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Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me - Religion (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mctowel01: 9:33pm On Apr 10, 2016
DIVFAVOR:
I think am standing alone here, @OP look at the way u hv come out to paint your mum black and people are so happy to call her all sorts of names... well my grand mum will always say " nobody can judge against his/herself. Can we pls take a pulse.... if only OP's mum is here to say her own side of the story. My joy is that OP didn't criticize the prayer house or call them names. That means there are more to it.....
I pray for peace in your house... for your mum, she is only doing wat she feels is the best for the family... let's be careful with our words please.
Happy Mother's day to all mothers in d house.....
I don't blame you. You will never understand. If you read between the lines, you will see that it was really difficult for me to post this. But its been going for years. Will i continue like that? None of my close friends know about this and its very silly for you to think i just came to paint my mum black. My mum has sacrificed a lot for me which i will always be thankful for. Like I said, i dont blame you, you just have a faulty thinking. I just hope you don't try this on your children cos they might not have the kind of resistance i have.

1 Like

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mctowel01: 9:40pm On Apr 10, 2016
sirnature:
my parents still attend dat church,my mother is not a visioner, I discussed abt ds ur post to my mum she jst laughed and waz like dat ur mum should handle it wit maturity, dat u she dsnt need 2 follow all the visions, my mum even said dat it got 2 a point dat one of the visions almost destroyed our home wen I waz still little but she jst handled it wit maturity and wisdom....
Gbam!. Honestly, it almost broke my aunt's home, till she and her husband used escuses to leave the place for good.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mctowel01: 9:49pm On Apr 10, 2016
ndcide:
If this story is true, then the @op, himself has a big problem.

Is @op, truly born again, living a victorious Christian life by the word of God?

I'm not supporting anyone from your story, because I'm not really interested in the picture of your mom you just painted. If it's true, you may not be able to do much about it. In fact, it is twisted. Yes it is. But what is obvious in your story is your weak christian life, both in word, prayer and power.

In fact you can easily dump your faith as it stands, that's why I asked that first question in this post.

You need to be born again, associate with Word and worded christians, determine to live a victorious Christian life, not a nominal church person... Sorry I'm not into bandwagon effect that's why I'm saying this.

Your weakness is just too obvious. People who are not deep can't see it. This has nothing to do with visions, binding and casting. If this is you, don't make the devil happy. You should be a light I your home, a pace setter and a trail blazer.... At the level of this story... I laugh... because something is wrong.

When children of native doctors and spiritualist are shining out, braking grounds and influencing and taking over by the power of God through the Holy Spirit,.... and we have this?

I'm sorry I can't give you a validation. There's a hole in your story.

I didn't ask to be preached to. I didn't say i need help with conversion and I don't need validation from you.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mctowel01: 9:52pm On Apr 10, 2016
specimenC:


Who are you decide who is deluded. Or the church which brought christianity to your door step is in delusion?? Just before u come telling me catholics don't go with the bible teachings, remember they compiled the bible and brought it to your door step too.
Thank you. Something many of these pentecostals dont sit back and realize. You see them celebrating easter, yet they dont know how the date comes about, yet they go about insulting catholics. Now every obi in the street claims to be spirit filled, then takes a bible which he has no idea of its origins and starts a church. For what?
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by delpee(f): 10:00pm On Apr 10, 2016
@OP
Pray for your mum...that God should open her eyes and for the awakening of the true spirit of God within her. I believe you're concerned cos she appears to be living in bondage and trying to pull you all in. I wish one could get to know her side of the story.

Based on your story, she's really paranoid IMO. Unfortunately she has some opportunists in the church making her situation worse by telling her visions which tally with her mindset. You may need to dig deep into her roots to know what she experienced in the past that brought this about. Usually there's a reason. It may be wise to debunk those issues. A Christian psychologist who has deep knowledge of the bible may also be of help.

Meanwhile you should avoid confronting her. Learn to keep quiet and pray fervently for God's leading. Also talk to your dad about your fears. May God deliver her and bring peace and joy to your home.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by gemale(m): 10:17pm On Apr 10, 2016
mctowel01:

My mother is not a witch.
Then she needs 2 stop acting lyk 1. No b until person start dey fly 4 nyt dey drink blood b4 person b witch. Only a witch wld b prayin 4 fellow humans 2 die. Abi she no get bible wey jesus talk 4 inside "love ur enemies, do gud 2 those who hate u, bless those who curse u"? As 4 my advice 2 u. No 4low ur mama argue because her own case don pass wetin person fit fix. Na only God fit help am. Just tell her ur church mind calmly & stick wt it come rain, sunshine, hell & high water. If she reports u 2 those seers 4 her church, tell dem ur church mind also & tell dem say no b by force 2 dey do wetin dem dey do. After all no b only dem go dey heaven. Lastly go buy correct earpiece & mp3 phone 2 use 4 ear when she start her wahala. E go hard o bt just try.Shikena.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by gemale(m): 10:43pm On Apr 10, 2016
AyeMoJuba:


DO not try to go against her...everything in this world has a positive side to it...nothing is completely good, nothing is completely evil/bad. Do not consider her action as all round bad... Just try to continue to pretend till you have your Independence...I mean, you are about going for service, come back, work harder and get a place of your own...when you are on your own, live according to your heart(the positive heart) and if she still try to come around to influence your heart...which she will still do anyway, then be firm and unequivocally tell her to stop and that you have a different view about life altogether. Until then, do not disrespect your mother.
Oga na full force i dey take bite tongue nt 2 giv u correct insult. U wnt make im dey pretend in d name of 'respect'? Go luk 4 d meaning of respect 4 dictionary because dt 1 u dey talk na fear nt respect. His mom is obviously a hyper-paranoid religious fanatic & u want him 2 ignore commonsense & follow her 2 indulge in such folly because he's financially dependent on her. So if his mother tells him 2 drink poison in d name of her religion, he shld do it because of 'respect' abi? Abegi we africans need 2 strip ourselves of dis "parents & elders r always ryt" bull crap. Age & wisdom r 2 different things if nt methuselah 4 don b d wisest man 4 bible. We hv 2 acept dt bein d humans dt dey r, dey sometimes r wrong & we shld nt shy 4rm pointing out their flaws 2 dem. In dis case, d woman is clearly overboard & d dude needs 2 take a stand against her manipulations & tyranny 4 d sake of his mental well being.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by kpolli(m): 11:07pm On Apr 10, 2016
mctowel01:
This will be really long, but I beg you to try to read to the end. Its long cos I want you to really understand the situation. This is one of the deepest parts of my life I am about to share. I should have opened a new account for it, but, well, does it change anything. I have to be real here. By the way, this issue cuts across both religion and family.

I am having serious problem with my mother. When I say serious I mean where its come to a do or die affair. The thing is that I am the first son, so I get to be told from my mum about my destiny, how I was born, what I have to do and that evil people want to spoil my destiny. My problem is that my mum has been attending a spiritual church where they see visions. Sometimes the vision could be as vague as "There is something bad in front of you in the spirit, pray against it" to visions of the past like " You use to steal/lie...go and make amend with God before coming back". My problem with the place is that it kept messing with my mind, I didn't know myself cos I was dependent on what one visioner says about me, my mind was revolving around too many things which in most cases re bad things. You know when your conscience i not calm, you are fighting so many thoughts and questions. I cant really explain it but a lot was going on in my head.

My mum is the complete definition of a home-based fanatic(she doesnt go about evangelizing), but her case is so bad that she doesnt even have any friends, and she made sure we never had or played like we should when we were kids all because, she felt our neighbours are evil, the mother of my primary school friend who she has seen just once is evil, our landlord and his wife who even doent live with us are evil and into juju against us, the house they lived in just after marriage was filled with evil people who are plotting against us, all our housemaids are evil and the people who sent them are evil and using them to plot against us, our 2 drivers who use to pick us from school are evil,anybody she quarells with is evil, and finally, Yoruba people are evil while all calabar girls are demonic, infact this caused tension when she said I must not select cross-river for my nysc choice of state because calabar girls are evil. If you have noticed, I have not talked about her view on my fathers relations because it warrants that I talk extensively about ut

My father's immediate brother is evil, his wife is also evil, they are plotting evil against us. His last brother in the village is evil, infact all of his siblings in the village are evil, and they are trying to bring him down. His mother is a witch, his 2 sisters are also witches, so travelling has always been an unpleasant journey I ve never anticipated doing with my mum because it becomes awkward when you try not to eat the general food cooked by all the wives in the family compound, because they are all evil and wicked people or when my mum publicly sprinkles holy water around family members in the compound(family compound) whie binding demons there. It got really bad when she said that my dad's recently divorced junior sister is evil, that they are all conniving together and plotting against us. This is how she puts it "the other day ozy(my aunt) came and was looking at us, when she saw me she started smiling and looking around, looking for where to penetrate and attack from, she now said 'have my children eaten', so that she will know whether to feed them poison." Its really sad and anytime I do not agree with her, a serious quarell ensues. And am really trying to stay on my own. Did I even talk about our tenants?, when we became landlords, one was calabar, so she was always fighting with her, and obviously she was seen as evil to the extent that anytime she called any of us concerning maybe water or light, my mother would be nervous, trying to ask too many questions, from me, before raining curses on her. And it doesnt ened there, we ve been doing all manner of fasting and prayers concerning all these people that God should destroy them and all. We engage into serious aggressive prayers saying that the woman is planning something in her kitchen against us and all, so we should bind the juju. So my mum makes us do all those prayers, that God should destroy all these people with my dad's family members, but they are all alive, living their lives. To her, my father is not himself, he is just the effect of a manipulation from his family members and any good thing that my dad brings to the house(like new car or promotion etc) is as a result of her prayers, cos my father is not himself.

And I am tired, I am really tired, this is not my life, this is not the life I bargained for.This has been on ever since I had consciousness, about 20 years now and yet the same story. My biggest problem which I see is that the more you pray, and yet nothing happens, convinces her that much more prayer is needed and the people are really evil, so more prayer, and hence more prayer for really really evil people. This is going into an endless pointm like a closed curve where you think you ve gotten to the end, but you are still on the same path, but with stronger conviction that you are dealind with something really deadly.

This is where my dad comes to the whole scenario. We are foundationally Catholics, but when I was young my dad, who is catholic before anything else, missed mass on sundays cos of work so was never really spiritual. My dad and mum are complete opposistes in this religion thing. He is not atheist, but he tends to dwell on scientific and logical paths before anything else. Let me say, he is just a simple christian and yess, he has very strong moral nd ethical values. He has never even prayed with us(family prayer). So with my parents being opposite, I guess that's why I wasnt fully indoctrinated doubtlessly into any path, as my mum was a fake catholic then who just went cos of marriage and for sunday ceremony and even held the chapel(spiritual visions church) in higher regard. So it took me a while(2013)to define and decide my stand, where I feel comfortable, and my conscience was at peace. I was one atheist, tho for a short period, but now, I consider myself catholic, tho not a strong one, cos I am not a full believer in all of catholic doctrines. I just can't be part of the Nigerian Pentecostal movement.

Since I have known my parents, they have always quarreled, which I know to be common in many marriages. So I don't know what happened first; whether its the visions given to her that came before the arguments started or the arguments led her to go deep in those vision thing and fully dwelling and basing life on it. My dad has made it very clear that he doesnt want to hear all these visions, he doesn't want to hear that you had a dream at night, infact he lost his mind one day, flared up, high bp took in and was hospitalized cos of this before. But to my mum, its still manipulation on him from the village.

So, my mum has been disturbing my life ever since. I have said that I don't want to be part of all these spiritual stories. It was only bringing complications. This life is too short to be spending it with complications which, at the end of the day, even the devoted mfm memebers go through the same life challenges and misfortunes as an atheist. Unless we want to decieve ourselves, even if Nigerians pray and fast from now to the end of the year, misfortunes or rather challenges will still come, and good things will also come. Luck will always favour some, while some will have to grind much harder for what they want, whether religious or atheist. Change will not come from prayers alone. My mum is part of the people that attributed GEJ's tenure to spiritual issues, that all Nigerians need to come together to pray for GEJ. I have never seen when americans needed a change and rather than fighting for it, decided to pray. It doesnt make any sense. My mum has gotten to the extent of coming to wake me every night to pray, that she saw something in the spirit, that she saw vision, that the house is being spiritually attacked.

The only way I can really explain this is like to be forcing a christian to be moslem, making it a do or die affair, like a life ambition. It cannot happen. Everyday, no peace. I have said I will just pretend for the sake of peace, she doesnt even want me to rest even when I pretend. I will be starting service soon, but what about before then and when next we see.When we pray in the morning, its always drama, because my mum says I must bind different kinds of spirits in my life, that I am praying petty prayer not meant for us. The only passage in the bible she knows is "Since the days of John, the kingdom of God suffered violence and the violent take it by force", and the psalms for war prayer.. We dont talk about the new testament or Gospels. Even when I try to be on my own, my mum wakes me up at night to pray mfm fire prayer, with all the annoying spiritual talks during the day. The other day, she said I should carry my certificate to mfm to pray. I cant do that.. Its not my life. I dont even understand the mindset people use in doing all that, but, I can never confront someone on his choice of beliefs. I believe its personal and as far as you find peace in it, and you are not constituiting nuisance, thats what matters.

I really appreciate my mum, with what she has sacrificed for me. But the fanaticism is really irksome. She has made it unequivocally clear that she wont stop till she sees me grrounded in battleground prayers. Anytime, we are together, she can just flare up and start telling me about all the evil people our family is contending with. Infact it was so bad that we reall had a tough time when the son of my dad' sister, young in his early 20's, came to stay with us after his school, so as to kickstart his career and setup himself. It was war everyday, he was seen as devil sent. This guy was earning 30k/month when he first came, and was trying to be self sufficient to a good extent...Yet my mum said that he was their route to monitor us. Nothing he did was considered good and my mum was forcing me to comply with it. It got so bad that he initially use to buy little stuff like bread and groundnut, when he saw that we were throwing it away, he stopped. My mum accused him of not showing warm regards by buying little things(which she will still throw away). That he is very evil and all. I was really wondering how someone who has a life ahead of him will be having time for all those rubbish. She made sure he didnt have peace till he left. It was so bad that she will be praying midnight, the go to his door and be raining curses on him and his family. Whenever she told me to pray and I didnt curse him also, we always quarreled. I am really tired.

My dad traveled recently, so she sent one of the visioners from the church to come talk to me. I felt stupid. And I have made it clear that I don't want any of those rubbish. I found peace in my choice of religious life in 2013 and made a decision to do away with all these spiritual stories, yet my mum never stops saying that "I will pray to go to the village to possess my possession and inheritance"

Please, is someone also going through this, please advice a brother. I am getting sick of all these.

Now I guess the Visionary Church you talked about is MFM.

I have been a member of MFM for more than a decade now and though I agree that there are paranoid people in church, I believe the level you just described is really alarming...... From my observation, this is caused by frustration. Now you need to find out what brought about all these.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Ogbulaba(m): 11:47pm On Apr 10, 2016
some mothers sha.... my own case no even near ur own but where my own bad reach b say my name dey be prayer point just cos she( my mom) tinks I'm not spiritual enuf.
bro d only advice I can give u is to ignore her no matter wetin she dey yarn n if dose so called MOG's come preach for u, ogbeni cut den better warning e go surely stop
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by slimyem: 5:43am On Apr 11, 2016
Hi mctowel01, I laughed all through reading your story because it was so familiar. I can identify with it to a certain extent. My mum's wasn't as bad as yours but was bad nonetheless. I think hers was strengthened by the white garment church she was attending.
While I do not want to talk down white garment churches, I have a problem with their teachings and prayer directions. It is mostly about the enemy and destroying them. Even the psalms they pay attention to are the battle /war psalms. My mum practically lived her life like everyone was after her. Her paranoia was well fed by the church, the prophets and their messages. It was a very unhealthy lifestyle.
Like you, all food or gifts from anyone not a part of the immediate family ended up in the bin. Everyone not immediate family was a suspect. She has a sister(my aunt ) who's like that too. Woe betides anyone who shows up in their dreams doing anything at all. The person's tagged as having evil intentions towards them thereafter. We have all come to understand, ignore and trash their opinions or thoughts in this regard. It is more amusing now than annoying and they have little control over us all as everyone's an adult now.
I think it'd be the same with you when you attain a certain level of independence. You'd be able to take your stand or at most walk away from those situations/conversations. You can also just nod your head in agreement to her just for the peace's sake. There no point battling or arguing it.
I do wish you all the best.

1 Like

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mctowel01: 6:29am On Apr 11, 2016
slimyem:
Hi mctowel01, I laughed all through reading your story because it was so familiar. I can identify with it to a certain extent. My mum's wasn't as bad as yours but was bad nonetheless. I think hers was strengthened by the white garment church she was attending.
While I do not want to talk down white garment churches, I have a problem with their teachings and prayer directions. It is mostly about the enemy and destroying them. Even the psalms they pay attention to are the battle /war psalms. My mum practically lived her life like everyone was after her. Her paranoia was well fed by the church, the prophets and their messages. It was a very unhealthy lifestyle.
Like you, all food or gifts from anyone not a part of the immediate family ended up in the bin. Everyone not immediate family was a suspect. She has a sister(my aunt ) who's like that too. Woe betides anyone who shows up in their dreams doing anything at all. The person's tagged as having evil intentions towards them thereafter. We have all come to understand, ignore and trash their opinions or thoughts in this regard. It is more amusing now than annoying and they have little control over us all as everyone's an adult now.
I think it'd be the same with you when you attain a certain level of independence. You'd be able to take your stand or at most walk away from those situations/conversations. You can also just nod your head in agreement to her just for the peace's sake. There no point battling or arguing it.
I do wish you all the best.

Thank you. Wish you well too sir
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Emyben(m): 10:19am On Apr 11, 2016
asalimpo:

You are right Christ condemned the idol-kissing apostasy called catholicism.
Where a mere piss-passing , jerk-off of a man who needs forgiveness is who you extol as God on earth!
Catholicism dragged all the pagan apostasy of the heathen world and christianized it and you say it is christian? You need help.

Thru its pagan doctrine of purgatory , it sends more people to hell.
I shouldnt judge - your head correct so.
Maybe you are one of those modern day idol worshipping brainwashed masses in its grip.

Now you just exposed yaself and your intentions. Peeps like you aint who the OP needs for advice. You are filled with hate and hate as much as you like, Heaven and Earth finds people like you disgusting!

I only hope you find peace of heart one day to be able to serve your God in whatever silly and stupid way you want to and let others 'the so called heathens' like you called them serve theirs and then leave the judgement to God.

Stoopid Bigot! You are the reason why Christ is probably ashamed of Modern Christianity.
Get a life bro or you go commit suicide. No Catholic knows you exist and none will probably know when you die of Hate towards them. mtcheew, Swerve
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by tommy589(m): 2:55pm On Apr 11, 2016
I read few lines of your write up and I realized your mum is not too different from mine.You have to start taken decisions on ur own, and when you have the opportunity to live away from her do so without looking back.I left home when I was 17,knowing if I stayed I would have killed her.She has nothing good to say about anyone even those that helped her.She dreamt so much that I started calling her 'Josephine the dreamer' I still sent her a message few days ago about her negative thought and talk about people.I always ask my dad how he got into relationship with her in the first place not to talk of marrying her.
Your mother is not going to change,prepare your mind it is going to be worst not better.She is going to ruin any relationship you have with friends,employer/s,girls or any helper if you let her be in contact with them. I am 47 now and she is still at her negative best.
We changed church so much to the extent of going to a calabar speaking church while we are yoruba and can't even hear a word of their sermon or prayer.This childhood church sampling affected my relationship with christ until like 2 yrs ago.

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Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by favouryemmy: 4:09pm On Apr 11, 2016
I agree that your mom is taking it too far, but the truth is that you need Jesus Christ in your life as your personal Lord and Saviour.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by asalimpo(m): 11:14pm On Apr 11, 2016
Emyben:


Now you just exposed yaself and your intentions. Peeps like you aint who the OP needs for advice. You are filled with hate and hate as much as you like, Heaven and Earth finds people like you disgusting!

I only hope you find peace of heart one day to be able to serve your God in whatever silly and stupid way you want to and let others 'the so called heathens' like you called them serve theirs and then leave the judgement to God.

Stoopid Bigot! You are the reason why Christ is probably ashamed of Modern Christianity.
Get a life bro or you go commit suicide. No Catholic knows you exist and none will probably know when you die of Hate towards them. mtcheew, Swerve
You must be a dyed in the wool catholic. All i can say to your brain-washed types, is to research the apostasy you've gotten yourselves in.
They brought slimy heathen pagan idols and practices , washed them and dressed up in the new garbs and resold them in a new form - as a version of christianity and you all bought it all - hook,line and sinker. Gullible, masses with their brains switched off.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by asalimpo(m): 11:22pm On Apr 11, 2016
tommy589:
I read few lines of your write up and I realized your mum is not too different from mine.You have to start taken decisions on ur own, and when you have the opportunity to live away from her do so without looking back.I left home when I was 17,knowing if I stayed I would have killed her.She has nothing good to say about anyone even those that helped her.She dreamt so much that I started calling her 'Josephine the dreamer' I still sent her a message few days ago about her negative thought and talk about people.I always ask my dad how he got into relationship with her in the first place not to talk of marrying her.
Your mother is not going to change,prepare your mind it is going to be worst not better.She is going to ruin any relationship you have with friends,employer/s,girls or any helper if you let her be in contact with them. I am 47 now and she is still at her negative best.
We changed church so much to the extent of going to a calabar speaking church while we are yoruba and can't even hear a word of their sermon or prayer.This childhood church sampling affected my relationship with christ until like 2 yrs ago.
Bros, on a serious note. Some entities called parents will be judged and sent to hell for how they treated God's gift to them - their children.
I read of one lady that did a first degree 3 times,because her father kept sending her back to school to do the degree he wanted not what she wanted . It's always what the parents want. Yet she was still justifying the meddling of the father!
We have a culture that deify parents. And parents enforce this manipulation for their selfish gain.

1 Like

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by tommy589(m): 8:57am On Apr 12, 2016
asalimpo:

Bros, on a serious note. Some entities called parents will be judged and sent to hell for how they treated God's gift to them - their children.
I read of one lady that did a first degree 3 times,because her father kept sending her back to school to do the degree he wanted not what she wanted . It's always what the parents want. Yet she was still justifying the meddling of the father!
We have a culture that deify parents. And parents enforce this manipulation for their selfish gain.

You are very right about the reason for this manipulative way.The op wrote about my pains, and now i know i am not the only with a different mother. Because when people talk lovingly of their mothers and i cant relate with that mother/child relationship it makes me to wonder if my mother is from another planet or i am the odd guy
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by asalimpo(m): 12:27pm On Apr 12, 2016
gemale:

Then she needs 2 stop acting lyk 1. No b until person start dey fly 4 nyt dey drink blood b4 person b witch. Only a witch wld b prayin 4 fellow humans 2 die. Abi she no get bible wey jesus talk 4 inside "love ur enemies, do gud 2 those who hate u, bless those who curse u"? As 4 my advice 2 u. No 4low ur mama argue because her own case don pass wetin person fit fix. Na only God fit help am. Just tell her ur church mind calmly & stick wt it come rain, sunshine, hell & high water. If she reports u 2 those seers 4 her church, tell dem ur church mind also & tell dem say no b by force 2 dey do wetin dem dey do. After all no b only dem go dey heaven. Lastly go buy correct earpiece & mp3 phone 2 use 4 ear when she start her wahala. E go hard o bt just try.Shikena.
which one be church mind- that term always intrigues me. abeg explain.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Emyben(m): 12:39pm On Apr 12, 2016
asalimpo:

You must be a dyed in the wool catholic. All i can say to your brain-washed types, is to research the apostasy you've gotten yourselves in.
They brought slimy heathen pagan idols and practices , washed them and dressed up in the new garbs and resold them in a new form - as a version of christianity and you all bought it all - hook,line and sinker. Gullible, masses with their brains switched off.

Hahaha, You can keep ranting in pains and hatred. May God grant you a clean heart.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by asalimpo(m): 12:42pm On Apr 12, 2016
julsuc:
my dear i wonder o.How can someone beat his or her mother,no matter what she has done.Remember whatsoever one sow shall d person also reap.
there's forgiveness for all sins. Besides, parents abuse their rights knowing and expecting that the children (slaves) will not react.
That bashing made the mother know the son means business. I'm sure , she never misbehaved again.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by asalimpo(m): 12:44pm On Apr 12, 2016
Emyben:


Hahaha, You can keep ranting in pains and hatred. May God grant you a clean heart.
You have a right to kiss ur idols bro. And chew that wafer. willfully deluded.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Emyben(m): 12:57pm On Apr 12, 2016
asalimpo:

You have a right to kiss ur idols bro. And chew that wafer. willfully deluded.

Call it a wafer if you like. Beneath ya tone lies a pain that Catholicism still grows despite your hate.

So yes, ama eat my Eucharist.

Keep being deluded in ya frustrated zone. Only a clean heart and love will save you.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by asalimpo(m): 1:06pm On Apr 12, 2016
Emyben:


Call it a wafer if you like. Beneath ya tone lies a pain that Catholicism still grows despite your hate.

So yes, ama eat my Eucharist.

Keep being deluded in ya frustrated zone. Only a clean heart and love will save you.
As if i knew! You are an effing sun worshipper.
And your thrashing was because the truth had hit a nerve...
prayed to your patron saint today ?
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by ApostleT: 1:55pm On Apr 12, 2016
mctowel01:
This will be really long, but I beg you to try to read to the end. Its long cos I want you to really understand the situation. This is one of the deepest parts of my life I am about to share. I should have opened a new account for it, but, well, does it change anything. I have to be real here. By the way, this issue cuts across both religion and family.

I am having serious problem with my mother. When I say serious I mean where its come to a do or die affair. The thing is that I am the first son, so I get to be told from my mum about my destiny, how I was born, what I have to do and that evil people want to spoil my destiny. My problem is that my mum has been attending a spiritual church where they see visions. Sometimes the vision could be as vague as "There is something bad in front of you in the spirit, pray against it" to visions of the past like " You use to steal/lie...go and make amend with God before coming back". My problem with the place is that it kept messing with my mind, I didn't know myself cos I was dependent on what one visioner says about me, my mind was revolving around too many things which in most cases re bad things. You know when your conscience i not calm, you are fighting so many thoughts and questions. I cant really explain it but a lot was going on in my head.

My mum is the complete definition of a home-based fanatic(she doesnt go about evangelizing), but her case is so bad that she doesnt even have any friends, and she made sure we never had or played like we should when we were kids all because, she felt our neighbours are evil, the mother of my primary school friend who she has seen just once is evil, our landlord and his wife who even doent live with us are evil and into juju against us, the house they lived in just after marriage was filled with evil people who are plotting against us, all our housemaids are evil and the people who sent them are evil and using them to plot against us, our 2 drivers who use to pick us from school are evil,anybody she quarells with is evil, and finally, Yoruba people are evil while all calabar girls are demonic, infact this caused tension when she said I must not select cross-river for my nysc choice of state because calabar girls are evil. If you have noticed, I have not talked about her view on my fathers relations because it warrants that I talk extensively about ut

My father's immediate brother is evil, his wife is also evil, they are plotting evil against us. His last brother in the village is evil, infact all of his siblings in the village are evil, and they are trying to bring him down. His mother is a witch, his 2 sisters are also witches, so travelling has always been an unpleasant journey I ve never anticipated doing with my mum because it becomes awkward when you try not to eat the general food cooked by all the wives in the family compound, because they are all evil and wicked people or when my mum publicly sprinkles holy water around family members in the compound(family compound) whie binding demons there. It got really bad when she said that my dad's recently divorced junior sister is evil, that they are all conniving together and plotting against us. This is how she puts it "the other day ozy(my aunt) came and was looking at us, when she saw me she started smiling and looking around, looking for where to penetrate and attack from, she now said 'have my children eaten', so that she will know whether to feed them poison." Its really sad and anytime I do not agree with her, a serious quarell ensues. And am really trying to stay on my own. Did I even talk about our tenants?, when we became landlords, one was calabar, so she was always fighting with her, and obviously she was seen as evil to the extent that anytime she called any of us concerning maybe water or light, my mother would be nervous, trying to ask too many questions, from me, before raining curses on her. And it doesnt ened there, we ve been doing all manner of fasting and prayers concerning all these people that God should destroy them and all. We engage into serious aggressive prayers saying that the woman is planning something in her kitchen against us and all, so we should bind the juju. So my mum makes us do all those prayers, that God should destroy all these people with my dad's family members, but they are all alive, living their lives. To her, my father is not himself, he is just the effect of a manipulation from his family members and any good thing that my dad brings to the house(like new car or promotion etc) is as a result of her prayers, cos my father is not himself.

And I am tired, I am really tired, this is not my life, this is not the life I bargained for.This has been on ever since I had consciousness, about 20 years now and yet the same story. My biggest problem which I see is that the more you pray, and yet nothing happens, convinces her that much more prayer is needed and the people are really evil, so more prayer, and hence more prayer for really really evil people. This is going into an endless pointm like a closed curve where you think you ve gotten to the end, but you are still on the same path, but with stronger conviction that you are dealind with something really deadly.

This is where my dad comes to the whole scenario. We are foundationally Catholics, but when I was young my dad, who is catholic before anything else, missed mass on sundays cos of work so was never really spiritual. My dad and mum are complete opposistes in this religion thing. He is not atheist, but he tends to dwell on scientific and logical paths before anything else. Let me say, he is just a simple christian and yess, he has very strong moral nd ethical values. He has never even prayed with us(family prayer). So with my parents being opposite, I guess that's why I wasnt fully indoctrinated doubtlessly into any path, as my mum was a fake catholic then who just went cos of marriage and for sunday ceremony and even held the chapel(spiritual visions church) in higher regard. So it took me a while(2013)to define and decide my stand, where I feel comfortable, and my conscience was at peace. I was one atheist, tho for a short period, but now, I consider myself catholic, tho not a strong one, cos I am not a full believer in all of catholic doctrines. I just can't be part of the Nigerian Pentecostal movement.

Since I have known my parents, they have always quarreled, which I know to be common in many marriages. So I don't know what happened first; whether its the visions given to her that came before the arguments started or the arguments led her to go deep in those vision thing and fully dwelling and basing life on it. My dad has made it very clear that he doesnt want to hear all these visions, he doesn't want to hear that you had a dream at night, infact he lost his mind one day, flared up, high bp took in and was hospitalized cos of this before. But to my mum, its still manipulation on him from the village.

So, my mum has been disturbing my life ever since. I have said that I don't want to be part of all these spiritual stories. It was only bringing complications. This life is too short to be spending it with complications which, at the end of the day, even the devoted mfm memebers go through the same life challenges and misfortunes as an atheist. Unless we want to decieve ourselves, even if Nigerians pray and fast from now to the end of the year, misfortunes or rather challenges will still come, and good things will also come. Luck will always favour some, while some will have to grind much harder for what they want, whether religious or atheist. Change will not come from prayers alone. My mum is part of the people that attributed GEJ's tenure to spiritual issues, that all Nigerians need to come together to pray for GEJ. I have never seen when americans needed a change and rather than fighting for it, decided to pray. It doesnt make any sense. My mum has gotten to the extent of coming to wake me every night to pray, that she saw something in the spirit, that she saw vision, that the house is being spiritually attacked.

The only way I can really explain this is like to be forcing a christian to be moslem, making it a do or die affair, like a life ambition. It cannot happen. Everyday, no peace. I have said I will just pretend for the sake of peace, she doesnt even want me to rest even when I pretend. I will be starting service soon, but what about before then and when next we see.When we pray in the morning, its always drama, because my mum says I must bind different kinds of spirits in my life, that I am praying petty prayer not meant for us. The only passage in the bible she knows is "Since the days of John, the kingdom of God suffered violence and the violent take it by force", and the psalms for war prayer.. We dont talk about the new testament or Gospels. Even when I try to be on my own, my mum wakes me up at night to pray mfm fire prayer, with all the annoying spiritual talks during the day. The other day, she said I should carry my certificate to mfm to pray. I cant do that.. Its not my life. I dont even understand the mindset people use in doing all that, but, I can never confront someone on his choice of beliefs. I believe its personal and as far as you find peace in it, and you are not constituiting nuisance, thats what matters.

I really appreciate my mum, with what she has sacrificed for me. But the fanaticism is really irksome. She has made it unequivocally clear that she wont stop till she sees me grrounded in battleground prayers. Anytime, we are together, she can just flare up and start telling me about all the evil people our family is contending with. Infact it was so bad that we reall had a tough time when the son of my dad' sister, young in his early 20's, came to stay with us after his school, so as to kickstart his career and setup himself. It was war everyday, he was seen as devil sent. This guy was earning 30k/month when he first came, and was trying to be self sufficient to a good extent...Yet my mum said that he was their route to monitor us. Nothing he did was considered good and my mum was forcing me to comply with it. It got so bad that he initially use to buy little stuff like bread and groundnut, when he saw that we were throwing it away, he stopped. My mum accused him of not showing warm regards by buying little things(which she will still throw away). That he is very evil and all. I was really wondering how someone who has a life ahead of him will be having time for all those rubbish. She made sure he didnt have peace till he left. It was so bad that she will be praying midnight, the go to his door and be raining curses on him and his family. Whenever she told me to pray and I didnt curse him also, we always quarreled. I am really tired.

My dad traveled recently, so she sent one of the visioners from the church to come talk to me. I felt stupid. And I have made it clear that I don't want any of those rubbish. I found peace in my choice of religious life in 2013 and made a decision to do away with all these spiritual stories, yet my mum never stops saying that "I will pray to go to the village to possess my possession and inheritance"

Please, is someone also going through this, please advice a brother. I am getting sick of all these.

Don't be offended bro but this is a case of mental health issues. She's only masking it with religion/visions. She's suffering from anxiety and it's good you don't want to get involved nor does your dad.

For your mum:
1. She may need to see a mental health specialist although I am not sure how many professionals we have left in Nigeria.
2. She needs to understand true christianity. The christian faith is nothing like what mfm and the rest of demon catchers preach and do. It is simply putting your trust in the Lord Jesus whatever life has to offer. Infact all christians will face persecution of various kinds. like you righlt said all humans will face dissapointment and loss in their lifetime. If only there is someone she trust that can disciple her.
3. If you can organise a family holiday to take her away from that environment. It may relax her abit

For you:

1. Understand that your mum is having mental health issues and stop being frustrated but understanding.
2. If you try to be logical with her you will get worked up for nothing.
3. Pray for her to come to true understanding of the christian faith
4. There are alot of diviners around who can see the future but they are not of God. God doesn't want us(christians) to worry about our future but rather to trust him for our future. Consulting a diviner in a shrine or a diviner in a "church" is thesame act. Little wonder many pastors today are not different from witch-doctors.
5. Enjoy your life

1 Like

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by Emyben(m): 7:07pm On Apr 12, 2016
asalimpo:

As if i knew! You are an effing sun worshipper.
And your thrashing was because the truth had hit a nerve...
prayed to your patron saint today ?

Look at this deluded fellow. Where did you dump your thrash? Read ya posts and see how foolish and hateful u'v sounded all these while. Keep up with your speeches. It only makes you look funny and deluded. Am listening. Go on
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by gemale(m): 8:52pm On Apr 12, 2016
asalimpo:

which one be church mind- that term always intrigues me. abeg explain.
Na as e dey 4 ur mind u go talk am; no sugarcoating or editing. Ur own version of d truth. Tell am say u wan dey attend ur papa church & u no dey comfortable wt her version of xtianity. She fit continue 2 dey do her thing bt u no wan follow am dey do again make she no dey force u afterall religion no b by force. If d Spirit permit, u fit dey join am 4 prayer 1ce a while bt 1ce e reach d 1 u no lyk, comot. She ga hala gan bt ultimately she go accept.
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by simplex2: 9:03pm On Apr 12, 2016
I almost wept for your family after reading your story, you guys are in real bondage: and guess what, it's your dad I pitty the most.
Can't imagine having to deal with such a wife, I swear I will either divorce you or move out permanently from the house. Life is to short to useless it on bitterness, angst, malice, anger and paranoia.

May I never marry such a wife, or better still, may my wife never turn out like this after marriage.

Gosh! So annoying!

The day my mum embarrassed my female visitor, I moved downstairs to our boysquaters. I was waiting for my Nysc then, doing a small job that brings in 20k monthly, but with determination, I erected a small bathroom and toilet close to the boysquaters we used as packing store and lived there. She started off threatening me, but when she saw the resolve in me, she took to subtle pleas and emotional blackmail.
I .maintained a cordial relationship with her but remained in my new room till I finally went for Nysc and thereafter, never lived with her again.

The next person I pitty is your future wife
Heck, she's going to make that innocent girl's life miserable.

1 Like

Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by asalimpo(m): 10:22pm On Apr 12, 2016
gemale:

Na as e dey 4 ur mind u go talk am; no sugarcoating or editing. Ur own version of d truth. Tell am say u wan dey attend ur papa church & u no dey comfortable wt her version of xtianity. She fit continue 2 dey do her thing bt u no wan follow am dey do again make she no dey force u afterall religion no b by force. If d Spirit permit, u fit dey join am 4 prayer 1ce a while bt 1ce e reach d 1 u no lyk, comot. She ga hala gan bt ultimately she go accept.
thanks for the explanation. I get it now.
It means being candid .
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by segunojo866: 11:03pm On Sep 13
mctowel01:

My mother is not a witch and i dont believe the people she calls evil are into witchcraft. I try to make her understand, but like i said, she has made it clear that she won't stop till she dies. Like its a life purpose.
I hope your mom is now normal
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mctowel01: 12:57pm On Sep 14
segunojo866:
I hope your mom is now normal
Yeah.. we re all good bro. Thanks for asking
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by segunojo866: 1:23pm On Sep 14
mctowel01:

Yeah.. we re all good bro. Thanks for asking
yeah. Are you an atheist
Re: Religion Is Causing Tension Between Me And My Mum! Please Advice Me by mctowel01: 8:58pm On Sep 14
segunojo866:
yeah. Are you an atheist
No... never.. No way

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