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Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Whyterose: 6:59am On Jun 08, 2016
I av been married 4 2years now, but My hubby is addicted to chatting with random girl's on any social network.This I noticed jst a month in2 our marriage.I av cried n begged dat he stops by seems l'm pouring water on a rock. He goes as far as hooking up with some. I got 2find out wen he spends hours in d bathroom chatting .These girls also send me abusive facebook msgs at times. The most recent of all is dat a friend of mine visited last week n l used her fone to call my hubby cos l was out of airtym only 2resume work on Monday n was shown d conversation BTW her n my hubby cos it happens dat he called her n still went ahead 2search her out on whatsapp n started his shameless chats with her asking 4 her pics n dat the hook up. All along he never knew d lady in question knows him. She jst showed me d chats as l got 2d office. I was so ashamed and embarrassed,infact my day was ruined. I Leta confronted him n since den he's been acting remorseful and all dat. I Jst can't seem 2 4give him this time around cos l strongly believe he's begging now cos l got 2know abt it. Eva since Monday I haven't spoken 2him after d confrontation. pls l'm I on track? your advices is Wat I look forward 2 as l prepare 4 work. Thnx
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by SUPERPACK: 7:07am On Jun 08, 2016
Whyterose:
I av been married 4 2years now, but My hubby is addicted to chatting with random girl's on any social network.This I noticed jst a month in2 our marriage.I av cried n begged dat he stops by seems l'm pouring water on a rock. He goes as far as hooking up with some. I got 2find out wen he spends hours in d bathroom chatting .These girls also send me abusive facebook msgs at times. The most recent of all is dat a friend of mine visited last week n l used her fone to call my hubby cos l was out of airtym only 2resume work on Monday n was shown d conversation BTW her n my hubby cos it happens dat he called her n still went ahead 2search her out on whatsapp n started his shameless chats with her asking 4 her pics n dat the hook up. All along he never knew d lady in question knows him. She jst showed me d chats as l got 2d office. I was so ashamed and embarrassed,infact my day was ruined. I Leta confronted him n since den he's been acting remorseful and all dat. I Jst can't seem 2 4give him this time around cos l strongly believe he's begging now cos l got 2know abt it. Eva since Monday I haven't spoken 2him after d confrontation. pls l'm I on track? your advices is Wat I look forward 2 as l prepare 4 work. Thnx
may i knw ur answer to the following questions:
1. Do both of u have a child
2. are u self dependent
3. are u still romantic towards him, as u were during courtship
4. Is there a communication gap btw both of you
5. Does he have any past history of flirting or womanizing.
.
it will go along way with my advice.

1 Like

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Cutehector(m): 7:08am On Jun 08, 2016
You are on track, but be very very careful, else, the tables will turn against you.




You want to prove a point, that's fine, but don't overstretch it else it turns into something ugly. He shows signs of remorse, isn't dat enough?


Pls forgive and put this behind you and forge ahead, there are far worse things that lies ahead dan this to get all worked up.

2 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by BiafraBushBoy(m): 7:28am On Jun 08, 2016
Mtcheewwwwwww...
Smhh
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by thesicilian: 7:37am On Jun 08, 2016
You ladies should stop the habit of going through your spouses' phones

1 Like

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Blade21: 7:53am On Jun 08, 2016
thesicilian:
You ladies should stop the habit of going through your spouses' phones
are you joking? for Christ sakes he was chatting her friend did you even read the story haba na

16 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Blade21: 7:59am On Jun 08, 2016
Whyterose:
I av been married 4 2years now, but My hubby is addicted to chatting with random girl's on any social network.This I noticed jst a month in2 our marriage.I av cried n begged dat he stops by seems l'm pouring water on a rock. He goes as far as hooking up with some. I got 2find out wen he spends hours in d bathroom chatting .These girls also send me abusive facebook msgs at times. The most recent of all is dat a friend of mine visited last week n l used her fone to call my hubby cos l was out of airtym only 2resume work on Monday n was shown d conversation BTW her n my hubby cos it happens dat he called her n still went ahead 2search her out on whatsapp n started his shameless chats with her asking 4 her pics n dat the hook up. All along he never knew d lady in question knows him. She jst showed me d chats as l got 2d office. I was so ashamed and embarrassed,infact my day was ruined. I Leta confronted him n since den he's been acting remorseful and all dat. I Jst can't seem 2 4give him this time around cos l strongly believe he's begging now cos l got 2know abt it. Eva since Monday I haven't spoken 2him after d confrontation. pls l'm I on track? your advices is Wat I look forward 2 as l prepare 4 work. Thnx
if he's acting remorseful try and forgive him so you don't turn bitter and try talking to him now since he's remorseful he will listen better and please don't fight him just talk heart to heart

2 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by 5minsmadness: 7:59am On Jun 08, 2016
thesicilian:
You ladies should stop the habit of going through your spouses' phones
But she needs to monitor him na
How will she catch him being unfaithful if she doesn't go through his phone as often as possible?
All women should go through thier husbands phone constantly so they can catch them being unfaithful and divorce them!

2 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Nobody: 8:04am On Jun 08, 2016
thesicilian:
You ladies should stop the habit of going through your spouses' phones
that's a very nonsensical talk

11 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by fabem(m): 8:24am On Jun 08, 2016
Well Madam, i know how you feel to be betrayed by someone you love, care and trust. Also, your marriage is still young to be passing through this kind of issues. But, the fact is, this your husband have been doing it before you got married just that you are not observant enough or you overlook it. Now, those things are coming to hunt you. Solution? Anyway, not talking to him for 24hours you are on track but after 24hours and you still keep mute, you are inviting fatigue into your marriage. Communications must be intact in a marriage, anytime any day. So, try to forgive him and try to ask him what he look for outside that you don't have? Though a cheat will always be a cheat until he learnt his bitter lesson from outside, he will now remember he have beautiful wife at home.

1 Like

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by tee59(f): 9:43am On Jun 08, 2016
I belv d man would av bn flirting b4 dey got married whc d lady ignored, tnkn it doesn't matter snc he is getn married to her. Now d reality of marriage has set in wch she can't cope with. Were u blind to des warning signals whn u wer courting him? Dis is d nature of d man u married frm d beginning, cus if not, he wouldn't av don dis. A flirt wil always b a flirt evn whn married. At times in life, it is not how far but how well. U need to b patience with ur husband, also u need wisdom to handle ur marital issues. Pray to God always.

1 Like

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Whyterose: 10:03am On Jun 08, 2016
Thx u all who responded swiftly I appreciate u all. N 4those saying I went thru his fone, I didn't. My find gave me hers 2veiw d chat mysef
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Whyterose: 10:04am On Jun 08, 2016
Thx u all who responded swiftly I appreciate u all. N 4those saying I went thru his fone, I didn't. My friend gave me hers 2veiw d chat mysef
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Whyterose: 10:24am On Jun 08, 2016
[quote author=SUPERPACK post=46374957]
may i knw ur answer to the following questions:
1. Do both of u have a child
2. are u self dependent
3. are u still romantic towards him, as u were during courtship
4. Is there a communication gap btw both of you
5. Does he have any past history of flirting or womanizing.
.
it will go along way with my advice.[/quote

1.Yea we have a son n we r expecting anoda
2. I'm a serving Corp member in abj
3.Yea still on point
4.I think so cos he always wants his space 2enable him chat n I'm usually occupied with d baby
5. Well I only got 2find out 4days 2our white wedding after I losted my fone n he gave me one of his fones to use until he gets me anoda n den I saw millions of chats with diff girls he even slept with some. I confronted him, threw his ring at him n went home,mind u we had done our trad n court wedding by den. His best man n groom's men 2be all came 2my house begging dat l Shd not leave there friend Jst few days 2our white wedding that he has changed n was doing dat cos he was still single
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by iomoge2(f): 1:25pm On Jun 08, 2016
My prayers now is that he doesn't get u infected.

I don't know what advice to give.
Lemme think.

Brb
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by byvan03: 4:05pm On Jun 08, 2016
Women are dying of HIV on daily basis, a cheating man is a dangerous man. Let him always put a cap on it and to be honest, there is no cure for womanising till something grave comes out his actions. Be aware that when these men test +, they don't tell their wives. Just be careful, know also that there is no cure until a miracle happens and it rarely does. It could have been better you let go when you found that who he really was before wedding.

Don't believe anyone that says you have no right to go through his phone, you have every right to know who you are dealing with.

18 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Nobody: 4:25pm On Jun 08, 2016
Whyterose:
1.Yea we have a son n we r expecting anoda
2. I'm a serving Corp member in abj
3.Yea still on point
4.I think so cos he always wants his space 2enable him chat n I'm usually occupied with d baby
5. Well I only got 2find out 4days 2our white wedding after I losted my fone n he gave me one of his fones to use until he gets me anoda n den I saw millions of chats with diff girls he even slept with some. I confronted him, threw his ring at him n went home,mind u we had done our trad n court wedding by den. His best man n groom's men 2be all came 2my house begging dat l Shd not leave there friend Jst few days 2our white wedding that he has changed n was doing dat cos he was still singl
Oh my gosh...
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Nobody: 4:28pm On Jun 08, 2016
thesicilian:
You ladies should stop the habit of going through your spouses' phones
Come closer. My palm is waiting for your face.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by soonest(f): 4:45pm On Jun 08, 2016
Philanderers hardly change. If he's remorseful, forgive him but this does not mean it won't happen again. All the best
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by red19: 5:08pm On Jun 08, 2016
There is really nothing much u can do about ur cheating hubby.I can only advice u pray for him,be careful about sex with him so as not to get an infection and also do things that make u happy.build ur work or bizness and good relationships so u won't have time to be depressed.ur hubby doesn't look like a one time cheat n repent man.Ask for God's intervention in ur marriage n if u feel u can't cope any longer along the line then u do the needful

1 Like

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Nobody: 9:30pm On Jun 08, 2016
Best is to protect yourself, but as for cheating he will continue to do so.unless there is a divine intervention.
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Whyterose: 9:39pm On Jun 08, 2016
Wow such a hard reality I av 2 face. Thx once agn 2 y'all. I wud jst brace up 4d bumpy road in my home
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by 5minsmadness: 10:21pm On Jun 08, 2016
Whyterose:
I av been married 4 2years now, but My hubby is addicted to chatting with random girl's on any social network.This I noticed jst a month in2 our marriage.I av cried n begged dat he stops by seems l'm pouring water on a rock. He goes as far as hooking up with some. I got 2find out wen he spends hours in d bathroom chatting .These girls also send me abusive facebook msgs at times. The most recent of all is dat a friend of mine visited last week n l used her fone to call my hubby cos l was out of airtym only 2resume work on Monday n was shown d conversation BTW her n my hubby cos it happens dat he called her n still went ahead 2search her out on whatsapp n started his shameless chats with her asking 4 her pics n dat the hook up. All along he never knew d lady in question knows him. She jst showed me d chats as l got 2d office. I was so ashamed and embarrassed,infact my day was ruined. I Leta confronted him n since den he's been acting remorseful and all dat. I Jst can't seem 2 4give him this time around cos l strongly believe he's begging now cos l got 2know abt it. Eva since Monday I haven't spoken 2him after d confrontation. pls l'm I on track? your advices is Wat I look forward 2 as l prepare 4 work. Thnx

Ok, I was kinda joking before. On a more serious note:

You married a womanizer.
It's ok though, nobody's perfect.
Some here advising you married wife-beaters, others married thieves, others married men that cant give them babies, others married men they KNOW dont love them.
Like some here have rightly told you, a womanizer will continue to cheat until something drastic happens, either he is caught in the act or acquires an illness or something (not necessarily HIV).
Your husband for once (and according to you) appears to be remorseful over this recent episode. Most likely because he was caught completely red-handed.

Milk it for all it's worth. Make it an issue he wont forget in a hurry. Don't over-do it but make sure he learns his lesson. Tell him you wont resume sexual relations until he goes for HIV test. In the meantime use a condom. Tell him its cos you want to protect yourself, not necessarily cos you are angry with him. That statement will make him think logically about his actions and make him regret that you can no longer trust him. Pls dont do this forever o, just until he gets a HIV test done.

Tell him about all the women that have sent you abusive faceboook messages. Read it out aloud to him in the dead of night, just before he is about to sleep. then leave him to ponder on those words.

At the end of all this pls forgive him. Your marriage is still young and both of you are still growing. He will need to grow out of his womanizing habits. Its sad that this happens a lot in marriage, but in time the man learns to be more responsible and faithful. Dont let it fester in your heart and bring bitterness. That wont help anybody.

All the best.

5 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Whyterose: 12:19am On Jun 09, 2016
Can't even sleep,jst feel this heaviness in my heart. Funny thing is I haven't spoken 2him not bcoz I don't want 2,bt cos I totally lack wat 2say. All l can do is Jst cry cos I feel completely betrayed. My office has suddenly become so uncomfortable cos wen eva I keep 2my self all l get 4rm my boss n odas is... Hpe u r nt still thinking abt it, bla bla bla. Even wen I honestly wasn't. I think she discussed it with Dem 2 cos it appears evry1 knows. Sleep is not helping issues sef, seeing him sleeping peacefully beside me is even making d matter worse. In fact I Jst tire.
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by lovinam: 6:49am On Jun 09, 2016
Omg! So sorry you have to face such an embarrassing situation. I don't know wha to say but I will try and put myself in your position. Knowing what I know today, don't kill yourself over a man. Don't loose your beauty sleep over a man. Even the faithful ones will hurt you one day. I will say, stay protected anytime he wants to ttouch you. Demand for a HIV test in a government hospital. If seeing him sleep hurts you then go sleep in another room. No use getting sick over it. Also you need to try forgiveness, that alone will give you s special peace of mind
Whyterose:
Can't even sleep,jst feel this heaviness in my heart. Funny thing is I haven't spoken 2him not bcoz I don't want 2,bt cos I totally lack wat 2say. All l can do is Jst cry cos I feel completely betrayed. My office has suddenly become so uncomfortable cos wen eva I keep 2my self all l get 4rm my boss n odas is... Hpe u r nt still thinking abt it, bla bla bla. Even wen I honestly wasn't. I think she discussed it with Dem 2 cos it appears evry1 knows. Sleep is not helping issues sef, seeing him sleeping peacefully beside me is even making d matter worse. In fact I Jst tire.

2 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Agybabe(f): 8:09am On Jun 09, 2016
I just pray he doesn't infect you with something deadly. Don't keep quiet, talk to him and make him talk it out with you. My dear, divorce is not an option o. But truth is, he won't stop even if his family gets to find out or even his pastor, not until there's a divine intervention. Na juju dey worry am.
#MaLady
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by GoldenJAT(m): 8:35am On Jun 09, 2016
when angry don't fail to show it... u av shown him... he is remorseful.. that means you have gotten the desired effects... he is weak now... it's d Best time to penetrate his heart... it's a gradual process... acknowledge that and put him in ur prayers.. he is still ur husband. don't get tired of forgiven him.
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by thorpido(m): 11:34am On Jun 09, 2016
lovinam:
Omg! So sorry you have to face such an embarrassing situation. I don't know wha to say but I will try and put myself in your position. Knowing what I know today, don't kill yourself over a man. Don't loose your beauty sleep over a man. Even the faithful ones will hurt you one day. I will say, stay protected anytime he wants to ttouch you. Demand for a HIV test in a government hospital. If seeing him sleep hurts you then go sleep in another room. No use getting sick over it. Also you need to try forgiveness, that alone will give you s special peace of mind
How will the faithful ones hurt you?

1 Like

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by lovinam: 3:22pm On Jun 09, 2016
Doc, Everything must not boil down to kpekus/ cheating matters. It could be decisions taken without due consultation.
thorpido:
How will the faithful ones hurt you?

4 Likes

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by thorpido(m): 5:36pm On Jun 09, 2016
lovinam:
Doc, Everything must not boil down to kpekus/ cheating matters. It could be decisions taken without due consultation.
Then that goes both ways.Women too make decisions without consulting their husbands.You must have read about women who build houses without their husband's knowledge.
Your comment made it look like there is something about men that just makes them unworthy.
Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by Project400: 5:59pm On Jun 09, 2016
Be careful, I personally know 2 women who died of HIV/AIDS because they choose to live with their randy husbands. They never detected the ailment until it became too late. Mind you, one used to be a fervent 'prayer warrior'.

In your attempt to change him, you must ensure and focus on your SAFETY. Personal safety in the areas of health, social and general wellbeing should be your priority.

1 Like

Re: Your Advices Are Highly Valued by KINGinVAHALA: 5:42pm On Aug 11, 2016
Agybabe:
I just pray he doesn't infect you with something deadly. Don't keep quiet, talk to him and make him talk it out with you. My dear, divorce is not an option o. But truth is, he won't stop even if his family gets to find out or even his pastor, not until there's a divine intervention. Na juju dey worry am.
#MaLady

Hi Miss, how re you doing? Seems you don't frequent Nairaland?

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