kaziblake:
You are just a tribalist

Jaygrl:
Hi legalspices,I am an Igbo girl married to a very very wonderful yoruba guy. We dated for 5years+ before tying the knot. I would give you advice as a Sister,I will never have gone into this marriage without both parents blessing. People tell you shebi it is the guy you are getting married to not his parents/his people but that is a big lie. You are married to every single member of his family. His mum or dad shouldn't even hear of it that he offended me,they are so protective of me like I am their daughter and that is the way it should be. Love is not enough,when he misbehaves it is his family that will talk to him and he will listen.

NB: I don't speak yoruba at all,I hear a little.

IkpuMmadu:


Women are chased not the other way round ..there is what is called dignity .. this has nothing to do with comfy or not

Take a walk and maintain your dignity...it seems you are throwing yourself on him....but why are you not comfy with Yoruba man ?

Just asking maybe I can ascertain why Yoruba women wants to marry igbo men

IkpuMmadu:



Tell am....i am...i have shouted and she won't hear

I am married for over 6 yrs now

She still won't hear

IkpuMmadu:


To you am a tribalist and that is not a bad thing
But to me I am a realist and that is an awesome thing



Everyday here in Nairaland people will complain igbo this igbo that ...it's becoming shameful
They will complain that Igbo won't marry them , therw parents won't let them marry them.

This is sickening and despicable


How many times have you seen an Igbo man or woman cry that the other tribe won't let them marry them




This is such a shameful thing...people throwing their selves on igbo....igbo are just human and this whining should stop

kaziblake:
My dear this is tough o..i will advice you to seek God face,if it doesn't work out then find your way.
My cousin is married to an Igbo guy and they are doing fine.
His parent approved the marriage cos they are well learned and aren't tribalistic likewise her parent too...Tribalism is mostly common among the illiterates.
My yoruba friend is facing the same the same issue from her father cos of her igbo boo,her boyfriend parent accepted her wholeheartedly but her own father is the main issue..She took in and she is currently 8month gone but her father is still adamant.
May God help you and morenike

legalspices:

Amen my sister... my father is cool with us..just his parents and I don't have a mum to come for my omugwo...the dudes parent threatened to disown his sis if she marries outside Igbo...who does that?

kaziblake:
Hmmm this is serious..what is your BF saying about it?Seek the face of God..

legalspices:

He is being a committed,obedient first son and first born of the FAM, laying good examples

mylove4him:
This is a very dicey situation. In any inter tribal marriage you need both families to.consent to it. It is easier if it was your parents that were foot dragging and the guys parents accepted you. In this case, it isn't that way.

Marrying into an igbo family you need his parents consent cos when u marry them you marry all of his family.

There is even a red flag as the guy as u describe him isn't firm and can waiver when the issues arise. Marriage is sweet when u have a supportive husband and a supportive inlaws. When you have a fiance that waivers and tends to listen to other people more omo you are on your own. I tell you the journey will be lonely and u will be married but single.

I know it is difficult to walk away after 5 years but you need to have a rethink. If he says all those things you wrote there. He has already told you the relationship is over indirectly but he doesn't have the 'liver' to tell you to your face.

Pray about it and if after that you still don't have inner peace. Girl, you have to take a walk. Painful but what can you do? I feel your pain. You better go somewhere you are accepted than going where u ain't accepted. Marriage is deeper than what you see outside. Think deeply. I wish you the best.

legalspices:

Speechless??

I'm gathering my thoughts.

kaziblake:
Ikpu stop talking like a child.
She isn't crying or whinning,she only needed advice.

legalspices:

bro u mean o

legalspices:
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.


Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.

Words of advice pls....I really love this guy

legalspices:
Hello fellow NLs, am at a cross road here....I have been dating this Igbo guy for over 5yrs now, am Yoruba tho but we both didn't see it as a barrier what matters to us is the love and connection between us.....he is well known by my family and accepted too but the problem is his parents...his brothers and sisters are indifferent about it...but his parents frowns against any of them marrying outside Igbo...his kid sis is over 30 and still single cos of this issue.


Wont I be treated like an outcast?? My kids?? Whose MIL or FIL doesn't show up for their son's wedding?? She won't show up for my 'omugwo'??

A part of me thinks I can handle the situation, but then another part is asking me to move on.
P
Words of advice pls....I really love this guy

IkpuMmadu:
[s]Advice is when we know the truth in our heart yet we want to be told something else


Madam,marrying him is one thing and fighting the war that will come is another


In Igbo land ....you don't just marry a man you marry the family. Can you stand the hit...what if trouble comes in the marriage ..who do you run to? We know that trouble comes in the marriage. How will you feel if your mother in-law isn't talking to your mother


Get ready for the war
Left for me stay away and don't marry that dude

Love isn't enough in marriage ....the main thing is compatibility and it seems culturally and psychologically you guys lack it


This is to avoid had i known



Will you be able to join umuada
Will you be able to identify ogiri isi for his mother
Will you be able to tuo nja
Will you be able to re ure for umunna



Think well don't let prick do the thinking for u



That's all[/s]

Odunharry:
Love truly is never enough

richyblink1:


Oga, you make it seem like marrying an Igbo man is world war 3. The point you listed there are all meaningless if the man have balls and stand his grounds.

I am igbo while my better half is Akwa Ibom. Yet the sky isn't cracking . The man in question should be able to talk to this parents and make them understand where his happiness lies.

Let's stop encouraging tribalism and encourage one another to resist it gently till it's corrected

Lordguap51:


You mean you actually took time to spew this kinda Nonsense?