1. Build a house big enough so you can torture more than one tenant at once.



Face-me-I-face you is great for maximum evil.

2. And build the house wherever, even if it means the house will be under water when it rains.



It’s just water.

3. Look for cheap building materials, you’re not living in the house.



The house is the tenants’ problem now.

4. Only do the barest minimum to make the house livable.



I’ve sha put toilet and kitchen..even if they’re right beside each other.

5. Make sure the block of flats you build has absolutely no parking space.



Why do they even have cars?

6. Just so that people will not abuse you, put light and water in the house.




Small geepee tank though, and the cheapest PHCN phase.

7. Put the house on the market for twice its proper value.




And lie a lot!

8. Then ask for two years in advance plus damages.




Oga, if you want the house, come and rent.

9. When they negotiate and beg you, be ‘merciful’ and reduce the price a little.




Or be a mad man and rent it to someone else.

10. When they ask you about the house and the area, be as vague as possible or just outrightly lie.




Safe – you won’t die
Near the main road – you’ll walk for 10 minutes
You’ll get bus to anywhere – No you will not

11. When they move in to the house, wish them success and good luck.




God knows they’ll need it.

12. Be excited when you see them fixing up the house. Higher rent, baby!




Fix it!

13. If they come to complain to you about inheriting the former tenant’s bills.




What’s my own?

14. When they’re fighting with their neighbours, see but don’t talk.




Hian!

15. When something spoils in the house and they come to you.




Do I live there?

16. After a year has passed, increase the rent without notice.




Come and beat me.

17. When they finally decide to move out, increase the price again and put it on the market.



Repeat from step 6.

http://zikoko.com/list/how-to-be-a-nigerian-landlord/

Cc:
Lawyer

AreaFada2:
Hahaha! Funny. But being a landlord is not easy fa.
Some tenants are just impossible. Now they use lawyers to delay eviction. If you are a gentle landlord, you suffer. Some seriously need agbero tactics.

otiigba1:
One of my tenants have not paid rent for six months, and his is even threatning me claiming he is a cultist.
Now how do i handle his case? I may just make his life miserable if not for his children.
You guys think its easy to be a landlord, some times i feel like selling off all my buildings and move on

loomer:



How much you go sell make I buy

otiigba1:
which one do you want to buy? they are all in the east, with few acres of lands too

loomer:



East ke, no bother then. Thanks

otiigba1:
i thought it was supposed to be one nigeria? why are you afraid?
I am sure you must be one of the the folks who claimed nigeria is ONE. Now you are mentioning borders
What if i tell you i have few buildings in the west too. Mushin, ilogbo, ifako jaiye and alaba area.

otiigba1:
One of my tenants have not paid rent for six months, and his is even threatning me claiming he is a cultist.
Now how do i handle his case? I may just make his life miserable if not for his children.
You guys think its easy to be a landlord, some times i feel like selling off all my buildings and move on