Lately, I have read stories and comments here on nairaland about husbands or boyfriends beating their spouse.
All comments have been on the defensive of the receiver of the abusive relationship.
I know it is a wrong thing to be in a abusive relationship especially for a lady.
A man could beat up a woman lets say once, twice, thrice etc, for some maybe, a time comes when they realize their mistakes and decide to make amends, while some go all brutal by the day and never make amends or show remorse.
Now, is it possible for a woman beater to possibly amend his ways?
Are we saying no such person has ever changed his ways and loved his spouse more than before?

cc: mhizeva

Dominique; Lalasticlala


In what ways can a wife beater change?
As posited by nairalanders on this thread.....
1. Knowing God: Total submission and acceptance of the heavenly father through fervent prayers and the will to change is the first step to be taken in order to put a stop to such act.

2. Understanding the purpose of marriage: Marriage is the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (Webster Dictionary).
Before marriage or relationship, we all go through the wooing stage or courtship. During this time, we had a focus of being the best and not having the mindset of beating or humiliating our spouses. It is expedient that we realise the true purpose of our union and delve out of the beating process.

3. Self Realisation: By self realisation, I believe our spouse must have set a certain condition for us to realise the mistake we made down the lane of the abusive relationship. But we should try not to let it go to a limit which is off the edge before we realise. Sometimes it could be too late, but nothing is impossible. You must be willing to take full ownership of the choices you made. Enough pleas must be added also.

4. Self value: We should know our usefulness or importance in a relationship.

5. Conflict Resolution: There are better ways to resolve disputes with our spouses. Some persons are temperamental and don't know how to control it. Finding alternate means is the best way out rather than hitting. Best way is to walk away when angry or when offended. By this, your spouse will know she hit a nerve when you ignore her or decide not to eat her food.


A wife beater can surely change his ways. It all depends on his will and determination. Don't take your spouse for granted. Let's also learn to forgive and forget.
Thank you.

Just here to read the lies.
Can a leopard change its spots? Till you get to meet that special woman who you can't raise your hand on, you will still beat that one you beat up before.

No. Simple as that.

vicstar:
• • • • • Here in d states u raise a finger and u lose the house.

Eran

saaedlee:
Just here to read the lies.
Can a leopard change its spots? Till you get to meet that special woman who you can't raise your hand on, you will still beat that one you beat up before.

Humans are not leopards.
Do people who meet their special woman ever have issues at any point in time?
Are you saying they have never quarreled?

Yes it's possible




Marriage counselling nd therapies can actually help.

I don't advice anyone to go into an abusive reltnshp.

If u notice it on time, u can opt out of the reltnship.

But in d case of marriage, u shud remember that he wasn't like that b4 u married him.
He use to b that sweet guy, u shud find out what went wrong in d marriage nd correct it via therapies.


Now u don't have to wait for him to kill you first.

You guys can be separated in d mean time while he is undergoing rehab or his therapeutic sessions.






colossus2

SirWere:
Eran

what?

Yea.....very possible, bt i wnt advice any lady to be d sample weda he wuld change or nt.

sinaj:
Yes it's possible




Marriage counselling nd therapies can actually help.

The first different answer on a situation like this.
Can you explain further.
Regards!!!

SirWere:
No. Simple as that.

my dear it all depends, sometimes they change . Some of our fathers used to beat our mothers but somewhere along the line they changed and even started advising pple against it. I've seen few wife beaters turning a new leaf. Some change wen serious prayers have been made on their behalf, some change wen the wives teach them one or two lessons and so on.

SirWere:
No. Simple as that.

my dear it all depends, sometimes they change . Some of our fathers used to beat our mothers but somewhere along the line they changed and even started advising pple against it. I've seen few wife beaters turning a new leaf. Some change wen serious prayers have been made on their behalf, some change wen the wives teach them one or two lessons and so on but all the same it is never advisable to cohabit with one.

colossus2:

Humans are not leopards.
Do people who meet their special woman ever have issues at any point in time?
Are you saying they have never quarreled?

I never said humans are leopards!
In what way does the highlighted words mean "punching" "slapping"? Issues and quarrels are done with the mouth and not hands.
You see, any time my pregnant grilfriend and I quarrel, I channel all my energy into words, if she talk one I go talk 39, na so we talk sotey we go come dey exhausted, and we go settle no body raises a hand on each other, but If it were other guys na slap and punch go end am.

mii4u:



my dear it all depends, sometimes they change . Some of our fathers used to beat our mothers but somewhere along the line they changed and even started advising pple against it. I've seen few wife beaters turning a new leaf. Some change wen serious prayers have been made on their behalf, some change wen the wives teach them one or two lessons and so on but all the same it is never advisable to cohabit with one.

I'm telling you, I have seen cases of men who cry after they beat their wives. Men who swear with everything they hold dear that they will never do such again only to find themselves doing the very same thing........

When I say no, I know what I'm talking about.

saaedlee:


I never said humans are leopards!
In what way does the highlighted words mean "punching" "slapping"? Issues and quarrels are done with the mouth and not hands.
You see, any time my pregnant grilfriend and I quarrel, I channel all my energy into words, if she talk one I go talk 39, na so we talk sotey we go come dey exhausted, and we go settle no body raises a hand on each other, but If it were other guys na slap and punch go end am.

Why quarrel at all since she is very special?

Till you get to meet that special woman who you can't raise your hand on, you will still beat that one you beat up before.

By this, it means you will always quarrel with her no matter what, and you would not change.
My bro, different folks and different temperaments.
Fact is people change. Someone who is nice today can go brutal tomorrow, same way as someone who is brutal today can be the most affectionate tomorrow

SirWere:

I'm telling you, I have seen cases of men who cry after they beat their wives. Men who swear with everything they hold dear that they will never do such again only to find themselves doing the very same thing........

When I say no, I know what I'm talking about.

Then you are saying no human alive can ever change right....hmmmm

colossus2:
Then you are saying no human alive can ever change right....hmmmm

It depends on what you term "change". Some Men are just plain evil; conditioned that way and nothing can change them.

colossus2:

Why quarrel at all since she is very special?

By this, it means you will always quarrel with her no matter what, and you would not change.
My bro, different folks and different temperaments.
Fact is people change. Someone who is nice today can go brutal tomorrow, same way as someone who is brutal today can be the most affectionate tomorrow

Quarrels doesnt mean she isn't special. It is healthy, trust me when I say that...
Imagine you raising a hand to slap the face you usually kiss?

vicstar:



what?

Eran means goat!!! Nw react

sheunsheun:

Eran means goat!!! Nw react

vicstar:

Lol. You got me laughing

sheunsheun:
Lol. You got me laughing

now fuckkk off!

vicstar:




now fuckkk off!

Hahahahahahahaha, "Eran"

vicstar:
• • • • • Here in d states u raise a finger and u lose the house.

which state?

jeyselassie:
which state?

• • • • • Abeggi parkwell. no come expose me

colossus2:
Lately, I have read stories and comments here on nairaland about husbands or boyfriends beating their spouse.
All comments have been on the defensive of the receiver of the abusive relationship.
I know it is a wrong thing to be in a abusive relationship especially for a lady.
A man could beat up a woman lets say once, twice, thrice etc, for some maybe, a time comes when they realize their mistakes and decide to make amends, while some go all brutal by the day and never make amends or show remorse.
Now, is it possible for a woman beater to possibly amend his ways?
Are we saying no such person has ever changed his ways and loved his spouse more than before?

cc: mhizeva

Dominique; Lalasticlala

I understand you very well....

Under no circumstances should a man lay his hand on his wife. But if it so happens, there is the possibility of forgiveness...

But in this case it is a man without a stand... A man who cannot function for himself.. without the relying on his father... That made the whole situation more dire...

The lady here... has some blame to share but I don't want to say that on public media because so many ladies in Nigeria share the same blame...

Stay Healthy, Stay Wise

Yes very possible. It is possible for anyone to change if they are willing to take ownership for the choices they made when they assume full responsibility for the part they played whether they were gullible, evil, blind or whatever.

Run for your life ,he don't love you

vicstar:
• • • • • Here in d states u raise a finger and u lose the house.

Which kind law be that...who's marrying who huh??

yes but tru d following:
1.sincerely knowing God & hiz plans of man & woman companionship.

2.undertstanding d real meaning & definition of marriage.
3.self realisation
4.self value
5.knowing dat derz always a beta way of resolving issues wit ur partner dan going violent, physically abusive or d use of tools, instruments or weapons.
........i bliv wit a above application a wife beater can sincerely change but not also not 4get dat such correction or amendments shd engage both parties so as to xperience beta results or outcome bkos such families were dis events take place are bin carried out by 90% of kids in such families on deir own partners wen d time is ripe

Of course, he can change from ordinary slapping to giving knockouts.

andromida:
Yes very possible. It is possible for anyone to change if they are willing to take ownership for the choices they made when they assume full responsibility for the part they played whether they were gullible, evil, blind or whatever.

NemzySeries:
yes but tru d following:
1.sincerely knowing God & hiz plans of man & woman companionship.
2.undertstanding d real meaning & definition of marriage.
3.self realisation
4.self value
5.knowing dat derz always a beta way of resolving issues wit ur partner dan going violent, physically abusive or d use of tools, instruments or weapons.
........i bliv wit a above application a wife beater can sincerely change but not also not 4get dat such correction or amendments shd engage both parties so as to xperience beta results or outcome bkos such families were dis events take place are bin carried out by 90% of kids in such families on deir own partners wen d time is ripe

Heaven bless you.
Will lift your points and include in the original post.
Dominique where are you please.