am really tired.

My dad traveled recently, so she sent one of the visioners from the church to come talk to me. I felt stupid. And I have made it clear that I don't want any of those rubbish. I found peace in my choice of religious life in 2013 and made a decision to do away with all these spiritual stories, yet my mum never stops saying that "I will pray to go to the village to possess my possession and inheritance"

Please, is someone also going through this, please advice a brother. I am getting sick of all these.

4 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Rilwayne001: 9:18am On Apr 10, 2016
Jollymich:
At your age you are now a man and she is your mother and will always be your mother for sure but the issue here is " Absolute Control" she is trying to rob you of your fundamental right. Don't touch,assault,slap or beat her but if she tries to use physical force on you jack her throat against the wall for like 2mins just to instill fear on her so she will stop i pray she will not die she will be surprise. Protect your father so she will not cause HBP from her ignoramus. Seriously shout on her to stop . Me i beat my mama and she could not believe it i did not kill her if i dont beat her up the villagers would have set our house on fire but when they came to burn our house an saw me beating my mother they on rescued her and took her to police station for the crime she committed later our family when behind and bailed her since that time she remain loyal even report on time fear me more than her husband that is discipline. But the problem she is not following up so well with family affairs because i brought heavy shame on her andn she felt depressed till now some women are Adolf Hitler that require powerful invasion from manly acts. If you continue to do "Mpi-anya" you will die like one of my father and elder brother that lost there life listening to my mother. Now i made her realize that am incharge and i can send her home to her fathers house because i will occupy my fathers house and preside over it and not her what a rubbish.

Hahahahahaha hahahahahahah grin grin Nairaland waray

6 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Nobody: 9:19am On Apr 10, 2016
Jollymich:
At your age you are now a man and she is your mother and will always be your mother for sure but the issue here is " Absolute Control" she is trying to rob you of your fundamental right. Don't touch,assault,slap or beat her but if she tries to use physical force on you jack her throat against the wall for like 2mins just to instill fear on her so she will stop i pray she will not die she will be surprise. Protect your father so she will not cause HBP from her ignoramus. Seriously shout on her to stop . Me i beat my mama and she could not believe it i did not kill her if i dont beat her up the villagers would have set our house on fire but when they came to burn our house an saw me beating my mother they on rescued her and took her to police station for the crime she committed later our family when behind and bailed her since that time she remain loyal even report on time fear me more than her husband that is discipline. But the problem she is not following up so well with family affairs because i brought heavy shame on her andn she felt depressed till now some women are Adolf Hitler that require powerful invasion from manly acts. If you continue to do "Mpi-anya" you will die like one of my father and elder brother that lost there life listening to my mother. Now i made her realize that am incharge and i can send her home to her fathers house because i will occupy my fathers house and preside over it and not her what a rubbish.

Who is this f. ool. I pity for your life. Remember this comment today, you ll live and have kids that will put double the amount of fear you are boasting here that you ve put in ur mother. Your kids will beat u up everyweek. Remember this.

4 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by theEYe21: 9:21am On Apr 10, 2016
As in! I taya o!
mctowel01:

Deliverance from what?
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mohnarch144: 9:22am On Apr 10, 2016
Hmmm!
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Memyselfu2009(m): 9:23am On Apr 10, 2016
Go to a Church were they don't teach witches demon evil prosperity etc go to a church where they doctrines are only Base from the bible. Go to a Church where they always try to imitate Jesus Christ, Witches exist but I don't believe in it. Churches of our days tells u what you want to hear not what the bible really teach
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by AyeMoJuba: 9:24am On Apr 10, 2016
mctowel01:
This will be really long, but I beg you to try to read to the end. Its long cos I want you to really understand the situation. This is one of the deepest parts of my life I am about to share. I should have opened a new account for it, but, well, does it change anything. I have to be real here. By the way, this issue cuts across both religion and family.

I am having serious problem with my mother. When I say serious I mean where its come to a do or die affair. The thing is that I am the first son, so I get to be told from my mum about my destiny, how I was born, what I have to do and that evil people want to spoil my destiny. My problem is that my mum has been attending a spiritual church where they see visions. Sometimes the vision could be as vague as "There is something bad in front of you in the spirit, pray against it" to visions of the past like " You use to steal/lie...go and make amend with God before coming back". My problem with the place is that it kept messing with my mind, I didn't know myself cos I was dependent on what one visioner says about me, my mind was revolving around too many things which in most cases re bad things. You know when your conscience i not calm, you are fighting so many thoughts and questions. I cant really explain it but a lot was going on in my head.

My mum is the complete definition of a home-based fanatic(she doesnt go about evangelizing), but her case is so bad that she doesnt even have any friends, and she made sure we never had or played like we should when we were kids all because, she felt our neighbours are evil, the mother of my primary school friend who she has seen just once is evil, our landlord and his wife who even doent live with us are evil and into juju against us, the house they lived in just after marriage was filled with evil people who are plotting against us, all our housemaids are evil and the people who sent them are evil and using them to plot against us, our 2 drivers who use to pick us from school are evil,anybody she quarells with is evil, and finally, Yoruba people are evil while all calabar girls are demonic, infact this caused tension when she said I must not select cross-river for my nysc choice of state because calabar girls are evil. If you have noticed, I have not talked about her view on my fathers relations because it warrants that I talk extensively about ut

My father's immediate brother is evil, his wife is also evil, they are plotting evil against us. His last brother in the village is evil, infact all of his siblings in the village are evil, and they are trying to bring him down. His mother is a witch, his 2 sisters are also witches, so travelling has always been an unpleasant journey I ve never anticipated doing with my mum because it becomes awkward when you try not to eat the general food cooked by all the wives in the family compound, because they are all evil and wicked people or when my mum publicly sprinkles holy water around family members in the compound(family compound) whie binding demons there. It got really bad when she said that my dad's recently divorced junior sister is evil, that they are all conniving together and plotting against us. This is how she puts it "the other day ozy(my aunt) came and was looking at us, when she saw me she started smiling and looking around, looking for where to penetrate and attack from, she now said 'have my children eaten', so that she will know whether to feed them poison." Its really sad and anytime I do not agree with her, a serious quarell ensues. And am really trying to stay on my own. Did I even talk about our tenants?, when we became landlords, one was calabar, so she was always fighting with her, and obviously she was seen as evil to the extent that anytime she called any of us concerning maybe water or light, my mother would be nervous, trying to ask too many questions, from me, before raining curses on her. And it doesnt ened there, we ve been doing all manner of fasting and prayers concerning all these people that God should destroy them and all. We engage into serious aggressive prayers saying that the woman is planning something in her kitchen against us and all, so we should bind the juju. So my mum makes us do all those prayers, that God should destroy all these people with my dad's family members, but they are all alive, living their lives. To her, my father is not himself, he is just the effect of a manipulation from his family members and any good thing that my dad brings to the house(like new car or promotion etc) is as a result of her prayers, cos my father is not himself.

And I am tired, I am really tired, this is not my life, this is not the life I bargained for.This has been on ever since I had consciousness, about 20 years now and yet the same story. My biggest problem which I see is that the more you pray, and yet nothing happens, convinces her that much more prayer is needed and the people are really evil, so more prayer, and hence more prayer for really really evil people. This is going into an endless pointm like a closed curve where you think you ve gotten to the end, but you are still on the same path, but with stronger conviction that you are dealind with something really deadly.

This is where my dad comes to the whole scenario. We are foundationally Catholics, but when I was young my dad, who is catholic before anything else, missed mass on sundays cos of work so was never really spiritual. My dad and mum are complete opposistes in this religion thing. He is not atheist, but he tends to dwell on scientific and logical paths before anything else. Let me say, he is just a simple christian and yess, he has very strong moral nd ethical values. He has never even prayed with us(family prayer). So with my parents being opposite, I guess that's why I wasnt fully indoctrinated doubtlessly into any path, as my mum was a fake catholic then who just went cos of marriage and for sunday ceremony and even held the chapel(spiritual visions church) in higher regard. So it took me a while(2013)to define and decide my stand, where I feel comfortable, and my conscience was at peace. I was one atheist, tho for a short period, but now, I consider myself catholic, tho not a strong one, cos I am not a full believer in all of catholic doctrines. I just can't be part of the Nigerian Pentecostal movement.

Since I have known my parents, they have always quarreled, which I know to be common in many marriages. So I don't know what happened first; whether its the visions given to her that came before the arguments started or the arguments led her to go deep in those vision thing and fully dwelling and basing life on it. My dad has made it very clear that he doesnt want to hear all these visions, he doesn't want to hear that you had a dream at night, infact he lost his mind one day, flared up, high bp took in and was hospitalized cos of this before. But to my mum, its still manipulation on him from the village.

So, my mum has been disturbing my life ever since. I have said that I don't want to be part of all these spiritual stories. It was only bringing complications. This life is too short to be spending it with complications which, at the end of the day, even the devoted mfm memebers go through the same life challenges and misfortunes as an atheist. Unless we want to decieve ourselves, even if Nigerians pray and fast from now to the end of the year, misfortunes or rather challenges will still come, and good things will also come. Luck will always favour some, while some will have to grind much harder for what they want, whether religious or atheist. Change will not come from prayers alone. My mum is part of the people that attributed GEJ's tenure to spiritual issues, that all Nigerians need to come together to pray for GEJ. I have never seen when americans needed a change and rather than fighting for it, decided to pray. It doesnt make any sense. My mum has gotten to the extent of coming to wake me every night to pray, that she saw something in the spirit, that she saw vision, that the house is being spiritually attacked.

The only way I can really explain this is like to be forcing a christian to be moslem, making it a do or die affair, like a life ambition. It cannot happen. Everyday, no peace. I have said I will just pretend for the sake of peace, she doesnt even want me to rest even when I pretend. I will be starting service soon, but what about before then and when next we see.When we pray in the morning, its always drama, because my mum says I must bind different kinds of spirits in my life, that I am praying petty prayer not meant for us. The only passage in the bible she knows is "Since the days of John, the kingdom of God suffered violence and the violent take it by force", and the psalms for war prayer.. We dont talk about the new testament or Gospels. Even when I try to be on my own, my mum wakes me up at night to pray mfm fire prayer, with all the annoying spiritual talks during the day. The other day, she said I should carry my certificate to mfm to pray. I cant do that.. Its not my life. I dont even understand the mindset people use in doing all that, but, I can never confront someone on his choice of beliefs. I believe its personal and as far as you find peace in it, and you are not constituiting nuisance, thats what matters.

I really appreciate my mum, with what she has sacrificed for me. But the fanaticism is really irksome. She has made it unequivocally clear that she wont stop till she sees me grrounded in battleground prayers. Anytime, we are together, she can just flare up and start telling me about all the evil people our family is contending with. Infact it was so bad that we reall had a tough time when the son of my dad' sister, young in his early 20's, came to stay with us after his school, so as to kickstart his career and setup himself. It was war everyday, he was seen as devil sent. This guy was earning 30k/month when he first came, and was trying to be self sufficient to a good extent...Yet my mum said that he was their route to monitor us. Nothing he did was considered good and my mum was forcing me to comply with it. It got so bad that he initially use to buy little stuff like bread and groundnut, when he saw that we were throwing it away, he stopped. My mum accused him of not showing warm regards by buying little things(which she will still throw away). That he is very evil and all. I was really wondering how someone who has a life ahead of him will be having time for all those rubbish. She made sure he didnt have peace till he left. It was so bad that she will be praying midnight, the go to his door and be raining curses on him and his family. Whenever she told me to pray and I didnt curse him also, we always quarreled. I am really tired.

My dad traveled recently, so she sent one of the visioners from the church to come talk to me. I felt stupid. And I have made it clear that I don't want any of those rubbish. I found peace in my choice of religious life in 2013 and made a decision to do away with all these spiritual stories, yet my mum never stops saying that "I will pray to go to the village to possess my possession and inheritance"

Please, is someone also going through this, please advice a brother. I am getting sick of all these.

DO not try to go against her...everything in this world has a positive side to it...nothing is completely good, nothing is completely evil/bad. Do not consider her action as all round bad... Just try to continue to pretend till you have your Independence...I mean, you are about going for service, come back, work harder and get a place of your own...when you are on your own, live according to your heart(the positive heart) and if she still try to come around to influence your heart...which she will still do anyway, then be firm and unequivocally tell her to stop and that you have a different view about life altogether. Until then, do not disrespect your mother.

3 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by 912(m): 9:27am On Apr 10, 2016
Your mother needs deliverance.

Please pray for her. What she is practicing isn't Christianity and only God can deliver her. So keep praying for her before she destroys her own family. Because from what I can deduce from your story, your entire extended family Will be fed up with your family and you guys don't have family friends. That is not life. My advise is: pray for her. Pray very well for her and let her know you are praying for her to be delivered.

1 Like

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by tushgirl(f): 9:27am On Apr 10, 2016
Sometimes too much of every isn't good.

I think your mum church(mfm)contributed to her problem.
She is been paranoid and it's isn't her fault,the church taught her so and if care is not taken,she might have mental issue(God forbids)
Get your appartment,i think that the only solution for now.

4 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by specimenC: 9:29am On Apr 10, 2016
asalimpo:

Your conversion isnt complete but move a lil closer to God from idols (mary and the sun wafer - see ya a jack chick comic near you or visit chick.com to know the frying pan you are in ).

Another version of op's mum...lol this one na e-version.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Emu4life(m): 9:31am On Apr 10, 2016
DO U knw wat caused it? Jesus is god and jesus is son of god at d same tym.......u can go and tell dz long story to ur reverends so dat dey wil clarify u if Jesus is god or son of god
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by iPopAlomo(m): 9:31am On Apr 10, 2016
mctowel01:

My mother is not a witch.


I'm not saying she is... but see how quick you defended her... in essence... you're not ready to break free from whatever she is doing... She called other people witches... you didnt defend them... but when she was called one... you reacted...

Life... lol... nothing is serious...

16 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by OsoDupe(f): 9:32am On Apr 10, 2016
Chai, your future wife will feel am o. My advice for you op is you should move far away from her for your own sanity. I have this mfm neighbour during my service year that said he cannot do 'shotput' (as we call it) cos of the fear of someone putting juju on it, this is the fear religion has put on our mind, we see everybody as our enemy, even the Bible says we should love our neighbours as ourselves.

7 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by sirnature: 9:35am On Apr 10, 2016
@ OP I think I know ds church ur mum has be attending(ACPPB) ekpele ufuma
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Revolva(m): 9:35am On Apr 10, 2016
Take a shovel n hit her on her head....eminem style oga ur mama need some psychiatric help she has been brainwashed to a bad point

4 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by klassic(m): 9:37am On Apr 10, 2016
when your father comes back, call a family meeting, sit her down and talk some sense into her. She is doing you seriously damage you will only get to find out in life later.
She is isolating you from your fathers family which is also your family and other relatives. I know she has a duty to shield you from your extended family and wisdom demands this, but she is overdoing it.
You never made mention of her family, does she have any? If yes are there no demons in her family too? why is she not praying against them.
Truth is, if you dont take action as the first son of the family, you will regret it for a long time. should you lose your father due to your inaction, your fathers family will come father your family and your mother will not be able to save you, nor you your mother.

Man up and kick against her policies and ideologies cos u are not only her son, as the first son, you are also her husband and a father to your siblings. So if you dont take care of them, who will. your father is fighting battles on all side, trying to deal with your mother, his family,business and the kids.

Mind you , i am not saying your mother should stop praying, but know where to draw the line.
I am respected by y parents and siblings cos i dont take nonsense from them as the first son.
mine was worse, i was nicknamed the black sheep and was disowned by my dad and had to go start my life. I paid through University, thank God for His mercies. and today my dads greatest regret is that he didnt send me to school. we are back to being friends. And he respects my decisions like kilode and my mum knows my no nonsense altitude cos i am very very blunt like weed.

4 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by awakeuche(m): 9:39am On Apr 10, 2016
asalimpo:
Your mum is effectively paranoid.
You should think about your stance on issues critically , in light of God's word if you're a christian,
then make your decisions.
You dont need to get physical with her but put down your foot in a firm manner that communicates resolve.
Put a lock on your door and forbid her from entering your room without your consent.
She'll try the "children obey your parents " thing - but it will be as a ploy to make you surrender your
will to her unconditionally. Parents have used that bible verse to maninpulate and control their childrens lives to oblivion.
The key, is begin to take responsibility for your decisions and get ready to bear the consequences.

For the pastors, tell them firmly , that you no longer want any audience with them.
And that you wont entertain a next visit. One, no one can force anything on you without your acceptance.
So, men walking up to you and plying you with advice, when you dont want to receive them is a waste of time.

Begin, to take back your life.

Tell, her and make her know that they're barriers and boundaries that shouldn't be violated because of
religion. In civilised countries, a court notice, a restrictive injunction would have been served against her.
To check her excesses.

In a way, your father allowed this and let it grow. Women, are like cars without brakes, they just
flutter to the edge of their emotions. Give them the steering and they can go haywire.
Your father should have take the control of the family and steered it but i think he's a complaisant type
who doesnt want to offend the wife.

You can begin putting this things down.

Note, women are very manipulative. And when a woman, takes the helm of the family she'll want to control others beneath her.
Most women, use the religion thing to bid power in the family.

She's paranoid and deluded. It will get worse if not checked.

Choose your path and stick with it, eventually , she'll give you your space.
sanest piece of advise i'hv heard in a while.... op follow up
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Chidor6(m): 9:41am On Apr 10, 2016
i've got the same experience with my mom but not s excessive. I did a lot of research online and as i'm a medical Doctor, I took to psychological medicine to find out what the problem was. And my conclusion was this: as far as I can remember my mom has always been a little paranoid about a lot of things. Now the religious climate of "the church" tends to worsen these paranoia, especially with "spiritual" churches like mfm. Shortly after she started attending mfm, dreams had a new meaning- mostly demonic or evil. Whoever is seen in the dream, which are usually bad, is evil, except for my siblings and her husband, in which it'd be a case of "familiar spirits"(where somebody transforms spiritually to a loved one to confound you).
How did I surmount this problem? I engaged in logical discussions with my beloved mom. I let her see why it mustn't always be "spiritual" while agreeing that some might actually be spiritual, and thus we needed to pray. With time and diligence and prayer too, the paranoia reduced a great deal.
You don't have to disrespect your mother or threaten her with "independence" or as one comment reads, 'hold her by the throat against a wall'!
You can only win her back to normalcy with love and kindness and understanding.
Apologies for the long write up!

15 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by livebullet(m): 9:42am On Apr 10, 2016
Bros i can feel ur psychological pain....this excessive attribution of all life events to spiritual under-tones by pentecostal fanatics happens to kill ones sense of rational judgement. Ppl fail to understand that God has set life into our hands and many outcomes of our lives, result from our inputs. Before u call me an atheist, i pray daily n i believ strongly in God. But i always pray God gives me the power to discern what comes from spiritual realm n wat comes frm my own in-action or actions. Ultimately, man has no ability without God, but that is not to say we should ignore the "works" we r suppose to attend and believe in prayer without good works. Those two r vital to our salvation...ppl who pray witout workin or witout believin they have a role of input in dia destiny are lazy minded ppl who want God to do the 100%, while all dey will do is make solemn requests. I wud call such "spiritual beggars".

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Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by nenedima(f): 9:42am On Apr 10, 2016
Seriously,so we should applaud u for beating ur mama,u even thinking of sending her out. "somebody's future husband" undecidedquote author=Jollymich post=44213292]At your age you are now a man and she is your mother and will always be your mother for sure but the issue here is " Absolute Control" she is trying to rob you of your fundamental right. Don't touch,assault,slap or beat her but if she tries to use physical force on you jack her throat against the wall for like 2mins just to instill fear on her so she will stop i pray she will not die she will be surprise. Protect your father so she will not cause HBP from her ignoramus. Seriously shout on her to stop . Me i beat my mama and she could not believe it i did not kill her if i dont beat her up the villagers would have set our house on fire but when they came to burn our house an saw me beating my mother they on rescued her and took her to police station for the crime she committed later our family when behind and bailed her since that time she remain loyal even report on time fear me more than her husband that is discipline. But the problem she is not following up so well with family affairs because i brought heavy shame on her andn she felt depressed till now some women are Adolf Hitler that require powerful invasion from manly acts. If you continue to do "Mpi-anya" you will die like one of my father and elder brother that lost there life listening to my mother. Now i made her realize that am incharge and i can send her home to her fathers house because i will occupy my fathers house and preside over it and not her what a rubbish.[/quote]

2 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Contrabanned: 9:42am On Apr 10, 2016
@Op sorry but I think you should book your Mum an appointment with a psychologist. Many of what she might be thinking might be a result of the poor state of mind instilled in her by the teachings of where she worships.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Viktor1983(m): 9:43am On Apr 10, 2016
I'm glad my mum ain't a religion fanatic, it's my dad that tends to be one...

Anyways op, get a job, that's if you don't have one...
Also put getting your own own apartment as a priority, have a one on one conversation with your dad; I'm hoping he's the understanding type and a real homie....
When kids are growing they tend to be closer to their mothers, convert that closeness to dad's angle....
That woman go begin to feel you small small.
Also if she want a binding and praying session you can tell her you ain't interested in none of that but before you talk that one ,make sure u're making your own money oo....
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by saintneo(m): 9:43am On Apr 10, 2016
@mctowel01

Take heart bro!

I hope you peace will help you came the raging storm around you.

If it is possible, you need to move away from your mum; get a job to support you and do some stuff that will fetch you money legally.

Also, put absolute trust in God; yield your aspirations and ambitions to God just as Peter yielded his fishing net to Jesus.

Remain strong.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by ifoundmyperfect: 9:44am On Apr 10, 2016
A lot of people are going thru the same story. Even females too! You gatta know that they'll (mothers) never stop. So you gatta take a stand, you are no longer a kid. It'll be easier for you upon the commencement of your national service.

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Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Mintayo(m): 9:45am On Apr 10, 2016
Op. What is the name of your mum's church?
Arr you a christain? A spirit filled christain.?
Is it possible for you to leave the house for a while?
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by nenedima(f): 9:46am On Apr 10, 2016
mctowel01:

My mother is not a witch.
. He dt craze
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by amtaken(f): 9:46am On Apr 10, 2016
You beat your mum and wanna send her back to her father's house after bringing shame to her?

May God have great mercy on your soul.

Jollymich:
At your age you are now a man and she is your mother and will always be your mother for sure but the issue here is " Absolute Control" she is trying to rob you of your fundamental right. Don't touch,assault,slap or beat her but if she tries to use physical force on you jack her throat against the wall for like 2mins just to instill fear on her so she will stop i pray she will not die she will be surprise. Protect your father so she will not cause HBP from her ignoramus. Seriously shout on her to stop . Me i beat my mama and she could not believe it i did not kill her if i dont beat her up the villagers would have set our house on fire but when they came to burn our house an saw me beating my mother they on rescued her and took her to police station for the crime she committed later our family when behind and bailed her since that time she remain loyal even report on time fear me more than her husband that is discipline. But the problem she is not following up so well with family affairs because i brought heavy shame on her andn she felt depressed till now some women are Adolf Hitler that require powerful invasion from manly acts. If you continue to do "Mpi-anya" you will die like one of my father and elder brother that lost there life listening to my mother. Now i made her realize that am incharge and i can send her home to her fathers house because i will occupy my fathers house and preside over it and not her what a rubbish.

6 Likes

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by ikombe: 9:47am On Apr 10, 2016
Jollymich:
At your age you are now a man and she is your mother and will always be your mother for sure but the issue here is " Absolute Control" she is trying to rob you of your fundamental right. Don't touch,assault,slap or beat her but if she tries to use physical force on you jack her throat against the wall for like 2mins just to instill fear on her so she will stop i pray she will not die she will be surprise. Protect your father so she will not cause HBP from her ignoramus. Seriously shout on her to stop . Me i beat my mama and she could not believe it i did not kill her if i dont beat her up the villagers would have set our house on fire but when they came to burn our house an saw me beating my mother they on rescued her and took her to police station for the crime she committed later our family when behind and bailed her since that time she remain loyal even report on time fear me more than her husband that is discipline. But the problem she is not following up so well with family affairs because i brought heavy shame on her andn she felt depressed till now some women are Adolf Hitler that require powerful invasion from manly acts. If you continue to do "Mpi-anya" you will die like one of my father and elder brother that lost there life listening to my mother. Now i made her realize that am incharge and i can send her home to her fathers house because i will occupy my fathers house and preside over it and not her what a rubbish.
Now this is who i can call a MAN and not all dis babies on nairaland claiming adult angry

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