Networking is a funny concept. And it’s poisonous. It’s about trying to work a group of people, and their contacts, in order to get something from them. I hate that whole concept, and I’m big enough to admit that part of the reason I hate it is that I suck at it.
Entering a networking event, you can feel the eyes of every attendee fix on you for a few brief seconds, like a pack of hungry wolves. They come up and shake your hand with a poisonously false enthusiasm, and as soon as they work through a quick calculation and conclude that you’re not “important” their eyes start flickering around the room, looking for their next meal.
These people, these networkers, they want something from you. They want something and they’ll do anything to get it. They want something, and they don’t know what it is, but they’ll sure as hell find out if you can give it to them.
It’d be funny if it wasn’t indicative of the way they’re going to treat everyone else they do business with.
It’s a nightmare, it’s completely false, and it feels unpleasantly familiar every time it happens. And it’s not just networking events, I go through this every morning when I triage my email. So many people will reach out, with an email that’s basically an attempt to get something for free, dressed up in something innocuous or friendly.
Email 1: Hey, love your work, thanks for writing it!
Me: Awesome to hear from you, I really appreciate it.
Email 2: …give me money. Invest in my startup. Coach me for free. Get me published on Business Insider. Etc. Etc. Etc.
So here’s my rule. As much as I love meeting people, online and offline, as much as I love connecting with new souls, I will only meet people who genuinely give a shit about what I do. I will only meet people who want to have a real conversation, get to know me, and let an organic relationship grow.