Bolade005:

Pls do teach us the other ways, I'm interested. Btw, what makes you think the man is not open to other means of sexual satisfaction? The woman cannot even give her man head till he climax. The selfish person here is the OP.

OP, you're married to this man and you find the thought of him erupting in your mouth repugnant? Smh

I pray God gives you the wisdom to do the right thing. All the best.

soonest:

It's the man that needs wisdom pls. Gosh! How selfish can people be. Just 3 wks after birth. Nawa o

nasha1:
I am frustrated and remain frustrated

Bolade005:

I'm not blaming her for not wanting sex yet. I understand she needs time to heal so I'm with her on that. I called her selfish for the half BJ she gives her man. I mean what the hell is a BJ good for when the man doesn't erupt?

Bolade005:

It wasn't written in the OP that the husband had a problem going down on her and if she needed her man to eat her vagina immediately after childbirth then that's her problem.

What two grown-ups do in their bedroom is none of my business but OP made it known she's open to BJ but she's not open to her man erupting in her mouth and I think that's completely selfish of her especially if her man do go down on her. Moreover, you and I both know she could get her husband to a point of climax and remove his device out of her mouth at the point of eruption and I'm sure he'd still be well sated and he wouldn't be complaining.

And Ma'am, yh I do know getting nasty works both ways. Thanks.

PresVA:
This is what happens when one only derives pleasure from s*x ... People need to know that there are other ways of getting pleasure/satisfaction outside sex

So insensitive of your husband, still demanding even though he knows you haven't fully recovered .. if he disturbs you again, call your doctor to talk to him... mtcheeew, don't jeopardise your health because of your husband's selfishness. .

What happens when you have something to do outside the home for months
Na
He needs to find other ways to get busy...

Mayflowa:


Bj is nothing! She could go and study how to do it. She can use her hands too. African women are just uninspiring! Can't even make her husband climax. What do they do at home. To make stupid food for their babies

EfemenaXY:


She already stated very clearly that she is NOT a fan of BJ. That is her preference and she's perfectly entitled to it.

She also mentioned that he doesn't climãx during BJs, nor with condoms. This man evidently wants raw sex with his still recovering wife, thereby risking another pregnancy. Now if that doesn't constitute as a selfish behaviour in your book, then I don't know what will.

EfemenaXY:


If she's not in the mood, she's not in the mood, simple.

For sex to work, both parties must be willing and being coerced or guilt tripped into it. Let him go sort himself with a vigorous wänk and a tub of Vaseline.

Bolade005:

Read the OP again, she didn't say the man doesn't climax during BJs, she said she couldn't give him the BJ to the point of eruption and I think that's because she find the thought of him erupting in her mouth repugnant. Why would a woman have a problem tasting her own man? I don't understand

EfemenaXY:


What don't you understand? It's quite simple.

Her not liking BJs doesn't mean she can't. She only does it because he insists (or coerces her into it). She doesn't derive pleasure from it because she isn't a fan of BJs, so it's understandable she can't get him to climãx.

Let me use a similar analogy: if I don't like a particular dish, it doesn't mean I can't cook it. I can, but the question is: can I prepare it well enough to the satisfaction of a family member who does?

Bolade005:



And before you think I'm insensitive know this, my wife gave birth in January and ever since we've not had sex, she's not completely healed and I don't pressure her because we do explore other means and we are both happy. OP should explore too biko, she should learn to go nasty for her man.

FowlYansh:
We started digging it the next day after the birth of my twins

Bolade005:

I can't win with you shey?

Bolade005:
Is she supposed to derive pleasure from BJ when she's not the recipient?. BJ is to satisfy her man.

Bolade005:
If she doesn't give BJ atall, i'd understand but she gives the man BJ and stop halfway and that's not being selfish to you?, if your man gets you in the mood and then leave u alone, that's not being selfish or if he gets you in the mood and he erupts after 2mins without your body being well sated, that's not selfishness?

Bolade005:
Ma'am, we both know if she does it well, nigga will climax so what we arguing here for?

Bolade005:
And the änal thing u wrote up there I don't buy it. Here the man is the recipient and he likes BJ so if the woman does it well, no way in hell he won't climax. If the woman enjoys änal and the man ram her well even though he doesn't enjoy it, I see no reason why the recipient that likes it cannot climax.

Bolade005:
Tell her to go chew that D1ck and make that man happy.

EfemenaXY:


It's not about winning. We both have differing views and are simply airing our opinions. And while we're at it, I suggest you have a re-read of my post. I think you missed the additional bits in red which I'd like you to address.



Oh really?

So sex is meant to be one-sided? Or in your words to satisfy her man. So what about her own satisfaction / needs? And yet you claim this man isn't selfish?



Well, she never wanted it in the first place but only gave in, on the insensitive man's insistence. So it's hardly surprising that she won't be keen on going all the way in the first place, as her mind isn't in it. She said "no". He insists. She says "oya come". Yet he isn't happy with what he gets. And yet you blame her? Is she his sexual slave or what?




She's already mentioned that she isn't a fan of BJs, nor does she like it! Again:

Many men don't like anãl sex and aren't a fan of it. Now if the wife of such a man is into anãl sex, the man in order to please his wife may do it for her sake, but because he doesn't enjoy it, won't be able to get her to climãx.

Do you understand now?

Be honest, how would you feel under such situation? Coupled with the fact that the poor lady is still recovering from childbirth?




You've conveniently forgotten that she's stated that she doesn't like BJ's, nor the thought of him erupting in her mouth (perfectly understandable), and even when performing his BJ on him, she goes on and on and on but the man doesn't cumm. What more does he want? Is she a sex machine. I reiterate, he should go get a tub a vaseline and perform a vigorous self-service on himself.



Might be better if she bites him real hard.

You know what they say: once bitten twice shy...

Bolade005:

Why would a married man go self-service?

Bolade005:
Didn't she know the man has high libido before marriage? It's her cross and she should deal.

Bolade005:
The OP is even sexually boring and I'm deeply sorry for her man, there are other ways she could explore and they'd both be happy. Instead of you to educate her on other ways, you're here defending the indefensible.

Bolade005:
And before you think I'm insensitive know this, my wife gave birth in January and ever since we've not had sex, she's not completely healed and I don't pressure her because we do explore other means and we are both happy. OP should explore too biko, she should learn to go nasty for her man.

Bolade005:

All right.

Please do teach me how you were able to nitpick those points and reply to them.

EfemenaXY:


So married men don't self-service? Really??



He should go park his "high libido" to one corner. Has he ever given birth? Does he understand what she's going through and that sex is probably the last thing on her mind? How come a married man with 2 kids is insensitive to the fact that his woman who's just given birth to his baby needs time to recover both physically and emotionally?

High libido my foot.



Why should I support an insensitive man?

I've given birth and I know the rigors childbirth puts the body through, especially if wear and tear's been involved (i.e stitching). No two women are the same. Some are sexually responsive shortly after, others aren't. It's her man's job to understand his wife, and if he truly loves and cares for her, he'll control himself.



Your are insensitive.

This is May. Your wife gave birth in January. i.e: [size=18pt]4 months ago[/size] and yet you exercise patience for her, but claim not to understand why this woman, barely [size=18pt]3 weeks[/size] after giving birth isn't happy to get into sex so soon. And I bet even then, you aren't as inflexible as this lady's husband who insists on going raw with no protection.

Mr Bolade005, what gives?

EfemenaXY:


Use the quote functionality. It's easier to do on a laptop as opposed to a mobile phone.

Bolade005:

I'm not a saint but personally I don't see why I'd wañk when I have a wife to satisfy my sexual desires. Well, if married folks do it, it's none of my business.

Ma'am, you only know I've gone 4months without sex but you don't know how long post partum we began exploring other ways na, do you?

Okay, I admit the man is insensitive and selfish but I just believe the woman can try to be a bit flexible and open to exploring other means.

elektra:


I asked this question in a previous post. Can you share?

radicalove:
My newborn is 3 weeks old, I am yet to fully recover after childbirth, my hubby wants sex, I told him I have not fully healed and he is giving me attitude. He then ask for BJ, but I can not give him BJ till he comes. I am not a fan of BJ, and after the BJ, he is left unsatisfied because he does not climax, what should I do? We already have 2 kids, he said that is okay for now. I would have gone for family planning but I can not do that, until after my 6-weeks check up for advice on family planning. Use of condom is not even a better idea because he can never climax while on condom. My question is directed to strong men who have actually watched their wives give birth, is 6 weeks too much for a husband to wait before having sex with the wife?
Cc Lalasticlala

elektra:


Have you given a BJ before?

Sure, she could learn how to do it but 3 weeks post natal is not the time to do so. I have never given birth but I was the only one with my housemate when she had her baby, she couldn't even sit up for 2 weeks and you expect someone in that condition to be learning how to give BJ.

That is an insult to every African mother. Is your mother African? If she is, I guess all she did was sit at home and make stvpid food for you.

Bolade005:

Okay, I admit the man is insensitive and selfish but I just believe the woman can try to be a bit flexible and open to exploring other means.

Bolade005:

I think that's because she find the thought of him erupting in her mouth repugnant. Why would a woman have a problem tasting her own man? I don't understand

soonest:

3weeks post partum, d baby isn't yet adjusted and the woman trying hard to catch up on sleep and rest and she has other kids. Pls where does she find strength and time to be flexible and open to exploring other means.

Is it ice cream?

soonest:

3weeks post partum, d baby isn't yet adjusted and the woman trying hard to catch up on sleep and rest and she has other kids. Pls where does she find strength and time to be flexible and open to exploring other means.

Is it ice cream?

Bolade005:

Why would a married man go self-service?

Didn't she know the man has high libido before marriage? It's her cross and she should deal. The OP is even sexually boring and I'm deeply sorry for her man, there are other ways she could explore and they'd both be happy. Instead of you to educate her on other ways, you're here defending the indefensible.

And before you think I'm insensitive know this, my wife gave birth in January and ever since we've not had sex, she's not completely healed and I don't pressure her because we do explore other means and we are both happy. OP should explore too biko, she should learn to go nasty for her man.

EfemenaXY:


So married men don't self-service? Really??



He should go park his "high libido" to one corner. Has he ever given birth? Does he understand what she's going through and that sex is probably the last thing on her mind? How come a married man with 2 kids is insensitive to the fact that his woman who's just given birth to his baby needs time to recover both physically and emotionally?

High libido my foot.



Why should I support an insensitive man?

I've given birth and I know the rigors childbirth puts the body through, especially if wear and tear's been involved (i.e stitching). No two women are the same. Some are sexually responsive shortly after, others aren't. It's her man's job to understand his wife, and if he truly loves and cares for her, he'll control himself.



Your are insensitive.

This is May. Your wife gave birth in January. i.e: [size=18pt]4 months ago[/size] and yet you exercise patience for her, but claim not to understand why this woman, barely [size=18pt]3 weeks[/size] after giving birth isn't happy to get into sex so soon. And I bet even then, you aren't as inflexible as this lady's husband who insists on going raw with no protection.

Mr Bolade005, what gives?

nasha1:


Madam, u are fighting with a mad woman!go through her posts,u will understand.
When i say mad, as in mad,kolo,mental.