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Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. - Family - Nairaland

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Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by Nobody: 9:51pm On May 11, 2016
DayDream 1
We can live on love

Reality
Love will neither pay bills nor cover financial hardship. Research have shown that money to be a leading cause of marital dispute and eventual divorce. An unbalance view about money can lead to spiritual and emotional harm and can erode your relationship with your spouse. Don't wait until marriage to discuss money management.



Suggestion:
Talk over your future financial arrangement with your spouse now, before you are married. Consider such questions as these: How will our income be budgeted? Will we have a joint or separate bank accounts? Which spouse will be more adept at Keeping financial records and seeing that bills are paid? How much money can one spend on a purchase without consulting the other? Now is the time to start working as a team!


DayDream 2
We will be a perfect match as a married couple because we see eye to eye on everything, we never disagree!

Reality
if you never disagreed, its probably because you have carefully managed to avoid issues that might spark a conflict, but marriage will not afford you that luxury. The fact is, no two imperfect humans are perfectly matched, so a measure of disagreement is inevitable. You need to consider not only how well you disagree but also what happens when you disagree. A strong union is made up of two people who can openly acknowledge a difference and then work to settle the matter maturely and amicably.


Suggestion:
Reflect on how you have handled conflict with your parents, siblings and co-worker up to this point. Note specific event that have triggered a disagreement, how you responded and what respond might have been better. For Instance, if your impulsive response to conflict has been to storm off to your room and angrily slam the door or Bottle up the anger without responding, write down a better respond, that is, one that will work to resolve the problem rather than further entrench it. if you learn to respond better to conflict you will gain a skill that is crucial to a happy marriage.

DayDream 3
Once I get married, all my sexual desires will be satisfied.

Reality
Being married does not guarantee sex demand. Remember you spouse is a human being who has feelings that mist be considered. Frankly, there would be times your mate simply isn't in the mood for intimacy. Marriage does not give you the right to insist on having your needs fulfilled. The fact is self control is important in both singleness and marriage.


Suggestion:
Make a careful review of your sexual desires and tendencies, and think about how these might affect your marriage. For instance, are you enslaved to self-focused habit of masturbation? have you had a habit of viewing pornography? do you have a roving eye looking lustfully at members of the opposite sex?
Ask yourself, if I have trouble controlling my sexual desires before marriage, how will I be able to do so afterwards.
Another matter: Have you be prone to flirt and okay the field, earning a reputation as a play boy/runs girl among those of the opposite sex? if so, how do you plan to curtail that tendency after marriage, when your affection will need to be directed to one person?

To be continued
Cc: Toks2008
PresVa
Blessedtwins
Larry37
Go2success
Goldendr
Macjc

7 Likes

Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by talk2alabama: 9:55pm On May 11, 2016
Okay
Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by Nobody: 3:14pm On May 12, 2016
Ok
Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by Nobody: 4:07am On May 15, 2016
Daydream 4
Marriage Will make me happy

Reality
An unhappy single person usually becomes unhappy in marriage. Why? Because happiness is determined by one's outlook than by one's circumstances. Those who tend to look negatively at their lot in life usually focus on what's missing in a relationship rather than what's present in it. Its far better to cultivate and nurture a positive spirit while single. Then, if you are married, you will bring out the best in yourself and your spouse.

Suggestion:
Sometimes a negative attitude comes from having unrealistic expectation. On a separate sheet of paper, list two or three things you have of marriage. Read them and then ask yourself; are my expectations based on fantasy than on reality? Have they been fueled by media, perhaps by romantic movies, books or novels. Do my expectations focus on what marriage will do for me-perhaps cure my chronic loneliness, satisfy my desire for sex, upgrade my status among my peers? If so, you will need to shift from thinking of "me" to thinking about "us". To help you do that, list two or three expectations of marriage that involve you and your future spouse.

The above marital daydream can adversely affect your happiness in marriage. So thrive to eliminate such thinking and replace it with a realistic outlook.


Are you ready to get married?

Consider the following questions. You might even use it as a basis for discussion between you and your future spouse.

FINANCIAL ISSUES
* what's is your attitude towards money? Hebrew 13:5,6
*In what way do you show yourself to be financial responsible? Matthew 6:19-21
* Are you currently in debt? If so, what's sites are you taking to paybiff what you owe? Proverbs 22:7
* What will be the cost of our wedding? How much debt, of any, would we consider reasonable? Luke 14:28
*After you are married, will both you and your spouse need to work? If so, how would you andle differimg schedules, domestic chores, baby and transportation needs? Proverbs 15:22
* where will you and your spouse live? How much will rent, food, clothing and other expenses likely cost and how will you pay for those expenses?
To be continued
Cc:
Talk2alabama
Avicky
Aceroyal
Peybuttons
Nikkypearl
Sexytemi
Babythug
Mjblinks
Helen4
Explorer
Blessedtwins
Cococandy
Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by nikkypearl(f): 5:24am On May 15, 2016
(1) Don’t Marry Because of SEX. Because sex may fade.
(2) Don’t Marry because you are
getting OLD. Becase old age has nothing to do with maturity
(3) Don’t Marry because you are of AGE. Because your age has nothing to do with wisdom on how to relate with opposite sex
(4) Don’t Marry because you are LONELY. Because if you do and your marriage fail you will have the worst of loneliness
(5) Don’t Marry because you Need someone to Support you FINANCIALLY. Because if he/she can not do it or not up to your satisfaction the marriage will fail.
(6) Don’t Marry because you
Mistakenly Got PREGNANT for Him. Becase It’s not an excuse. Never berry your precious life into everlasting pain and sorry!
We can go on and on and on! Cheers

2 Likes

Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by Nobody: 6:38am On May 15, 2016
don't marry her just cos she's beautiful.
Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by Nobody: 4:10pm On May 28, 2016
tiniyata:
don't marry her just cos she's beautiful.
Are you sure?
Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by Nobody: 1:10pm On Jun 15, 2016
kiss
singlessubway:
DayDream 1
We can live on love

Reality
Love will neither pay bills nor cover financial hardship. Research have shown that money to be a leading cause of marital dispute and eventual divorce. An unbalance view about money can lead to spiritual and emotional harm and can erode your relationship with your spouse. Don't wait until marriage to discuss money management.



Suggestion:
Talk over your future financial arrangement with your spouse now, before you are married. Consider such questions as these: How will our income be budgeted? Will we have a joint or separate bank accounts? Which spouse will be more adept at Keeping financial records and seeing that bills are paid? How much money can one spend on a purchase without consulting the other? Now is the time to start working as a team!


DayDream 2
We will be a perfect match as a married couple because we see eye to eye on everything, we never disagree!

Reality
if you never disagreed, its probably because you have carefully managed to avoid issues that might spark a conflict, but marriage will not afford you that luxury. The fact is, no two imperfect humans are perfectly matched, so a measure of disagreement is inevitable. You need to consider not only how well you disagree but also what happens when you disagree. A strong union is made up of two people who can openly acknowledge a difference and then work to settle the matter maturely and amicably.


Suggestion:
Reflect on how you have handled conflict with your parents, siblings and co-worker up to this point. Note specific event that have triggered a disagreement, how you responded and what respond might have been better. For Instance, if your impulsive response to conflict has been to storm off to your room and angrily slam the door or Bottle up the anger without responding, write down a better respond, that is, one that will work to resolve the problem rather than further entrench it. if you learn to respond better to conflict you will gain a skill that is crucial to a happy marriage.

DayDream 3
Once I get married, all my sexual desires will be satisfied.

Reality
Being married does not guarantee sex demand. Remember you spouse is a human being who has feelings that mist be considered. Frankly, there would be times your mate simply isn't in the mood for intimacy. Marriage does not give you the right to insist on having your needs fulfilled. The fact is self control is important in both singleness and marriage.


Suggestion:
Make a careful review of your sexual desires and tendencies, and think about how these might affect your marriage. For instance, are you enslaved to self-focused habit of masturbation? have you had a habit of viewing pornography? do you have a roving eye looking lustfully at members of the opposite sex?
Ask yourself, if I have trouble controlling my sexual desires before marriage, how will I be able to do so afterwards.
Another matter: Have you be prone to flirt and okay the field, earning a reputation as a play boy/runs girl among those of the opposite sex? if so, how do you plan to curtail that tendency after marriage, when your affection will need to be directed to one person?

To be continued
Cc: Toks2008
PresVa
Blessedtwins
Larry37
Go2success
Goldendr
Macjc
Re: Reality Check For Couples That Are About To Be Engaged. by Nobody: 9:24am On Mar 21, 2017
singlessubway:
DayDream 1
We can live on love

Reality
Love will neither pay bills nor cover financial hardship. Research have shown that money to be a leading cause of marital dispute and eventual divorce. An unbalance view about money can lead to spiritual and emotional harm and can erode your relationship with your spouse. Don't wait until marriage to discuss money management.



Suggestion:
Talk over your future financial arrangement with your spouse now, before you are married. Consider such questions as these: How will our income be budgeted? Will we have a joint or separate bank accounts? Which spouse will be more adept at Keeping financial records and seeing that bills are paid? How much money can one spend on a purchase without consulting the other? Now is the time to start working as a team!


DayDream 2
We will be a perfect match as a married couple because we see eye to eye on everything, we never disagree!

Reality
if you never disagreed, its probably because you have carefully managed to avoid issues that might spark a conflict, but marriage will not afford you that luxury. The fact is, no two imperfect humans are perfectly matched, so a measure of disagreement is inevitable. You need to consider not only how well you disagree but also what happens when you disagree. A strong union is made up of two people who can openly acknowledge a difference and then work to settle the matter maturely and amicably.


Suggestion:
Reflect on how you have handled conflict with your parents, siblings and co-worker up to this point. Note specific event that have triggered a disagreement, how you responded and what respond might have been better. For Instance, if your impulsive response to conflict has been to storm off to your room and angrily slam the door or Bottle up the anger without responding, write down a better respond, that is, one that will work to resolve the problem rather than further entrench it. if you learn to respond better to conflict you will gain a skill that is crucial to a happy marriage.

DayDream 3
Once I get married, all my sexual desires will be satisfied.

Reality
Being married does not guarantee sex demand. Remember you spouse is a human being who has feelings that mist be considered. Frankly, there would be times your mate simply isn't in the mood for intimacy. Marriage does not give you the right to insist on having your needs fulfilled. The fact is self control is important in both singleness and marriage.


Suggestion:
Make a careful review of your sexual desires and tendencies, and think about how these might affect your marriage. For instance, are you enslaved to self-focused habit of masturbation? have you had a habit of viewing pornography? do you have a roving eye looking lustfully at members of the opposite sex?
Ask yourself, if I have trouble controlling my sexual desires before marriage, how will I be able to do so afterwards.
Another matter: Have you be prone to flirt and okay the field, earning a reputation as a play boy/runs girl among those of the opposite sex? if so, how do you plan to curtail that tendency after marriage, when your affection will need to be directed to one person?

To be continued
Cc: Toks2008
PresVa
Blessedtwins
Larry37
Go2success
Goldendr
Macjc

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