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Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? - Romance - Nairaland

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Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 9:14am On Apr 28, 2016
It baffles me how we Nigerians are wired in our thinking when it comea to making choice in love, friendship or association
.
We usually don't look beyond the physical. In fact we get attracted by things that are only there by chance not by our making. stuffs like beauty, status, wealth, physical endowments (in women) is what we make our criteria.

Let's just even take the case of olajumoke and the 5 pointer graduate. A lot of people would prefer associating with the former than the latter, while the latter has better things to offer than te former. It's probably one of the reasons our economy remains the way it is.
People go into relationships with no emotions attached - they only understand the language of the physicals rather than looking beyond that and focusing on the personality.
Same way some would rather be friends with people whose parents are rich or who is beautiful and attracts the opposite sex even when the friendship is riddled with fight, envy, competition and non compatibility.

people's countenance towards you changes when they know of your statuS. If they wouldn't relate with you at first, they would when they find out you are the child of so and So.
Love relationships as well, maybe one of the reasons why I conclude that Nigerians don't often feel real love towards people. You have someone you're seeing already but the moment you see another girl with big boSoms or sort, u go ask her ouT. Why can't you be content with the one you have even if she/he lacks all of these? same for the females, there's the guy whom ur very much compatible with but he doesn't have money so u can't be with him or as not as handsome as the other indivisual. What makes you think he won't be successful later on?

I know my thoughts are all over the place but its just how im thinking it and how i feel typing this. I hope someone makes sense out of what I'm trying to express.

Ps* i envy the whites pretty much for their expression of love and emotional attachment and appreciation of brains / personality/ ability over beauty.
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 9:24am On Apr 28, 2016
My dear those things you complained about aren't peculiar to Nigerians alone, it is simply human nature to migrate when the grass is greener on the other side. I mean nobody wants to suffer, everyone wants fresh, already matured grass. I agree with you though, people should try to establish themselves and stop being leeches to others but most individuals fail to see that with hardwork, they can be even better than that poor fella they are living off. They fail to see that with just the right amount of watering and pruning, their grass can be even greener than the one they are eyeing. People have spoken about this but it isn't likely to change anytime soon because humans are hardwired to be greedy, lazy and yet lovers of money. Now tell me how does a lazy person who loves money get money? I guess you know the answer. I have broken the greed jinx o'er me, i hope y'all do so too.

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Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by mamawin(f): 9:51am On Apr 28, 2016
sylvalord:
My dear those things you complained about aren't peculiar to Nigerians alone, it is simply human nature to migrate when the grass is greener on the other side. I mean nobody wants to suffer, everyone wants fresh, already matured grass. I agree with you though, people should try to establish themselves and stop being leeches to others but most individuals fail to see that with hardwork, they can be even better than that poor fella they are living off. They fail to see that with just the right amount of watering and pruning, their grass can be even greener than the one they are eyeing. People have spoken about this but it isn't likely to change anytime soon because humans are hardwired to be greedy, lazy and yet lovers of money. Now tell me how does a lazy person who loves money get money? I guess you know the answer. I have broken the greed jinx o'er me, i hope y'all do so too.
sylvalord, you made a lot of sense there, but why d yellow colour?
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 9:53am On Apr 28, 2016
sylvalord:
My dear those things you complained about aren't peculiar to Nigerians alone, it is simply human nature to migrate when the grass is greener on the other side. I mean nobody wants to suffer, everyone wants fresh, already matured grass. I agree with you though, people should try to establish themselves and stop being leeches to others but most individuals fail to see that with hardwork, they can be even better than that poor fella they are living off. They fail to see that with just the right amount of watering and pruning, their grass can be even greener than the one they are eyeing. People have spoken about this but it isn't likely to change anytime soon because humans are hardwired to be greedy, lazy and yet lovers of money. Now tell me how does a lazy person who loves money get money? I guess you know the answer. I have broken the greed jinx o'er me, i hope y'all do so too.
i dont agree with your point about it not being peculiar to Nigerians And African.
If you've mixed with people of other races, u'd see the difference clearly..
it's not just money. Physical appearance as well.
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by singlefade25(f): 9:59am On Apr 28, 2016
hmmm

Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 10:25am On Apr 28, 2016
mamawin:
sylvalord, you made a lot of sense there, but why d yellow colour?
LOL! I only highlighted the post. It is my signature typing style.
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 10:37am On Apr 28, 2016
enieme:

i dont agree with your point about it not being peculiar to Nigerians And African.
If you've mixed with people of other races, u'd see the difference clearly..
it's not just money. Physical appearance as well.
Trust me it is not only peculiar to africans, i am acquainted with people of other races and i have seen enough to conclude thus. You think non-africans love dating ugly people? For love to be established, there must first be physical attraction. Who gets attracted to ugly people? Who gets attracted to someone who isn't sure of his/her tomorrow? It is just the way humans are wired dear, it is not peculiar to africans. Do not let hollywood movies deceive you, they have their shortcomings too.
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by ireneony(f): 10:41am On Apr 28, 2016
My dear this mentality is everywhere pls don't exclude the whites.
I will say white look more at the physical attribute then u wonder why there are lot of divorce cases in the west.

Normally every human beings have this trait of lusting after the physical.
cheesy pls don't take it serious o.
Myself for example, when I was in my teen, I can go gaga over handsome guys. Things have really changed over the years, cos am now more mature n wise in my ways of doing things. Now, I look at the personality and the character of a guy first before his physique. well if God decide to add handsome' to the personality, it wouldn't be a bad tin grin

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Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 11:07am On Apr 28, 2016
sylvalord:
Trust me it is not only peculiar to africans, i am acquainted with people of other races and i have seen enough to conclude thus. You think non-africans love dating ugly people? For love to be established, there must first be physical attraction. Who gets attracted to ugly people? Who gets attracted to someone who isn't sure of his/her tomorrow? It is just the way humans are wired dear, it is not peculiar to africans. Do not let hollywood movies deceive you, they have their shortcomings too.
*sighs...
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 11:08am On Apr 28, 2016
ireneony:
My dear this mentality is everywhere pls exclude the whites.
I will say white look more on the physical attribute then u wonder why there are lot of divorce cases in the west.

Normally every human beings have this trait of lusting after the physical.
cheesy pls don't take it serious o.
Myself for example, when I was in my teen, I can go gaga over handsome guys. Things have really changed over the years, cos am now more mature n wise in my ways of doing things. Now, I look at the personality and the character of a guy first before his physique. well if God decide to add handsome' to the personality, it wouldn't be a bad tin grin

and in friendship?
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by mamawin(f): 11:54am On Apr 28, 2016
sylvalord:
LOL! I only highlighted the post. It is my signature typing style.
ain't cool for some ppu's eyesight o
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Fadamant: 12:33pm On Apr 28, 2016
I find that the @op, is bothered by this inclination to look just at the physical.

@op, please, don't let it disturb you. Just know what you want and use that to good effects for yourself and the people in your relationship circle. I can guarantee you that you will not change the way people think by your worrying about it(them).
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 12:43pm On Apr 28, 2016
Fadamant:
I find that the @op, is bothered by this inclination to look just at the physical.

@op, please, don't let it disturb you. Just know what you want and use that to good effects for yourself and the people in your relationship circle. I can guarantee you that you will not change the way people think by your worrying about it(them).
thanks.
I'm not disturbed. Just was feeling a bit on the low/deep thinking when I made that post. Idleness ko da sha.
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by ireneony(f): 3:17pm On Apr 28, 2016
enieme:

and in friendship?
maybe grin
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Nobody: 5:59pm On Apr 28, 2016
ireneony:
maybe grin
maybe what, my dear?
Re: Why Don't We Look Beyond The Physical? by Fadamant: 9:21pm On Apr 28, 2016
enieme:

thanks.
I'm not disturbed. Just was feeling a bit on the low/deep thinking when I made that post. Idleness ko da sha.

You are welcome.
I think it was more of deep think than idleness. It goes to show how you approach life, not like most young women.

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