kemelyt:
I think that's because @ some point you learnt your mistakes & organised yourself better, but it is not everyone that can be like you.

Not everything a child does deserves beating or punishment..I believe that a child who is acting differently from d norm is seeing things frm a different perspective..u jst need to understand such child nd show him/her d way instead of excessive beating which will only make d chilld despise you..

VoteDemiladgold:
lol.. I think modern mums aren't like the mums of those days... it's only ends in shouts like, I will beat u oooo, I will spank you now, etc.. dats all.. well who wan spoil go spoil... dats the fact.

That's true tho..times av changed..I remember my 3 yrs old cousin telling his mum..'Mama,wos ur pwoblem' nd his mum was jst laughing..if na my mama ehn,she will show him d problem,if he can't solve it na to show him to his creator.

mysticgal:
Truth is that most parents have not sat down to understand their children, they just look at the outlook(stubbornness) and not what they feel. If you seat a presumed stubborn person, you'll find out that there is a psychological push just that it has not been found.
Op, what works for me is;
If it is a preteen :I'll take the person out, maybe to an eatery and then try to scrutinise the whole issue making it easier to deal with. Anything but beating works faster.

Mine will be to make the child my friend as I'm friends with you.

It's all about moderation. Beating a child excessively will not correct the child's stubbornness but a combination of long talks, punishment and beating will do the trick. I remember when I did badly in school, I did not fear the whooping like I feared the long talks and punishments like doing all the chores in the house while the younger ones watches and receiving no allowance for six months. Needless to say, the next term I placed 2nd in my class. A stubborn child is a combination of ignorance and a call for attention. Give the child a lot of attention by taking interest in his or her interests and the stubbornness will gradually disappear!

Counselling works.

bettercreature:
You are very funny,Refuse to beat your kids at your own peril

Read the post well. Too much of beaten will only harden a kids heart.

MzLarem:
That's true tho..times av changed..I remember my 3 yrs old cousin telling his mum..'Mama,wos ur pwoblem' nd his mum was jst laughing..if na my mama ehn,she will show him d problem,if he can't solve it na to show him to his creator.

hahahahha well isn't it surprising enough wen we become mums, we'd still pamper the kids.. i'm even thinking of sending my kids to one kyn strong military school wen I get married.

RobinHez:
It has been generally proven that spoken words work better than spanking!

For a stubborn child, take some time to observe it's actions. Why they're been done and how the child feels when he does them. Then use those data as a weapon in dealing with the child.

No be were my cousin deyooo

VoteDemiladgold:
hahahahha well isn't it surprising enough wen we become mums, we'd still pamper the kids.. i'm even thinking of sending my kids to one kyn strong military school wen I get married.

Lolz..Kids re adorable so dat explains d pampering..its jst their unnecessary tantrums.

If u send ur kids to a military school,be ready to av children with tough hearts.

uzoormah:


Experience!!
U must have been so stubborn when you were a kid

You can't imagine.
I once came 15th in class (Primary school). Out of 26 pupils. I got home with my result and didn't feel remorse about it. Mom woke me up at 2:30am and said.. "Listen Eniola, there are lots of pretty girls out there. Only the ones with brain are successful. If you grow up to become a pepper or orange seller,you'll always remember how you've always been a failure" I cried till dawn and couldn't look her in face the next morning. Ever since then, I never got below 6th position.
RIP mom.

kaboninc:

Mine will be to make the child my friend as I'm friends with you.

Lol, swerry hawayu

Wizkoko:


All those methods don't work; it's beating that fix a child. If you look at the American children, you will notice that they are very stubborn; they lack respect, and they talk shit to their parents face. All of that is due to lack of beating. But look at our Nigerian children, they don't disrespect people anyhow. The beating has humbled them. Although beating works wonders, don't over use it because too much of everything is bad.

well, u sed it all dat "beating works wonders...nd evn d bible says it dat "in d heart of a child is madness and cane is to be used in pushing it out, buh datz a typical quality of an african child which works out most tyms buh not all d tym. If u beat a child with d sole purpose of changing him/her for gud nd it does not work out...do u knw dat d child will turn for bad in folds?

Even as an Afican child, wen u cut all ties with dem and make dem realise some major things which they can miss through that, they may tend to change for good.

Not all d tym tho'! Erryfn is juz interwoven...

MzLarem:
Lolz..Kids re adorable so dat explains d pampering..its jst their unnecessary tantrums.

If u send ur kids to a military school,be ready to av children with tough hearts.

that's just the idea... dnt need me some butty ass children all grown up. Naaah.. want tough able Bodied men dah will bulldoze any mudafvcker dat tries me...

Enypie:


You can't imagine.
I once came 15th in class (Primary school). Out of 26 pupils. I got home with my result and didn't feel remorse about it. Mom woke me up at 2:30am and said.. "Listen Eniola, there are lots of pretty girls out there. Only the ones with brain are successful. If you grow up to become a pepper or orange seller,you'll always remember how you've always been a failure" I cried till dawn and couldn't look her in face the next morning. Ever since then, I never got below 6th position.
RIP mom.

Such words have a way of changing ones life
so sorry abt ur mum Eniola
may her soul R.I.P

VoteDemiladgold:
that's just the idea... dnt need me some butty ass children all grown up. Naaah.. want tough able Bodied men dah will bulldoze any mudafvcker dat tries me...

dis got me laughing hard...*Rotfl*..May God help u dear.

PoliticalThuG:
There is this woman living next to my house. This woman beats the hell out of her daughter at every slightest mistake her daughter makes.

Asked why she always beats her daughter, she said her daughter is very stubborn.

Is that the best way to handle a stubborn kid? By spanking?

Kukuma tell us say na ur daughter,stop lieing.

Heavy beaten

uzoormah:


Such words have a way of changing ones life
so sorry abt ur mum Eniola
may her soul R.I.P

True.
Thanks. But don't be, it's 8yrs already.

MzLarem:
dis got me laughing hard...*Rotfl*..May God help u dear.

children like those twins in the movie "phone swap"

Wizkoko:


Let me also refer you to proverbs 23:13-14: "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

My Brother, read your Bible well, and stop confusing people. I'm sure many people who saw your post will also go and confuse more people.

Just rip the whole New Testament right out of your Bible. Proverbs 23:14 clearly states that striking the child with a rod will save his soul from hell. There is no need for a Savior. God's grace through Jesus Christ is not required for salvation. You and your rod can take care of that yourself.

Now that Jesus is no longer part of the picture, we must return to a life under Law rather than under Grace. As the Law states, rebellious sons are to be stoned (Deuteronomy 21:18-21). This may be difficult for you as a parent to carry through with; however, the Bible demands it and we must be willing to do as God instructs

VoteDemiladgold:
children like those twins in the movie "phone swap"

Lolz..be careful what u ask for cos u might jst get it.

Mountain of fire deliverance.....

Lol... just kiding

~Talk to the child about dos and donts sternly but with love and concern ( funny enough, i just had one of such talks with my kifs this morning.. My son was giving me attitude this mornin when i vehemently refused that he couldnt have something he was asking for . Telling me all his friends this and that, i called an emergency family meeting to remind them of our family dos and donts irrespective of whatever their friends are allow ed to have or do .

~Say what u mean and mean what u say ( am sorry to say that some parents are lousy at having meaningful conversations with kids and this makes them look unserious to kids. Kids are good at reading adults, they act differently with different adults depending on how they percieve u.

~Make them understand that there will be consequences to bad behaviour and follow through on this when child misbehaves. Being weak at correcting and punishing children sends a message of u being a bluffer, and this makes them slowly begin to see ur threats as empty. The will begin to call ur bluff and test ur patience.

~After correction and punishment, show some love, have more talks of love and encouragement. Remind the child of ur love for him or her and why u are doing what u do.


A child is not born sturborn neither he or she just suddenly become sturborn. Lack of balance, stability, and just pure poor upbringing can cause a child to start acting up and start showing sturborness and rebelion.
Its very difficult to see a child who feels loved, encouraged, appreciated, self confident display sturboness.

So overall i would say just
Be a loving parent
Dont use bad, demeaning words on ur kids
Encourage ur child
Praise ur child
Appreciate ur child
Boost their self confidence and make them feel they really matter.
And of course, how can i forget PRAY FOR and PRAY WITH ur child. A Godly home produces Godly childrenand eventually Godly adults.
The importance of creating the right atmosphere for kids to grow in from an early age can never be over emphasised.

Anyone that has to beat a child has proven, they are not smarter than the child but only stronger! Children are not as experienced as you.....you can always find a way to make them do what is good for them as long as you are smarter, it's called manipulation it works!! By the time they realise this, they are all grown up and it means they are now thinking well enough to be able to notice how you have manipulated them, so at which point it proves they are not stupid.

PoliticalThuG:
There is this woman living next to my house. This woman beats the hell out of her daughter at every slightest mistake her daughter makes.

Asked why she always beats her daughter, she said her daughter is very stubborn.

Is that the best way to handle a stubborn kid? By spanking?

How old is the daughter?

Foolishness is bound in the heart of child but the ROD of correction shall drive it far away form him.

Then she is not stubborn. She has been cowed. The beating is now too much. the mum has been overdoing it!
if she is really stubborn, na the mum go don tire. how can she be stubborn and is afraid of playing with her mates because of beating.

if she is stubborn, mum will beat her for rough playing by 10.00am and 10.30 she will be back to playing rougher plays.

PoliticalThuG:
she is now afraid to play with her age mates because her mother will beat her

MzLarem:
Not everything a child does deserves beating or punishment..I believe that a child who is acting differently from d norm is seeing things frm a different perspective..u jst need to understand such child nd show him/her d way instead of excessive beating which will only make d chilld despise you..

Why waste your time as a parent trying to understand a child who won't bother to understand you? Every child needs a good flogging, stubborn or not.


The problem with child-raising in Nigeria is the psychologists in fair weather countries who try to tell you Nigerians how to mollycoddle your children when you find yourself under very Nigerian conditions. I'm yet to see a white person who doesn't flog/beat their child - if they get whiny at the mall, they lay it into them, anywhere they want to. Yet people in backwater countries will be trying to sound like it's civilized not to flog their children. If you talk to a child and it won't listen, then flog/beat it. If it persists then deprive it of the things it loves. Either it runs away as a bitter f.ool or it learns. Each to their own choice. If it's life becomes a mess because you didn't flog/beat it, it's that same child that will turn round to accuse you of not being there to discipline it. Either way, it will look for what to say about why it's life is so good or bad.

The more you call them kids, the worse they'll be. Don't you know that kids are young goats?

soopamom:

Spare the rod, the first question is "what is a rod?"
Now I'll refer you to psalm 23 " Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me" so it's a shepherds rod, which was used to gently guide the sheep. Not flog the sheep as most people assume. ...gentle guidance is what is needed, even from the Bible

u r gud .. kip it up

mysticgal:

Lol, swerry hawayu

Lool

Am fine baby....

And you?

kaboninc:

Lool
Am fine baby....
And you?

Am ok

Tellemall:


Why waste your time as a parent trying to understand a child who won't bother to understand you? Every child needs a good flogging, stubborn or not.


The problem with child-raising in Nigeria is the psychologists in fair weather countries who try to tell you Nigerians how to mollycoddle your children when you find yourself under very Nigerian conditions. I'm yet to see a white person who doesn't flog/beat their child - if they get whiny at the mall, they lay it into them, anywhere they want to. Yet people in backwater countries will be trying to sound like it's civilized not to flog their children. If you talk to a child and it won't listen, then flog/beat it. If it persists then deprive it of the things it loves. Either it runs away as a bitter f.ool or it learns. Each to their own choice. If it's life becomes a mess because you didn't flog/beat it, it's that same child that will turn round to accuse you of not being there to discipline it. Either way, it will look for what to say about why it's life is so good or bad.

The more you call them kids, the worse they'll be. Don't you know that kids are young goats?

I find ur post very disturbing..I just hope u won't turn to one of those abusive fathers who maltreats their kids..
1)U're referring to a child as 'it'
2) To you,they re jst young goats ryt..even sum1 with a heart won't flog a young goat everytime..come on,some kid(goat's baby) re cute.
3)I wrote 'NOT EVERYTHING THEY DO DESERVES BEATING'..I didn't write 'don't beat them @ all'
4)Kids re innocent except those with a faulty background..so,sometime they act out of deir naivety nd ignorance
5 nd Lastly,for everything ur child does,u need to check urself cos he/she is learning from you..so,if ur child is a young goat,then u're a Malu(cow)

Finally,u can flog d life out of ur child,na u born am bt remember,there re now agencies against child molestation..U don't wanna end up in dat dreadful place 4 scolding YOUR own child
#Constructivecriticismisthekey

Tellemall:


Why waste your time as a parent trying to understand a child who won't bother to understand you? Every child needs a good flogging, stubborn or not.


The problem with child-raising in Nigeria is the psychologists in fair weather countries who try to tell you Nigerians how to mollycoddle your children when you find yourself under very Nigerian conditions. I'm yet to see a white person who doesn't flog/beat their child - if they get whiny at the mall, they lay it into them, anywhere they want to. Yet people in backwater countries will be trying to sound like it's civilized not to flog their children. If you talk to a child and it won't listen, then flog/beat it. If it persists then deprive it of the things it loves. Either it runs away as a bitter f.ool or it learns. Each to their own choice. If it's life becomes a mess because you didn't flog/beat it, it's that same child that will turn round to accuse you of not being there to discipline it. Either way, it will look for what to say about why it's life is so good or bad.

The more you call them kids, the worse they'll be. Don't you know that kids are young goats?

Its not about disciplining your child but how you go about it. Excessive flogging hardens the heart and makes him difficult to control. Even your mother knows that.


There's nothing wrong with flogging a child. But how you do so matters. Do you flog him until his hands peels? Or until he bleeds out? Or until he faints? What message are you trying to pass across?

And its not about Africans and non Africans. As we have parents who beats up their child to stupor here in Nigeria, you have parents who shoots their kids in other countries. Let's stop the stereotyping!

I've come to realise that kids learn most when you do the talk and speak to them. They watch you and you should be careful around them. When they test you, or try to usurp your authority, at that tender age, subtle discipline will put them in line.

Most people don't really know how it feels to be a victim of these excessive floggings.