Don't go into married if you know u can't handle the shiit that come with it


Over to the elders of nairaland

Lemme keep my mouth shut.

But as for me am still enjoying different variety of pus $y every Damn day

If you want to smile, laugh even be happy always.. just come to nairaland and read comments... its more interesting than basket mouth or Apororo comedy..

Meringe:
All these obodo oyibo marriage. Most of them end this way. One common thing about them are lies and deceit.
My dear, it's left for you to know what you want. I have two friends who found themselves in your shoes but theirs are slightly different cos their then partners was sending them money on regular basis, but it is not about money. Marriage needs to be enjoyed, not endured. I hate it when people deceive others to marriage. Kai

As if it's only abroad marriages that are laced with deceit and lies. The ones breaking up everyday around your locus and we see on the blogs are they also obodo oyibo marriages?

Dreal11247:
Having gone through your previous post, it's very clear that the marriage is established on a faulty foundation. I'm counselling as a true child of God. We always advice intending couples that they engage in much prayers before marriage against the plots of the wicked and for God to stop the marriage if it is not going to be favourable.
With this, there is still hope for you in God. Prayers are needed to correct all that are not right. I will advice that you forget about divorce as that is never a good option. There are forces that fight marriages. Some of them remain silent till immediately after the marriage.
With God, all things are possible.

Yeah. Pray until ur husband breaks your head or until you poison him due to your hatred. E pele marriage counselor. Stick with it until u die in it.
OP, u want to listen to prayer warrior? Pray AWAY from ur marriage that God touches his heart, while u move on with ur life. The Ibadan couple is still fresh in our minds

The story is so sweet from ur side, may we hear from ur hubby pls, we need to dig out the truth

Hope

I had to read up the previous thread and cannot but advice you to find your way immediately. Divorce is not Biblical buy i wouldnt kill myself.

Maybe a divorce suit would wake him off his slumber. Be prepared to lose him and become a single mum as you make suit. It may never be easy for you and her, but thats what a mother gotta do.

In whatever you do, know that he is forever in the life of your child if she eventually choose to. Dont deny him access to her but be extremely careful with letting her out of your sight. Men who are very selfish are known to take what they want not minding the implications.

Lastly, take my advice after you search your soul and convince yourself that what you have told us is absolutely correct with no bias. Since we didnt have his version, some advice might be extreme and would only be a reflection of your side of the story.

Dreal11247:
Having gone through your previous post, it's very clear that the marriage is established on a faulty foundation. I'm counselling as a true child of God. We always advice intending couples that they engage in much prayers before marriage against the plots of the wicked and for God to stop the marriage if it is not going to be favourable.
With this, there is still hope for you in God. Prayers are needed to correct all that are not right. I will advice that you forget about divorce as that is never a good option. There are forces that fight marriages. Some of them remain silent till immediately after the marriage.
With God, all things are possible.

So what practical advice are you giving her, that is the issue here.

Juzzybabe:
Hi family,am here again. Some of us here have been following my story and for those who haven't,this link will give you an idea of whats at stake. https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave
I think divorce is just what i need right now but before then, my husband obviously married me with no intention of settling down and having a family. THIS IS A DAMAGE DONE TO MY LIFE how can i make him pay for this?
Secondly, he has up to this moment shown no sign of remorse over he and his parents acts towards me. As for our child,he doesn't support her in anyway.But i really hate the fact where people would say you cannot deny a child his or her father. In my case where the father doesn't care what can i do? Am sure that stingy man is relaxing and waiting after i have done the work on her,den he will come to claim child. He lives and works in Dubai and am here in GH. It is either he signs to support this kid or forget he ever had a child with me (People says that's impossible). How does the law favor me in this ?
All in all, our marriage is not even working out and i see no sign of seriousness in him. I need to move on,I think waiting on him to make amends is not just fruitful. The guy doesn't care! I need divorce to move on. Please people,I am here again,i will appreciate some good advises.

*goes down on one kneel*
*brings out a diamond ring*


Pls, will u marry me?

Juzzybabe:
Hi family,am here again. Some of us here have been following my story and for those who haven't,this link will give you an idea of whats at stake. https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave
I think divorce is just what i need right now but before then, my husband obviously married me with no intention of settling down and having a family. THIS IS A DAMAGE DONE TO MY LIFE how can i make him pay for this?
Secondly, he has up to this moment shown no sign of remorse over he and his parents acts towards me. As for our child,he doesn't support her in anyway.But i really hate the fact where people would say you cannot deny a child his or her father. In my case where the father doesn't care what can i do? Am sure that stingy man is relaxing and waiting after i have done the work on her,den he will come to claim child. He lives and works in Dubai and am here in GH. It is either he signs to support this kid or forget he ever had a child with me (People says that's impossible). How does the law favor me in this ?
All in all, our marriage is not even working out and i see no sign of seriousness in him. I need to move on,I think waiting on him to make amends is not just fruitful. The guy doesn't care! I need divorce to move on. Please people,I am here again,i will appreciate some good advises.

You must have seen the signs prior to marrying him but for one reason or the other u chose to patch patch the thing...

Wouldn't be surprised if there was a good guy that was all over you at the tym but u shunned him for this other fella for reasons only God knows...

Really sorry u feeling the way u do.. Buh would advise u do what's best for ur daughter...

@Post

Follow your heart. You are the one wearing the shoe. You know where it pricks. Don't listen to hypocritical Nigerians that will tell you to stay and pray. Should you get killed, the same hypocrites will come back here to open their maggot-infested, two-timing mouths and ask why you did not leave the toxic relationship in the first place. Your daughter will become motherless and no Nairalander will raise her for you should you get killed. I know Nigerians....most talk from both ends of their mouths when it comes to marriage. Follow your heart is all I can tell you.

Juzzybabe:


o yea, beating was part of it o. Especially when i was in my eight month,he visited Nigeria and beat me almost to coma,he left me bloody and was still beating until i managed to escape. when i escaped,his mum got angrier,she said i ran out to expose her family to outsiders. That made my case even worse. My dear the story is long and i cant even mention all my terrible experiences.
worst of all, he now calls my family and insults them claiming they have his child,and when they ask him what he's doing to restore his family he says its irrelevant to the discussion. I need to move on,i cant keep waiting.

Your husband beats you and his mum keeps quiet.

Man if any of my mother's children hits his wife my mum would kill him. That's how real men are raised.

I REST MY MATTER..

you dont need a divorce.the man has already left.what you need is counselling and spiritual ministrations.something about u is not in place.

henrydadon:
Don't go into married if you know u can't handle the shiit that come with it


Over to the elders of nairaland

Lemme keep my mouth shut.

But as for me am still enjoying different variety of pus $y every Damn day

@Bolded

A good marriage built on Christian principles and morals should not include domestic violence. I don't think people sign up to get married so that their spouses will beat the shyte out of them. If that is what marriage is about, then there is absolutely no need going into it. Such a marriage has a faulty foundation with satan as its head.

First of all as a profesional marriage counselor,i must confess to you that faulty marriage foundation is responsible for this. How did you know him,where,in a club house,beer parlor etc.Infact,give yourself to prayer.

When I say that love is not enough, kids won't understand! The last thing you should consider when marrying someone is the emotion of love. Emotions are laced with trouble. People, acknowledge the LORD for a perfect guide when choosing a marriage partner. Marriage crisis is one virus that almost always defies counseling and prayers. The best GOD can do for you is guide you at the point of choice, thereafter, it's is all damage control.

Forget about the many publicized miracles about restored marriages you hear here and there. It's one in a trillion! Don't put your marriage on the shoulder of chance or miracle, you will regret it!

Juzzybabe:
Hi family,am here again. Some of us here have been following my story and for those who haven't,this link will give you an idea of whats at stake. https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave
I think divorce is just what i need right now but before then, my husband obviously married me with no intention of settling down and having a family. THIS IS A DAMAGE DONE TO MY LIFE how can i make him pay for this?
Secondly, he has up to this moment shown no sign of remorse over he and his parents acts towards me. As for our child,he doesn't support her in anyway.But i really hate the fact where people would say you cannot deny a child his or her father. In my case where the father doesn't care what can i do? Am sure that stingy man is relaxing and waiting after i have done the work on her,den he will come to claim child. He lives and works in Dubai and am here in GH. It is either he signs to support this kid or forget he ever had a child with me (People says that's impossible). How does the law favor me in this ?
All in all, our marriage is not even working out and i see no sign of seriousness in him. I need to move on,I think waiting on him to make amends is not just fruitful. The guy doesn't care! I need divorce to move on. Please people,I am here again,i will appreciate some good advises.

The only grand for divorce is Adultery.

No wonder this generation doesn't value marriage. Hearing stories like this every other day just makes one think...What's the point?

you haven't talked about ur own family ?? if u leave for Nigeria can they take care of you... If u leave go back 2 them and get urself a good divorce lawyer... if u are in abuja and have the means inbox me and I'd help u with one.. all the best and take care of the baby.. u might even get an annulment with the right tack

The truth about this is that we are only seeing this issue from 1 side. Let's not be hasty to judge and conclude matters based on a one sided account. That is one thing I have learnt about marriage, it matter is never truly the way it appears from the account of just one of the party. If the husband is allowed to come and give his own account, you will be surprised. Let's just give her advice on how to make d marriage work. But if she has made up her mind to divorce, she doesn't need any advice to do that. Anyway like I will say divorce is never the solution unless on very few extreme cases that involves threat to life or domestic violence. No human is perfect. if u divorce now, u will be hoping to get married to another person and if dat Doesn't work, u will get another divorce. zo how many divorce r u going to endure? Take note, divorce is never easy. I will advise u to take an object thoughtful approach ro dis. Buey ur bias for now

Juzzybabe:


Even if God wants to answer my prayer,if he cant work the miracle in the direction of changing him completely,let him find me another man that will treat me with love and respect. If you know how much beatings i got even while pregnant from that beast i married,every time he visited i was his boxing sand bag. I never for a day enjoy the marriage i happily signed for. i don't want it again o. and i cant even waste my prayers in that direction again

This is sad! I will recommend three publications for you ( if you wish to read and make use of them) 1. The Secret of Family Happiness 2. Your Family Can Be Happy 3. Teach Your Children. They are all available for download free at JW.org
Also, read and apply Philippians 4:6,7 in the Holy Bible. May your wounds heal and may your sun always shine.

Dreal11247:
Having gone through your previous post, it's very clear that the marriage is established on a faulty foundation. I'm counselling as a true child of God. We always advice intending couples that they engage in much prayers before marriage against the plots of the wicked and for God to stop the marriage if it is not going to be favourable.
With this, there is still hope for you in God. Prayers are needed to correct all that are not right. I will advice that you forget about divorce as that is never a good option. There are forces that fight marriages. Some of them remain silent till immediately after the marriage.
With God, all things are possible.

I don't think u read this post. This marriage is not working. The man has moved on. Even if anything can happen. She has her self esteem to keep. My advice is to move on. The forces are telling her to move on pls. Wait till what happens na?

Front page Seriously Must everything make front page? This lady's case is too severe... not for general public.... mod who ever you are stop being a kid pleaseee!!!

Juzzybabe:


Yes i got married in Nigeria. And i seriously needs a lawyer.

wait ooo.....are you a Ghanaian? Cos you said you left your family in Ghana and got married here




And there's no sense in staying with that fool you call husband.



I'm married too and my wife has friends in similar cases as yours living with hubby's mom and being turned into their house help.


Imagine someone who works in a bank(you know the mental stress im banks) and she will come home in the evening and those old fools will be asking her to make like 4 different kind of food for each person. Person wey she suppose poison



Like I said, marriages like yours where you have to live with an old inconsiderate woman usually ends in tears



Leave now

Stup!d sh!t like this is what puts me off marriage. Men have absolutely no respect or regard for women. How do you spend the rest of your life with someone who thinks you are an inferior human being?

What kind of lifelong torture is that?

Sorry for the unfortunate turn of events OP, I wish you happiness.

Apollux:
The truth about this is that we are only seeing this issue from 1 side. Let's not be hasty to judge and conclude matters based on a one sided account. That is one thing I have learnt about marriage, it matter is never truly the way it appears from the account of just one of the party. If the husband is allowed to come and give his own account, you will be surprised. Let's just give her advice on how to make d marriage work. But if she has made up her mind to divorce, she doesn't need any advice to do that. Anyway like I will say divorce is never the solution unless on very few extreme cases that involves threat to life or domestic violence. No human is perfect. if u divorce now, u will be hoping to get married to another person and if dat Doesn't work, u will get another divorce. zo how many divorce r u going to endure? Take note, divorce is never easy. I will advise u to take an object thoughtful approach ro dis. Buey ur bias for now

abeg go outside, dig a very deep hole and bury your opinion forever(you have a right to it though)




But a man who hits his wife(and worse he hit her while she was pregnant) is not worth living with or called hubby. He's an animal, an untrained dig who will definitely get done soon

[quote author=Juzzybabe post=46537843]Hi family,am here again. Some of us here have been following my story and for those who haven't,this link will give you an idea of whats at stake. https://www.nairaland.com/2056750/advice-he-wants-me-leave
I think divorce is just what i need right now but before then, my husband obviously married me with no intention of settling down and having a family. THIS IS A DAMAGE DONE TO MY LIFE how can i make him pay for this?
Secondly, he has up to this moment shown no sign of remorse over he and his parents acts towards me. As for our child,he doesn't support her in anyway.But i really hate the fact where people would say you cannot deny a child his or her father. In my case where the father doesn't care what can i do? Am sure that stingy man is relaxing and waiting after i have done the work on her,den he will come to claim child. He lives and works in Dubai and am here in GH. It is either he signs to support this kid or forget he ever had a child with me (People says that's impossible). How does the law favor me in this ?
All in all, our marriage is not even working out and i see no sign of seriousness in him. I need to move on,I think waiting on him to make amends is not just fruitful. The guy doesn't care! I need divorce to move on. Please people,I am here again,i will appreciate some good advises.



Such a pity you married such a horrible person. Your marriage was built on lies and deceit. He's never been forthcoming with you and still isn't. That said, you can't live your life on brink worrying about whether he will come for his child or not. I am lawyer so let me counsel you. Before you can get a divorce and permanent custody of your child please first get a job or start a business. You must have a livelihood that will satisfy the court that you will be able to take good care of your child. Get an accommodation, create an environment that will serve the best interest of your child, and as someone already said, keep all receipts of all expenses for your child's maintenance, welfare and education. They will be use as evidence. And get out of that relationship, it is not marriage but a sorry excuse for a marriage. Move on with your life and better yourself.

Dreal11247:

Painful it may be. Really sorry for the experience.
But I made a statement that there are forces that fight marriages and at times automatically start working immediately after the marriage. There is nothing prayers cannot do . Most of the times, it is the man''s spirit wife and the woman's spirit husband that are fighting which now manipulate the couple into hating each other. If not properly and cautiously arrested with adequate prayers, could result in the breakage of the marriage.

I learnt of a case in which the man was chasing after the wife with a cutlass. The woman escaped to a church and was praying. Later on, the man located the wife and when asked why he was chasing after the wife with a cutlass, you won't believe his answer. He said that he was chasing after a goat with all seriousness. Assuming the woman didn't run for her dear life, that would have been her end. Divorce l don't think is the best solution. Prayer is still your best option.

religious people and lack of common sense



Smh

Juzzybabe:


o yea, beating was part of it o. Especially when i was in my eight month,he visited Nigeria and beat me almost to coma,he left me bloody and was still beating until i managed to escape. when i escaped,his mum got angrier,she said i ran out to expose her family to outsiders. That made my case even worse. My dear the story is long and i cant even mention all my terrible experiences.
worst of all, he now calls my family and insults them claiming they have his child,and when they ask him what he's doing to restore his family he says its irrelevant to the discussion. I need to move on,i cant keep waiting.

its so unfortunate madam, I know someone who truly deserves you will come find you

Juzzybabe that is what you get when u run after tall dark and handsome. Attracted to the physique and not the content of the man

It's quite unfortunate that a young girl like is passing all through this.but better still...divorce is not the solution to your problems.remember...2 can. Ever be together else they agreed...are you guys dating before he traveled? Or you met him on social network as he works outside naija...I have my resons for the quetion...most of all this guy's abroad are not real...we have many choices sincerely...better still divorce won't help you out.I only hate the aspect of the beating she gave you...you dnt deserve that.seriously...I don't see anything bad in it if you live your child with his mum and join him to work...after a while you can convince him so far you guys are together.now you can control him nd keep him a little bit from ta king order from his parent.you can now plan on what to come and settle with in nigeria so that you have your child in your care while he keep trying to buy and send you goods to sell.this my advice might help...thanks