Mama, myself and 100naira 'Scorch -Egg'


I hadn't eaten enough since yesterday. I was very hungry, and helplessly penniless.

I sighted the brown contours of Mama's
Tasty 'Scorch egg' which was technically ,1/4 piece of boiled egg coated in deeply fried dough . It was fat and round, giving out a belly-satisfying impression and yet smelling savory enough that my mouth watered cheaply.

It would cost me 100naira to have two of those.
I hadn't a penny.

My brain thought up a plan, and spontaneously I approached mama that early morning aiming to execute the plan.

Mama , A tall strongly built dark woman probably in her late 60's responded
"Good maw reen " in slow, almost rhythmical calculation. As i offered her one amiable "mama good morning"

Encouraged by her polite demeanor , I asked.
"Mama , if I buy 50naira scorch egg , shey you go get change for 1000naira?"
Her facial expression retreated into a mildly regretful frown.
"Ahh, my pikin , I no get that kind change ooo, now na early morning I never sell anything"

My plan was working. I put in the next drip.
Wearing a truly convincing apologetic look on "chai , mama ,and I dey like to dey eat your scorch egg anytime I come o" which was true.

I continued ," anyhow sha, no be because of change I no go buy from you today, oya put the 50naira own for me later I go bring the money when I don make change." I met mama's eye's staring at my face in typical recognition-type brain-scan facial expression.

I immediately came to her rescue.

"Ah , mama you suppose know me na, I be your customer wey dey always buy scorch egg anytime I dey pass this road now, my working place dey there."
I pointed to the business center I worked which was indeed close by.

She looked towards the direction I was showing her and towards me again, and as if it dawned on her, she proceeded to sell.

As she put the one , the greedy human nature in me decided to show itself and I made a mistake that would cost me a bite of the tasty snack that morning.

"Mama Kukuma put two scorch egg for me, make I know say na 100naira I go bring come givee you. that's round figure. "

She put in the second ball of the tasty locally made snacks just as pleasurably appetizing vapours mildly escaped from my watered mouth.
And as I gingerly proceeded to receive the package from her. She dropped the bomb.

"Oya bring the 1000naira e be like say I fit get 900 naira change"

If my facial expression at that point was captured by a good Canon Camera, it would have made a viral internet meme.
It was like I'd been hit by the most powerful breed of a thunderbolt .Then with likewise speed and utmost frustration I returned the bag concurrently.

"Mama, no worry take , make I go find change for you now now, I dey come , now na morning make i no stress you" I gasped in embarrassment as I turned away and got moving, I was too struck to look back and verify how she took my reaction.


I never got 100naira the same day to really pay for the snacks, at least if I did, I could say "mama, ehen I don see the change you fit now sell for me."

So I never took that route again.

But one day I forgot about the whole episode and found myself on the same route almost two weeks afterward, and I came face to face with mama that morning.

She gave me a casual glance , like she would any other pedestrian and she continued her frying.

I heaved a sigh of relief thanking God that mama had forgotten my face.

I walked past.

I hadn't gone too far away when I heard mama's unmistakable voice making a shout out with a jovial undertone .

"Good maw reen o, even ifuu na dawwllas($) I go fit change am for you!". She laughed Cheerily at her own Joke.

Lol funny, nice write up

very embarazing