Rise in domestic violence: Infidelity or Economy ~Ola Olusola
Mrs. Abiodun, my neighbour's wife, is presently at the intensive care unit at our General hospital battling to live. No thanks to her husband who battered consciousness out of her few days ago, she has been described as lucky because many of such fights results in death.
I do not need to chronicle the recent murderous fights which our newspapers have been able to write on, neither do I need to tell people in foreign lands that domestic violence is on the increase in Nigeria right now. These men who have successfully murdered their wife are not new in marriage, but now, it seems a beast has been brought into them. This ugly trend is not only about the men because a female Lawyer recently stabbed her husband to death.
Mr. Abiodun accused his wife of infidelity just like the Killer-husbands, it is unfortunate that the deceased are not here defend themselves. Infidelity is not reason enough to commit murder, knowing that you could spend the rest of your life behind bars. These murderers don't even have sufficient evidence to prove their allegations. They bank on their imagination and conclusion. These killers are fingering infidelity believing it sounds better though not to people like me.
The actual straw breaking the back of these Spouse killers is economic hardship, most of these violence stems from the economic situation of the Country. Consider a situation where the whole family depends on the income of the husband, this can make the man become overbearing and quarrelsome. When the family survives on the income of the wife, the man tends to become frustrated and disappointed. Being Africans, the man sees a competitor for the position of breadwinner which should naturally belong to him. When the incomes of both couple is not sufficient to keep body and soul together, danger looms. The situation where one of the couple is very tired from work and cannot perform his/her sexual duties can also be blamed on the economy. It was once like this in our homes, but never under any democracy in Nigeria. I am not writing off the present government, I am only telling them to do something; I hope that's not a crime. Please, pray for the quick recovery of Mrs. Abiodun. God bless us all.
Ola Olusola

It is painful, really painful. Here I am thinking out my next line of action. My husband slaps and tries to strangle me at any little provocation. Whe he has a date, he looks for a quarrel and sleeps out.

I am tired of both physical and emotional humiliation. I have 3 kids-6/4/24mnths, I bring the food to the house for him and the kids. He works with a private firm but often come back home saying no money. I work for the government and takes care of family bills. The cars in the house are all mine and he drives any at will.

He has no value or respect for family / wife or mother. I am ashamed of complaining to my mum or the church. DON'T SAY HIS MUM OR DAD, he walks out on them and have no respect for anyone.

When you see him out, he looks calm and nice but believe me he is a wolf in sheep clothing.

I have been thinking out what to do when he returns home today. This is 6:33am he left the house since about 10:pm last night without a word to any one. I overheard his mum(she's been with us for Omugwo) asking where he was going to , he ignored her and drove off.

I am tired and thinking out my mind what to do when he returns.

I have no strong bones like him so don't advise I fight him, but I am thinking I should lock the gate and do not allow him in. Pls nairaland family help me out. What should I do?

Cheund:
It is painful, really painful. Here I am thinking out my next line of action. My husband slaps and tries to strangle me at any little provocation. Whe he has a date, he looks for a quarrel and sleeps out.

I am tired of both physical and emotional humiliation. I have 3 kids-6/4/24mnths, I bring the food to the house for him and the kids. He works with a private firm but often come back home saying no money. I work for the government and takes care of family bills. The cars in the house are all mine and he drives any at will.

He has no value or respect for family / wife or mother. I am ashamed of complaining to my mum or the church. DON'T SAY HIS MUM OR DAD, he walks out on them and have no respect for anyone.

When you see him out, he looks calm and nice but believe me he is a wolf in sheep clothing.

I have been thinking out what to do when he returns home today. This is 6:33am he left the house since about 10:pm last night without a word to any one. I overheard his mum(she's been with us for Omugwo) asking where he was going to , he ignored her and drove off
I am tired and thinking out my mind what to do when he returns.

I have no strong bones like him so don't advise I fight him, but I am thinking I should lock the gate and do not allow him in. Pls nairaland family help me out. What should I do?

madam, for the sake of ur life and that of ur children, never lock him outside, cos thts how it all starts. Always show him love and pray for him.

Cheund:
It is painful, really painful. Here I am thinking out my next line of action. My husband slaps and tries to strangle me at any little provocation. Whe he has a date, he looks for a quarrel and sleeps out.

I am tired of both physical and emotional humiliation. I have 3 kids-6/4/24mnths, I bring the food to the house for him and the kids. He works with a private firm but often come back home saying no money. I work for the government and takes care of family bills. The cars in the house are all mine and he drives any at will.

He has no value or respect for family / wife or mother. I am ashamed of complaining to my mum or the church. DON'T SAY HIS MUM OR DAD, he walks out on them and have no respect for anyone.

When you see him out, he looks calm and nice but believe me he is a wolf in sheep clothing.

I have been thinking out what to do when he returns home today. This is 6:33am he left the house since about 10:pm last night without a word to any one. I overheard his mum(she's been with us for Omugwo) asking where he was going to , he ignored her and drove off.

I am tired and thinking out my mind what to do when he returns.

I have no strong bones like him so don't advise I fight him, but I am thinking I should lock the gate and do not allow him in. Pls nairaland family help me out. What should I do?

It Is really bad, but it is not irreparable. start from yourself, what are you not doing right.
then to him, u have tried some strategies to help, since they are not working, change your strategy. You could write him a sober letter, you could ignore his excesses, u could arrange a counseling session etc.
pray about it and seek godly counsels. I need to add that you should be extra careful and watch your back. Don't die for any man, it's not worth it. God will heal your home.