This post is a bit long. Please bear with me.



Oh yes...there are many advocates of no sex before marriage and the marriage bed undefiled. A relationship free from all forms of sinful lifestyle that will hinder your spiritual growth.

These words of caution have been the watchwords of so many believers here on nairaland and in my vicinity. We are quick to dish out this advice to singles about godliness, say things like avoid kissing, dont visit him alone, if you are with him open all doors and windows, dont hug him or her, avoid close contact etc.

Na wa ooooo
but will these help?

despite all these i have not seen or heard a distinct and effective solution to this issue of no sex before marriage.


What happens when he or she is alone in the room and the feelings comes real strong? I guess you will tell me to rebuke the spirit abi?

Oluwa eseun ooo

I was with a sister yesterday after sometime she started praying. Later she told me the urge for sex came and she had to rebuke it.
Osanobua!

I told her if my presence always causd her to fall then she should let me know so that i wont lead her into temptation. She declined it. I was told of a guy who was having sexual urge, his peniiis was erecting and instantly he spoke to it (peniiis) that calm down its not yet time and it relaxed!
Chaiiiiiii
for real?


there was a case of an intending couple who according to church doctrine must not defile their marriage bed. They agreed to it but the lady was sleeping with their next door neighbour, relieving herself while deceiving her man and pretending she was abstaining until she was caught one day.

No textbook solution please. A practical or real life solution is what we need here.

Pastors, pastress, prophets, teachers of the word, evangelist, catechist, reverends of this great religion i need your inputs on this matter. Honestly its a very serious one.

How do handle sexual urge in a godly relationship.


Please those with experince should contribute. People will learn from this.

So long as you're a Christian, you're obliged to obey God's law and one of them is no sex before marriage. If you're feeling Hot, read the Bible and sing praises to God instead. If really you can't resist the urge, go outside and talk to friends. Overall, getting married with save you the stress

reading this post reminds me how mentally backward some of these religions and their interpretations are.

to answer your question,no, there is no practical one fix to prevent sex before marriage.but if you insist then the logical thing to do would be to erm..get married.
just sign the shxt, it dosnt necessary hv to be a big wedding,u cn still do that later.

Elijahrona2:
So long as you're a Christian, you're obliged to obey God's law and one of them is no sex before marriage. If you're feeling Hot, read the Bible and sing praises to God instead. If really you can't resist the urge, go outside and talk to friends. Overall, getting married with save you the stress

Wow. But it's not easy you know.

My grace is sufficient for thee... and my strength manifest in your weaknesses...

For God is not unrighteous to give us temptation beyond our power.


but we try to use human strength to overcome temptation..
.
but by strength shall No Man prevail....


faithful is he that calleth you... who also will do it

Paul never had sex in life but kept his body under subjection .....

u can also stay chaste before marriage if...


we


grow in grace..

Why do you think God created your arms long enough to reach your genitals?


So you can masturbate.

Elijahrona2:
If you're feeling Hot, read the Bible and sing praises to God instead.

My God...

Opharhe:
Wow. But it's not easy you know.

truly its not easy

sonOfLucifer:
Why do you think God created your arms long enough to reach your genitals?


So you can masturbate.

sonoflucifer this is not your topic na.

I will need you when i have something masturbation

JustJosh20:
My grace is sufficient for thee... and my strength manifest in your weaknesses...




faithful is he that calleth you... who also will do it

how is it done?

mencade5:
sonoflucifer this is not your topic na.

I will need you when i have something masturbation

I'm always here to, ehn, lend a helping hand.

lodscott:
reading this post reminds me how mentally backward some of these religions and their interpretations are.

to answer your question,no, there is no practical one fix to prevent sex before marriage.but if you insist then the logical thing to do would be to erm..get married.
just sign the shxt, it dosnt necessary hv to be a big wedding,u cn still do that later.

lodscott marriage seem to be the way out but you know our girls na. They want a big and powerful wedding. In this economic hard time it will be a miracle for such marriage to be done.

Sexual suppression as it is being taught in the modern society/churches/mosques is harmful: they cause psychological suffering and at least some of the reasons behind the teaching have no valid reason at all.

The moral values of not having premarital sex come from times when contraception and paternity tests were not available. The only certain way of making sure that one particular man fathered a child was to make sure that the women had sex only with that one particular man. This practical consideration was twisted into abstinence being a "religious virtue": to allow easier enforcement of the required abstinence.

Why must one suppress his/her sexual urges when we are exactly like other animals(who have sex whenever they want). Suppression leads to suffering. Any christian brother or sister know deeply in their heart how much they suffer and often get depressed due to abstinence. Why can't their god kill the sexual urge?

Linking sex with guilt, portraying it as dirty creates a huge conflict in one's mind when having to consider oneself guilty, dirty and despicable for experiencing a natural impulse.

Teaching that sexuality is natural and ok is harmful to certain ancient doctrines that would like to keep their hold on society. Teaching that sex should be suppressed harms actual people is immoral and lacks sufficient reasons.

Sex is beautiful and one shouldn't be in a psychological shackles for having it.

Be responsible when having sex(condoms)

sonOfLucifer:
Why do you think God created your arms long enough to reach your genitals?


So you can masturbate.

Son of lucifer indeed

Hmmn. Difficult question buh i'll try.
More reasons y u shouldn't be alone with him/her in an enclosed place (dats if u knw both of u are too weak 2 resist).
Ur discussions should not be centered on sexualy provocative topics dat'll instigate the feeling.
Finally, u & only u can resist the urge cos only u knws why u want to wait. Hence, u should always be reminded of ur convictions each time the urge arises. Thanks

ifenes:

Sexual suppression as it is being taught in the modern society/churches/mosques is harmful: they cause psychological suffering and at least some of the reasons behind the teaching have no valid reason at all.

The moral values of not having premarital sex come from times when contraception and paternity tests were not available. The only certain way of making sure that one particular man fathered a child was to make sure that the women had sex only with that one particular man. This practical consideration was twisted into abstinence being a "religious virtue": to allow easier enforcement of the required abstinence.

Why must one suppress his/her sexual urges when we are exactly like other animals(who have sex whenever they want). Suppression leads to suffering. Any christian brother or sister know deeply in their heart how much they suffer and often get depressed due to abstinence. Why can't their god kill the sexual urge?

Linking sex with guilt, portraying it as dirty creates a huge conflict in one's mind when having to consider oneself guilty, dirty and despicable for experiencing a natural impulse.

Teaching that sexuality is natural and ok is harmful to certain ancient doctrines that would like to keep their hold on society. Teaching that sex should be suppressed harms actual people,and this is immoral and lacks sufficient reasons.

Sex is beautiful and one shouldn't be in a psychological shackles for having it.

Be responsible when having sex(condoms)

nice input bro. I was im a relationship 3 years ago with a lady. We did all nor,al people do. Including sex. But one day she came to me and said she dont want us to continue doing this. That we must stop for our own good. I was dumbfounded. I later discovered that it was a church pastor of hers that told her her spiritual life has gone down that she needed to stop fornication. After 2 months i couldnt cope and i had to quit. But its a different story now. I don repent

JustJosh20:
My grace is sufficient for thee... and my strength manifest in your weaknesses...

For God is not unrighteous to give us temptation beyond our power.


but we try to use human strength to overcome temptation..
.
but by strength shall No Man prevail....


faithful is he that calleth you... who also will do it

Paul never had sex in life but kept his body under subjection .....

u can also stay chaste before marriage if...


we


grow in grace..

its true wa cant do it with human strength. But practically i need to understand how paul did it by grace. What and what did he do to stay that way? Did he pray or what?

To be Nigerian na real suffer. To be Nigerian Christian, na double wahala. People dey fly shuttle go moon, others dey here dey discuss whether the God wey create moon, sun and earth dey watch them for room. Na only you dey Bleep? What makes you think your fornication is special in God's eyes?

Kai. Comedy.

mencade5:
This post is a bit long. Please bear with me.



Oh yes...there are many advocates of no sex before marriage and the marriage bed undefiled. A relationship free from all forms of sinful lifestyle that will hinder your spiritual growth.

These words of caution have been the watchwords of so many believers here on nairaland and in my vicinity. We are quick to dish out this advice to singles about godliness, say things like avoid kissing, dont visit him alone, if you are with him open all doors and windows, dont hug him or her, avoid close contact etc.

Na wa ooooo
but will these help?

despite all these i have not seen or heard a distinct and effective solution to this issue of no sex before marriage.


What happens when he or she is alone in the room and the feelings comes real strong? I guess you will tell me to rebuke the spirit abi?

Oluwa eseun ooo

I was with a sister yesterday after sometime she started praying. Later she told me the urge for sex came and she had to rebuke it.
Osanobua!

I told her if my presence always causd her to fall then she should let me know so that i wont lead her into temptation. She declined it. I was told of a guy who was having sexual urge, his peniiis was erecting and instantly he spoke to it (peniiis) that calm down its not yet time and it relaxed!
Chaiiiiiii
for real?


there was a case of an intending couple who according to church doctrine must not defile their marriage bed. They agreed to it but the lady was sleeping with their next door neighbour, relieving herself while deceiving her man and pretending she was abstaining until she was caught one day.

No textbook solution please. A practical or real life solution is what we need here.

Pastors, pastress, prophets, teachers of the word, evangelist, catechist, reverends of this great religion i need your inputs on this matter. Honestly its a very serious one.

How do handle sexual urge in a godly relationship.


Please those with experince should contribute. People will learn from this.

Sex is a good thing created by God. If you and her being alone would cause arousal and urges, Brother Prayer point won't help. Have been there. You'd be tempting yourself and using prayer point as excuse. You're red blooded, if you can't handle the Smoke then leave the kitchen... Stop staying together in a lonely place especially during night hours, if she would visit or you would visit, try to leave the door open and don't lock it and also avoid the bed when comfort comes in, then You'd surely feel it.

And above all, uhmmm this things won't be easy but then both of you need to agree on it.

Godsgal:
Hmmn. Difficult question buh i'll try.
More reasons y u shouldn't be alone with him/her in an enclosed place (dats if u knw both of u are too weak 2 resist).
Ur discussions should not be centered on sexualy provocative topics dat'll instigate the feeling.
Finally, u & only u can resist the urge cos only u knws why u want to wait. Hence, u should always be reminded of ur convictions each time the urge arises. Thanks

did u at some point wait? The reminder of our conviction is a good points. What if the man is strong and the woman is weak in terms of controlling their urge will u still advice them not to be in the same room?

mencade5:
its true wa cant do it with human strength. But practically i need to understand how paul did it by grace. What and what did he do to stay that way? Did he pray or what?

He was in prison most of the time. He masturbated. No prayer point fit commit conji for body. If God wanted you to have sex after marriage, you won't have an erection until you say 'I do'. Sexual desires are normal in every living being, they are not and should not be treated as evil.

Wetin concern me.. Rely on advice from men who lived and died over 2000 years ago.. Before internet, porn and mini skirts
Na una sabi.. Suffer and conji go kill una.. $ee 2016 discussion abeg..

mencade5:
lodscott marriage seem to be the way out but you know our girls na. They want a big and powerful wedding. In this economic hard time it will be a miracle for such marriage to be done.

then you guys should bleep,life is not hard,sometimes its either this or that,I hate when peeps be trying to be perfect in every aspect at the sametime.from what I know Christianity isn't about archieving perfection by works,you can't do everything right,if you could there Wld be no need for the blood of Christ.

my advice is follow those things you've listed above, try ur best, but if it happens it happens, nothing to get overworked up about.

mencade5:
nice input bro. I was im a relationship 3 years ago with a lady. We did all nor,al people do. Including sex. But one day she came to me and said she dont want us to continue doing this. That we must stop for our own good. I was dumbfounded. I later discovered that it was a church pastor of hers that told her her spiritual life has gone down that she needed to stop fornication. After 2 months i couldnt cope and i had to quit. But its a different story now. I don repent

It is sad to see pastors destroying sexually active couples . Religion controls people to the point it makes them feel guilty for having sex. A Pastors is a politicians behind a mask. His aim is to control and dominate his members. Their is no better trick than creating guilt.

sonOfLucifer:
To be Nigerian na real suffer. To be Nigerian Christian, na double wahala. People dey fly shuttle go moon, others dey here dey discuss whether the God wey create moon, sun and earth dey watch them for room. Na only you dey Bleep? What makes you think your fornication is special in God's eyes?

Kai. Comedy.

lucifer hell needs ur attention now. Come back later.

mencade5:
lucifer hell needs ur attention now. Come back later.

Public forum bro. not Sunday School.

sonOfLucifer:

He was in prison most of the time. He masturbated. No prayer point fit commit conji for body. If God wanted you to have sex after marriage, you won't have an erection until you say 'I do'. Sexual desires are normal in every living being, they are not and should not be treated as evil.

Wetin concern me.. Rely on advice from men who lived and died over 2000 years ago.. Before internet, porn and mini skirts
Na una sabi.. Suffer and conji go kill una.. $ee 2016 discussion abeg..

e don do na lucifer. U dey pursue people with ur name oo

ifenes:


It is sad to see pastors destroying sexually active couples . Religion controls people to the point it makes them feel guilty for having sex. A Pastors is a politicians behind a mask. His aim is to control and dominate his members. Their is no better trick than creating guilt.

what she told me then was that she had a calling to work for God and that she is growing weak by sinning and fornicating and that she needed to make her way straight before God.
I was angry when i discovered who told her to avoid those things we use to enjoy. Wanted to go fight the pastor but i said let me watch. I asked her is that what you want she said yes. I said ok. Lets continue. But my body couldnt take it anymore. I had to leave her later sha.

If peeps her saying its by grace. Why are some so called pastors not adhering to this? A, a christian before people start criticising me.

A brother wedded a sister in my church. They were the strong spiritual type. But 6 months after their wedding the ladu gave birth. It was discovered she was pregnant before the wedding sef.

sonOfLucifer:

He was in prison most of the time. He masturbated. No prayer point fit commit conji for body. If God wanted you to have sex after marriage, you won't have an erection until you say 'I do'. Sexual desires are normal in every living being, they are not and should not be treated as evil.

Wetin concern me.. Rely on advice from men who lived and died over 2000 years ago.. Before internet, porn and mini skirts
Na una sabi.. Suffer and conji go kill una.. $ee 2016 discussion abeg..

gerooooout

mencade5:
gerooooout

Bye.

mencade5:
its true wa cant do it with human strength. But practically i need to understand how paul did it by grace. What and what did he do to stay that way? Did he pray or what?

Paul could do it because, he knows that God created the human spirit to control the human body.
That the spirit could dictate to the body but when one is in sin, the body (which is unsaved) rules the spirit.
i.e rides it like a donkey.
This is very perverse and degrading in God's sight.
Imagine how you'd feel if you heard that the ceo of a company was taking orders from the gateman?
It would sound perverse right?! - But if the ceo doesnt know, he is a ceo, he'll be afraid and terrorised by the mei gaurd.
That's what the flesh (your physical body) wants to do to your spirit(the ceo). And satan works through the flesh.
It is shameful in God's eyes and a disgusting and shameless demotion.
But He's not going to come in and thrash the gateman, He wants you to do it.
Begin to put the gateman in his place. Tell him no, tell him shut up and keep quiet.
You can go a lifetime without se.x, it's not food or water than you CAN'T do without.
Many people just buy into the lie that's it's impossible. But that's all there is to it- A LIE.

As a king, prince, royalty,if you are born again, ( it is degrading to let slaves (the body ruleyou). Very degrading ).
But we will all get there. Little by little.
The church is hypocritical, people have lived all their lives, being ruled by their slaves, so they are struggling to assert their authority on the issue. It will take time. But with determination it can be done.

- There's no shortcut to it - YOU ,yes YOU, control your body.
After a time it becomes easy.
think of mr. universes, they've gone so far in body building that their struggle is not on how to motivate themselves to go to the gym!!
I believe a man can so train himself, that even if a nu.de woman comes into the room, her nak-edness will not rouse him.

mencade5:
its true wa cant do it with human strength. But practically i need to understand how paul did it by grace. What and what did he do to stay that way? Did he pray or what?

Read the book of colossians. and romans daily... study the life and ministry of Paul...

just make him your mentor...
.but don't depend on your strength...
avoid all sources of temptation....

mencade5:
what she told me then was that she had a calling to work for God and that she is growing weak by sinning and fornicating and that she needed to make her way straight before God.
I was angry when i discovered who told her to avoid those things we use to enjoy. Wanted to go fight the pastor but i said let me watch. I asked her is that what you want she said yes. I said ok. Lets continue. But my body couldnt take it anymore. I had to leave her later sha.

If peeps her saying its by grace. Why are some so called pastors not adhering to this? A, a christian before people start criticising me.


A brother wedded a sister in my church. They were the strong spiritual type. But 6 months after their wedding the ladu gave birth. It was discovered she was pregnant before the wedding sef.

Sorry to say that christianity is the den of hypocrites.
A man had kidney failure and was warned by the doctors to abstain from sx, His condition got worse and he was crying for help. One of the things of note i read was that he had been without sx for over 2 years!

In this world, people are fvcking like there is no tomorrow. Which makes me wonder why girls get angry when a man approaches them - fvckers.

One thing though, if you are a true christian and you fvck around, your conscience will prick you.
You can go ahead and kill it. Also, if you abstain , you'll feel 'clean' . This is the dilemma.
You'll enjoy the beauty of purity and disdain the filth of sin but you'll also feel the pressure to sin.