i have been having issues with my boyfriend. Recently he called for a discussion and asked if am still interested in a d rship which i said yes. I asked the same to him and he said that he is in between the rship, dat i ve made hime to develope a thick skin towards me. pls advice me on what to do cos i really love him. My boss is saying that i should not call him again, that he shuld be the 1 to value me and look for me. since he knows that i love him so much, that he will use me as trash. pls advice

i think you should go with the advice you boss issued. guys dnt really appreciate girls who are over then, and i think it's natural, cos the guys really wann be the man in the relationship, and when this is happening the other way round all they do is lookout for someone else who they think they control. try to make him responsible but dnt force yourself on him.

but i do give him space.

He's head is probably in a twist at the moment and i dont mean that in a rude way, just that he's probably looking at the quarrels you've had together and thinking "Do I really Need This", hence the comment that he's inbetween relatiosnhips. The truth is if you really love him as you claim he'll see that the other person he's looking at may not be the solution, and that what you have inspite of the disagreements is worth working at. The advice is that you dont force the issue with him, or else he'll take u for a desperado and probably take advantage of that at some point. Cut him some slack and let him appreciate what he has/had with you. If he comes back fine, if he doesnt then at least you would be leaving with your integrity intact.

if u knw what you're worthy, y chase after a man that doesnt appericate u. it obvious ur man is tired of you

thank u debest1, i really apprecaite. thats wat am doing rit now, i no longer call him. trooe, its not as if he is tired of me. his family is influencing my affair with. just imagim, part of the quarrel is that dat d uncle cald and said that i cudnt ask if he has eaten or not the oda day he came to the house. its not as if am stayin wid him in his house, i came and met him wid d uncle at home. i even askled after his family, just dat i didnt ask if he has eaten. He is d bread winner of d family, though they want him to get married but they indirectly doesnt want him to get married cos they know his attention will fully rest on his new family. Honestly am calm at the whole thing, just praying.

what kinda issues have u guys been having?
the excuse you gave is not enough for him to question your love.

more so if you do exactly as your boss says, there is a possibility that it might not favour you.
most times when a guy shows less concern about his girl,
it mostly cos his heart is somewhere else.

i would advice that you follow your heart and do what you think is right. afterall u do know him better than anyone here.
also talk to him, and findout what he see's as your weakness, and try to findways to change them.
also show more concern for his family. this point can never be over emphasised.
if there will be peace beteween you guys tomorrow, its going to be decided from his family.

thanks. our issues have bin on our differences. i stopped calling cos i want to give him time to sort himsef out. if his heart is somwer, him alones knows dat but he doesnt bring them home at all. to me, it means dat they r not yet serious. during our discussion, she pointed out somthings dat i do wrongly. yes i know dat i went wrong at a time but wat he got from me was a product of hw he behaved to me. A source told me dat he afraid of marriage cos he thinks dat he is not mature enough for it. i think he is not sure of wat he wants cos we stoped talkin for like two weeks now only for him to call me on sunday and monday and stopped. me i ve not called either. i want to see dat quest in him. wat do u think?

uchesandy:

thanks. our issues have bin on our differences. i stopped calling cos i want to give him time to sort himsef out. if his heart is somwer, him alones knows dat but he doesnt bring them home at all. to me, it means dat they r not yet serious. during our discussion, she pointed out somthings dat i do wrongly. yes i know dat i went wrong at a time but wat he got from me was a product of hw he behaved to me. A source told me dat he afraid of marriage cos he thinks dat he is not mature enough for it. i think he is not sure of wat he wants cos we stoped talkin for like two weeks now only for him to call me on sunday and monday and stopped. me i ve not called either. i want to see dat quest in him. wat do u think?

And what did he have to say for when he called? Did you both discuss the state of your relatiosnhip?

No. he carried on as if we have bin communicating before, i carried on too. Dat he will like us to attend a burialo on friday next week. i said okay. but before he called, i sent him a text dat i can always remember wen i lost my fone wen i went for interview somwer, he told me not to worry dat it is a sign of good tin coming my way. so i know dat i hv lost him and i also believe its a sign of good tin on my way. so he told me dat he got my text on monday dat he cald me, dat his fone has bin off.

uchesandy:

No. he carried on as if we have bin communicating before, i carried on too. Dat he will like us to attend a burialo on friday next week. i said okay. but before he called, i sent him a text dat i can always remember wen i lost my fone wen i went for interview somwer, he told me not to worry dat it is a sign of good tin coming my way. so i know dat i hv lost him and i also believe its a sign of good tin on my way. so he told me dat he got my text on monday dat he cald me, dat his fone has bin off.

hmmmmm
I think for your sake, you need to sort this thing out once and for all, at the moment he's just slipping in and out of your life making sure that while he's testing the waters elsewhere you are still available as a fall back. Unfortunately you are obliging him but going to places with him when the issue of your relationship is still hanging in the air.

my dear, wat do u want me to do? most pple r rship dont really know wat d end will be like. men kip watever they hv in mind till d day they excute thier plan. ?For me, even if he tells me dat yes he has made up his mind to carry on wid d rship and later jilt me, wat will happen? wat i ve concluded is to dance wat ever music he wants us to dance. do u think if i see someone more serious than him dat i will sit back and wait for him? no ofcourse. so let me be flowing with him while praying to God Almighty, but will never show him dat am interested, is it not to be talkin wid him on fone? for me i will not call him.

player on board. track him down, he's got new toaster

atleast not calling him will either make him miss me, show him dat am not desperate, dat i can stay without him  or as well take him far away from me and thats d end. but i will not lie, i love him. i know his weaknes, whoever he will enter into a rship will experience d same issue wid him

ok

uchesandy:

i have been having issues with my boyfriend.

You drove a poor brother right through the brick wall and now u love him very much? When u were having serious issues, what were u thinking? or u didnt know it could cause him to consider other options?

do u know if he was d 1 dat created d issue? let him try other options, God dey.

uchesandy:

do u know if he was d 1 dat created d issue? let try other options, God dey.

uchesandy:

i have been having issues with my boyfriend. Recently he called for a discussion and asked if am still interested in a d rship which i said yes. I asked the same to him and he said that he is in between the rship, dat i ve made hime to develope a thick skin towards me. pls advice me on what to do cos i really love him. My boss is saying that i should not call him again, that he shuld be the 1 to value me and look for me. since he knows that i love him so much, that he will use me as trash. pls advice

I'm only working with what u gave me madam. . . How do u want me to think he caused the issues when u made comments like those highlighted above?

Dat we had issues doesnt mean i didnt contributed to it. he started it all. infacty, i was d one dat asked first if he is still interested in the rship owing to hw he was bhavin. he said he will get back to me for answers. watever sha, i ve decidede to take him off my mind, just praying to God to give me the grace or work tins out for me. all i need is to get busy wid mysef. i cant take cos of love and loose my integrity. he shud love me back as much as i love him.

uchesandy:

Dat we had issues doesnt mean i didnt contributed to it. he started it all. infacty, i was d one dat asked first if he is still interested in the rship owing to hw he was bhavin. he said he will get back to me for answers. watever sha, i ve decidede to take him off my mind, just praying to God to give me the grace or work tins out for me. all i need is to get busy wid mysef. i cant take cos of love and loose my integrity. he shud love me back as much as i love him.

Can u explain to me these two things:

1)How do u love him? pls give examples of how u show your love.
2)How do u expect him to love u back? Please also give examples of what u expect him to be doing.

sorry i cant xplain dat.

whitelexi are we  writing JAMB question here what is your own for the matter?abi na you be the guy abi na the spokesman huuuuuuuuuuuuu

chiejik:

whitelexi are we writing JAMB question here what is your own for the matter?abi na you be the guy abi na the spokesman huuuuuuuuuuuuu

I'm merely trying to understand her claim, it has absolutely nothing to do with JAMB. She said one thing earlier, now she's saying another thing, and i'm merely trying to understand where she's coming from.
@Poster: first u said he called u for talks and asked u questions, now u say u asked him and he went away to think, and now he's back with answers and questions of his own.
I'm not a lawyer but my psychological side tells me u r not saying it all. If u need constructive advice then u should give just about enough info to create an accurate scenario in people's head, and not some story that in inconclusive.

wats der to understand? in my 1st post i said he called for meeting to answer me for d previous meeting i called.

This is where a guy knows the desperate type.

Assure him of your love towards him; if he continue to show interest in you like in the past, fine; but if he doesn’t, then don’t start forcing yourself on him, just let go and look for someone else.

there is nothing like been 1 bin desperate when it comes to love okay. the bible says wer a man's treasure is, der lies his heart. we all can do stupid tins for d 1 we love. am young to talk about desperation. am not reassuring anything. he knows dat i love him. i love him, fine but am not forcing mysef in him.

they are just puting word in your mouth,you have said it all ok

which one is this love all of you are talking abt,most probably that's why the guy wan run
forget the love thingy tell him you like him a lot but abeg cool down on the love stuff
jeez !!!

MATRIM, u can never understand wat u have not experinced. there is love, God is love. So if u have experinced God then u will Know. U think say na all this naija love u pple r doing here? dont worry, xperience will teach u better

h, .

uchesandy:

i have been having issues with my boyfriend. Recently he called for a discussion and asked if am still interested in a d rship which i said yes. I asked the same to him and he said that he is in between the rship, dat i ve made hime to develope a thick skin towards me. pls advice me on what to do cos i really love him. My boss is saying that i should not call him again, that he shuld be the 1 to value me and look for me. since he knows that i love him so much, that he will use me as trash. pls advice

@uchesandy. i dont tink u nid to bug ur pretty self over dis. i kno u love him dearly very much but d hole scenario is very cleard. he dosnt love u anymore. and i see no reasons why u shd. never mind. but all am tryn to say is dat u shud LET HIM GO and move on wit ur life. at least its not d end of d world. believe me he may not really be d love of ur life because d love of ur life is out der searching for u my dear. so while his still searching for u, remain where u are and BELIVE ME girl, HE'LL SOON FIND U.