What do you think keeps a man till 38 and he is not yet married?

I'm currently dating a man of 38 before we started dating, he always called, was eager to see me and always bugging me.. Told me he wants a serious relationship with me cos he wants to settle down

He said he has been in relationships with different ladies and all the breakups were the fault of the females,that they were all cheats, his last lady broke up with him cos his refusal to kiss & sex her cos dey had an agreement of no sex before marriage.

We also made same agreement yet he has been wanting to kiss/touch me and I've been refusing, this is the same man that said his ex broke up with him cos he refused kissing her..


I also noticed he is not straight forward and always gives excuses, he cancels appointments at late hour without calling to even tell me, gives silly reasons, and he doesn't pick some calls in my presence..

Cowardice...


Impotency




Irresponsibility

to me, i think it's self decision. Though the poster above me got some fact.

Marriage is a thing of Choice and Preference. There was/is no specific Age or RIPE AGE to get married. We tend to learn those odd and unnecessary verses from the society and we forget that the society is best in detecting Faults/Problems, and fail to provide solutions...

talk2alabama:
Cowardice...


Impotency




Irresponsibility

I don't really understand the Cowardice

Impotency.... He talks about kids a lot

A friend of mine said it's because he is a womanizer

MissCheesom:



I don't really understand the Cowardice

Impotency.... He talks about kids a lot

A friend of mine said it's because he is a womanizer

the last one falls under cowardice

talk2alabama:
the last one falls under cowardice

Ok...

Must there be a problem?

Maybe he just enjoys living the single life.

he hasn't found the one

Mindfulness:
Must there be a problem?

Maybe he just enjoys living the single life.

Which is changing women like diapers

jashar:

38 years and haven't found the one?

MissCheesom:


38 years and haven't found the one?

E dey happen

MissCheesom:


Which is changing women like diapers

So?

Did he complain?

He is probably not interested in long term commitment.

His life, his choice!

Mindfulness:


So?

Did he complain?

He is probably not interested in long term commitment.

His life, his choice!

It was a question I asked..

MissCheesom:


It was a question I asked..

It's ok. I was just wondering why you would think that it is a problem not to be married at a certain age.

Mindfulness:



It's ok. I was just wondering why you would think that it is a problem not to be married at a certain age.

He told me so many things which seems not to be true... I've modified my post

MissCheesom:


He told me so many things which seems not to be true... I've modified my post

Let me re-read it then.

MissCheesom:
What do you think keeps a man till 38 and he is not yet married?

I'm currently dating a man of 38 before we started dating, he always called, was eager to see me and always bugging me.. Told me he wants a serious relationship with me cos he wants to settle down


He said he has been in relationships with different ladies and all the breakups were the fault of the females,that they were all cheats, his last lady broke up with him cos his refusal to kiss & sex her cos dey had an agreement of no sex before marriage.

The moment a man would make such a statement to me would be the moment I would run because he is either too du.mb to understand the complexity of relationship dynamics or because he is suffers from a mental illness called narcism, which is destructive to the people around. I believe it is the latter in his case.

Anyone who believes that he is always right and others are always wrong is either dvmb or sick in his head. Such people can never be responsible.

We also made same agreement yet he has been wanting to kiss/touch me and I've been refusing, this is the same man that said his ex broke up with him cos he refused kissing her..

He is a liar. Another reason why you should run swiftly.

I also noticed he is not straight forward and always gives excuses, he cancels appointments at late hour without calling to even tell me, gives silly reasons, and he doesn't pick some calls in my presence..

Yeah! Good you noticed, it wasn't hard, was it?

There are MANY wonderful men out there. Forget about him. Nothing lost, a lot gained.

Lol... You seem young and someone he can bobo.

The first red flag is not admitting to wrong doing in any of his previous relationships. It takes two to tango and if he would claim saint during the previous ones and no't take responsibility for his current situation; you are better off without this fellow.

He still has a lot to learn.

onegig:

Lol... You seem young and someone he can bobo.

The first red flag is not admitting to wrong doing in any of his previous relationships. It takes two to tango and if he would claim saint during the previous ones and no't take responsibility for his current situation; you are better off without this fellow.

He still has a lot to learn.

Very well said.

Mindfulness:


Very well said.

Abi....

There's nothing much more frustrating in a relationship after infidelity and lack of loyalty than being with someone who believes they are always right, makes no mistakes and never takes responsibility for wrong doing.

Fact is no one is perfect and you make mistakes, take wrong turns, say inappropriate things but the ability to agree you erred, apologise and make necessary corrections is what fosters a good relationship. You wouldn't want to be with someone with the opposite of such. Life would be harrowing.

onegig:

Abi....

There's nothing much more frustrating in a relationship after infidelity and lack of loyalty than being with someone who believes they are always right, makes no mistakes and never takes responsibility for wrong doing.

Fact is no one is perfect and you make mistakes, take wrong turns, say inappropriate things but the ability to agree you erred, apologise and make necessary corrections is what fosters a good relationship. You wouldn't want to be with someone with the opposite of such. Life would be harrowing.

I couldn't have said it better. 100 000 likes!
The ability and strength to acknowledge your own part in a conflict coupled with the willingness to understand your partner's perspective and respect of it are indispensable qualities to healthy relationships.

MissCheesom:


38 years and haven't found the one?

Hmmmmmm... e no dey easy naaa....

Have to search well


On a serious note. You can't force a man who isn't ready to commit. Berra free yaself to find someone of the same wavelength as you.

If he ain't ready, he ain't ready. Simple.

U beta investigate properly... He may be married! All he wants maybe you congo ;

Mindfulness:


The moment a man would make such a statement to me would be the moment I would run because he is either too du.mb to understand the complexity of relationship dynamics or because he is suffers from a mental illness called narcism, which is destructive to the people around. I believe it is the latter in his case.

Anyone who believes that he is always right and others are always wrong is either dvmb or sick in his head. Such people can never be responsible.




He is a liar. Another reason why you should run swiftly.




Yeah! Good you noticed, it wasn't hard, was it?

There are MANY wonderful men out there. Forget about him. Nothing lost, a lot gained.

onegig:

Lol... You seem young and someone he can bobo.

The first red flag is not admitting to wrong doing in any of his previous relationships. It takes two to tango and if he would claim saint during the previous ones and no't take responsibility for his current situation; you are better off without this fellow.

He still has a lot to learn.

Will let him know my thoughts and know what he has to say

kings009:
U beta investigate properly... He may be married! All he wants maybe you congo ;

Yeah... Everything is possible

Men are good at hiding secrets

jashar:



Hmmmmmm... e no dey easy naaa....

Have to search well


On a serious note. You can't force a man who isn't ready to commit. Berra free yaself to find someone of the same wavelength as you.


If he ain't ready, he ain't ready. Simple.

I wasn't the one who met him for a relationship... He came to me, said he wanted something serious...he even sent pix of recently married couples according to him and also pix of kids.. He Just didn't act like a really serious man

MissCheesom:


I wasn't the one who met him for a relationship... He came to me, said he wanted something serious...he even sent pix of recently married couples according to him and also pix of kids.. He Just didn't act like a really serious man

My dear. The signs are clear. He ain't ready. Don't you think it's time for you to move on?

jashar:


My dear. The signs are clear. He ain't ready. Don't you think it's time for you to move on?

Will let him know what went wrong then move on

It isn't even advisable to court a man 15 yes and above older than you. Insecurity on his part is inevitable.

Op I have no advice for you

Some guys will never be serious, even when they are 40.

MissCheesom:
What do you think keeps a man till 38 and he is not yet married?

I'm currently dating a man of 38 before we started dating, he always called, was eager to see me and always bugging me.. Told me he wants a serious relationship with me cos he wants to settle down

He said he has been in relationships with different ladies and all the breakups were the fault of the females,that they were all cheats, his last lady broke up with him cos his refusal to kiss & sex her cos dey had an agreement of no sex before marriage.

We also made same agreement yet he has been wanting to kiss/touch me and I've been refusing, this is the same man that said his ex broke up with him cos he refused kissing her..


I also noticed he is not straight forward and always gives excuses, he cancels appointments at late hour without calling to even tell me, gives silly reasons, and he doesn't pick some calls in my presence..

Most of the times guys who play victim are usually the perpatrators, if you dig into his past a little you will find out that he was probably the one who did most of the cheating. If he is constantly going awol, then you have just entered one chance. All i say is run as fast as you can and never look back