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Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. - Romance - Nairaland

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Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 9:47am On Apr 17, 2016
I know this is not the catchiest of headings. This story may be longer than you wish too, but I desperately need help!

I had to open a separate account for this.

Late last year, on three different occasions, my ex and I tried to have sex(I wasn't a virgin, though I'd had sex only once before which was almost 3 years before then), I would have a rock-hard hard-on only for it to die off when I'm just about to penetrate. Early this year, she visited me and I was able to penetrate after several hours try.

(NOTE): my ex and I broke up since last year October. These sexual misadventures with her happened after our break-up.

The next time was a complete disaster though. She'd come to spend the night and I couldn't penetrate at all. It was humiliating, to say the least. She even reported me to my roommate who went to school to read overnight. She didn't stop there, she told me, over Whatsapp, that my _cock is big for nothing. That hurt.

I understand people suggest that I take performance-enhancing stuffs, but what about impromptu sex?

Yesterday, one of my neighbours I've been eyeing finally turned up. She, in my opinion, is the hottest among them. We were about to have sex, I was as hard as differential equation to an arts student, but when it was time to penetrate, I lost it again. It happened twice! When she realised there'd be no show from me, we went back to playing Ludo!

I know this may seem funny to y'all who can fire at will but this is getting unbearable for me. I can't stand this shiit anymore. Besides, I don't understand why I have to take drugs to do what almost everyone else seems to do effortlessly.


I thought problems like this were stuffs I'd just read about but it's happening to me. This is not me. This is not my life.

I'm very depressed and I'm beginning to harbour some very ominous thoughts. I need your help, guys. Please.

Lalasticlala, Mynd44 and any super mod, I need your help as well. Abeg.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Vinshu(f): 10:05am On Apr 17, 2016
Reduce you sugar intake and masturbate often.

Drink more of Jin products and smoke less. And eat enough protein. And try to ejaculate at least once a day everyday. Either by self servicing or just by watching porn.

Also ensure you have sex at least three times a week. Hire an escort or prostitute so you take your time. Do it for 6 - 8 weeks. Your organ will begin to adapt.

You may become an addict and would have attentions at the sight of any woman but it will solve your rooster crowing problem.

Hope I helped.

2 Likes

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by falconey(m): 10:12am On Apr 17, 2016
Vinshu:
Reduce you sugar intake and masturbate often.

Drink more of Jin products and smoke less. And eat enough protein. And try to ejaculate at least once a day everyday. Either by self servicing or just by watching porn.

Also ensure you have sex at least three times a week. Hire an escort or prostitute so you take your time. Do it for 6 - 8 weeks. Your organ will begin to adapt.

You may become an addict and would have attentions at the sight of any woman but it will solve your rooster crowing problem.

Hope I helped.

WTF is it a government work?

if this is the solution I would rather embrace the problem

8 Likes

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Vinshu(f): 10:14am On Apr 17, 2016
falconey:


WTF is it a government work?

It is! to people like the op.

1 Like

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Beesluv: 10:15am On Apr 17, 2016
Hmmmmm
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by delishpot: 10:15am On Apr 17, 2016
After reading just the heading I wanted to say.....Eat It!
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 10:17am On Apr 17, 2016
Mr OP::

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by starlightRR(m): 10:19am On Apr 17, 2016
Vinshu:
Reduce you sugar intake and masturbate often.

Drink more of Jin products and smoke less. And eat enough protein. And try to ejaculate at least once a day everyday. Either by self servicing or just by watching porn.

Also ensure you have sex at least three times a week. Hire an escort or prostitute so you take your time. Do it for 6 - 8 weeks. Your organ will begin to adapt.

You may become an addict and would have attentions at the sight of any woman but it will solve your rooster crowing problem.

Hope I helped.

Masturbate often? .....guess you are girl that's why you are saying that
To me his root problem is that he masturbates too often and needs to stop

1 Like

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Youngpo413: 10:27am On Apr 17, 2016
starlightRR:


Masturbate often? .....guess you are girl that's why you are saying that
To me his root problem is that he masturbates too often and needs to stop
TOUCHE!
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Vinshu(f): 10:28am On Apr 17, 2016
starlightRR:


Masturbate often? .....guess you are girl that's why you are saying that
To me his root problem is that he masturbates too often and needs to stop

No. Masturbation enhances it. It makes it better.

2 Likes

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by ofonike: 10:30am On Apr 17, 2016
Stop getting nervous.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by obua: 10:57am On Apr 17, 2016
Vinshu:

masturbation is a no no. Its a killer and the beginning of bigger problems
No. Masturbation enhances it. It makes it better.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by obiorathesubtle: 11:13am On Apr 17, 2016
just soak your dick inside lime juice for an hour.. You'll be fine..



Or massage it with balm every morning, to increase blood flow and you won't have any problems..


1 Like

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 11:23am On Apr 17, 2016
Hole no get problem... rod get too much wahala
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Laolu97(m): 11:34am On Apr 17, 2016
hmmm,ur caae no be smal tin oh.Try increasing ur testosterone level...i guess its low.U shud try food dat contains Vitamin D nd Zinc.U can google example of fuds dst contains dat.It will help u a lot-trust me ;Dhmmm,ur caae no be smal tin oh.Try increasing ur testosterone level...i guess its low.U shud try food dat contains Vitamin D nd Zinc.U can google example of fuds dst contains dat.It will help u a lot-trust me.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Laolu97(m): 11:35am On Apr 17, 2016
hmmm,ur case no be smal tin oh.Try increasing ur testosterone level...i guess its low.U shud try food dat contains Vitamin D nd Zinc.U can google example of fuds dat contains dat.It will help u a lot-trust me.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by wizaro(m): 1:07pm On Apr 17, 2016
O. P pls consult a doctor or specialist pls avoid self medication for now
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by layla129(f): 1:21pm On Apr 17, 2016
falconey:


WTF is it a government work?

if this is the solution I would rather embrace the problem

Thought i was the only one that found that list ridiculous... only adding bad habits to the problem on ground. Besides, i have read it severally that frequent masturbation causes this kind of problem and its been suggested here

1 Like

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by falconey(m): 1:25pm On Apr 17, 2016
layla129:


Thought i was the only one that found that list ridiculous... only adding bad habits to the problem on ground. Besides, i have read it severally that frequent masturbation causes this kind of problem and its been suggested here


I don't know if she thought she was advising a lady because that advise is a suicide mission for a guy.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 1:35pm On Apr 17, 2016
obiorathesubtle:
just soak your dick inside lime juice for an hour.. You'll be fine..



Or massage it with balm every morning, to increase blood flow and you won't have any problems..



Type something else. This time, make it "not senseless".
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 1:37pm On Apr 17, 2016
ofonike:
Stop getting nervous.

That's it! I always get nervous, no matter how I try. Do you think my body over-secretes adrenaline? I'm lost. I'm fucking depressed.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 2:00pm On Apr 17, 2016
Vinshu:
Reduce you sugar intake and masturbate often.

Drink more of Jin products and smoke less. And eat enough protein. And try to ejaculate at least once a day everyday. Either by self servicing or just by watching porn.

Also ensure you have sex at least three times a week. Hire an escort or prostitute so you take your time. Do it for 6 - 8 weeks. Your organ will begin to adapt.

You may become an addict and would have attentions at the sight of any woman but it will solve your rooster crowing problem.

Hope I helped.

You've helped tremendously. Though I doubt that it's practical for me.

I mean, cowries are not legal tender these days and money's not too keen on being faithful to me.

In short, money nor dey. I can't afford sex thrice a week; in short I can't afford a once-in-a-week TDB agreement.

I'll apply the other suggestions though.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 4:09pm On Apr 17, 2016
"big for nothing di*k got me rolling on d floor" grin grin
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Vinshu(f): 4:50pm On Apr 17, 2016
WailingWraith:


You've helped tremendously. Though I doubt that it's practical for me.

I mean, cowries are not legal tender these days and money's not too keen on being faithful to me.

In short, money nor dey. I can't afford sex thrice a week; in short I can't afford a once-in-a-week TDB agreement.

I'll apply the other suggestions though.

It doesn't have to be a thing you do thrice a week exactly. It can be twice. And it doesn't have to be with a sex worker. I suggested a sex worker so you would have all the time as according to your post, it takes time for your rooster to crow. So with a sex worker whom you have paid, she won't rush instead she would assist and stimulate things.

Or, if you have a gf or wife, she can help in that aspect.

However, the most important thing is protein and Jin. These work even without having sex everytime. Eat more of protein and reduce your sugar intake.

1 Like

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Booty4me: 4:52pm On Apr 17, 2016
WailingWraith:
I know this is not the catchiest of headings. This story may be longer than you wish too, but I desperately need help!

I had to open a separate account for this.

Late last year, on three different occasions, my ex and I tried to have sex(I wasn't a virgin, though I'd had sex only once before which was almost 3 years before then), I would have a rock-hard hard-on only for it to die off when I'm just about to penetrate. Early this year, she visited me and I was able to penetrate after several hours try.

(NOTE): my ex and I broke up since last year October. These sexual misadventures with her happened after our break-up.

The next time was a complete disaster though. She'd come to spend the night and I couldn't penetrate at all. It was humiliating, to say the least. She even reported me to my roommate who went to school to read overnight. She didn't stop there, she told me, over Whatsapp, that my _cock is big for nothing. That hurt.

I understand people suggest that I take performance-enhancing stuffs, but what about impromptu sex?

Yesterday, one of my neighbours I've been eyeing finally turned up. She, in my opinion, is the hottest among them. We were about to have sex, I was as hard as differential equation to an arts student, but when it was time to penetrate, I lost it again. It happened twice! When she realised there'd be no show from me, we went back to playing Ludo!

I know this may seem funny to y'all who can fire at will but this is getting unbearable for me. I can't stand this shiit anymore. Besides, I don't understand why I have to take drugs to do what almost everyone else seems to do effortlessly.


I thought problems like this were stuffs I'd just read about but it's happening to me. This is not me. This is not my life.

I'm very depressed and I'm beginning to harbour some very ominous thoughts. I need your help, guys. Please.

Lalasticlala, Mynd44 and any super mod, I need your help as well. Abeg.

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 5:14pm On Apr 17, 2016
Stop premarital Sex. It is sin.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 5:33pm On Apr 17, 2016
DavidGodwin:
Stop premarital Sex. It is sin.


Thank you pastor.. Please recommend a bible verse that will resurrect his D when he finally gets married

2 Likes

Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 5:41pm On Apr 17, 2016
Princewilla:



Thank you pastor.. Please recommend a bible verse that will resurrect his D when he finally gets married
When he gets married, He'll have an attention that would last.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 5:55pm On Apr 17, 2016
Vinshu:


It doesn't have to be a thing you do thrice a week exactly. It can be twice. And it doesn't have to be with a sex worker. I suggested a sex worker so you would have all the time as according to your post, it takes time for your rooster to crow. So with a sex worker whom you have paid, she won't rush instead she would assist and stimulate things.

Or, if you have a gf or wife, she can help in that aspect.

However, the most important thing is protein and Jin. These work even without having sex everytime. Eat more of protein and reduce your sugar intake.

interesting! I won't even ask how you know all these. guess you're a sexpert. wink
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by starlightRR(m): 6:05pm On Apr 17, 2016
Vinshu:


No. Masturbation enhances it. It makes it better.

Stop talking you are girl....stick to what you understand
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 8:05pm On Apr 17, 2016
Vinshu:


It doesn't have to be a thing you do thrice a week exactly. It can be twice. And it doesn't have to be with a sex worker. I suggested a sex worker so you would have all the time as according to your post, it takes time for your rooster to crow. So with a sex worker whom you have paid, she won't rush instead she would assist and stimulate things.

Or, if you have a gf or wife, she can help in that aspect.

However, the most important thing is protein and Jin. These work even without having sex everytime. Eat more of protein and reduce your sugar intake.

I see.

Thanks, dear, you've been helpful. I'll make sure I apply all you've suggested.
Re: Help! My Rooster Won't Crow. I'm Getting Desperate. by Nobody: 8:16pm On Apr 17, 2016
Princewilla:



Thank you pastor.. Please recommend a bible verse that will resurrect his D when he finally gets married

Epp me tell am o.

Lalasticlala, mynd44, I really need more inputs abeg. I need the Nairaland doctors' inputs.

Front-page, please.

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