No doubt our parents love us. But sometimes they tend to push hard, and make unrealistic demands on their young ones.
It is even worse here in Nigeria, where sometimes parents see successful children as meal tickets.
Ever been in that situation, where you really wanted to do your postgrad, but due to family demands you just had to hang on to that bank job?
Let;s have some views.

No matter how hard the pressure is, always remember that doing drugs isnt the best of options.

i think a bit a pressure is good for you, Personally

My Dad has always been a person all excelling in everything you do and besing the BEST,

and he made sure he reminded me I was the eldest and had alot to show for my younger ones,

but at the end of the day i think that pressure has assisted in who i am today,

However, some Nigerian parents dont know where to draw the line, and the end result can b catastrophic at times


My dad pushed me into the direction he wanted to see me in and I basically continued in that pathway,

If your parents dont put pressure on you to do your best, you will derail!!
Pressure only makes you a tougher person,

Its LIFE,

these people really want to help us, they don't want to watch us make the same mistakes they have made in their lives. Sometime the pressure is good, and sometime
it's destructive. Above all, either they are being too harsh at us, or flexible, let's
remember it is for our good

Kids, when your parents are putting pressure on you, run away. . .but make sure you run to a responsible uncle or aunt who would negotiate a less stressful comeback for you. Then you'd live with your parents happily ever after.

Lady Dee:

i think a bit a pressure is good for you, Personally

My Dad has always been a person all excelling in everything you do and besing the BEST,

and he made sure he reminded me I was the eldest and had alot to show for my younger ones,

but at the end of the day i think that pressure has assisted in who i am today,

However, some Nigerian parents dont know where to draw the line, and the end result can b catastrophic at times


My dad pushed me into the direction he wanted to see me in and I basically continued in that pathway,

If your parents dont put pressure on you to do your best, you will derail!!
Pressure only makes you a tougher person,

Its LIFE,

My thoughts and experience exactly. For me it turned out ok. I'm better than i would have been if i had followed my own path.

ha!

forget it!

We still no understand each other till now,

Dont tell your parents how much money you make, biggest mistake i made

My parents pushed me to become who I am , but sometimes the expectations can be heavy to bear. i just grin and bear it thinking about all they have done for me in the past. I see it has my tithe to my parents , paying it is not easy, but it is better to be in a position to pay it.

Not only Nigerians, every parent handles parental pressure.

Both good and bad parents put pressure on their kids, the Youth must understand that it is necessary for our parents to do this, they do this out of love and not of hatred, as they say THE TRUTH IS BITTER. So we must understand that for our lives to become better our parents have to put some degree of pressure on us, although i agree that some parents go to the extreeme, and this can be so dangerous, as it as led so many out of the way more, but on the other hand positive pressure is needed to guide us to our destination

So for youngsters take it easy and know that your folks love, thats why they are doing what they are doing.




FOR THE NIGERIAN YOUTH http://nigerian-youth..com

My thoughts and experience exactly. For me it turned out ok. I'm better than i would have been if i had followed my own path.

and how do you know your path wouldn't have been a better choice.

parents are meant to guide and not choose a path for their kids.

pressure or not from parents. family is family.
remenber there assisted you to where you
are today and you must respond nomatter what.

@poster, i understand you saying something about
parental demands not allowing you to go further.
all you need do is sit thenm down and talk, if they
undrsatnd enof blive me they will give you the space.

breadwinner or nor, you must all support to our people
ask yourself: how much do you spend on girls? when you
have the answer save half of that money for three months
and send it to your folks anywhere in the world.cheers!

bawomolo:

and how do you know your path wouldn't have been a better choice.

parents are meant to guide and not choose a path for their kids.

Yes, parents are there to guide there children, but when your yakking on about ' I want to be a cleaner when i grow up!'
or 'I want to be an artist!'  

That one pass guidance, you give them a push and encouragment in the right direction,

My Dad is very attentive and watchful of his 3 daughters and he knows what we are good at in terms of academics, talents,etc,
so when it came to secondary school he pushed us into the areas he knew we were very good at, like the sciences, he knew i was good at that and I took a great interest in it, Hence, my profession today as a Pharmacologist.

I owe alot of what I am to my Dad perseverence and those so called 'pressures',  

What I 'thought' i knew and wanted  then, my Dad could see alot more potentials in me and guided me into it,

It was not BY FORCE as i know some Nigerian parents will do, because he knows the consequences could be dire,

So my dads 'pressures and advice' was Definetly the better choice,

Lady Dee:

Yes, parents are there to guide there children, but when your yakking on about ' I want to be a cleaner when i grow up!'
or 'I want to be an artist!'  

That one pass guidance, you give them a push and encouragment in the right direction,

My Dad is very attentive and watchful of his 3 daughters and he knows what we are good at in terms of academics, talents,etc,
so when it came to secondary school he pushed us into the areas he knew we were very good at, like the sciences, he knew i was good at that and I took a great interest in it, Hence, my profession today as a Pharmacologist.

I owe alot of what I am to my Dad perseverence and those so called 'pressures',  

What I 'thought' i knew and wanted  then, my Dad could see alot more potentials in me and guided me into it,

It was not BY FORCE as i know some Nigerian parents will do, because he knows the consequences could be dire,

So my dads 'pressures and advice' was Definetly the better choice,

Lady Dee you keep taking the words out of my mouth. We must have the same dad

@ bawomolo, my parents guided and did not choose my path.

I dont think the parents sees u as a meal ticket, however, i think most of the parents have forgo their own goals and future to raise the kid to be the best, and after doing all that, only fair for the kid to bless the parents.
Although, some parents could be too demanding, but let us realize that they have done the best they could and it is our turn to take care of them.
IF you dont have, tell them u dont, and if you do, give and leave the rest

Lady Dee:

or 'I want to be an artist!'  

And what's wrong with being an artist?

Purist:

And what's wrong with being an artist?

In Nigeria artist dont make money, that is what the parents thought, but we have to educate them.

Ejadamen:

Lady Dee you keep taking the words out of my mouth. We must have the same dad

@ bawomolo, my parents guided and did not choose my path.

@Ejadamen: Who knows Ooo! Lol!!

Purist:

And what's wrong with being an artist?

If u fit be artist, follow that path na!! We'll see if you go chop even HALF a square meal a day, not to talk of 1!

Lady Dee:

Yes, parents are there to guide there children, but when your yakking on about ' I want to be a cleaner when i grow up!'
or 'I want to be an artist!'  

That one pass guidance, you give them a push and encouragment in the right direction,

My Dad is very attentive and watchful of his 3 daughters and he knows what we are good at in terms of academics, talents,etc,
so when it came to secondary school he pushed us into the areas he knew we were very good at, like the sciences, he knew i was good at that and I took a great interest in it, Hence, my profession today as a Pharmacologist.

I owe alot of what I am to my Dad perseverence and those so called 'pressures',  

What I 'thought' i knew and wanted  then, my Dad could see alot more potentials in me and guided me into it,

It was not BY FORCE as i know some Nigerian parents will do, because he knows the consequences could be dire,

So my dads 'pressures and advice' was Definetly the better choice,

what's wrong with being an artist or a cleaner.

what if i end up owning my janitorial business that services the city

I don't get these whole Nigerian mentality that the sciences is good but the arts is bad. Wole soyinka could be a nobody today if he decided to become a doctor.

advice is good but pressuring kids into a path isn't good. There's no way to say you wouldn't be similarly successful in the path you originally preferred.

wow am happy 4 u guys bringing dis topic on nairaland
my mum almost talked my head off day before yesterday, and u guys know wat she puts d blame on me for watever offence my siblins commit.sometimes i wish i wasn't born dat day i almost killed myself if not 4 God i would have bought shavin powder and drank it but i rember my father how he showed love and care 4 us b4 travellin to fetch for wat we will eat .
cos i knw if i shld commit suicide he will never recover from d shock cos am his most loved 1.
no mata d pressure just hold on to God, he will sure help u

i don't have as much pressure from my parents as some others. what ever they tell me about my future, they let me know they're just suggestions that i don't have to follow. and whatever pressure i feel is a result of my own guilt if i don't listen to them.

in general though i don't think parents should place too high expectations on their kids. and i especially hate it when parents compare their kids to their friend's children. that's very messed up

or to their brothers and sisters kids.

that's just annoying.

lol. yea that sucks n can breed contempt among the cousins. n the parents won't realize it was all their fault.

Well, to tell you the hard truth- sometimes our parents tend to be overbearing in the name of authority; don't get me wrong, they love us and want the best for us, but meaning well is not doing well

They also see us as "assurance for old age", like we owe them. But then they'd be raising up debtors and not heirs.

Anyway, as the Bible says, "Honour your father and your mother".

AjanleKoko:

No doubt our parents love us. But sometimes they tend to push hard, and make unrealistic demands on their young ones.
It is even worse here in Nigeria, where sometimes parents see successful children as meal tickets.
Ever been in that situation, where you really wanted to do your postgrad, but due to family demands you just had to hang on to that bank job?
Let;s have some views.

well, just like every other thing in live, u always look at the positive side and do ur best to explain ur position

Yes, my parents pressure me when it comes to academics and things in general.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a lawyer - I probably still do 'cause I argue more than is healthy for me

For some reason, my mother doesn't like Lawyers. It's a dangerous profession, according to her

Now I'm settling for medicine , not a problem though. Just don't wanna be in college for 10 yrs. sheesh!!

I dont see anything wrong in a child wanting to be a cleaner or an artist. Its about passion , skills and raw talent! The key to success is doing the common things uncommonly well! And as far as I am concerned this is the what should be inbibed in kids from a young age, and not what meal their chosen profession can bring to them. Success will come from HARDWORK!

Parents who feel the need for their kids to 'pay them back' are just wrong. The kid didnt ask to be born, its your duty and responsibility to provide for them and train them, they shouldnt feel indebted to you , cause of the amounts of money you spent on educating them. IF you raised them properly and inbibed the right attitudes in them, they will definitely know what it is to show love to their parents when they become someone great in the society. They dont need to be forced or coaxed into showing their parents love for giving them LIFE and a good CHANCE in life.

I am very glad that I had VERY liberal parents growing up. For Nigerian parents, they were completely out of this world! My father would pay for any child who wanted to become a dancer, and help you find the best school for dancers! My father is a Civil Engineer and NONE of his 7 kids, did Engineering not to mention going anywhere near the Sciences.

chiogo:

Yes, my parents pressure me when it comes to academics and things in general.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a lawyer - I probably still do 'cause I argue more than is healthy for me

For some reason, my mother doesn't like Lawyers. It's a dangerous profession, according to her

Now I'm settling for medicine , not a problem though. Just don't wanna be in college for 10 yrs. sheesh!!

You really should choose the course the profession that you really want to practise, and not just one that would make your mum happy!

chiogo:

Yes, my parents pressure me when it comes to academics and things in general.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a lawyer - I probably still do 'cause I argue more than is healthy for me 

For some reason, my mother doesn't like Lawyers. It's a dangerous profession, according to her 

Now I'm settling for medicine , not a problem though. Just don't wanna be in college for 10 yrs. sheesh!!

If you think because you can argue you'd make a good lawyer then I'd say thats wishful thinking. Also if you are choosing medicine because your mum hates law then that could be a big error on your path.
These are courses that should be chosen based on passion, passion that would reflect from your adolescent years like studying the human physiology and watching medical drama and law drama for medicine and law respectively. Once you are sure of what you want to become then the duration of the course would mean little to you.
Choosing a career based on talent sucks and this where parents come in to highlight the things you are good at, giving you the pros and cons of each and watching you make your decision. Not making one for you.

Choosing a career based on talent sucks

muzbo what do u mean by this? i'm interpreting it to mean "do what u love best not necessarily what you're better at"
what if u love something but ur not good at it and vice versa?

Yes, I've been in a situation where I was EXPECTED to become something, and I went for it.
However, the thing is, you've gotta know who your folks are.
They don't want you to become specialized in a specific major, just that they want you to become successful and better than them.
If you think it's not what you want, change it and make them understand. And they will.

To Young People: Don't let your parents live their dreams through you


_{So na Ajenlakoko make this thread? Na correct man}

MUZBO:

If you think because you can argue you'd make a good lawyer then I'd say thats wishful thinking. Also if you are choosing medicine because your mum hates law then that could be a big error on your path.
These are courses that should be chosen based on passion, passion that would reflect from your adolescent years like studying the human physiology and watching medical drama and law drama for medicine and law respectively. Once you are sure of what you want to become then the duration of the course would mean little to you.
Choosing a career based on talent sucks and this where parents come in to highlight the things you are good at, giving you the pros and cons of each and watching you make your decision. Not making one for you.

You are confused.did she say shes forced or talked into going for Medicine?