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What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 11:29pm On May 20, 2016
lezz:
[b]Firstly, Christianity isn't the white man's religion. Second, headship of the husband has been an African virtue reaffirmed by Christianity and other religions.

Today's Western standing denies man this headship and depicts marriage as a "two-way traffic ".
Same ideology that takes the control of children out of the parents.
The hypocritical fallacy and irony is that no woman wants a man who isn't her superior. Every woman wants her man to lead her.

Women are genetically programmed to depend on men.

The blackmailing phrase of " our mothers were slave" has been amply employed to hurl people into the bandwagon of this new liberation movement.

Have you ever wondered why violence against women her high in the West? 2008 statistics shows 500 women are raped in America daily.

And a Western stooge told me we lack accurate stats here. True that. But does it wipe away the fact that the father of female liberation is still the worst oppressor of the female gender?

I keep saying it, some decades ago, phoney Western accent of British or American English is the sure way of proving how westernised one is. Well since both akara sellers and gala hawkers have mastered that act, our domiciled brothers and sisters have upped the requirements to endorsing controversial Western norms
as conventional mode of conduct.

When is the idiocy going to stop?

[/b]

grin grin grin

You know we don't compromise. We spell out the truth slowly. No one will by any chance miss an alphabet. We're not like some pastors who can't tell the women the truth because it will hurt the offering plate. Neither are we some hopeless men who see these women as some means to cross the shores of this country or ease their dry pockets.

grin grin grin

3 Likes

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Nobody: 11:33pm On May 20, 2016
Just grow up already, old man. You are at least some 16 or 17 years older than I am. Like time I checked that's also almost the age difference betwixt I and all of my 'married uncles' grin .

Act your age and stop acting like a bïtching tool. This creep just keeps finding a way, directly or periphrastically, to sandwich me unnecessarily in his 'posts that I never even read beyond the first two lines'.

This nigga here is not the type to waste any more precious time in puerile internet quibbling. There are certain things one outgrow in life. If you cannot comment on a thread sanely and maturely without hurling veiled expletives then it says a lot about your intelligence and continence.

I take comfort in the fact that I am not the 35 year old here.

Enough said.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 11:35pm On May 20, 2016
lezz:
He dies not today, or never. Not by my hands though.

Why rush to kill he whom fate has fated his doom?

Let the rain gather until they burst through the clouds.
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 11:39pm On May 20, 2016
postmann:


grin grin grin

You know we don't compromise. We spell out the truth slowly. No one will by any chance miss an alphabet. We're not like some pastors who can't tell the women the truth because it will hurt the offering plate. Neither are we some hopeless men who see these women as some means to cross the shores of this country or ease their dry pockets.

grin grin grin
No appeasement !!!

These females with a high dose of hypocrisy have mastered the art of self-deception. And the hanger-on foundling will always tag "older females" to prepp them for sponging grin angry grin

I have nothing against a hungry thief as long as he's genuinely hungry. grin grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 11:43pm On May 20, 2016
postmann:


Let the cloud gather until they burst through the clouds.
grin grin grin grin The older he makes my age, the more excusable his failures are grin grin grin

Should I kill him ?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 11:48pm On May 20, 2016
lezz:
No appeasement !!!

These females with a high dose of hypocrisy have mastered the art of self-deception. And the hangar-on foundling will always tag "older females" to prepp them for sponging grin angry grin

I have nothing against a hungry thief as long as he's genuinely hungry. grin grin

Hold your fire still. I know this infamous kid who ran in here to start a new life after been found out as a deceitful conman who specialises in feeding from the purse of women, needs some financial aid.

You don't want to knock him off his hustle, do you?
grin grin grin
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 11:52pm On May 20, 2016
lezz:
grin grin grin grin The older he makes my age, the more excusable his failures are grin grin grin

Should I kill him ?

Let him eat some more, grow some little flesh over his impoverished body. Let him feed like the hungry pig he is. Then bring him to the slaughter table. Then waste his worthless blood on the asphalt on this forum.
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 11:54pm On May 20, 2016
postmann:


Hold your fire still. I know this infamous kid who ran in here to start a new life after been found out as deceitful conman who specialises in feeding from the purse of women needs some financial aid.

You don't want to knock him off his hustle, do you? grin grin grin
A part of me has genuine sympathy for him, but when I remember his gift of inherent wickedness and devilish antics.

I am tempted to knock him once after a while!!!

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 11:55pm On May 20, 2016
lezz:
A part of me has genuine sympathy for him, but when I remember his gift of inherent wickedness and devilish antics.

I am tempted to knock him once after a while!!!


Let the rain gather some more. Until the clouds can't hold it anymore...then let it fall!!!
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 11:58pm On May 20, 2016
postmann:


Hold your fire still. I know this infamous kid who ran in here to start a new life after been found out as deceitful conman who specialises in feeding from the purse of women needs some financial aid.

You don't want to knock him off his hustle, do you? grin grin grin
A certain female says I hound him , yet he made me more famous and carried my handle on his signature for weeks!!!!

Tell me about anger and frustration!
I'm certain he will put a bullet through me if he catches me in the flesh!!! grin
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 12:03am On May 21, 2016
lezz:
A certain female says I hound him , yet he made me more famous and carried my handle on his signature for weeks!!!!

Tell me about anger and frustration!
I'm certain he will put a bullet through me if he catches me in the flesh!!! grin

A juvenile mind, no matter how far gone in pretence will always betray his lack of wisdom
.

2 Likes

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 12:11am On May 21, 2016
postmann:


A juvenile mind, no matter how far gone in pretence will always betray his lack of wisdom
.
That was one error he will wish he never made.

1 Like

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 12:12am On May 21, 2016
It's time for the battle of the midnight. I leave you here, bro.
Goodnight @lezz the ultimate vanquisher!

1 Like

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by PunterTim(m): 12:14am On May 21, 2016
postmann:


Let him eat some more, grow some little flesh over his impoverished body. Let him feed like the hungry pig he is. Then bring him to the slaughter table. Then waste his worthless blood on the asphalt on this forum.



Wallahi,no chill!

1 Like

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 12:18am On May 21, 2016
postmann:


Let him eat some more, grow some little flesh over his impoverished body. Let him feed like the hungry pig he is. Then bring him to the slaughter table. Then waste his worthless blood on the asphalt on this forum.




Last week, I saw him being shellacked by several monikers in Romance section!!! He denied his own picture, his very self like he denied it in my thread! Lolz. grin grin grin

His moniker isn't worth the show or fight!!!

I will never diss him, if it ever amounts to that, I will just tell of his life and e-story.

My simple phraseology will always make it an interesting read!!!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Justeenaleo(f): 12:19am On May 21, 2016
lezz:


I have nothing against a hungry thief as long as he's genuinely hungry. grin grin

3 Likes

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 12:22am On May 21, 2016
postmann:
It's time for the battle of the midnight. I leave you here, bro.
Goodnight @le.zz the ultimate vanquisher!
Alright, bro.

Today was for side jabs and veiled swearwords!!!

Tomorrow might be for brutal confrontation..... of facts of course grin grin grin

Good night

1 Like

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 1:23am On May 21, 2016
lezz:


Last week, I saw him being shellacked by several monikers in Romance section!!! He denied his own picture, his very self like he denied it in my thread! Lolz. grin grin grin

His moniker isn't worth the show or fight!!!

I will never diss him, if it ever amounts to that, I will just tell of his life and e-story.

My simple phraseology will always make it an interesting read!!!
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Acidosis(m): 4:52am On May 21, 2016
bukatyne:


Headship has always been a part of our culture however Loving of wives is from the Bible/West.

In fact, Acidosis' quote is directly from the Bible. The kind of love inferred to was imported with Christianity.
I'm not one of those who use this line: "bible is from the west"

Christianity has always been with us (Africans). A very vast Christian would understand that a country like Ethiopia (was talked about in the Bible), and places like Cush are all in Africa. You must have heard about the Cushite woman, the Midianite, the Ethiopian woman.

Moses married a Cushite woman (black woman from Southern Ethiopian). And all these stories you read about Egyptians aren't false; last time I checked, Egypt remains in Africa. Besides, do you consider Israel as "West"? Why is Gay marriage not legalize in Israel?

Christianity is not from the UK, America or India. In fact, the percentage of unbelievers in some of these Western countries is higher than what obtains here. Most times, we overlook the fact that Jesus was a middle Eastern man who lived in North Africa.

Why do we have people like Odukoya, Oyedepo, Adeboye travelling back to the 'West' to teach the ethics of marriage?

As regards your point about "African values", each culture in Nigeria has its own beliefs. Christianity (from the missionaries) has only helped us to discard the evil practices (e.g. killing of twins, killing of albinos, etc.). In Nigeria today, an average Yoruba man still believes in calling his elders "boda", "anty", etc.

I don't have much to say about the love aspect, since we both know your statement is baseless. Loving of wives is not alien to us before the missionaries came. A very close look at traditional & church marriage would reveal a total demonstration of love and respect. Why some groups of lost chauvinists have decided to fight the " headship" aspect of marriage is what I find strange and hard to comprehend.

2 Likes

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Ishilove: 6:29am On May 21, 2016
MrPresident1:


A sissy, a man you can wrap around your little finger.
I reject! I weave am!! I dodge am!!! angry
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Jahblessme: 7:02am On May 21, 2016
Culled from bella naija


1) Man: Be yourself. Do what you want.
2)Woman: Endure

25 years later:

Man: This marriage has been so sweet, delicious and lovely.
Woman: Endurance and tolerance are key in all marriages. You have to endure

grin grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by HaneefahRN(f): 7:11am On May 21, 2016
Jahblessme:
Culled from bella naija

1) Man: Be yourself. Do what you want. 2)Woman: Endure
25 years later:
Man: This marriage has been so sweet, delicious and lovely. Woman: Endurance and tolerance are key in all marriages. You have to endure
grin grin


Lolz, hilarious but true
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by HaneefahRN(f): 7:15am On May 21, 2016
What's up with this thread sef, I had to skip through most of the posts undecided
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by PinketteDawn: 7:44am On May 21, 2016
Jahblessme:
Culled from bella naija


1) Man: Be yourself. Do what you want.
2)Woman: Endure

25 years later:

Man: This marriage has been so sweet, delicious and lovely.
Woman: Endurance and tolerance are key in all marriages. You have to endure

grin grin

Yes oh. Endure, endure, endure till death. Endure and pray.
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Dheartless: 7:53am On May 21, 2016
postmann:


Has creamish too been taken by the current tide of new generation male prejudice?
this is surprisingly sad, if only I had seen this earlier.......
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by MrPresident1: 7:55am On May 21, 2016
Ishilove:

I reject! I weave am!! I dodge am!!! angry

Amen to your prayers. When the owner of the sceptre comes, there will be a restoration of better settings, just like the Father always wanted it.
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by PinketteDawn: 8:01am On May 21, 2016
darkenedrebel:


Thank you wink

And of course, I'm in complete consonance with the afore.

And also, positive discrimination against posters who are yet to plight their troth nor have any immediate desire of doing so should be heavily frowned upon. I find such affirmative actions rather degenerative.



I wouldn't feign to be an aficionado in marital affairs. What I would do instead, is border on the point instinctively, and with a conscious effort try to keep my thesis in tandem with a chain of episodic experiences and based on personal observations.

First up, I think there is the need of a slight reformation of the ethics of the African marriage. And I would like to have my focus riveted, this time on the 'Nigerian Marriage' as speaking on the 'African Marriage' would open the floodgates to a lot of generalizations - and as you know, that's never the ideal way of going around such matters.

Permit me to reiterate: certain values need to be revised and reviewed, and if the need arise, should be streamlined with novel ones that are more adaptable to the complexities and nuances of this modern age.

If only the inherent provincialism in the 'set-in-stone' traditionalists can be allayed a little, it wouldn't seem so difficult.
In the past, we used horses, donkeys, camels etcetera to tread afield and also to commute from one village to the next.

Herein lies the significance of the animal analogy: We, humans, realized the need for improvements in our standard of living, and thus, the feverish need arose for mediums that would not only bring a definite end to the tardiness encountered when travelling on a camel etc, but which would also go a long way in lessening the discomforts that usually trailed along with traveling on an animal's back.

The invention of bicycles, cars and other modern means of transportation were resultant of such needs.

Just as we thought it necessary to invent machines that would prove remarkably in sating our needs in transportation, and ergonomically too, so also is the reassessment of the mores guiding latter-day marriages/families meant to be above-the-fold in our to-do list.

This would not only bring about a rekindling of marital values amongst couples, but also be conveniently suited for the '2016 marriage'.

No oars should be stuck into the bedrock of the marriage institution, and which for me are: love, trust and mutual respect betwixt partners.

St. Augustine of Hippo also included bonum sacramenti(indissolubility) in what he thinks wedlocks should be about.

I beg to differ, because I think domestic violence and a busload of imponderables can be considered a valid excuse for the dissolving of any marriage) I'm guessing men rarely turned their wives into punching bags in St.Augustine's time. grin

Men should also stop seeing women as properties or creatures bereft of feelings.

The recent Tiwa Savage and Tee Billz episode that rocked the entertainment world would be the most apt exempli grata in this scenario.
Let's suspend all disbelief and pretend that all Tiwa relayed in that video was true. Having done that, it'd come to the cognisance of any even-handed fellow that this so-called rule which states that a woman's total submission to her man is unnegotiable is a bit arbitrary and beyond the pale, especially when expected to be done without questioning in some very straitened circumstances.

Still on the Tiwa/Teebillz saga, I'm not trying to take sides here, but I don't think it's fair that after a woman(who is principally the sole provider in the Tiwa/Teebillz case) has expended ENERGY, both physically and mentally in performing on stage, or in studio sessions, from morn till dawn should return home only to be subjected to another spate of work by a layabout hubby, especially when it's sommat that could have easily been executed before she made it home.

Why can't he go into the kitchen and fix himself a plate and why would he be so inconsiderate to the plight of someone who has been out all day ploughing the fields.
That to me, is just the height of wickedness and also one of the matters I think needs to be addressed in premarital counselling sessions.

The ideal marriage should not be like a Military system of government, but rather be akin to a football team where each of the persons involved are merely team players working towards a goal and for the commonweal.

It could be remarked in passing that the tradition of women being much more industrious than men has also accelerated the current process of equalization between the sexes, since the African woman in the modern working situation will generally outdo the man(I stand to be corrected).

In light of that, we men should develop some superego and try to adjust adequately to the patently obvious paradigm shift.

Gone are the days when the average woman was quintessentially a kitchen workhorse and a mobile baby-factory .
Times have changed and unless people change with them, the impasse would be unbreakable!.

A man should have no qualms in helping out in the kitchen without the fear of being described as 'stringed to his wife's aprons' or whatchamacallit?. . .yeah, without being labelled as 'henpecked'.

He also shouldn't refuse to help out with domestic affairs because he feels it is below the office of manhood.

Stone the crows!, I find this quite risible because I don't think I would find anything more fulfilling than in helping my soignèe mistress with some domestic chores and even with cooking; hands on her tender hips, nape-kissing and doing all that cosy lovey-dovey stuff whilst helping her out in the kitchen. grin

This is just one side of the coin being addressed and it's mainly hinged on we men learning to adapt to the changing times. My fingers are weary and my brain is addled, perhaps I would, if time permits, state in what ways I think women should also consider adjusting to the changing times in order to foster marriages in these modern day.

Virtual hug for you! smiley smiley
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Dheartless: 8:02am On May 21, 2016
postmann:


What a relief! Thought we have been stripped of another great woman. No doubt there are juvenile minds yet to grasp the true value of being a man. With time some of these boys will learn.
cheesy grin
surely it's a relief

1 Like

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by PinketteDawn: 8:13am On May 21, 2016
lezz:
Every woman wants her man to lead her.

I totally agree with you on this. Yes every woman wants her man to LEAD her.

lezz:
Women are genetically programmed to depend on men.


How? The little I know about genetics is that no sex can exist without the other, so women depend on men and vice versa, especially to procreate. Could you please explain how women are genetically programmed to depend on men?
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by postmann: 8:22am On May 21, 2016
Dheartless:

surely it's a relief

We won't lose her to misandry. Neither will she been taken by the new generation male prejudice.
grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by Dheartless: 9:01am On May 21, 2016
postmann:


16th century is gone beyond my reach but not some of it's good values.
There're many 21st century women who are content being "women". Those who know nothing compares to a man's love and dedication. Those who know humility and submission is the fastest and safest route to being crowned the Queen of his heart.

Not some hybrid monster-woman caught in between being a man and a woman.
@bolded, this is very funny
Re: What Is African Marriage About And What Is It Values? by lezz(m): 9:17am On May 21, 2016
PinketteDawn:



I totally agree with you on this. Yes every woman wants her man to LEAD her.
cheesy grin Good and honest start.



PinketteDawn:



How? The little I know about genetics is that no sex can exist without the other, so women depend on men and vice versa, especially to procreate. Could you please explain how women are genetically programmed to depend on men?


But you have the answer yourself cheesy cheesy cheesy. You just stated that yourself above.

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