i have always being a pro bride-price, i was brought up to understand that bride price is the pride of every woman. perhaps, bride price was a thing of pride centuries ago where women were to be seen but not heard, where a woman's primary duty was to produce children and take care of her husband and home, it was no surprise that men then acquired and married so many women as they were commodities of machandise.

things have really changed now, women are no longer shadows in their matrimonies, they now merge their primary responsibilities and their careers.

women in some homes are now co-bread winners in their , some help their husbands when in need financially.

what is the real essence of the groom paying money to the bride family? some bride family marriage list consists of varying prices for the bride ranging from skin complexion, to intellect, to educational qualification, the higher these variables the higher the money to be paid.

since the groom was forced to pay through his teeth, he regards his wife as his property for life, her opinion in the house are not important, she must perform the reason for her purchase, she must be ready to endure him and pray harder when he cheats, she must be ready to pray and fast even harder when he sexually, emotionally and physically abuse her, little wonder why men support the phrase 'no rape in marriage'.

the bride price culture was propounded by men themselves, because everything on the list and even the monies paid go to their pocket.

As every other culture that is archaic and have been scrapped, the culture of bride price should follow suit.

what do you think,does bride price enslaves women or liberate them, should it be scrapped or maintained?.

hmmm...this is our tradotion old as nature itself..it's a religious act (islamically...dnt knw bout christianity) also.

so.it should cherished and let blossomed till d end of time

2undexy:
hmmm...this is our tradotion old as nature itself..it's a religious act (islamically...dnt knw bout christianity) also.

so.it should cherished and let blossomed till d end of time

par adventure, you marry a white lady, will you insist on paying her bride price?

The essence of bride price is to show the woman's value.
And it's not just our (African) culture.

All over the world to woo a woman you have to bring gifts. Weather its a single rose or 10 tubers of yam, you just can't walk into a woman's family and take away one of their children.

No matter how emancipated women have become they are still women. They will not lose thier ability to bear children neither will they suddenly become physically stronger than men no matter how much they earn. Women are nurturers of the human race and should be treated with a certain respect and dignity and should be given the value they deserve when being made a part of a man's family.

Hence the bride price.

5minsmadness:
The essence of bride price is to show the woman's value.
And it's not just our (African) culture.

All over the world to woo a woman you have to bring gifts. Weather its a single rose or 10 tubers of yam, you just can't walk into a woman's family and take away one of their children.

No matter how emancipated women have become they are still women. They will not lose thier ability to bear children neither will they suddenly become physically stronger than men no matter how much they earn. Women are nurturers of the human race and should be treated with a certain respect and dignity and should be given the value they deserve when being made a part of a man's family.

Hence the bride price.

if a man want to show appreciation to the bride family by bringing gifts, it very okay, likewise the lady.

but no piece of paper should be presented to the man to pay certain amount of money to the family, even if the man can not afford it.

A lady's value is not on the money the man pays to her family, but expressed in the way he respects and treats her and her family.

I dunno about other people o. But my bride price must be paid.

Florblu:
I dunno about other people o. But my bride price must be paid.

lolzz. why if I may ask?

mizquote:

lolzz. why if I may ask?

It is essential my dear

You started well, but couldn't help twisting the facts as you bring your post to conclusion.
An abusive man doesn't need bride prize to abuse his wife.

Before a woman crosses that great chasm of marriage where she leaves her father's home for good and cling to a new home and culture, where she would bear children who will be the future generation, children who would be kings, presidents, leaders and teachers, children who will trace their lineage through their father, it is right that certain rites ought to be fulfilled.
A young unmarried girl belongs to her father and her father's family to an extent.

Bride price is both a physical and spiritual ritual as far as African culture goes. It is the appeasement of both man and spirit. It is also the fulfilment of manhood and a testament of financial responsibility on the side of the man that he is capable of taking care of his family.
As far as Africa goes, until a bride price is paid as stipulated by the girl's father, she's not properly married. The spirits won't recognise such a marriage even if it were conducted in a church by the Pope himself or in a court by the chief judge of the federation. Until a father's requirements are met in the traditional marriage setting, she remains not properly married. Only he has the privilege to give his daughter out.

Bride price does not in anyway depicts the trading off of women. Like every good custom and practice, it is bound to suffer abuse and corruption.

mizquote:
i have always being a pro bride-price, i was brought up to understand that bride price is the pride of every woman. perhaps, bride price was a thing of pride centuries ago where women were to be seen but not heard, where a woman's primary duty was to produce children and take care of her husband and home, it was no surprise that men then acquired and married so many women as they were commodities of machandise.
things have really changed now, women are no longer shadows in their matrimonies, they now merge their primary responsibilities and their careers.
women in some homes are now co-bread winners in their , some help their husbands when in need financially.
what is the real essence of the groom paying money to the bride family? some bride family marriage list consists of varying prices for the bride ranging from skin complexion, to intellect, to educational qualification, the higher these variables the higher the money to be paid.
since the groom was forced to pay through his teeth, he regards his wife as his property for life, her opinion in the house are not important, she must perform the reason for her purchase, she must be ready to endure him and pray harder when he cheats, she must be ready to pray and fast even harder when he sexually, emotionally and physically abuse her, little wonder why men support the phrase 'no rape in marriage'.
the bride price culture was propounded by men themselves, because everything on the list and even the monies paid go to their pocket.
As every other culture that is archaic and have been scrapped, the culture of bride price should follow suit.
what do you think,does bride price enslaves women or liberate them, should it be scrapped or maintained?.

It is to confirm the purchase of ur wife. B.t.w what about groom price as in d case of India?

Overrated practice

Buy this buy that as if to say those on that side are hungry and thirsty

If God blesses me with a daughter,i wont bring her up thinking her self-worth is tied to some tubers of yam


Na dat yam own dey even vex me pass

postmann:
You started well, but couldn't help twisting the facts as you bring your post to conclusion.
An abusive man doesn't need bride prize to abuse his wife.

Before a woman crosses that great chasm of marriage where she leaves her father's home for good and cling to a new home and culture, where she would bear children who will be the future generation, children who would be kings, presidents, leaders and teachers, children who will trace their lineage through their father, it is right that certain rites ought to be fulfilled.
A young unmarried girl belongs to her father and her father's family to an extent.

Bride price is both a physical and spiritual ritual as far as African culture goes. It is the appeasement of both man and spirit. It is also the fulfilment of manhood and a testament of financial responsibility on the side of the man that he is capable of taking care of his family.
As far as Africa goes, until a bride price is paid as stipulated by the girl's father, she's not properly married. The spirits won't recognise such a marriage even if it were conducted in a church by the Pope himself or in a court by the chief judge of the federation. Until a father's requirements are met in the traditional marriage setting, she remains not properly married. Only he has the privilege to give his daughter out.

Bride price does not in anyway depicts the trading off of women. Like every good custom and practice, it is bound to suffer abuse and corruption.

what an intending couple need is blessings from both parents and it is not tied to
tubbers of yam, kegs of 'kia-kia, rolls of tobacco & snuff and money to be paid to the bride parent, even if the groom can't afford it.

mizquote:


if a man want to show appreciation to the bride family by bringing gifts, it very okay, likewise the lady.

but no piece of paper should be presented to the man to pay certain amount of money to the family, even if the man can not afford it.

A lady's value is not on the money the man pays to her family, but expressed in the way he respects and treats her and her family.

The paper is for formality and uniformity.
Giving a suitor a bride price he can't afford is due to two reasons :
1. The family doesn't like the man.
2. Greed.

Value in this context is symbolic. You are not literally buying the woman , just showing her worth to her family symbolically.

mizquote:


what an intending couple need is blessings from both parents and it is not tied to
tubbers of yam, kegs of 'kia-kia, rolls of tobacco & snuff and money to be paid to the bride parent, even if the groom can't afford it.

Requirements are requirements. Blessings are blessings. They both are essential for a healthy conduct of marriage.

postmann:
You started well, but couldn't help twisting the facts as you bring your post to conclusion.
An abusive man doesn't need bride prize to abuse his wife.

Before a woman crosses that great chasm of marriage where she leaves her father's home for good and cling to a new home and culture, where she would bear children who will be the future generation, children who would be kings, presidents, leaders and teachers, children who will trace their lineage through their father, it is right that certain rites ought to be fulfilled.
A young unmarried girl belongs to her father and her father's family to an extent.

Bride price is both a physical and spiritual ritual as far as African culture goes. It is the appeasement of both man and spirit. It is also the fulfilment of manhood and a testament of financial responsibility on the side of the man that he is capable of taking care of his family.
As far as Africa goes, until a bride price is paid as stipulated by the girl's father, she's not properly married. The spirits won't recognise such a marriage even if it were conducted in a church by the Pope himself or in a court by the chief judge of the federation. Until a father's requirements are met in the traditional marriage setting, she remains not properly married. Only he has the privilege to give his daughter out.

Bride price does not in anyway depicts the trading off of women. Like every good custom and practice, it is bound to suffer abuse and corruption.

Well said my good man. Well said.

It will interest u to know tha even the church will not go ahead with a marriage until the bride price has been paid.

And like u said, every good custom and practice will suffer abuse and corruption. That doesn't make it bad.

I can't imagine a man refusing to pay a woman's bride price in one way or the other. A woman he professes to love? That man ain't worth his salt. And that woman isn't his wife.

mizquote:
i have always being a pro bride-price, i was brought up to understand that bride price is the pride of every woman. perhaps, bride price was a thing of pride centuries ago where women were to be seen but not heard, where a woman's primary duty was to produce children and take care of her husband and home, it was no surprise that men then acquired and married so many women as they were commodities of machandise.

things have really changed now, women are no longer shadows in their matrimonies, they now merge their primary responsibilities and their careers.

women in some homes are now co-bread winners in their , some help their husbands when in need financially.

what is the real essence of the groom paying money to the bride family? some bride family marriage list consists of varying prices for the bride ranging from skin complexion, to intellect, to educational qualification, the higher these variables the higher the money to be paid.

since the groom was forced to pay through his teeth, he regards his wife as his property for life, her opinion in the house are not important, she must perform the reason for her purchase, she must be ready to endure him and pray harder when he cheats, she must be ready to pray and fast even harder when he sexually, emotionally and physically abuse her, little wonder why men support the phrase 'no rape in marriage'.

the bride price culture was propounded by men themselves, because everything on the list and even the monies paid go to their pocket.

As every other culture that is archaic and have been scrapped, the culture of bride price should follow suit.

what do you think,does bride price enslaves women or liberate them, should it be scrapped or maintained?.

Bride price is a non negotiable biblical injunction. A woman was created for a man n d4 he marries her by paying bride price to her father. Whatever d father accepts as her daughter's bride price is OK, though it's been trimmed down so as nt to seem lik dey r selling their daughter

I want it scrapped!

As said by some already, bride price is a culture that has been in practice aeons ago and although not in support of it I'm not against it either. The bride price praxis in itself isn't a problem, the problem is the list that's attached to it. Those tubers of yams, kegs of palm wine, drinks etc should be scrapped. Those items shouldn't be mandatory but voluntarily.

Many keep saying that bride price has been reasonably reduced to 5k or less in most places but that to me isn't the problem. The obscene and irrational list is the problem.

ogawisdom:


Bride price is a non negotiable biblical injunction. A woman was created for a man n d4 he marries her by paying bride price to her father. Whatever d father accepts as her daughter's bride price is OK, though it's been trimmed down so as nt to seem lik dey r selling their daughter

bible injunction you say?
is it amongst the ten commandments, who injucted and to whom pls?

nawao

ronald4lif:
As said by some already, bride price is a culture that has been in practice aeons ago and although not in support of it I'm not against it either. The bride price praxis in itself isn't a problem, the problem is the list that's attached to it. Those tubers of yams, kegs of palm wine, drinks etc should be scrapped. Those items shouldn't be mandatory but voluntarily.

Many keep saying that bride price has been reasonably reduced to 5k or less in most places but that to me isn't the problem. The obscene and irrational list is the problem.

what is the essence of the '5k' or other monies paid, if I may ask?

how about countries that do not practise bride payment? the name in itself is not right 'bride PRICE',.

5minsmadness:

Well said my good man. Well said.

It will interest u to know tha even the church will not go ahead with a marriage until the bride price has been paid.

And like u said, every good custom and practice will suffer abuse and corruption. That doesn't make it bad.

I can't imagine a man refusing to pay a woman's bride price in one way or the other. A woman he professes to love? That man ain't worth his salt. And that woman isn't his wife.

the traditional marriage rite can hold, without the groom paying any sort of money to the bride family as a price for her.

Gifts can be exchange between the both family.

mizquote:


what an intending couple need is blessings from both parents and it is not tied to
tubbers of yam, kegs of 'kia-kia, rolls of tobacco & snuff and money to be paid to the bride parent, even if the groom can't afford it.

Why do they need blessings, Is that not an outdated and archaic practice?

Florblu:
I dunno about other people o.
But my bride price must be paid.

raumdeuter:


Why do they need blessings, Is that not an outdated and archaic practice?

that is not the topic of discourse.

like seriously... i agreed to whosoever posted this at first... i see no reason of paying Bride price to the bride family. when you both love one another,afterall the bride wasn't forced to marry the groom...on other point, bride price was paid to the bride family then bcs it a sign that u want to purchase the lady from her parent even if she loves u or not... then the girl will still b a virgin u will b the first to disflower her,buh now most girls are not a virgin anymore so what the essence of paying the bride price..

2undexy:
hmmm...this is our tradotion old as nature itself..it's a religious act (islamically...dnt knw bout christianity) also.

so.it should cherished and let blossomed till d end of time

BRIDE PRICE ( MAHR) IN ISLAM IS PAID TO THÉ WOMAN ALONE AND NOT HER FAMILY.ONLY THÉ WOMAN DECIDES WHAT SHE WANTS AS HER DOWRY FROM HER HUSBAND.

Apart from that He has made all other women lawful for you provided you seek them with your wealth in marriage and not in fornication. When you consummate your marriage with them give them their prescribed dowry. There is nothing wrong in any further agreement you might come to after the dowry has been given. Allah is All-Knowing,All-Wise. (4:24)

byvan03:
I want it scrapped!

Lols!

Why?

I was asking the 'usefulness' of it a while back though

it's a practice that has overstayed its welcome and is no longer relevant or meaningful. . . . . . . . . . .it should be scrapped out completely!!!!. . .Africans and their backward mumu style of reasoning!

mizquote:


that is not the topic of discourse.

He was getting to the 'topic of discourse' with these questions

bukatyne:


Lols!

Why?

I was asking the 'usefulness' of it a while back though

You know we always hear things like " A man can cheat because he paid the bride price and owns the woman". Am just curious to know what mantra they will change to if marrying a wife doesn't cost a dime. They should exchange cowries as bride price, scrap that horrible list that they issue out. Let's see the new excuses.

byvan03:



You know we always hear things like " A man can cheat because he paid the bride price and owns the woman". Am just curious to know what mantra they will change to if marrying a wife doesn't cost a dime. They should exchange cowries as bride price, scrap that horrible list that they issue out. Let's see the new excuses.

Lols!

Bride price.... What a name

bukatyne:


Lols!

Bride price.... What a name

Lol, just like shoe price.