diportivo:
Na wa o

U av heard/seen/observed the problem

U av also identified the source beyond reasonable doubt

Wat oda advice dyu need?

Oga,do d needful

metalgear:


From this your response I deduce two things -

1. You are just fresh out of or still in school and you have no idea how it is to work to take care of a family.
2. You have no kids.

Life in the USA is not the same as life in Nigeria. You can't decide to just leave work or not show up just like we sometimes do at home. Most people here work by the hour and have bills to pay. The amount of rent we pay here a month, if we convert it to naira, it's enough to pay for a medium sized two-bedroom apartment back home for six months. And that doesn't include electricity, water, and gas. One source of income is usually not enough to take care of a family here, except you are working a high-paying job, and even at that a large chunk goes to taxes.

Kids do not care whether there's no diapers to wear or no food to eat at home. There's is to open there mouths and yell until there hunger is satisfied or their soiled clothes are changed. I cannot starve my kids and I have to work to take care of them. My wife and I try so hard to balance work, school and raising the kids. It's just unfortunate that some of our classes fall on the same day. We try as much as possible to minimize the time they stay at the nanny's as much as possible so that we have more time with them, but there are times we can't help it. So please don't lecture me on my priorities or the quality of care I give my kids. My number one priority is my family and we sometimes have to make difficult sacrifices for the best for them.

InformedLola:


Don't mind him; he's waiting for us to tell him what to do first. People these days will even come online and ask 'my house is on fire what do I do?'

armyofone:
Metal gear,
Put your kids in a reputable daycare 6am -6pm and give your self peace of mind. What are you doing hiring someone to watch your children at home ? By the way, did you even install a camera in their home, no ?
Jisos onye ebere!!
What classes are you guys both doing at night ? There are options all around you. Transfer to another school if the current one is not flexible enough. One person focusing on school and work while the other person just work or school alone.
A person who chases everything might not catch anything. You are chasing work, school and family. ...sigh

Ioannes:
bottom line is, no one can care for your kid as well as you, and nobody should, otherwise you become replaceable in the lives of your kids.
I know how tough situations can be juggling work and school, but I think with better planning, you and your wife can agree on a solution that doesn't have to involve outsiders or paid child minders.
let me paraphrase idris Elba in the movie "daddy's little girls": "sometimes, parents have to give up their dreams so their kids can have one".
all the best.

metalgear:


Something to point out for you to understand - I never said I don't have time for my kids. All I said was we go to work and class everyday and we drop them off at the nanny's, something most working family couples do. I stay at home most weekends and take them out. Fridays my wife and I don't work and we spend time with them at home.

metalgear:


Sadly, the grandparents thing can't really work. My mother-in-law passed away in the Dana crash a month after our wedding. As for my mum...let me just say she has three other grand kids and my dad, so she can't be everywhere at the same time.

As for the deferral of school, she has about two more semesters till she finishes her program. I, being in a doctorate program, still have about 3 years. So I really don't want her to stop when she's close to the end. If anyone was to stop for now it would be me, but still we may be in the same pot cos I will still have to go to work during the day.

We've talked about bringing one of her elderly folks from home, but we've not come to a definite conclusion who it could be. I think that will have to be the last option.

damiso:




If there is one advise I hate on NL its the 'go and look for teaching Job' for women so they can look after children.

No wonder our educational system is nose diving.
Teaching is a vocation and time consuming if you are good at it.
I don't get why people think being a teacher is a walk in the park. I have a friend who is a teacher and I get home before her most evenings.

Every afternoon when I go to pick up my daughter from after school club you still find the school car park filled with teachers' cars most of them lesson prepping for the next day. They even have to take home assessments and other work sometimes to be done later in the evening when most people are relaxing. Depending on what year they teach some of them have to even in come early and during holidays to do extra coaching with their students/pupils.

Except you are not a good teacher being a teacher is not the 'easy option' that people tend to make it as on NL. The only incentive that I can take think off that they have is they are off during the school holidays. Which in the UK is not even that great because for those that don't have children it means they have to pay more for vacations as school holiday period is when vacations cost the most. They cant even take time off in term time.Or maybe that they have first hand knowledge of the curriculum and as such would be better suited to teaching and helping their children with homework.

damiso:




If there is one advise I hate on NL its the 'go and look for teaching Job' for women so they can look after children.

No wonder our educational system is nose diving.
Teaching is a vocation and time consuming if you are good at it.
I don't get why people think being a teacher is a walk in the park. I have a friend who is a teacher and I get home before her most evenings.

Every afternoon when I go to pick up my daughter from after school club you still find the school car park filled with teachers' cars most of them lesson prepping for the next day. They even have to take home assessments and other work sometimes to be done later in the evening when most people are relaxing. Depending on what year they teach some of them have to even in come early and during holidays to do extra coaching with their students/pupils.

Except you are not a good teacher being a teacher is not the 'easy option' that people tend to make it as on NL. The only incentive that I can take think off that they have is they are off during the school holidays. Which in the UK is not even that great because for those that don't have children it means they have to pay more for vacations as school holiday period is when vacations cost the most. They cant even take time off in term time.Or maybe that they have first hand knowledge of the curriculum and as such would be better suited to teaching and helping their children with homework.

tearoses:


The in thing now is aupairs and live in mama's
and I have heard heaps of horror stories about these too
I am not sure one can trust anyone these days
The things I have heard are not encouraging at all
I really feel for people with young kids

Onegai:


Nigerian teachers are not motivated. Nigerian workers in general are not motivated. Our society is apathetic. It annoys me when they tell married women "go and teach or start a school", what was once a wonderful discipline has now become somewhere to dump bored housewives. Teachers are too busy being worried about the basics of living to care about imparting anything meaningful to their students. The first thing Daycares do is to suscribe for DSTV or buy Barney cds, so as to have something to shut the kids up with.

Metalgear, most of us have lived in the U.S. please think about this carefully: do you want your child to be left to the whims of cheap childcare in a society which is set up to fail Black Americans? It's a risk that if you're willing to take, sure (and pray nothing happens. Though your 3 year old is attempting to kiss her sibling, most likely she's been exposed to weird stuff). You should take time off, let wifey finish her course and then you continue. Or send kids back to grandparents in Nigeria and pray that they are on top of the situation.

metalgear:


Something to point out for you to understand - I never said I don't have time for my kids. All I said was we go to work and class everyday and we drop them off at the nanny's, something most working family couples do. I stay at home most weekends and take them out. Fridays my wife and I don't work and we spend time with them at home.

pinkiberry:
there you go, I am a teacher by profession.

metalgear:


I asked for advice, no criticism, so if you have nothing to say, please zip it, take a bow and leave. No one forced you to comment.

InformedLola:


Mr. you are in a situation where you need to act fast to correct what could easily become a developmental flaw, I don't see what you need advise for. We need to squash this overt social media dependence.

thorpido:
You just have to make out time for your kids especially at their developmental stage.You and your wife decided to put all your sticks in the fire at the same time but it can't always work that way.
It's good to build a career but family is also very important.
The options that are most available to you now are either to pay a trained certified child minder or you cut your work/school schedule.

metalgear:


There's something most people here are misquoting me on. I never said we don't spend time with the kids. My wife and I don't go to work on Fridays and we are mostly indoors during the weekends with them. I close from work at 1pm on Thursdays and I immediately go pick them up. It's only the days we have classes at the same time that we pick them up late. My wife does her studying mostly in school (she works on-campus) and I read on weekends. So weekends she's at home with them if I decide to come to school to study. It's not as if we just decided to dump our kids with someone else while we run after education. We're not irresponsible parents. We know our kids need our attention. It's just those few days during the week that seem tight.

thorpido:
I actually didn't misunderstand you neither do I see you as irresponsible.
You both decided to pursue post-graduate studies while raising families.What we're saying is that it's a bit too much.It would have been okay if you had a trusted child minder at home or you were keeping your kids in a certified day care center.

ify84:
One of you should resign.... Open a shop... And train ur children...

britiko:
The live in care giver thing can save you loads of funds.try to concentrate more on that.
Another way around this is to bring your parents(mums)
In by alternating their visits every six months.(I.e they spend six months each).
It works a lot.


For your little kid, get her a Samsung tab, download educational apps on it .You can download Yk(YouTube for kids). It's strictly cartoons that are educative. Pls put parental control.

You can also download and register her for IXL if she's kindergarteen age. You get a weekly report on ur kids progress. That way you know if they actually practised or not.
I used preschool prep for my daughter when she was a preschooler. It's very engaging and educating. I switched to IXL for JK &SK.

Alternate their viewings between this apps.
I hope you find a solution around this.

It's important that you note that it would be difficult for you to control the tv viewing in someone else's house.

Mayflowa:


Almost every near puberty kids with Internet google sex.com. Sadly that it's a porn site!

britiko:


What's the correlation to my post?

Mayflowa:


Because you mentioned tablet? Don't they have Internet?

britiko:


Sir,I believe you read the part of my post on parental control on the Samsung tab.
Apart from that some of this apps allow u to download and use in offline mode such as preschool.
Then this is a toddler we r also discussing not a teen of puberty age.